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mywoochiediary · 3 years

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Loving you is not expecting something from you; is simply waiting for you, silent, night and day.

Loving you is not demanding of you, it is not forcing you, It is not to pressure you, it is not to convince you, It is not defeating yourself; is to help you free yourself from yourself, of me, of everything, is to lend you my breath, to seduce you without desires, or objectives, is to enjoy yourself.

Loving you is not reject your flaws; is to make me sensitive to them and make you sensitive to them, never expecting you to change them.

Loving you is not take refuge in your person; is to build a shelter together, with our own hands, where the whole world can fit.

Loving you is not wishing be the center of your life; is to drive you, If you let me, if I can do it, to the life of your center, without seeking rewards.

Loving you is not giving up to my dreams for you; is waking up from my dreams, with you, taken from your hand.

Loving you is not flattering you is not puffed up, It is not weakening you is not to get your attention, it is not confusing you; is to show you worth of your shadow, the wonder of your own light, is to help you live alert, is wanting you to fly while I look at you, absorbed, happy.

Loving you is not fearing you is not owning you, it is not guarding you, It is not watching over you; is hugging you warmly, is to open my door for you, is to observe you in full light, in total darkness, with the soul’s eyes.

Loving you is not just looking at you, smell you, or taste you; is looking with you at the same time anything, make me one with your smell, be part of you.

Loving you is not tell you that I love you, It’s not to think that I loved you that I will love you; is asking myself Yes I love you, is to feel it, leaving let it develop in me, without any need to tell you.

Loving you is not always be by your side, It is not always thinking of you It is not always dreaming of you; is to be available to you, is to be you, to become one with you, is to be aware of your dreams, and of mine with you, is to allow know me completely to the very center of my pain, and of my love.

Loving you is not look at you from above, or from below, from behind, from the front; is to cultivate a balance that again and again feel what happens for our common center.

Loving you is not projecting ideas about you is not idealizing yourself; is to see you from afar, from close, from within (from you), from outside, see you from beyond me.

Loving you is not loving you only when you love me, when you’re pretty when you smile at yourself, when you kiss me, when you caress me, when you walk gracefully, when you are calm, when you are happy; is to accept you whole As you are, always and everywhere, with simplicity, gladly.

Loving you is not writing you my love poems; is to be love when I write to you, and when not.

Loving you is not writing that I love you; is to share with you the best of me (love), no return, without horizon.

Ousía Poética ©

Amarte no es esperar algo de ti; es simplemente esperarte, en silencio, de noche y de día.

Amarte no es exigirte, no es obligarte, no es presionarte, no es convencerte, no es derrotarte; es ayudarte a liberarte de ti, de mí, de todo, es prestarte mi aliento, seducirte sin deseos, ni objetivos, es disfrutar de ti.

Amarte no es rechazar tus defectos; es hacerme sensible a ellos y hacerte sensible a ellos, sin esperar jamás que los cambies.

Amarte no es refugiarme en tu persona; es construir un refugio juntos, con nuestras propias manos, donde pueda caber el mundo entero.

Amarte no es desear ser el centro de tu vida; es conducirte, si tú me lo permites, si soy capaz de hacerlo, a la vida de tu centro, sin buscar recompensas.

Amarte no es renunciar a mis sueños por ti; es despertar de mis sueños, contigo, tomado de tu mano.

Amarte no es halagarte, no es envanecerte, no es debilitarte, no es llamar tu atención, no es confundirte; es mostrarte la valía de tu sombra, la maravilla de tu propia luz, es ayudarte a vivir alerta, es querer que vueles mientras te miro, absorto, dichoso.

Amarte no es temerte, no es poseerte, no es custodiarte, no es vigilarte; es abrazarte cálidamente, es abrirte mi puerta, es observarte a plena luz, en total oscuridad, con los ojos del alma.

Amarte no es sólo mirarte, olerte, o probarte; es mirar contigo a la vez cualquier cosa, hacerme uno con tu olor, formar parte de ti.

Amarte no es decirte que te amo, no es pensar que te amé, que te amaré; es preguntarme a mí mismo si te amo, es sentirlo, dejando que se desarrolle en mí, sin necesidad alguna de decírtelo.

Amarte no es estar siempre a tu lado, no es pensar siempre en ti, no es soñar siempre contigo; es estar disponible para ti, es ser tú, hacerme uno contigo, es ser consciente de tus sueños, y de los míos contigo, es permitir que me conozcas por entero hasta el mismo centro de mi dolor, y de mi amor.

Amarte no es mirarte desde arriba, o desde abajo, desde atrás, desde delante; es cultivar un equilibrio que una y otra vez sienta que pasa por nuestro centro común.

Amarte no es proyectar ideas sobre ti, no es idealizarte; es verte desde lejos, desde cerca, desde dentro (desde ti), desde fuera, verte desde más allá de mí.

Amarte no es quererte únicamente cuando me amas, cuando estás guapa, cuando te sonríes, cuando me besas, cuando me acaricias, cuando caminas con elegancia, cuando estás tranquila, cuando estás feliz; es aceptarte entera tal cual eres, siempre y en todo lugar, con sencillez, con alegría.

Amarte no es escribirte mis poemas de amor; es ser amor cuando te escribo, y cuando no.

Amarte no es escribir que te amo; es compartir contigo lo mejor de mí (el amor), sin vuelta atrás, sin horizonte.

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mywoochiediary · 3 years

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The First Time I Fall in Love with Someone

So.. I was in love with a guy from the very first start is only when I was six. I know it sounds silly and nonsense considering I only was six years old. but somehow the more often I see him and the more often I felt that my feelings are true for him. We went to the same elementary school but he is two years above me. When I was in a 1st grade, he was in a 3rd grade.

He’s an introvert, a very quiet person and he looked like a man that full of mistery that somehow I wanna solve with. I always feel curious about him and at the beginning I don’t know his name so I often follow him secretly just to know his name but I only know his nickname.

We always meet each other at the church, I know his parents and his parents know me, our parents are friends to each other and his parents is actually are my godfather and godmother. I was very surprised when I saw his picture when he was only 2 years old and it turns out he was there with his parents when I was baptism for the first time and I was a baby then.

I think he was a mother’s favorite child. I always saw him laying on his mom’s shoulders every time they’re in the church. I tried to my mom once but my mom refused it cause me and my mom didn’t very close of course.

I often see him too as a loner person and I always wondering did he had close friends or not and I remember I used to have a best friend, you can call her Grace. Me and Grace are barely talking to each other right now since she already have a new best friend. I was hurting when she already forgot me and abondon me. But now I feel grateful because without she abondon me I couldn’t make a new friends because I am also an introvert af then. My best friend have a brother and guess what... her brother became a best friend with my secret crush and I was so happy when his brother ask his house phone number because at the time there’s no cell phone.

Sometimes I call his number but then I turn it off just want to hear his voice but now I actually don’t know if it is truly his voice because he has an elder brother. and now I feel kinda guilty because it looked so stupid. But I have my first conversation with him through the phone when I asked him whether if my umbrella was still on his back of his house door because at the time we were having a worship together in his house and who knows that tomorrow when we were having a worship together in other house, he and his mother brought that umbrella and her mother was sitting next to me and he was sitting in front of me and my favorite part is when we were shaking our hands together and I could feel his hands.

I was so shy and scared to ask him to talk to me and since he was a very quite person and a very introvert so we never talk directly. the only time I was talking to him was only I was calling him through his house phone.

I’ll continue later...

#my writing #my life #my love story

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