I gave a gift once to my grandma, heck ye it was unappreciated. So never gave one ever again.
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A flash of light: there and gone again.
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Reason to Live #3682
To feel the rain and the wind, and then go home and drink something hot under a blanket. – Guest Submission
(Please don’t add negative comments to these posts.)
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Lee Do Hyun of Hotel Del Luna 🌃
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Difference
The difference between me and you is that you’ve grown in a place full of love, surrounded by love. And I? I’be been struggling so bad to fight everything. And it is because I live and grown with broken people, families, friends and relationships. Yes, i pretended not to be affect, but it really does. And I won’t say sorry for that. Because I know it made me strong. Strong enough to face you. Strong enough to take a forward even though its baby steps. Strong enough to keep to myself that i love you. But not strong enough to say it to you. Not strong enough to make you stay, even if i love you.
—mydcl
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honestly life is still beautiful without romance. theres a lot of ways to feel connected with people that exist outside of that context. romantic love is beautiful n partnership is sacred n special. but thats still only one aspect of life, just one of the many available facets. life can be full and rich and intimate outside of romance. n we have the capacity for so much! n if we’re really open minded, love can still be everywhere. its there when ur learning something new and when u finally master it. its there at ur baby nieces first birthday party!! it’s there when u make a dish thats tasty n doesnt make anyone sick! its there when something ended up not being as bad as u thought it would be. its there when ur dogs greet u when u get home. it jus exists everywhere all the time in so many forms. n tbh romantic love is limiting. n maybe good love can transcend all kinds of things. but the good news is that we have options.
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“I met an angel long ago who asked me “Why are you lonely?” I told her not to worry because it’s lovely being me. “Then why are you unhappy?” she asked as she looked at me with pity. I smiled at her and said “The cheerfulness in being sad is the thing I call melancholy.””
— j.d
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“inability to reach out to you”
I tried to write you a love letter,
Because god, love, it’s what you deserve,
But the words wouldn’t come out right,
And it ended up a lot more like an apology.
I love you,
I wrote,
Because the words looked so damn pretty on the page -
But then I crossed it out,
Because I am trying to be truthful.
How could I love you? I don’t even know you,
Not anymore.
I miss you,
I write next, and I cross that out, too,
Even though it’s true –
So true it aches; sometimes it feels as though missing you
Is all I ever do.
(which isn’t true, I drink cups of coffee but never finish them,
I write poetry in pencil at 3am,
I wear friendship bracelets and walk barefoot in the rain,
I live, and every moment of my life
leads back to you.)
I brushed by a woman wearing your perfume
And suddenly I couldn’t get you out of my head;
Couldn’t fathom why I was anywhere but
In your arms.
I don’t even know who I’m apologising to anymore;
I miss all of you, I love none of you,
All I know is that it’s nearly September and I wish it was the start of summer again –
I wish I could redo it all,
Turn back the clock.
(except that if I could turn back the clock, I would stay far, far away from you, I have learnt my lesson –
you can’t get addicted if you never try the substance)
((except you can, and I haven’t, and if I could turn back the clock I’d hold your hand so much tighter,
knowing it’d be the last time I’d get to))
I keep checking my texts, though I know there won’t be one from you – I pushed you away, I know that,
My fault, my fault, my fault –
You should probably stop reading now.
You should probably leave me now.
I’m sorry –
Please, I’m so sorry.
I wish you could tell the difference
Between my anger, and my inability to reach out to you –
I wish I could, too.
Everything is unravelling, love,
Everything is falling apart,
And I’m not sure how to do it without you.
I should’ve known it’d end in pain -
I can never do it quite right,
I can never make anyone stay,
But you don’t care and I shouldn’t care and it doesn’t really matter now.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t blame you –
I hate this callous, cold version of myself too.
You made a mistake, you regret it, I get it –
I’m sorry, I’ve had so many friends be ambivalent to whether I am in pain
I forget my actions and words can hurt,
When so many have been apathetic marble statues.
This was such a bad apology, I’m sorry.
What I’m trying to say is,
It’s not your fault I can’t tell the difference
Between hate and hurt and love,
Especially when I feel none of them.
It’s not your fault we became a tragedy,
And you aren’t to blame
For the force with which I hit the ground.
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“Be proud of your pain, for you are stronger than those with none.”
- Lois Lowry, Gathering Blue
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Sending all my love to anyone who is hurting today.
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