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mylkyways · 5 years

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illusionaries‌:

( . . . )

“strawberry boy,” he says mockingly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “long time no see. i missed you over the summer.” malcolm’s mouth is curled up into a teasing grin, trying to goad a response out of ichigo the best and only way he knows how. “did you miss me? have any dirty dreams?” his tone is lighthearted, but his eyes search ichigo’s face for any indication that he thought about malcolm over the summer in the same way malcolm thought about him—but he doesn’t know why he’s looking. why it matters.

nostalgia is shit, maybe. malcolm still clings to it.

for @mylkyways‘s ichigo.

"where are you going?"

"i'm going to spit in ren's tea."

"...ichigo, come. talk to me first."

his father is sitting on his knees a few feet away, watching ichigo with patient eyes. the nine-year-old shoots him a defiant look at first, anger still evident in his drawn eyebrows, but within seconds he obeys. he's always listened well to his father.

"he made me angry," he snarks softly, tiny arms crossed over his chest.

"i know. ren called you a mean name, right?"

ichigo hesitates, then nods.

"he hurt your feelings. that's not okay -- you're right to be upset."

not fully understanding, ichigo gives him a confused look. of course he's right to be angry! father is just telling him he's right, but why does he look disappointed? ichigo still has his arms crossed, staring instead over at the offending cousin, who is still enjoying his tea at the table despite having called ichigo a Dumb Loser not even five minutes ago.

"when someone is mean to us, we don't do something mean to them in return. that doesn't make it better. that just makes us mean, too." ichigo pipes up here, protesting that it's not fair. his father waves this off, continuing with his lecture anyway as ichigo only half-listens.

"as you grow up, you'll realize that some feelings are more useful than others. letting yourself feel hurt and angry when something bad happens isn't going to help you at all -- in fact, it'll just feel worse! you'll have to learn to let things go. or, when it's really important to you, you can talk to the other person and tell them how you feel. telling someone that they hurt your feelings is always better than doing something mean to them to make them feel bad. does that make sense?"

nope, ichigo wants to say, but he knows better than to disobey his father. he's been trying to listen, but the angry feelings have only gotten worse since the beginning. he manages to absorb the last words, at least.

"so... if i'm still hurt, i should tell them about it?" ichigo repeats. his father nods. he gives an 'ok' and turns around.

"ren," he says, little hands on his hips, speaking loudly enough to get his cousin's attention. "you made me angry and hurt my feelings, so i am going to SPIT IN YOUR TEA."

a loud sigh can be heard from behind him.

* * *

he's always had a spiteful streak.

it's not really something to be proud of, he knows, even if that sense of triumph and satisfaction that comes after doing something petty is somewhat addicting. he's aware of how childish it can seem, and how problematic this gets as he grows and wants to be taken more and more seriously.

he's made a resolution of sorts, going into his final upper year at hogwarts, to pull himself together. to get a better grip on his emotions, to only react when it's in his best interests to. yes, this year he'll be a polished, cool, collected ichigo sonoda who does not lose his fucking mind whenever a certain gryffindor opens his mouth --

strawberry boy.

ichigo's nerves spike all at once as he visibly bristles. it's shouldn't be surprising that malcolm would try to track him down on the first day, but ichigo's stomach is lurching anyway. god, merlin, jesus, whoever is in charge of this: why? why me?

during the too-brief respite at the end of the summer, ichigo had spent more time than deserved reflecting on the island... experience with malcolm, mostly to try to justify his own behaviour to himself. yes, he'd let his worst enemy hold him close for what seemed like hours on end, yes he liked it, yes he spent the next few nights thinking about his body's warmth nonstop, but he was able to have all of that make sense: he was delirious! nearly dying from the cold! in such a weakened and vulnerable state, he can't be blamed for how his thoughts wandered! in fact, it was dastardly of malcolm to do all of that without just taking him back to safety... it was his fault anyway... wasn't it? the circumstances leading up to ichigo's fall have become a little foggy in his memory. he remembers malcolm more clearly than anything else.

ichigo assumed that the whole thing mattered less to the gryffindor, who was probably used to acting the "hero", and this is what made ichigo more annoyed when he thought about it. ichigo looked back on the night with embarrassment and irritation, whereas malcolm no doubt saw it as a victory of some sort.

what a twat.

giving little more than a cool glare in his direction, ichigo reminds himself of his 'resolution' as he continues walking, speeding up his strides a little. he probably can't out-pace malcolm, the other is an athlete or whatever, but he can try. "malcolm lee," he greets flatly. "you're headed in the wrong direction. gryffindor tower is the other way.”

that's good enough, he thinks, just shoo him away. he doesn't have to say anything else. being non-chalant would be the best way to get under malcolm’s skin anyway, probably.

but the i missed you has alarms going off and the comment about dreams makes him halt for a second, feet almost stopping in his tracks as he inwardly cringes. how does he know? he starts to panic, no, there's no way. he's still blaming the dreams on whatever his feeble mind was doing when he was still recovering from the river, bits of feelings leftover in the back of his mind coming to surface when he's asleep and his thoughts are less likely to make any sense. he's been ignoring them almost entirely, so it's a bit of a shock when malcolm brings it up just like that, even if he's joking.

ichigo is very careful not to show this crisis on his face though, merely rolling his eyes as he stops to wait for a staircase to move into his path.

"to be honest," he says, knowing fully well that he's about to be anything but, "i didn't think about you at all, let alone have any dreams." lies. ichigo's usually pretty good at these, his voice normally void of emotion, but just malcolm's presence adds a kind of heat to the delivery of his words that he can't really control.

"actually," he starts, feigning a thoughtful look as he tilts his head. "i did think of you... once. i think it was when i accidentally swallowed some poison and needed to induce vomiting. ah yes, it was -- all i had to do was picture your face, and voila! the poison was out of my system."

with that, he breaks eye contact and steps down onto the staircase that's finally appeared. over his shoulder, he gives a fake, closed-lips smile intended to look snide, but it feels unusual to smile in malcolm’s direction at all. the fact that he notices that feeling is annoying. "without even being there, you saved my life for the second time. thank you for that, malcolm lee."

you again.

#illusionaries #( * c: ichigo. )#( * p: ichigo. )#( * you again )#( * ft: malcolm. )#( me naming his cousin after one of my other muses )#( the weird little flashback came to mind a week or so ago... hes so annoying... )#( also where did the horizontal divider go TUMBLR )

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