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32 / Ace / Hazbin Obsession Ongoing / Eternally A Godzilla Fan
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IM ALLOWED TO REBLOG MY OWN POSTS WHEN THERES A NEAT FIC ADDED TO IT
The worst thing that ever happens to MONARCH will be when Godzilla realizes that they're actually interesting. Like... y'all think this lizard is getting in the way now? Wait until he starts reacting to MONARCH like a giant, spoiled cat who expects them to entertain him at his leisure. Wait until any sort of mobilization results in the big honkin' son of a bitch rolling up in a tsunami on the off chance the humans do something worth seeing.
Training exercises become disasters because the newbies aren't good at keeping a low profile and it's hard to give your best performance when Godzilla is eyeballing you from half a mile away.
MONARCH won't be clandestine by choice anymore. It'll be to dodge their weird, scaly #1 Fan and his embarrassed wife.
#godzilla#monsterverse#legendary godzilla#ishiro serizawa#vivienne graham#gojira#kaiju#writing#this is glorious#i love everything#catzilla
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Pls picture a scenario wherein Alastor keeps performing self-sacrificing, daring feats for his "friends" except he actually keeps drastically overestimating how much of his power he can access and keeps almost killing himself as a result.
He could admit this, yes, but it's a preferable form of torture to be the resident hotel antihero. Emphasis on the anti.
#rosies sewing kit has never been so well stocked#vaggie likes him. its disgusting.#charlie learned how to play the kazoo just to give Alastor fanfare after he saved Angel from a falling pornstar#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin alastor#hazbin headcanons#alastor headcanons#hazbin hotel headcanons#hellaverse#hazbin rosie#hazbin hotel fanfic
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And today on Why You Don't Want To Be A Veterinary Professional:
A client sent us a kind email about how we're why pets die and that she can't understand how we can live with ourselves.
Oh, and apparently we all make $500 per hour. Which is news to me and my mountains of debt.
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I feel like Niffty is both very similar and starkly different than Mimzy, in Alastor's eyes. The biggest difference between them being that Niffty gets into huge amounts of trouble when Alastor isn't around... but it's not because she deliberately put herself in that position.
Niffty is perpetually naive and a little confused. She's bad at context clues, and she needs things explained very clearly or she gets mixed messages and does something stupid. Mimzy isn't an idiot. She knows damn fucking well that she's wading into dangerous waters and she does it anyway because she knows Alastor will drag her back out of it.
Niffty? Niffty falls into bad situations by chance. She doesn't even ask Alastor for help; he just happens to notice her predicaments and jumps in to scare off anybody who wants to try something.
Maybe because he had a family member with similar mental troubles. Maybe because he knew someone in life who had a lobotomy and was fucked up as a result. It doesn't really matter. At the end of the day, Niffty accidentally picks fights she can't win, and Alastor considers it his job to fight them for her.
The fact that everyone at the hotel is genuinely kind to her is probably a much bigger reason for why he's being a softie than anything else. These fucking losers love Niffty, and that's probably something Alastor never thought could happen in a shitty place like Hell.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin alastor#hazbin headcanons#alastor headcanons#hazbin hotel headcanons#hazbin hotel niffty#niffty and alastor#niffty headcanons
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Alastor cherry picking slang that he likes which leads to this absolute antique referring to everybody he speaks to as "Bestie" for 2 weeks straight
#“Slay Bestie” - Alastor 2024#“Hello Bestie” Alastor to Vox 2024#vox immediately died#“Bestie pls” Alastor to Mimzy 2024#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin alastor#alastor headcanons#hazbin headcanons#hazbin hotel headcanons#hellaverse#hazbin vox#hazbin mimzy
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An Assortment Of Baby!Alastor Headcanons
At the tender age of 4, Alastor wanted to be an alligator. He refused to accept that alligator was not a reasonable career choice.
Alastor killed another little boy at the age of eight. He hit him with a rock for calling his mother names, then pushed the other child into the bayou.
It was nothing less than luck that he was never caught for it, and the lad was never found.
His education stopped at high school. His mother allowed it only because he was more inclined to study when it had nothing to do with schooling.
A distant aunt died when Alastor was a teenager, and his mother inherited her radio, which was quite a talking point for the entire neighborhood at the time.
Many extended family members were aware that Alastor had a proclivity for violence, as well as a penchant for getting into trouble. He used a combination of charisma, blackmail, and blatant threats to keep rumors away from his mother. Until his death, his mother had absolutely no idea of the truth.
Alastor and Mimzy ran in the same group as young adults, and were just as bad as each other. In fact, it was well known that they brought out the worst in each other... so much so that their group of compatriots would decline to socialize with just the two of them.
#hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin headcanons#alastor headcanons#hazbin hotel headcanons#hazbin hotel fanfic#hazbin mimzy
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Instead of finishing that art,I decided to paint this:
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Give me a movie where Godzilla gets reverse princessed into a human and learns to love through the power of ABBA
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YOU KNOW WHAT HAS GOT ME KICKING MY LITTLE LEGS AND SCREAMING MY HEART OUT THESE DAYS?
How not only the antagonists in Hazbin Hotel don't win but they ACTIVELY help the cause they are trying to destroy
You know Adam? That idiot was such a little bitch "yeah I can't wait to exterminate you guys so I'll come to hell sooner than expected:))))"
AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT CAUSED?
the threat of the extermination made charlie so desperate that she called her father which fixed their relationship, giving her a very powerful new ally, and also allowed her to have her meeting with heaven thanks to which the angels started doubting themselves only to be COMPLETELY proved wrong thanks to Sir Pentious. Who died saving his friends. Saving them from the troops that ADAM sent.
By being his cocky bitchy self Adam started a series of events that made heaven look like fools, proved our girl charlie right and led to HIS OWN DEATH
I'M GOING FERAL
ALSO I'm not forgetting our dear Vox, who sent sir Pentious to the hotel to spy on alastar and generally just to create drama AND INSTEAD provided Charlie & Co with a friend , a protector , someone who died for them AND PROVED THAT THE CAUSE THEY WERE FIGHTING FOR WAS GOOD AND WORTH IT!!!
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Alastor's first month in Hell being the worst in his entire fucking existence because he realized his mother was going to find out everything and he wouldn't even be there to explain himself.
LBR that's probably one of the first and only times in his life he's ever been absolutely, undeniably powerless, and it conveniently also involved the only other human being he genuinely loved. Whose opinion he actually valued.
And she just found out he's not only a murderer, but a bonafide monster. Her entire view of him was going to be fundamentally destroyed and he couldn't do diddly shit to stop it.
#oops i made myself sad#sleeping in the bed you made for yourself sounds ok#then u realize ur moms gonna hate you#bayou!mama didn't raise no psychopaths#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin alastor#hazbin headcanons#alastor headcanons#hazbin hotel headcanons
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I was referred to as The Token Ace of my friend group today and idk if that's a compliment or not but I sure do like having friends
#life#i guess im the token ace now#asexual#is this? friendship?#are these people fond of me?#those fools
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Alastor burns bridges.
Not on purpose. Not because he really formulates a thought that says "yes this is what I want to see happen"
He loves people very intensely, even if it's platonic, for very specific reasons that even Alastor isn't fully conscious of. And, against Alastor's will, people change. That one little thing he loved so specifically about a person can change, and Alastor doesn't know how to adapt. He doesn't want to adapt.
He shuts that shit down. It's their fault. They changed. He didn't change because he doesn't ever change.
Case and fucking point: Vox introduced TV to Hell and did well for himself, but it meant changing the dynamic Alastor loved between them.
So fuck that guy in particular. He's a traitor. He's evil. He's the problem.
#fuck this guy for adapting and doing really well#cant believe he would do this to his BESTIE#his totally unromantic life partner#his platonic husband#what a fucking loser#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin headcanons#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel headcanons#alastor headcanons#hazbin vox
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I have nowhere else to share my actual art
s o
here you go close your eyes and pretend it's Alastor
Jk this is my Hazbin OC his name is Jazz Tiger and he likes LSD and 60s bops
#my art#watercolour art#hazbin hotel#im tagging you fuckers whether you like it or not#cosmic tiger#tiger art
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If you try to tell me Alastor hasn't recited Ozymandias at least 40 times on air I will be forced to call you a liar bc there is no way this dramatic fucking monstrosity doesn't connect viscerally with that entire poem. If you haven't heard a good rendition of it before, pls explore and find the one that tickles your pickle.
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
#poetry#ozymandias#alastor is that kind of nerd#its called culture#poetry hour was his idea and he refused to budge on it#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin alastor#alastor headcanons#hazbin hotel headcanons
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