mutterings-of-a-madwoman - Tumblr blog

mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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thought i’d share some playlists for the sabbats, find them especially useful when i happen to be busy on those days and can’t do much else.

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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anyone who says these unironically now owes me 10 dollars

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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adhd is: i wish i could do this thing i really want to do

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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frembly rememlby

please remember to take time and ask for help if you need it!!! 🌟

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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Y’all wanna know how you can help save the planet?

Grow plants. Grow as many as you can. Grow plants inside your home, outside, on top of the roof, up the walls of your home. Convince others to do the same, particularly companies. Make it the social norm and preference to be surrounded by living plants.

The human world and the natural world can exist harmoniously. We just have to find the harmony.

#plants #save the earth #earth day #planet earth #earth #green #climate change #stop climate change #you can make a difference #this #trees #garden

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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Oh my god

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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My heart 💔 be aware of what your praising others for!

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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pretty shitty how baseline human activities like singing, dancing and making art got turned into skills instead of being seen as behaviors

so now it’s like ‘the point of doing them is to get good at them’ and not ‘this is a thing humans do, the way birds sing and bees make hives’.

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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Here is a free PDF of Why Does He Do That if anyone wants to give it a read

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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This is my girl Ellie 💜 she just turned 6, which is pretty cool because last year we found out she has cancer, and I was super worried she wouldn’t make it to 6. But we found out from the vet that the mass has gone down 45%!!! (You can see it on the left side of her neck still) Reblog for healing for my girl! 🐶🐾

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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“I’ll never forget all the nights that I’ve spent screaming that I want to die.”

— Handguns

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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today my therapist told me that sometimes negative feelings like guilt, anxiety, self loathing, etc are like the hiccups. they’re uncomfortable, we don’t like them, there’s no way to turn them off; they can even be incapacitating for a while. we don’t always know where they came from or when they’ll go away, so sometimes instead of focusing on why we feel a certain way we need to get better at recognizing its temporary nature, keeping perspective, and enduring discomfort. i feel like a lot of self-improvement rhetoric is about pinpointing specific causes for negative thoughts/behaviors so you can eradicate them, but people with chronic mental illness really need to work on allowing themselves to experience these feelings without going into a downward spiral.

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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My heart hurts. It feels like it’s been ripped apart, worse than any heartbreak I’ve ever experienced.

And it’s not a lover that’s done it.

My own body is against me. My very dna is fighting me, and it’s a battle I don’t know if I can win. All I want is a child of my own. And the very thing that is so easy it happens by accident for so many people is next to impossible for me. I walk around like a zombie in my life, desperately missing the small person that should be beside me. But all three children I’ve conceived died before they were even seen on a screen, there and gone with barely a blip on a screen, but severe scarring in my heart.

I can’t breathe.

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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I just explained my issues with executive dysfunction to my dad and holy shit he gets it!

I described it like this:

Imagine you’re back at AllPro(where he worked) with fifty phones and they’re all ringing. You want to answer them all because they’re all equal priority. That’s an environmental cue– phones are generally a ‘respond immediately’ cue.

Picking up a phone is a simple thing. You know it’s as easy as deciding which phone to answer and reaching out to pick it up, but your brain is saying “I must answer all of them!” The phones are ringing, and you can’t make your body reach out to pick one up because you don’t have fifty arms to reach out, you don’t have fifty ears to listen with, you don’t have a brain that can process and respond to fifty conversations and you don’t have fifty mouths that can all say different things all at the same time.

Either you do it all simultaneously or nothing will happen. You can want to do it so bad it makes you cry, and you can’t make a decision because no choice seems like the right one. So the task stays unfinished and you get frustrated every time somebody reminds you to “just do it, it’s not that hard!” Because yes, it really IS that hard.

Now, if you had somebody who could point to which phone to answer, you can do it fine. That’s a prompt. Prompting removes the ‘middle man’ thought that says ‘do it all at once’ and gets you to focus on tasks one at a time instead of seeing them as some towering insurmountable mess.

Dad looked at me for a couple of seconds and said something to the effect of, “I didn’t know doing things were that hard for you.”

This is a major, major, major breakthrough between us because dad had it in his head that I left things messy because I didn’t care. While that’s crappy of him to assume, teaching him how that’s not the case and having him really understand it is a huge deal.

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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adhd things no-one really talks about

- skewed sense of time eg; i can easily get there and back before my eggs cook!

- altered sense of reality//tendency to get sucked up in daydreams and temporarily lose track of real life

- extremely vivid daydreams// alternative realities

- feeling really lonely but getting the urge to isolate yourself for no reason

- getting overwhelmed by too many choices and freaking out

- hearing the instructions but not really being able to hold onto them

- people cant speak to you while you’re really focused on something because you can’t hold on to multiple things in your brain at once

- repeating things over and over in your head to try and remember them

- feeling like you never really appreciate things as much as you should because you get too sidetracked

- getting super excited by small things but sometimes feeling indifferent towards the things everyone’s raving about

- being self conscious from everyone telling you you’re annoying but being scared you’ll come off as boring

- getting hyperfixations on a certain person and getting really wrapped up on them regardless of if they like you back

- putting too much into things and getting disappointed when it’s not reciprocated

- constantly being told that you’re too intense and need to chill it out a bit

- ^ thinking you’re cool and desperately wanting to just be chill and laid back but your personality is just 24/7 overdrive

- building things up so much in your head to the point that it gets stressful because what if it doesn’t live up to expectations??

- extremely over-emotional (this includes when it’s inappropriate such as giggling at sad things and then feeling really bad after)

- feeling when you just don’t know when to stop

- getting increasingly uncomfortable in a situation for no apparent reason until you feel like you’re gonna cry or scream but you do none of that and just sit there

feel free to add on!

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mutterings-of-a-madwoman · 5 years

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It’s probably not surprising that folks with executive dysfunction often have little difficulty getting stuff done when there’s someone around to tell us what to do and supervise us doing it. What’s perhaps more surprising is that it’s not necessarily due to fear of punishment: having a supervisor is effective even if the supervisor in question has no ability to actually compel obedience. Basically, “following direct orders” seems to be a totally separate executive pathway from “self-motivating”, and having trouble with the one doesn’t necessarily mean having trouble with the other.

Which, of course, is why you can end up with situations where your own self-care is garbage, but caring for your pet is totally fine: the benefit of having a supervisor ordering you around can be realised even if the party giving the orders is a cat.

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