I’m still alive, I promise!

I’m sorry I haven’t posted much lately! I’ve been terribly busy!

I want one.

I once had FNAF-esque dream about fursuits chasing me through a warehouse. My nightmare is a reality now! *hides* 

THIS IS SO CRYPTID 

Jane Goodall // trailblazers

Ask most little girls what they want to be when they grow up and they might say a princess, a teacher, an astronaut. Me?  I wanted to be Jane Goodall.  The world’s leading expert on chimpanzees, there is perhaps no greater advocate for wildlife conservation on the planet.  Goodall started working with chimps at age 23, but what began as a career quickly turned into a lifelong passion.  She didn’t just study chimps, she lived among them.  By spending so much time deeply ingrained into the chimps’ society, she was able to identify startlingly human-like characteristics in them.  Each chimp had its own personality, relationships, and emotions the way any human would.  She was also the first to observe chimpanzees constructing and using tools, a characteristic humans had long used to differentiate themselves from animals. In her writings, Goodall gave the chimps names like Fifi and David Greybeard.  She detailed their daily lives, their triumphs and struggles.  In short, she humanized them.  Because of Jane Goodall, human beings were forced to reexamine the natural world and our place in it.  Now in her eighties, Goodall’s activism shows no sign of slowing down.  She continues to inspire the next generation of naturalists to see the world through the eyes of the animals we share it with.

Jane Goodall.

Women in History project continues.

A Mother’s Love

Photo by Helene Hoffman

That moment when the cat smells up the house, and suddenly your Apple Watch reminds you to “Breathe”. No thanks.

Being A Gorilla

Some may be curious what it’s like to be a gorilla therian. Although being a gorilla isn’t something I can explain definitively, I plan to explain what makes me a gorilla in my own mind. Please be aware that the following is a personal interpretation of what it means to be an ape, and should not be used exclusively as a source for determining whether you’re an ape therian or gorilla therian. 

That being said, I have always felt that I wasn’t quite human. Similar to humans for certain, but still most definitely not human. I liked humans, but still felt as if I didn’t belong with them, and I was never perfectly adept at interpreting human behaviors and their meanings. There have been times in which I’ve been a bit...misanthropic, and I’ve always found clothes silly, necessary as they are. 

On top of all that, I have always been drawn to non-human primates. There has always been this closeness I felt to them, more than many humans I’ve known. Sure, apes are similar to humans, but my closeness went a bit beyond the typical, “Gorillas are so much like us!” stance. For me, there was no “us” when it came to humans. I’ve also always enjoyed reading about primates, and especially reading about human evolution, and early steps in humanity’s direction...most especially, I’ve always loved upright apes, like the australopithecines. 

My first inkling that I might be a gorilla was a sudden feeling that I was actually an ape, while looking in a mirror. Something just “told” me, that I was one of the great apes. So I began my research and drew some parallels when it came to gorilla behavior. In the wild, gorillas are social, but reserved. I have a tendency to be “small group social”, meaning that I often get nervous in large crowds, or around strangers. I do take a while to fully trust people, even when I want to trust them, and generally, even though I’m overall quite friendly, I stick with people I know. Gorillas make a variety of vocalizations, and have a number of habits. I growl exactly like a gorilla when I am angry or feel threatened. I also snort when agitated, and whimper when upset. While I do smile naturally, like any other human, I also bare my teeth and snarl, much like a gorilla both smiles happily, and bares their teeth and snarls for more negative emotions. I have a tendency to be extremely tactile. I like to use my hands, enjoy sensations on my hands, and I enjoy grooming. I’ve been known to groom cats, dogs, and myself, by picking at any dead skin...much like an ape. I also admit that I enjoy the scents my fingers pick up. I dislike the taste of meat, although I find my human body needs it. Gorillas are largely herbivorous. I’m relatively non-territorial, like a gorilla, although I’m possessive of certain things like food. I’m a motherly individual, as well, which I believe is very common amongst ape therian, as opposed to to other therians. I’m drawn to forests, rain forests in particular...which feel like home to me. 

Much of this could be human behavior too, of course, and being a gorilla is not only about behaviors. It is, above all, about feelings. I am a gorilla. I identify as a gorilla. Gorilla is me. Gorilla is a strong feeling I feel day to day, and it’s who I am. I knew from reading about gorillas, and looking at pictures of gorillas or watching gorilla videos that I was very gorilla, and that gorilla was right. 

So for anyone interested, there you have it!

whenever people talk about primal urges half the time they’re talking about something sexual, but it’s like, sometimes you just gotta climb a flight of stairs like that, you know? it’s like my body is telling me, “buddy, five thousand years ago everyone would have bolted up stairs on all fours. it’s okay, it’s natural.”

i’ve been having a lot of ace feels lately so i made a thing

I really hope they got her drift.

Seven spaces, including the Free Space. :P

Let’s play THERIAN BINGOOO!

Mark all that apply (I’ll make a general otherkin one laters)

Like you, I feel very different and like a feral human-like animal. Almost a feral human, but more non-human than that. While I have some behaviors that seem like other animals, overall I’d say my theriotype and instincts mesh fairly well. I also have a tendency to become misanthropic, as well, and I do have difficulty understanding human behaviors (although that may be due to autism). 

Now, when  you say, “ I also get a feeling like I am watching my past unfold, one I can’t ever really get in touch with or get real closure on,” are you referring to a sense of nostalgia? If so, I experience the same.

Anyway, nice to see another ape explaining things!

What is being an ape therian like for you? (Huge fan of apes.)

That is a wide spanning question. I suppose it means I’m more comfortable doing, thinking and being in ways that are more apelike or more ‘feral’ you might say, but only to an extent. I fully value my human life and participation in human culture. Physically I often feel a little bit discombobulated. My face feels too flat, my teeth too short, my arms too short, my feet constructed all wrong. I often feel I’d be more comfortable up high, in trees, or loping around on all fours and – as a recent construction project by loporiconteh has allowed, I am able to let that urge out sometimes by using some of my very own arm extenders! Mentally and spiritually I suppose (though one could argue they are roughly the same thing) I often feel distant from people. Not necessarily on an individual level, but as a whole. Humans are like my siblings or cousins whom I love very much, but I’m different from them in fundamental ways. I could never be like them, really, because I’m not one of them. Sometimes it’s lonely. Sometimes feeling that way contributes towards my – at times – misanthropic points of view.

I feel most comfortable when making apelike gestures and expressions. It’s taken years of practise to ‘decode’ the way humans physically communicate as it differs from what I seem to innately understand. I was not born with the ability to read human body language and expressions; I had to learn that myself and it really only came to the fore during my teenage years. Understandably I can’t really do the ‘apeface’ way of communicating very much. I am in a human body, I live in a human society and most of the beings I interact with are humans. 

When I watch apes now, I get a feeling of communion – ‘Hey, I’m one of you! You’re one of me!’ Most of the time it even seems as though that spark is recognised. I also get a feeling like I am watching my past unfold, one I can’t ever really get in touch with or get real closure on.

It’s a bittersweet feeling, really.

Great Ape Kin/Therian Rollcall!

Reblog or Like if you’re great apekin/great ape therian.

Trees, like animals, can also experience albinism, though it is extremely rare.