thefoxevans​:

_____

While Lily had never outright sought out war, she wasn’t terribly surprised to find herself in the midst of one. She had always been brimming with just a little too much passion, and she was always just a little too ready to fight for what she wanted. Despite the fact that she could be impossibly soft, her fists were always half clenched, ready to swing if necessary. This was as good a cause as any, perhaps the most fitting one for her to throw her weight fully behind. Besides, if people were willing to follow her, maybe it was her duty to lead. 

However, the idea of leading was a lot easier to picture than actually doing. It was especially difficult when the people she was leading were those that she would be shattered to lose. Lily couldn’t imagine her life without her boys, without Marlene, without Evan, with the rest of their friends that were following her headfirst into battle because they trusted her. Sometimes the amount of faith they put in her hands was utterly overwhelming. Lily dreaded the day she got one of them killed, because as much as she vowed to herself that she’d never allow it to happen, she couldn’t make those kinds of promises. She knew if she lost them it would only be at her own expense as well. The Smiths had put it into words when they said ‘to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die,’ and Lily didn’t doubt that it would be glorious if it ever came to that. 

Pushing her hair back, Lily gave him a soft smile as she countered, “Well you might blame yourself, and I can’t ease that, but know that I don’t blame you. You were in an impossible situation, Rem, and I for one, wouldn’t have wanted to be caught in it.” Lily knew that this wasn’t a guilt she could absolve him of. As much as she wanted to take it off his shoulders and rid him off it and all the rest, she couldn’t. However, she could ensure that he didn’t add anymore on her behalf. “Maybe, or it would have fractured us sooner and in a worse way. I don’t know,” she mused. Lily had a distinct image of her and Remus standing against the rest because even if Lily wouldn’t have seen it, wouldn’t have wanted to, she’d have stood by Remus every time. James and Sirius, though, she couldn’t be sure. Would they have pushed them out or Peter? It was hard to tell and something she didn’t want to necessarily dwell on. 

“I’m sure it would have changed something, but I can’t imagine it’d have changed anything for the better,” she admitted. It was a distinctly bitter feeling, but one she knew well nonetheless. Lily had always been good at listening to the universe, and this time it was asking her to stop pulling on the strings of what if. What was done was done. Nodding, she gave a quiet hum, “I hear you,” she answered, and she did. There was no counter argument, no but to tack on, no rebuttal to his statement because there was no need for one. Remus was opening up to her, and Lily, she was there to just listen. If she was good at listening to the universe, she was better at listening to Remus, especially when he was telling her what he needed without saying the words. “You’re human. That rage, that anger, that lust for violence, it’s so incredibly human. What makes you remarkable is that you’ve managed to keep those lines intact because I can promise you that in your shoes I wouldn’t have. Most of us wouldn’t have been able to do that. I mean, have you met James and Sirius?” she asked. 

Rage circulated in her fists again, the half closed posture of them tightening until her fingernails dug harshly into her palm. Of all the people for Peter to hurt, Remus deserved it the least. It made her want to obliterate him from the map, and she’d be more scared of her rage if it wasn’t something she felt was so righteously justified. “He doesn’t get to take that or anything else from you Remus. I won’t let him keep taking things. If that means standing by your side to fight off the anger together then that’s what it takes, but he doesn’t get to take another damned thing from you,” she murmured, releasing her fists and letting out a breath.

.

Remus had spent a childhood in books, living a life of fantasy and dreaming of a life outside of the four walls of his home.  Of course he'd always preferred the regency romances to the World War II dramas, but it seemed his life was tending towards the later rather than the former.  He supposed the boy of ten would have been wildly excited, but now Remus almost longed for the relative quiet and boredom of his youth.  At least there, no one died, or if they did you could just flip the pages back to the beginning and start again.

It was even worse watching someone so dear to his heart have to put away so much more to become something of a general, a commander, to watch her sacrifice more and more for what often seemed like an unwinnable cause.  How he loved her.  It was almost impossible to fathom most times.  She had the world on her shoulders and she was still taking the time out to help him deal with his own grief and rage.  

"My life has always been full of impossible situations," Remus said softly, almost ruefully.  "And I still have managed most of them better than this one.  Or I'd like to think so.  But maybe I'm wrong."  He had always been one for self doubt, but now it seemed even more invasive, like it had become another voice in his head, calling him out at every moment. "Maybe you're right.  But at least then I might have been able to live with myself," he said, a heaviness in his voice that seemed so much older than it ought to be.  

Remus so wanted to believe her, to write off everything he felt as something wholly human, just other aspects of the varied human experience, but it was difficult.  Not when he'd so associated all of that with the wolf, when every time he'd had some flare of anger he could feel it growling at the back of his mind.  He found something of a smile, something vague and fleeting.  "Well, you're right about James and Sirius at least," he said softly.  "I've just tried so hard to make us separate.  I've needed that. So I can pretend...pretend I'm not capable of visiting that kind of violence on someone."  He let out a rueful laugh. "I've just been lying to myself the whole time, I suppose.  Another illusion dashed."

He glanced over at Lily and saw how her fists had clenched and sighed, reaching over and taking her hands, doing his best to unclench her fingers.  He could remind her that Peter had the ability to do so much more at the moment but didn't mention it.  She knew as well as he did. So instead he just sat a moment, his lips pursed and letting the heaviness of the moment weigh down deeper and deeper.  "I hope not," he said softly.  "But it's enough to know you're going to be here, regardless.  I promise it is.  I still have so much more than I ever thought I'd have."  He gave Lily a small smile.  "I've still got that to hold on to."

eleanor-malfoy​:

Eleanor smiled. “Oh, that’s great, I’m glad that you didn’t have to wait. Sometimes this place is packed, but it looks like the lunch rush must be starting to thin out,” she said as she glanced around the café again. She could feel her mood starting to lighten up again being away from the Ministry and the reminders of everything that had gone so wrong these past few days. For a moment it was like things were normal, weren’t so completely and totally messed up. She knew that it was going to grow difficult at the Ministry, but she was up for the task. 

She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m okay,” she said. She offered him a smile when he squeezed her wrist, appreciating that he cared about how she was doing now that the world was upside down. “For the most part. I’ll just…keep my head down, you know? I’m pretty good at that. I’ll just go and do my job, make sure I don’t ruffle too many feathers, and do whatever I can for Lily and everyone else,” she said. “Thank you. I will keep that in mind.”

She frowned. “How are you doing?” Eleanor asked. She bit down on her lip and hesitated for a moment. “I’m sorry…for what he did.” She paused. “Peter,” she clarified. It was so stupid, feeling responsible for a brother that never cared for her, but she couldn’t help it. “I know you were friends.” If anybody had a right to hate Peter it was Remus and the rest of his friends, but Eleanor could feel the rage at her brother simmering underneath the surface. 

.

Remus knew what a precarious position he was in now, since the new administration had made him a fugitive of the law in a single piece of legislation, but he felt for the people that still had to be cogs in that system. He knew there couldn't be all that much comfort for them out there, not when they had to put on a brave face at work.  Remus didn't know much about the other agents they had deep within Lestrange's administration, but he knew they were there, and that they walked a kind of tightrope every day.

Eleanor seemed to be poised to be walking that same tightrope, and he couldn't help but feel for her.  She seemed incredibly genuine, even in this small interaction he had with her, and he knew just how such things were rewarded by those in power.  "I think that's probably for the best," he said with a small smile.  "I just don't want you overextending yourself and getting yourself hurt.  I'm sure it's going to get hot for everyone, and we'd rather pull you out, regardless of all of the good you could be doing for us."  

Remus should have expected the return inquiry but it still surprised him, especially when Eleanor mentioned Peter.  He felt his expression darken by degrees, and no matter how he fought it, he could feel his spine stiffening and his fingers clenching.  "Yes, we were," he said shortly after a few moments.  "I..."  He stopped, pursing his lips before going on.  "There's really not much to say.  I saw a potential for darkness in him and I ignored it.  To everyone's peril."

thefoxevans​:

____

Truthfully, Lily wished the war had never gotten to this point. She would have been perfectly content if the only mischief in her life was that which was created by her own hand, or by her boys. However, that wasn’t the case, and she found herself not only fighting a war but leading one. It wasn’t the future she’d imagined for herself, but it was hers, and she would make the best of it. “I would believe that. The universe knew we would need each other to get through all of this. Merlin knows, it’s easier to be a revolutionary when there are more of them by your side,” she murmured. Grinning, she gave a soft hum, “Exactly, we’re so much more than a damned cliché.”

Lily had to wonder if Peter would throw them under the bus, or if he knew that there would be mutual destruction. They were unregistered animagus, the lot of them, aside from Remus who was a werewolf. If Peter outed them, Lily would ensure that he was dragged down with them. She would do whatever was necessary to ensure that if Peter ever sold them out in full, that he would go down in flames along side them. He would never reap the benefits of what he sowed, because Lily would not allow him to be a hypocrite too. If he was ever so bold as to out Remus, Lily would ruin him herself.

It was a bitter pill, knowing that she should have seen it, and probably had in some ways, and yet, actively avoided it. Lily hadn’t wanted to see it, so she hadn’t. They were a pack, a unit that functioned all on their own, and Lily wanted nothing to change or challenge that. Giving his hand a squeeze, she hummed, “I wish you hadn’t been either, but then it isn’t your fault that you were right. Even if you had told me, I don’t know if I could have wrapped my head around it fast enough for it to have mattered. I didn’t want to see it, anymore than you wanted it to be real,” she murmured. They had never wanted this to be their reality. 

Holding onto his face with gentle strength, she stayed just like that for a moment. She could see the anguish that Remus was trying to keep from spilling out, and she held him gently, as though she could help keep him together just by being there. What he had suffered so far wasn’t right; it wasn’t fair. It was far more than anyone deserved, especially someone like Remus. “Well I don’t blame you. Besides, James and Sirius wouldn’t have heard a word of it. I’d have heard you, but I can’t promise I’d have even listened, as much as I wish that weren’t true,” she admitted. It was hard to admit, but it was the truth. After resting her head against his for a moment, she pulled back and sat back in her chair a bit. Lily’s teeth clenched as she commented, “I never wanted to be capable of such a thing either, but then I think I always knew I could be. The right circumstances could drive me to that point, and if he threatens you? If he was a part of this particular plot? That’ll be the end of him.” Looking at him, Lily gave a soft hum, “I imagine that’s scary, having those lines blurred. You’re a good person though Remus, never doubt that.” 

.

Of all the things Remus had been forced to come to terms with over the course of his life, being at war was one of the easiest.  In many ways, he'd been at war all his life.  His very first memories had been of battle; pain and rage, broken skin and broken bones, splatters of blood across the ground and caked into his fingernails.  Remus Lupin was a war in some way, a constant struggle between separate but equal parts, fighting an endless battle that would destroy them both in the end.

It was harder to think of his friends there with him, but there was something to companionship, to battling away at a cause.  There was a depth to the bonds they had now, now that they were all so willing to put their lives on the line for each other.  "And how much better to die in all the happy period of undisillusioned youth, to go out in a blaze of light, than to have your body worn out and old illusions shattered," as Hemingway had said.

These things Remus had allowed, he had accounted for, but losing Peter in the spectacular way they had and with everything he could hold over all of them was the most heinous part of all of this.  And it all still felt like something that could have been prevented, if he'd just worked a little harder. In that one way, that one singular thing, he'd allowed his private idealism to take over his own common sense.  He could have been warning everyone, but he'd chosen to believe in the innate goodness of the people he'd chosen to love.

It was hard enough for him to deal with on his own, but even harder when he had to watch his friends live through the same betrayal.  As much as Lily kept telling him that it wasn't his fault, Remus knew it wholly was. Saying nothing made him guilty by default, doing nothing had allowed Peter to cause the ultimate amount of damage as he blazed his way through all of them.  "It is my fault," he said softly.  "I should have done something more, said something.  Even if no one had believed me, it would have had people thinking."   He sighed.  "Maybe you're right, but you can't know.  You can't know that it wouldn't have changed anything."  Remus was sure he'd be up playing what ifs for a very, very long time.

While Lily's tenderness with him was completely in character, he couldn't help but feel that he didn't deserve it, especially when he was sitting here admitting to a lust for cold blooded murder.  He shook his head, fists clenching and unclenching almost rhythmically in his lap.  "It's always been the one thing separating me from it, Lil.  That's it.  We share a pain, we share a longing, but that penchant for violence, the lust for it...that's the one thing that separates us.  If I start giving into it, what does that make me?  If I tear down all the walls between us, then what am I?"  He laughed, unamused.  "It makes me want to hurt him even more, for making me feel like this.  He really did find a way to take almost everything from me."

basthestrange​:

–

It felt like he was moving through a fog. He felt Remus’ soft touch on his face, his hands on his arms as he lead him to a chair, but he still seemed far away. He looked down at himself, at the small trails of blood that trickled down his arms. Nellie had attempted to clean him up – she nearly forced him to stay, really, in typical Nellie fashion – but he’d insisted that he wanted to go home and do it himself. After having cried out his whole body weight in tears on her shoulder, Bas just couldn’t put her through the strain of patching up his physical wounds. It made him feel exceptionally weak, even though he knew she wouldn’t see it that way. He still felt like he should be the one protecting her, not the other way around. 

Now, with Remus dabbing at his wounds, he couldn’t help but feel that same guilt he’d felt with Nellie come back to the surface. “You don’t have to, Remus,” he protested weakly. He hated feeling so helpless. Remus had aided him through plenty of rough transitions, both physically and mentally, and he was beginning to resent himself for it. It was seeming like he was failing everyone he was supposed to protect, broken down into a young boy again. He wanted to be strong. To have not cried in front of Nellie, to not be sitting here in shambles before his best friend. But he felt broken and his body felt like lead, so he didn’t move – aside from a small flinch here or there when Remus touched a particularly bad spot. 

His eyes remained trained on the floor, and he closed them when he felt the fresh prick of tears forming once more. “I did something really bad,” he whispered, his fists clenching. “I– I didn’t mean it, I didn’t want to. And the wolfsbane…I can still see it. I remember everything.” A tear escaped his eye and he quickly wiped it away, causing his arm to move from Remus’s grasp. His words probably sounded like crazy talk to Remus, who had no clue of the situation. 

He wasn’t supposed to tell, and he knew that. But it was Remus. His best friend, his closest ally. The only one who could truly understand Rabastan completely through and through. He wanted to tell him the whole thing, but something stopped him. It felt like he physically couldn’t get the words out. “Nel said it wasn’t my fault. Evan said it wasn’t my fault. But… I– feel like a monster. More than ever before.” Bas looked up at Remus, fists still clenched. “I’m a monster. I was aware, the potion– I could’ve tried harder to stop it…” he cut himself off, getting choked up on his own words.

.

Remus was someone who liked to process his emotions slowly and alone, far away from prying eyes so he could let whatever wanted to come out get out of him.  A purging of sorts.  He didn't know if it was because deep down he was more id than he thought or if that was something the wolf had done to him.  But at his core, his emotions tended to scare him, like they were a force beyond him, strong and powerful and capable of great destruction.

He didn't have the time to process now, feeling wave after wave of anger, fear, concern, love, rage flow through him over and over again, cascading one on top of the other and making his hands shake as he reached for the first aid kit.  "Not now," he told himself firmly, giving himself a severe look in the mirror, willing his hands to stop trembling and to blink the tears back from his eyes. His time could be later, he had more important things to do at present. Chief of them being ignoring the splatters of blood here and there across the bathroom.  

Remus Lupin could compartmentalize with the best of them, and by the time he made it back to Rabastan his hands were steady, his eyes were clear, and his voice only betrayed the gentlest of tremors.  "I do have to," he said, his voice soft and firm.  "You remember what I told you, when I first found out we were the same.  'You never have to suffer it alone again.'  And I mean it as much now as I did then," he said, speaking slowly and softly, working on patching up Rabastan methodically.  

He didn't press, he just bound up the hurts, whispered a few spells over the ones that needed a bit more than antiseptic and tied up the magical gauze neatly.  If he focused hard enough on that, everything else faded away.  Or nearly did, until he heard Bas start to speak again.  He saw how his gaze stayed focused to the floor, and saw the tears gathering in his eyes.  He frowned as he pulled away and let out a sigh. "I know," he said softly, reaching for Bas again, tilting his chin up to meet his gaze.  "You have no control when the wolf takes over.  Anything that happened is a tragedy, of course, and you'll have to deal with it, but none of it is your fault.  Not a single solitary moment of it."

Remus felt his heart fall down into his stomach when Rabastan went on, feeling a bit like some part of him had shattered when Bas said he remembered all of it.  There would have been some mercy if he hadn't and already his gears were working.  Remus had never tried wolfsbane himself, he hadn't needed to.  He always had the pack and the vague memories of running in dense woods, chasing rabbits.  But he knew about it, knew what it was  meant to do.  Then how...

The rage had been hiding under the grief, but it started to surface again and for a moment he felt one of his hands tighten on Rabastan's wrist before he remembered himself and pulled back. "No.  That..it's impossible.  If you had the potion you should have retained control.  Something was wrong with it, there must have..."  It was dawning slowly, like someone was pulling the wool out from over his eyes, but Remus tended to jump to the correct conclusions faster than those around him.  "I know you, Bas," he said a few moments later, his voice more sure, a bit of steel in his voice now.  "You would have stopped it if it were possible.  So the only option is that it wasn't.  Not for you, and not for anyone else that I'm reading about in the papers.  Someone did this to you, and they are the monsters, not you."  He gave Bas his best approximation of a smile.  "We might have monsters inside of us, but we do everything right to keep them from harming people.  We always have, right?  The failure isn't yours."  Remus felt his lips trip over his next words, and perhaps he should have mulled them over better, but it was too late.  "Whatever blood is on your hands, it doesn't belong to you.  It belongs to whoever is behind this.  Whatever this was."   He could mull out the details later, now he just looked over his friend, feeling like he could feel every splintered piece of his heart stabbing through his skin.  

"You know me.  You know that Nellie and Evan can't understand in the same ways I can.  I feel like a monster more than you know.  So please believe me when I tell you that's not who you are.  The things we can't control don't define us.  This doesn't define you.  If you really were a monster, you wouldn't be here mourning what happened." He lifted one hand and gently squeezed the back of his neck.  "Please.  There's enough pain to go around without worrying about hating yourself for it." 

thea-ssassin​:

Thea regarded him, her eyes flicking down to the glass in his hand and then back up to him. “Well hopefully if you drink enough, you won’t be able to speak,” she uttered, although a swirk twisted her lips, a sign to show she wasn’t being as brutal as she sounded. Not that it wasn’t out of character for her. “I’m beginning to agree with you,” she told him.

“I suspect it looks much like the evolution of man, except in reverse; from contentment to misery - the worse the posture, the closer to the fetal misery,” she thought aloud, actually amused by the idea. The brunette pursed her lips, a smirk and a quirked brow meeting her features. She shrugged her shoulders. “Just call me altruistic,” she joked. As if the latter wouldn’t benefit her. Theseus finished her drink and ordered another, as she did so, she glanced to her target, still firmly sat with company, no indication of leaving soon. “I think it depends on the person and the type of alcohol,” she said. “A rum and coke will have you dancing, whiskey alone with the smiths playing in the background… a recipe for disaster,”

.

Remus couldn't help the real genuine laugh that came out of him at that moment, the sound rolling through him as he looked over at his companion. "There is always that, isn't there?" he said.  "I suppose that I hope for that too.  Sounds rather blissful, no more screaming into the void, as it were."  He took another sip of his drink and shrugged.  "I'm generally right about things.  Especially things that are just a tad too cynical."

He grinned as he went on, looking over his companion again and humming softly under his breath. "Altruism, is it?  That's something you don't see very much of these days. I don't think I recognize it when I see it."  Remus felt strangely amused despite himself and the fact that he was here drinking away his own misery.  He rarely found anyone that would reach his level when it came to verbal sparring, but here she was.  Remus couldn't help but wonder what she was really here for, since it couldn't be to spend time with him, nor did she look like someone drowning her own misery.  But he also didn't want to ask, didn't want to draw this to a close before too much longer. "Is that your way of saying I should switch to rum?  I think I can manage, it's not too late."  He looked over the woman next to him again and gave her a small smile.  "So, since we seem to be embarking on an evening together, what can I call you?"

spencerblackwood​:

Sirius, throwing his head into Remus' lap and looking up: Moony, tell me I'm pretty.

Remus, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

eleanor-malfoy​:

Eleanor nodded her head. “It’s one of my favorite places to go around here. I get take out from there all the time and bring it back to my desk when I have to work through lunch. Which is often,” Eleanor admitted with a shrug. It often felt like if you weren’t working through lunch than you were a slacker. Unless you were one of the chosen ones, it seemed, and they were usually inept at their jobs and unable to do much of anything anyways. She nodded her head. “It’s something, that’s for sure,” she said, shaking her head. In another world Eleanor would have seen nepotism as perfectly valid she was sure, but she was proud of herself for no longer looking at things that way. She had woken up to the bullshit that her family spewed and she was proud of herself for all of it. “Definitely. That would be amazing, actually, I usually just get a Greek salad. I will be there in fifteen,” she promised him. “See you in a few.”

She watched him go and then turned and went down to her office, taking the lift to her floor, she dropped the papers off on her bosses desk, clocked out for lunch and grabbed her bag and her coat, pulling it on, she rushed from the Ministry. She didn’t quite know how to feel about it now that Rodolphus had won. She had always been so proud of herself for what she had accomplished but now she found herself worrying about the future and more specifically her future. She knew that there were many on the Wizengamot that were in support of the Order, but what if Rodolphus got rid of them? Where would that leave her? She didn’t know and she didn’t want to think about it too much. It left a pit in her stomach that she couldn’t seem to unlodge. 

But Eleanor put a smile on her face when she saw Remus sitting at one of the tables and she waved and then quickly walked over. “It’s so cold out,” she said with a laugh as she put her bag down and took her coat off. “Did you have to wait long for a table?” She asked worriedly as she took her seat across from him.

.

Remus committed Eleanor's honestly quite simple order and with a nod and a small word of affirmation headed off.  It was a relief to be heading out of the building now, though it took longer than it ought to have, since he kept feeling like he was better off not being in view.  He could breathe much easier now that he was out in the world again.  He knew deep down that there was a very small chance anyone would look at him and know exactly what he was, but he couldn't help but worry anyway.

Still, he couldn't completely relax, even when he'd made it to the café Eleanor mentioned.  It was close to the Ministry, and he could recognize a few other employees here or there, people he'd passed in the halls, old faces from Hogwarts days.  It was easy enough to get a table, though, one in a farther corner of the room and Remus even managed to order before Eleanor arrived. He offered her a lopsided smile and shook his head.

"No didn't have much of a wait, even got to order. I guess the lunch rush is ending," he said, making a subtle gesture with his wand under the table, giving them another layer of privacy.  "And I would think it's much colder inside.  Are you really doing okay?  Now that we can speak more freely.  It can't be easy now."  He reached across the table and squeezed her wrist briefly. "If you ever need an out, we can make one for you."

shacklxbolt​:

A brightness seemed to flash in her eyes, one that those who knew her, knew her well or knew her at least a little, would recognise. It was an echo of the fiery Suri who hadn’t ever second guessed herself and her livelihood. Pre-Azkaban. Bags that looked like bruises sat beneath her eyes, evidence that she hadn’t been sleeping well, even with the two shades too light concealer she’d tried to cover them. But that brightness, it was familiar, and perhaps a promise that things could get back to normal, or at least as close to normal as they could after the nightmare.

“I’ll never say no to a tin of biscuits,” she said brightly. Her demeanor shifting. It was a little thing. So little. But the little things were the things Suri missed. And focusing on little things was all Suri could do right now. Because big things well, they were too big for her to contemplate just yet. Moving, she placed her mug down on the side, careful to put it on the coaster provided, although it hung off the edge. “What type are they?” she asked with a small smile.

“And will you join me for one, or three?” she asked. 

.

For all that Remus had learned to survive by reading people, he honestly wasn't all that good at interacting when it came down to it.  It was different with the Marauders and Rabastan, they had this shared history by now.  But everyone else left him at a bit of a loss, especially such a powerhouse like Suri Shacklebolt.  

But he supposed he hadn't made a complete fool of himself if Suri was smiling at him like that and he gave her a lopsided smile in return.  She looked completely worse for wear, but there was a spirit behind her words that Remus found comforting. If she could come back from what she'd been through, maybe there was hope for the rest of them.

"I brought several kinds, actually, I wasn't sure what you'd like best," Remus said with a small smile, setting the bags down and trying to pull things out.  "Chocolate, of course, my favorite. but also some jammie dodgers, jaffa cakes, shortbread.  I went a little overboard, honestly," he said and wrinkled his nose.  He was almost surprised at the invitation, and nodded.  "Sure, I've got nowhere to rush off to. And I've also got fresh tea, so I think we might be set."  He gave her a lopsided smile and leaned against the counter. "How's safe house life?"