tammy / @crossfyre: mentions qo.ts me: instantly brought back from the dead

I took flying lessons when I was in Europe.

CROSSFYRE.

she’s horrified ,  he can feel it —– every time she stopped to stare in fear , james felt his own hands suddenly become drenched with blood ,  oozing a deep red liquid that should be kept a secret .   the cartel called it treasure ,  the military called it a curse .   he had left people behind so many times that he began to forget about the blood that stained his hands , portraying its deadly beautiful shades of crimson . ❝   you get used to it .  ❞   he never got used to it ,   not really —–  nobody can ever truly be this used to something so bloody when the bloodshed was your own .   at some point ,   the human part of you loses …  ❝   you’ve got no choice .  ❞   it has to .

SHE CAN SEE SPECS OF HIS HUMANITY    shining through the tough facade he masterfully maintains.    a part of teresa admires him,   his quiet strength,   while the other can’t even look at him           that part of her is overcome with a quiet yet raging sense of disgust & so she turns,   dark locks cascading down the side of her face,   successfully blocking him from her view.    

she can barely recognise herself in the mirror anymore.    the woman she’s faced with is no longer the simple money changer from sinaloa,   but a MURDERER.    teresa mendoza is a murdering drug mule with a body count of       GOD,    she’s lost count.    she doesn’t want to think about just how many lives james has taken,   just how blood-soaked his hands have been.       ❝   how long did it take you ?                   to get used to it ?   ❞        the ‘ used ’ is practically spat out,   contained anger carefully soaking each and every word as they leave her lips.    teresa is looking at him now,   dark gaze meeting his directly.

❝   JUST BECAUSE I’M ALONE    doesn’t mean you have to be too.   ❞

OPEN STARTER   /   mutuals only.

she’s been writing for minutes now :/

LIKE FOR A STARTER.     some of these may be canon lines,   as i’m still figuring out teresa’s voice.

“I think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. We are good people and we’ve suffered enough.”

— Seventy Years of Sleep # 4. nikka ursula (n.t)

i ♥ teresa mendoza meme | five favorite looks ↳ [1/5] Teresa’s gold jumpsuit in 1x01 Piloto

LIKE FOR A STARTER.     some of these may be canon lines,   as i’m still figuring out teresa’s voice.

❝ you are the warmest home i will ever, ever find. ❞

IS THIS WHAT PLEASANT SHOCK FEELS LIKE?    the words are uttered so softly she wonders if perhaps he thought she was asleep.    being so brash as to let such an honest statement slip seemed unlike him,   but as teresa has recently realised,   there are more parts to james than what meets the eye.    perhaps he hadn’t meant for her to hear him                BUT SHE DID.

the time of running away from this   ( from him & the multitude of feelings he evokes deep in her )   has passed.    it’s time to face it head on.   so she shifts,   turning to meet his gaze in the darkness of the bedroom.    she can hear her heartbeat now,   can feel its uncomfortable thud against her ribcage,   and it is a pleasant reminder that this is REAL.

❝                          te amo.   ❞        the words are whispered,   laced with sincerity,   and a soft smile tugs at the corners of her lips.        ❝   te amo mucho.   ❞

POETRY SENTENCE STARTERS   /   accepting.

SHORT STORIES, my favorite kind of poetry ( meme ).

SIX WORDS .

❝ i heard you were doing good. ❞ ❝ you don’t grow your horns overnight. ❞ ❝ i promise, it gets better eventually. ❞ ❝ & we never talked after that. ❞ ❝ am i really, truly, that unlovable? ❞ ❝ don’t talk like you’re coming back. ❞ ❝ my most dangerous habit is trusting. ❞ ❝ we’re made of stars & stories. ❞ ❝ you didn’t have to do that. ❞ ❝ everything is poetry when you’re drunk. ❞ ❝ did i mean anything to you? ❞ ❝ real feelings don’t just go away. ❞ ❝ you came & changed the weather. ❞ ❝ when can you just be mine? ❞ ❝ there was no love, only lust. ❞ ❝ darling, stop wishing on dead stars. ❞ ❝ art is another form of screaming. ❞ ❝ silence is the most painful goodbye. ❞ ❝ what the fuck did you do? ❞ ❝ i’m drunk, dizzy & missing you. ❞ ❝ kiss me like you’re losing me. ❞ ❝ i don’t feel like smiling today. ❞ ❝ not all good people are innocent. ❞ ❝ we’re a disaster in the making. ❞ ❝ some things are better left unsaid. ❞ ❝ we really should’ve talked about it. ❞ ❝ i’m so glad i met you. ❞ ❝ i wish i knew you earlier. ❞ ❝ i fucked (pronoun/name) to our song. ❞ ❝ i dreamed of you this night. ❞

TEN WORDS .

❝ you saw the messed up parts of me, & stayed. ❞ ❝ all i’ve ever wanted was for someone to save me. ❞ ❝ since you left, i have no one to talk to. ❞ ❝ i apologize for the nights in which i cannot breathe. ❞ ❝ everytime i look at you, i want to kiss you. ❞ ❝ we said no strings attached but now we’re in knots. ❞ ❝ there’s a difference between missing someone & missing having someone. ❞ ❝ for which f are you drinking? fuck, forget, or fun? ❞ ❝ my biggest mistake was thinking i could live without (pronoun/name). ❞ ❝ whenever (name/pronoun) rose to kiss me, i fell even more. ❞ ❝ i wish that ‘goodnight’ was followed by ‘i love you’. ❞ ❝ let’s smoke a pack of mentholds & talk about love. ❞ ❝ your deep, sleepy voice makes me feel like i’m okay. ❞ ❝ i read both of our horoscopes looking for an answer ❞ ❝ reality is the absolute last place i want to be. ❞ ❝ i didn’t expect that drunk kiss could mean this much. ❞ ❝ all i need is a late night drive with you. ❞ ❝ feeling pain is nowhere near as terrifying as feeling nothing. ❞ ❝ your eyes are the color of summer fading into autumn. ❞ ❝ you are the warmest home i will ever, ever find. ❞ ❝ the world is less scary when i am with you. ❞ ❝ i still can’t tell which of us was the victim. ❞ ❝ i just need an excuse to hang out with you. ❞ ❝ your expectations for me have been set way too high. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to feel this way about anyone else. ❞

Teach me how to use this.

friendly reminder that teresa had six months to convince herself she’d never see james again so that when he popped up in malta her first instict was to run in the opposite direction because oh god he’s here to finish me off

CHARACTER INTERVIEW.

repost, don’t reblog.

NAME  :   teresa mendoza. NICKNAME  :   tere, teresita. AGE  :   assumed to be 26/27 when she meets guero, 28 during season one and two & 29 around the start of season three. SPECIES  :   human.

personal.

MORALITY  :   lawful  /  neutral  /  chaotic  /  good  / neutral  /  evil  /  true RELIGIOUS BELIEF  :   christian. SINS  :   greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  /  lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath VIRTUES  :   chastity  /  charity  /  diligence  /  humility  /  kindness  /  patience  /  justice PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE  :   survival. to build up her empire and become a better leader than camila. to build a good life for tony, and in turn honour brenda, his deceased mother. LANGUAGES KNOWN  :   spanish and english, the latter of which she speaks with a faint spanish accent. SECRETS  :   the book. tony. her heart. SAVVIES  :   she’s incredibly smart with numbers. after years of working as a money changer, she can also spot the difference between a fake dollar bill and a real one.

physical.

BUILD  :   scrawny  /  bony  /  slender  /  fit  /  athletic  /  curvy  /  herculean  /  soft  /  average HEIGHT  :   1.67 m. SCARS / BIRTHMARKS  :   scar on her head. scar from bullet wound on her left thigh. ABILITIES / POWERS  :   she’s pretty decent with a gun for a woman who’s never had any real weapons training. RESTRICTIONS  :   she’s only 1.63m tall, and as such has shorter legs which means she runs slower than people who tower over her at 1.80m. while working as a drug mule for camila in texas, she also sleeps and eats less than usual, which in turn makes her lose weight.

favourites.

FOOD  :   anything pote makes. DRINK  :   water  /  coffee  /  lemonade  /  alcohol  /  whiskey  /  beer  /  milk PIZZA TOPPING  :   anything spicy.  COLOUR  :   earth tones as teresa. white as the queen of the south. MUSIC GENRE  :   everything. BOOK GENRE  :   she doesn’t read much anymore, but while working as a money changer in sinaloa she enjoyed romance novels. they were so distant from her own life and offered an escape from reality. MOVIE GENRE  :   drama or romantic comedies. SEASON  :   summer. CURSE WORD  :   having been raised by a strict christian grandmother, teresa doesn’t curse much. it feels wrong on the tongue. SCENT(S)  :   sandalwood and dried blood.

fun stuff.

BOTTOM OR TOP  :   both. SINGS IN THE SHOWER  :   when she lived with guero, yes, but not anymore. LIKES BAD PUNS  :   they’re not her favourite, but she can appreciate a good one.

TAGGED BY  :   snatched it from an old blog of mine. TAGGING  :    @crossfyre, @epochic (whichever muse you want!), @redarrovv & whoever wants to.

Dear god, sleepy intimacy makes me so very happy.

One person sleeping with their head on the other person’s lap. Getting all drowsy-snuggly when they’re too tired to see straight. Being tucked in and kissed on the forehead before they pass out. Gentle touches while they drift off. Trusting the other person to watch over them and make sure nothing happens to them while they’re out.

Just… sleepy intimacy, man.