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Blue Lamp Writing
Short stories and poems by Louis Lysander.
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Don’t introduce me to your parents unless you plan on marrying me bc they’re going to love me & ask about me for the rest of your life lol
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Small Situational (Non-romantic) Soulmates
Sometimes you find a soulmate in the seat behind you in a
class you're afraid of
She compliments your hat
The next day you find yourselves chatting about your majors
and you admit you're only here because you can't handle a
real science
She sits next to you and shares her notes and you know you
were meant to meet her
Sometimes you find a soulmate on a late night at a
campground
You tell him ghost stories
He shares his marshmallows and graham crackers and it
amazes you that he drove from so far away just to camp at
this particular river
You write to him and find him on Facebook and you know
you were meant to meet
Sometimes you find a soulmate the first day of college
They catch your eye in the common room of your new dorm
You grin at them and a few weeks later you trade around
roommates so the two of you can live together and they fill your
cabinet with thirty kinds of tea
They move back to their home state and you know that it's
where you were meant to go too
#poetry#free verse#somtimes you just feel like you were meant to meet someone#in a non-romantic sense#but also i'm fucking gay so idk
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Sensory Recall pt. 1
Wine
Early childhood in church
Altar boy, alto in the choir
Older family chuckles “he hates it”
“We have nothing to worry about”
Eggnog
Christmas at home
Jesus save me
I don’t even like eggnog
But I need to cry over my ex again
Rum
My parents are out
And I finally act like the trashy teenager
I always resist being
And sitting drunk on my bathroom floor
I tell you how cool I think you are
I think I also cry again
Cider
The rooftop of a run-down once-sorority
We listen to the distant booming
Of the punk concert in the basement below
College kids reading Marx and not changing our socks
There isn’t a damn thing I regret
Schnapps
Two AM and he asks
If we want to go to the beach in the morning
I don’t remember saying yes
But I remember the salt water
Replacing all the sweet poison
Vodka
It’s just a jump to the left
And then a step to the riiiiiight
Put your hands on your hips
And bring your knees in tiiiiiight
Rosé
Sometimes the best way to avoid a hangover
Is to just keep on drinking the next morning
Or maybe I really convinced myself
That Rosé goes with eggs
Tequila
The sweet pine trees and waterfalls
Just east of Portland, Oregon
The starry night and campfire
Make me dangerously at peace
Maybe I will never leave this place
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You tell me to meet you at the motel
The pink shack where we first met
I can still smell the tequila we spilled
Storms coming but the power’s not out yet
The desert smells like the letter I got last week
Your words in my head are the only thing louder than my bike
Howling coyotes and a buzzing sign
I know I’ll find you because this is the life you like
Night time one hundred degrees
And the red rock dust is making a mess
I’ll see you this time tomorrow
Because there’s a neon sign by the road that says
“I woke up wanting to kiss you,
I know you want to find me too
A month ago I started to miss you
I’m at the Cupid Motel please find me soon”
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I don’t have a dark side
I am unbearable light
Every time the dice shows your number up
As it is rolling, before you lose
Every drop of water you won’t touch
Because you grabbed the cactus too greedily
Every splash of red hot sunrise
That you slept through
The rare bird you didn’t see because you looked left
Didn’t matter as long as the left side showed you the perfect rising moon
But I matter, because I am neither
I am the rattlesnake on the trail ahead
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Tired Eyes
Let's stay up and talk about philosophy
The stars and the scars and other things that make you think of me
Let's watch another movie and re-listen to the soundtrack
Walk around the block and only go home when it gets black
You know I love when you laugh at my dumb jokes
But it's even better to share a silent smile somewhere in the back rows
Watch one more movie till you're asleep on my shoulder
And sleep in all day when the mornings get colder
Smile for me with your tired eyes
Let's get the next plane 'cause you know how time flies
Let's see the world and sleep curled in a tent out somewhere
Adventure's waiting staying here wouldn't be fair
Space is a pretty cool thing don't you think dear?
The sky is cold but from the roof it's still clear
Love me like we're never gonna run out of time
Because you know I'm with you buddy to the end of the line
It's true we could stay on a rooftop all night
But we could also go to bed and I'd be out like a night-light
Someone is always asleep by the last whisper of "I love you"
So what the hell let's stargaze with enough caffeine for two
Smile for me with your tired eyes
Let's get the next plane 'cause you know how time flies
Let's see the world and sleep curled in a tent out somewhere
Adventure's waiting staying here wouldn't be fair
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I Call This One “My Brain Makes It Hard To Express Feelings”
please let me just get angry about something
let me punch a motherfucker right in the face
let me get anxious and cry about something
because i bottle this up too much
next time maybe i’ll just throw my laptop
or flip my chair and walk out
i’m going to yell at somebody soon maybe
or shave my head or dunk myself in ice water
maybe over the holidays i’ll take some time to cry
and write a fucking sad song about it
i’ll buy some cheap piece of furniture
and then smash it in a parking lot
i’m going to kick a tree
i’m going to push a rude person down on the stairs
i’m going to find a nice quiet place to scream
i’m going to let everything go at last
too much calm has become too much of a good thing
and i might snap eventually
and when i do i don’t want to take it out wrong
i can’t ever, ever, ever, ever hurt you
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Words are hard to find
Hot skin beside a fireplace, prickling
Lying on hard wood, full of ache
But why should you move
When this is the best you’ve ever felt
or
Rolling down a hill on a summer day
There are rocks and thorns and the world is spinning so fast
But god, this is fun, this is beautiful
At least you are alive
or
Finding a stone and it calls to you
There are scratches and cracks
But you put it in your pocket
Because it makes you feel special
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People do not love you
People lust after you
You wear unintentional glamour, you are
Transformed inches above your skin
Into a holy creature that makes strangers weak in the knees
But under the mirage there are only feathers, jagged and brittle
That crumble under my touch
I don’t feel jealousy because watching people chase you
Is like watching erotica artists sexualize a crow
Because they see only silky plumage and mysterious dark eyes
And remove themselves from the knowledge that the crow is a scavenger
People don’t like to associate Death and Sex
They are projecting what they want to see, sexualizing a bird
That only I have seen transform into a man
To most people you can only be one of two things
Some-thing associated with death and some-thing fuckable
You cannot be both
And so no one is sure how to love you
But the secret is:
Not to look at you as a thing.
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Photo
It’s pretty cool when you try new positions and stumble upon a lightning effect.
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The interstate roars in lines of red and white light,
close enough to count the cars if they froze in place.
Summer is coming,
Coming at me faster than I can catch with bare hands.
The lines of red and white,
Graduation hats fluttering in the air.
The howl of the semitrucks passing my house in the night
is as synonimous with summer freedom
as cricket song.
Warm April winds carry blossoms to scatter all over our steps,
specks of red and white,
and pink like a nose stuffed with allergies.
I can't look away.
Interstate 5 booms to me that California,
Eugene, Portland, that Washington,
are all waiting for me.
Just get in the car.
The red car with the blinding white windshield in the morning sun.
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After a few cloudy nights in a row, the last wisps finally all cleared on the night of a new moon. It was warm and perfect and neither Cory nor I had to work, so the decision to leave the city in his Subaru took all of one sentence. We looked up at the sky and I said,
"Too much light pollution."
We drove along the Greensprings Highway with Here I Go Again by Whitesnake playing, without speaking. I rolled down the window and let the wind mess my hair up. We pulled up the road to the reservoir and drove along the edge to the dock. I turned up the song before getting out, so we could still hear it while standing outside.
The sky was magnificent. The Milky Way blazed from horizon to horizon more clearly defined than I had ever seen it. It looked like a photograph from a scientific magazine. We walked out to the end of the dock and just stared up and up until our necks started to hurt. We were too far from the car to hear any more of the Whitesnake album, but we didn't mind.
"Want to go swimming?" I asked.
"I didn't bring my trunks though."
"We can skinny dip."
I couldn't tell in the dim light what he thought of the idea, but he agreed and started to strip down. I unbuttoned my shirt, trying not to watch him.
Don't be so gay, Alex.
As soon as we were naked he took a running start and jumped into the lake. I crouched and watched him paddle around. I shivered a little now that I was exposed to the breeze, but couldn't get in just yet.
"Any weeds?" I asked. He swam in a wide circle and even dove down in a few places.
"No, it's completely clear," he told me. I smiled and backed up.
"Then here goes!" I ran off the edge of the dock, causing an enormous splash. I probably got our clothes wet but I didn't care. We laughed, because that was what Cory and I did.
The water was warm, in that pleasant, deceiving way that you enjoy until you have to get out again. I dipped my head back under and pulled my hair back as I came up. Sure enough I couldn't feel a single strand of plant life in the water and took a deep relaxed breath. I was doing it, I was getting a grip on my phobia, and it felt good.
Cory was floating on his back, watching the stars again.
"Think there are aliens out there?"
"Probably."
"Probably. Yeah."
We swam around a while but didn't go too far from the dock. We eventually got out, and predictably started to shiver. We got dressed and sat on the warm hood of the car. We both took a deep, calm sigh.
"Above us only stars. Below us only stars. To all sides only stars. Inside us, only stars," I recited aloud.
"Another poem of yours?"
"It's from Night Vale."
He nodded. "I like it."
I slid off the car hood and stood in front of him. He sat up and we just sort of faced each other, smiling. His eyes were glittering like he was about to laugh again. I leaned forward with a mischevious smile that I couldn't explain and couldn't hold in. He stopped laughing and his eyes widened a little as we both realized what I was about to do. Then I kissed him, and stopped watching his expression. It was a closed-lip, innocent kiss. When I leaned away again he was blushing. Drips of lake water ran down his temples. I brushed them away then pulled his face toward me again. We kissed again and I could taste the lake on him.
Inside us there were only stars.
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Ode to the audience
Ode to applause
Ode to perfection
And ode to the flaws
Ode to the feeling
Of burning spotlights
And ode to the mocking
Of dangerous fights
Ode to the hush
Of the first monologue
And ode to the mystery
Of the synthetic fog
Ode to the warriors
The fools, and the kings
Ode to the theater
For giving us wings
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There was a man in a boring gray suit and a woman in a boring fur coat. Fur coats are not usually boring things, but if anyone could make one boring, she could. There was gunfire just around the corner, and the man and the woman waited patiently, as though waiting for a stoplight to change, before crossing in front of the alleyway and continuing their walk. They did not look at the boy on the ground or the boy with the gun. They looked at the sign at the end of the block that announced the opening of a new bank. They were excited, and they were not any less boring.
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