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moodcrab · 27 days

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Based and Shalidor-pilled

#skyrim #elder scrolls memes #skyrim memes #elder scrolls #elder scrolls morrowind #elder scrolls oc #oblivion #truestl #tes6 #morrowind #tes 5 skyrim #tes 6 #tes lore #tes 5 #tes #the elder scrolls 6 #the elder scolls online

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moodcrab · 2 months

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Fixing Skyrim's Daedric Quests

Part II - Clavicus Vile

Honestly this was the most underwhelming Daedric Quest in Skyrim, but Skyrim is by no means unique in this as it's just the most recent in a long line of underwhelming Clavicus Vile quests in the Elder Scrolls franchise. Vile, the god of wishes, deals and dodgy monkey palm style tricks forms a natural counterpart to the Divine Zenithar, god of honest work and trade, but for some reason there isn't a Vile quest that isn't "Go to dungeon and kill X". Skyrim, to its credit, tried to make it interesting with Barbas, but still resorted to "go to this cave and kill this guy."

The whole story of Sebastian, the mage who wished for a lycanthropy cure for his daughter only for Vile to grant him an axe, is a truly boring misunderstanding of what Vile is all about. An axe isn't a cure, not even in an ironic double meaning of the word cure. Any axe, indeed any weapon or spell, can kill a werewolf, but he didn't wish for his daughter to be killed, something he could easily do without making a deal with the devil. There are several ways to cure lycanthropy in Tamriel, death is not one of them. If you have cancer but you die in a car accident you are not cured of cancer, literally the opposite in fact. This isn't a mind bending M Night plot twist, it's bullshit. Not only is a dead werewolf not a cured one, he didn't wish for his daughter to be killed, so there's nothing stopping him from just throwing the axe in the sea and going to find a Glenmoril Witch. Vile gains nothing from this arrangement, and Vile doesn't enter into arrangements that don't benefit him.

A true Vile wish would have cured the lycanthropy in such a way that causes unforeseen consequences that end up killing the daughter, dooming her soul to The Fields of Regret, his realm of Oblivion. The wish would be technically granted, but it backfired horribly. The only thing remotely Clavicus Vile-ish was the big "rug pull" at the end of the quest where he offers you the axe if you kill Barbas, and like, no. No thanks. I have access to better axes, I'm not killing a dog for this *two handed 🤮* one. I never wanted this axe, there is no reason in the quest to even use the axe yourself let alone grow attached to it, unlike Barbas who has now accompanied me all through the quest. This isn't a choice.

Quest: Best Wishes

The quest opener is being moved from Falkreath to Morthal, because vanilla Morthal has no general store. Well, now it does. Compared to all the other stores you visit it will have a unique look, very mysterious and quirky with oddities on the shelves, and the owner will be an eccentric character with a cute dog. For the quest to activate you must have traded at the store a few times and reached a level. On entering, the owner will be distraught and refuse to trade unless you agree to find his dog who has gone missing.

You go on a bit of a dog hunt. Asking around Morthal gets you little useful information. In fact, if you ask certain people, they will say some curious things; like they have no idea who you're talking about, or that there isn't a general store in Morthal at all, "Oh that old place? That closed down when I was a child after old man whatever died"...

You eventually track the dog down outside the city and, surprise, it talks! Barbas explains the situation, that he is the somewhat loyal side kick of Clavicus Vile, who has an offer for you. He also makes it clear, this offer is an invitation only, you would walk away right now if you were wise. Assuming you aren't a pussy, you of course return Barbas to the shop and hear the offer.

The shopkeeper transforms into Vile, in all his jovial Skaafin glory. He tells you about a wish he has recently received, one that he would like your help in granting. There's this would be merchant in the city of Whiterun named Ysolda, who you have likely already met as she is a very popular wifu, she has been a devout Zenithar worshipper for years, but has become impatient with waiting for her hard work to pay off. She really wants to be a trader, and has prayed to Vile to make it so. If you agree to take care of it for him, he will reward you. As Barbas has recommended, you can quit the quest right now. Or...

You head to Whiterun and start investigating Ysolda. It's up to you how the wish gets granted, depending on what you discover about her:

1. She would like to buy the Bannered Mare of her friend Hulda, who isn't ready to sell. So you could ruin the business to make Hulda desperate to sell, but Ysolda would get a ruined inn. Or you could forge Hulda's will and stage an "accident", so Ysolda inherits the inn at the expense of her friend's life.

2. She has done some work with the Khajiit caravans, learning what she can about mercantile skills, but expressing how hard and horrible their lifestyle sounds. Investigating this will lead you to a secret meeting between Ysolda and an Orc. The Orc hands Ysolda a "the goods" but Ysolda complains there isn't enough. The Orc explains how dangerous getting it is. Ysolda doesn't care, she tells him he needs to go get more. If you follow the Orc to Sleeping Tree Camp you'll witness his death at the hands of the giants there. On his body there is an incriminating note, which you could show to the Whiterun guard captain, who will banish her from the city as punishment. Ysolda will spend the rest of her days with the Khajiit caravan, living as a vagrant and exiled from her home, but a trader, just as she wished.

3. As Barbas, who will accompany you, advises, you could warn Ysolda and break your side of the bargain. She believes your story (how else could you have known about the wish?), but depending on your speechcraft and personality attribute - because a fixed Skyrim would obviously have attributes - you either strike the right amount of fear into her that she flees to the temple to seek sanctuary, or you miss your mark and she decides to go check out this shop in Morthal for herself. When she gets there Vile will reluctantly let her take over the store, but if Ysolda repents she will one day become a Priestess of Zenithar, and convert the shop into a fledgling temple.

Just Deserts

When you return to the general store in Morthal it will have transformed into an abandoned ruin.

Any outcome of options one or two will please Vile, he will award you his Masque which will be light or heavy armoured dependant on which skill is higher for you and it will have a powerful speechcraft, personality and price discount enchantment. You also have the opportunity later on to take over and run the shop yourself.

If Ysolda comes to Morthal to take over the store, Vile will be annoyed at you and Barbas for being boring, but will accept that the wish is technically granted and Ysolda, now his devotee, will be spending her afterlife in his realm. You get the Masque but she gets the store ( unless you marry her...)

If you break your deal and save Ysolda, you get a curse; permanent debuffs to speechcraft, personality and prices. The cost of being a hero is high, especially when it comes to the Daedra. (Maybe Ysolda can lift the curse once her temple is up and running, but that will be a while).

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moodcrab · 3 months

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Fixing Skyrim's Daedric Quests

Introduction

Unlike my Oblivion character - a mere mortal who stumbled upon a shrine while lost in the wilderness, becomes somewhat obsessed with gaining the level requirement and collecting an offering, then undertakes the quest feeling like a dark god is testing their worthiness to be their champion - The Last Dragonborn has Daedric Princes falling over themselves to make them their champion straight out the gate. Level one? Who cares! No offering? No problem! Not my Summoning Day? We haven't cared about that since Morrowind! Literally told me to go fuck myself? Take the prize anyway Champ you've earned it!

Basically, much like factions, Skyrim shoves nearly all of the Daedric Quests in the player's face as soon as possible because they're widely considered to be the best and most rewarding by fans of the previous games. But the older games had them, to varying degrees, hidden away or locked behind mechanics, and Bethesda didn't want newer, more casual fans to miss them. In doing so the Princes and their cults lose that air of mystery and danger they once had.

On the other hand, it was nice to be doing something else entirely then have a surprise Daedric Quests blind side me, and it's not like the old Oblivion way was perfect. Find shrine, give offering, get quest for EVERY Prince? And just one quest and I'm the champion, dedicated my soul to your afterlife and all that jazz?

This series is going to try to maximise the good parts of Skyrim Daedric Quests, while bringing back some of the classic elements that it left out, starting with...

Part I - Namria

Quest A) A Taste of Death.

If you visit the Treasury House in Markarth you might overhear an argument between Brother Verulus and Thongvor Silver-Blood. This location change means you are unlikely to just run into this quest immediately as in vanilla, but also gives you a high chance of encountering it during The Forsworn Conspiracy, in which case it has the double benefit of acting as a kind of red herring in that quest and linking this quest with Markarth's corruption and secret society vibes.

Brother Verulus wants the city guard to stop their lockdown of the Halls of the Dead and to actually go in and deal with the draugr head on (in my alternative "Fixed" Skyrim the increased draugr population is connected with Alduin's return, who is raising his Dragon Priests to serve him, even within cities). Why doesn't he go pester the Jarl or the Captain about this, asks Thongvor, dismissively. Oh come on, don't act coy, we all know who really controls the guard in Markarth, why not let them do their job, replies Verulus. Thongvor counters that that would be a desecration of the Nordic dead, that guards putting them down like a pest would be dishonourable. What's more, perhaps if the glorious Nordic dead of the city weren't being tended to by a poncy Imperial Priest of Arkay instead of a proper old fashioned Orkey Shaman, maybe none of this would have happened. Verulus starts to lose his temper at this, and in anger implies that he knows that the draugr problem that plagues the other cities isn't the real issue here, that most of the ancient dead here are Reachfolk not Nord, and begins to demand a true explanation for being locked out but stops himself, he has said too much and leaves.

The quest begins by talking to Verulus who will ask you to investigate what's really going on in The Halls of the Dead. How you get in is up to you. If you're a sneaky type or a smooth talker you'll get in that way. You can also commit a crime to lure the guard away maybe. You could go find Thongvor who can be convinced to give you an alternative - take care of Verulus, but more on that later.

However you get into the Halls, on entering you start finding evidence of cannibalism, butchered bodies, cooking stations and so on. As you delve deeper you hear Eola, a Reachman Namira Devotee, goading and teasing you; "Not many would walk blindly into a crypt, smelling of steel and blood, but not fear... Don't you see what I am about down here in the dark? Is that disgust? Revulsion?... Or curiosity? Why don't you come deeper, and scratch that itch?" You can question her about who she is, what is her purpose here, why is Thongvor protecting her etc. but it will come down to convincing her to leave, killing her, or accepting her invitation to eat human flesh.

Now, IF you sided with Thongvor, the plan is to lie to Verulus to get him to follow you into the Halls of the Dead, this time you'll be confronted directly by Eola and Thongvor together. They intend to kill and eat you both and blame your deaths on Draugr. You can fight your way out and try to save Verulus, or you can prove yourself by killing Verulus yourself and tasting him by way of a test.

If you partake in cannibalism you will get a monologue from Eola about Namira, waxing poetic about the oldest god, The Black Fly, being the Daedric Prince of decay and squalor and all things ugly and repulsive... But also her significance to the Reachmen. To them she is the Spirit Queen who is the true god of death, not Arkay, the primal darkness that gives and takes life. You will gain the power to feast on a corps once a night or when underground, and unlock the second quest.

Quest B - A Guest for Dinner

The second quest will be even less obvious to the player and will hopefully take most people completely by surprise the first time it happens. The quest will only begin after the following criteria are met: You have used the lesser power to consume 10 or more corpses. You own a fully furnished player home. You spend the night there with either your spouse or a follower. When you sleep, a slow, loud, ominous knocking at the door awakens you.

At your door is a stranger in rags and a hideous face asking to come in. You can refuse or invite them to stay. Once inside they will take a seat at your table and ask what is being served for dinner. At this point your follower/spouse will be freaking out a little. You can offer food, like regular food, which will disappoint him and he'll leave. You can offer your spouse or follower as the meal and you'll have to attack them, the screen will darken for an gruesome audible muckbang. Or you can tell the Stranger he is on the menu, which will please him greatly and he will warn you against choking on him, depending on the disposition of your specific follower or spouse they will either join in or abandon you forever.

The Stranger, if he survives the night, will give you the Ring of Namira as thanks. If you ate him Eola, who incidentally will now double as a replacement spouse/follower, will arrive and give you the Ring. The Ring is a powerful reflect damage/magic ring, a unique enchantment in Skyrim.

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moodcrab · 3 months

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While researching Namira for the first in my "Fixing Skyrim's Deadric Quests" blogs I ended up doing a deep dive into the religion of the Reachmen and now I'm thinking a "Fixing The Forsworn" blog is on the cards...

#skyrim #elder scrolls #elder scrolls memes #elder scrolls morrowind #skyrim memes #elder scrolls oc #oblivion #truestl #tes6 #morrowind #tes 5 #tes #the elder scrolls 6 #the elder scolls online #the elder scrolls #bethesda

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moodcrab · 5 months

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you know that one god awful map that literally looks like a minecraft world? yeah that's what tamriel looks like

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moodcrab · 5 months

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Fixing Skyrim's Main Quest

Part III (A)

You're Finally Awake

You awake in your prison cell at Winterhold. You can speak to your cellmates, a horse thief named Lokir who is having a nervous breakdown and blames his misfortune on your other cellmate, Rala (girl Ralof), who will exposit about being a Stormcloak scout who got caught, and, in hushed tones, that we shouldn't worry, the Stormcloaks are coming to liberate the city soon! He will ask who you are (character creation) and how you ended up here. There are several options you can pick as a back story, one race specific one, and a "I can't remember/mind your business!" option if none of those fit your backstory.

Enter Hadvar, who seems to know Rala. From their conversation you gleam they are brother and sister and grew up happily in a village called Riverwood, before politics split them apart. Hadvar wants Rala to betray the location of the incoming Stormcloak attack, so that he can get her out of execution. She refuses, and though it saddens Hadvar he seems to respect her loyalty. During the conversation Rala will refer to Ulfric Stormcloak not only as "True High King" which Hadvar will disagree with, but as "Dragonborn" which Hadvar will treat as almost blasphemous. Rala will respond with something about the banning of Talos.

Towards the end of the conversation you see other prisoners being led out behind Hadvar. Times up. They are leading you out to the headsman's block. As you exit the dungeon you are hit by the bright, beautiful snowy land of Skyrim, you can look around you as you are led through the busy streets of the large bustling city of Winterhold. A large fantastical building, The College, looms in the skyline.

Just as execution seems imminent, the Stormcloak rescue mission erupts from hiding! But just as the two sides prepare to charge each other... Something happens that puts fear into both parties. A bone chilling roar followed by tremors in the earth. From the north, the vast black shadow of Alduin descends on us all.

Still bound, you flee from the dragon as around you the whole city is collapsing into the Sea of Ghosts. You get a close call from Alduin and a great view of the city around the College falling away leaving the College untouched. You get separated from the other prisoners, and get a choice to follow Rala or Hadvar. Together you descend into Winterhold's Halls of the Dead. "That was a Dragon! OMG!" Just inside you find the body of the Priest of Orkey and his lootable robes and healing spell tome. Hadvar/Rala remarks that the priest has been stabbed, not killed by the dragon attack. Who could have done this?

The lone draugr shambles towards you, lootable blade drawn. Hadvar/Rala will sound surprised to see one here. After you kill it, they shall explain that the odd draugr might be known to attack grave robbers or unsuspecting explorers in some ancient ruined tomb out in the wilderness, but here in a city? With a priest tending to the Hall? You continue through the Hall, there's a passage into the mountains he tells you, but crypts around you start popping open, you get a quick go at archery and stealth during draugr fights but this dungeon won't be drawn out.

Eventually you'll bump into Rala/Hadvar, whoever you didn't go with, who has arrived via a separate tunnel with some of their soldiers. They will try to hold their soldiers back and focus on escape, but a fight breaks out as the earth is still quaking around you threatening to implode the tunnels at any minute. In the chaos, the sibling you entered with is killed by the other, and you flee for the exit.

And that's how we begin. You'll exit the tunnel alone as it collapses behind you. You won't be funneled to any particular settlement or quest. There is a mountain between you and Winterhold to stop an immediate return, but nowhere is off limits either. Let's rundown the major changes and discuss why I made them.

Oh and Lokir got shot.

Location. We're in Winterhold, which is now a proper city, not Helgan. Pretty much, if we're going to destroy a settlement let's do it properly. The Great Collapse in vanilla Skyrim was undercooked, let's actually experience it first hand and appreciate the devastation on return visits. The Collapse will be big news, and people will gossip about how Jarl Korir, who lost his son in the attack, is going full Stormcloak because the Empire is not coming through with aid. He, as well as Nords in general, will be highly suspect of the College for surviving untouched, shoving a bigger wedge between Nordic society and mages (First the Oblivion Crisis, now this!?)

Hadvar and Ralof. Changing Ralof to a woman is literally just change for the sake of change. Like, why not? But making them siblings rather than vague acquaintances really sets up how divisive the Civil War will be. Making one kill the other will really set the tone here. Whichever one happens to survive your playthrough will become a fucked up guilt and grief driven character if you side with them, someone you can help or condemn, and if you side against them they'll be like a mini boss in a CW battle. It did cross my mind to make them lovers instead of siblings but I think this will be better off elsewhere, like with Jon and Olfina in Whiterun.

Ulfric and Tulius. They aren't here. It never made much sense to me why Tulius wouldn't kill Ulfric on the spot. From the Empire's perspective, no trial is necessary, he's a murderer and a traitor. Vanilla Tulius not only took Ulfric to a town (not even the nearest one) he planned to execute him AFTER a horse thief and the stranger in rags. It makes no sense.

The Halls of the Dead sequence allows you to tutorial basic combat/magic/stealth quickly whilst also putting the insane amount of draugr you are about to fight in this game into context. Draugr are a thing, but now they are rising en mas, and it has something to do with the Dragons. When a dragon attacks a city the dead shall rise, people will be unable to visit their ancestral barrows anymore.

Pacing. Above all I wanted to put the world of Skyrim into context in as short a time possible for the benefit of replayability. Playing vanilla Skyrim without an alternative start mod is torture. We've done away with the lengthy carriage ride that showcases a mechanic that doesn't exist in the rest of the game. We get into the action of the Dragon attack quickly but without sacrificing tension and the tutorial dungeon is much shorter.

For more context check out

Part One - Setting:

https://www.tumblr.com/moodcrab/713523288690802688/fixing-skyrims-main-quest

Part Two - Backstory:

https://www.tumblr.com/moodcrab/714501541554454528/fixing-skyrims-main-quest

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moodcrab · 6 months

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Draft 2

Elder Scrolls VI Wish List Part II - Fast Travel and Map Markers

Fast Travel and Map Markers are a contentious subject. On the one hand they make the huge world you are in feel small, on the other, without them quests would quickly become far too tedious, taken up mostly by walking back and forth between locations over and over. Here are a few things I think will improve these features:

1. Outside of hiring carriages or boats, you will only be able to fast travel after acquiring an item, be it a map, compass or magical device. The item shouldn't be too difficult to aquire, but just hard enough to encourage exploration in the early game.

2. Once the item is acquired, you can only fast travel to towns and cities that you have been to before, not every single dungeon in the country that you just happened to walk by once. This would allow you to fast travel to the nearest settlement to your destination and explore from there, and allow you to return with ease.

3. With the recall spell removed, Oblivion made you walk back through huge empty dungeons, Skyrim made all dungeons circular, neither were very satisfying. The simplest solution is to allow fast travel from dungeons, at least once it has been cleared.

4. Map markers need to be less precise. Unless someone is sending you to an exact location ("go fetch my ring, it's in this chest in this house in this city!") markers should lead you to general areas only ("go kill Jon, he's in this forest/city/region!"), once there you have to find the person or item yourself, and there should be different ways to do this based on your skills (persuasion, perception and so on).

5. Like in Red Dead Redemption 2, fast travel loading screens should be replaced with short scenes of the country between you and your destination, with you travelling through them. This gave the real feeling that you had travelled miles, the game hadn't just loaded you in at a different cell and progressed the time a few hours. (I also think RDR2's hunting and fishing is well worth emulating, but that's off topic).

6. This wasn't on my original list, but now that I'm thinking about RDR2, horse care and rowing boats are such simple things that make exploring easier and add immersion, so I'm going to throw them in too.

7. Bring back teleportation. Simple really but if you put effort into learning magic there should be benefits that no other playstyle can give you.

8. As I said before, there should be a lot less map markers in general, only towns, cities and other significant settlements, but I do think there should be more markers in each city. Five or six buildings or points of interest should be available for fast travel, like the HQ of a faction. When applicable, the fast travel should place you *inside* the building, it's infuriating to watch a loading screen just to be placed in front of a door and *another* loading screen.

9. Quests locations should have a location appropriate to the quest giver. Why do I need a recommendation from the guild hall in Anvil just to be sent to a cave in Cheydenhal? Forcing the player to zap around the map is arguably what makes the world feel small, not fast travel itself.

10. Don't make me constantly return to the same place after every quest in a quest chain. Have you ever tried doing the Skyrim civil war without fast travel? It's insane making. Every single quest begins and ends with a trip to/from Solitude/Windhelm AND a War Camp. Even with fast travel you are spending most of your time staring at load screen after loading screen instead of playing the game.

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moodcrab · 6 months

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Draft 2

Fixing Skyrim's Main Quest

Part One, Setting

Obviously it's set in Skyrim, but let's tweak it a bit.

Time

First of all, if there's one thing we can all agree on from Skyrim and Fallout 4 it's that Bethesda doesn't know how long 200 years is.

It's a very long time.

For reference, two hundred years back from the time of writing this Mad King George was king of England, it wasn't even the Victorian Era yet. The American Civil War was decades away from starting. The entire industrial AND technological revolutions as well as BOTH World Wars and the collapse of the British AND Ottoman Empires happened in that time, with plenty of room to spare.

It's a VERY long time!

Placing a two hundred year gap between Oblivion and Skyrim was a bad decision considering how very little actually happened. Tamriel should be drastically different, like they should have cars by now.

The major events that did happen, the Rise of the Medes, the Rise of the Thalmor, The Red Year, The Infernal City, The Void Nights, The Great War and White Gold Concordat could easily happen within one lifetime, so we're going to say the events of Skyrim take place in 4E64.

From a writing point of view, this small change makes it a lot easier to keep track of things that were a bit of a mess in vanilla, like the life of Ulfric, or the backstory of Gaius, Karliah and Mercer, which were all over the place if you were actually paying attention. It also means you can talk to people who actually remember these things happening, who were children during the Oblivion Crisis. You could even change Esbern's name to one of the younger Blades members you meet in Oblivion seeing as Esbern has the role of lore depository.

Religion and Culture

The next setting change is to remember this is Skyrim, not Cyrodiil. The Nords don't worship the Nine/Eight. In fact, the only reason the Nine/Eight exists as a pantheon at all because of the Nords stubbornness around the worship of foreign gods.

The Temple of Kynareth is now The Temple of Kyn, and Gildergleam Sanctuary is the home of Kyn's Holy Order. The College of Winterhold is no longer Hogwarts but the Chantry of Jhunal (a 'college' is a place of study, research and academia, not just a school). You might meet The Vigilant of Stuhn on the road, who don't live in a hut but a temple. Instead of a priest of Arkay in the Halls of the Dead we have priests of Orkey. Tsun, a god we actually meet in vanilla but has no shrines or altars, will replace Zenithar. And, most interesting to our story, a cult of both Alduin and Herma Mora - our two villains - gods to be placated rather than worshipped.

This said, the Imperial Cult will definitely have a strong presence in Skyrim and Talos, being an Ysmir, is particularly venerated (as is Ysgramor and Wulfharth). Yes, over the centuries the Imperial Cult and will obviously have spread into Skyrim, we can lean into this with the Civil War, putting a much bigger emphasis on the more "Imperialised" Holds siding with the Empire and the old school Atmoran Holds siding with the Stormcloaks. It never made much sense to me that the "true Nords" were more upset than the Imperials over the whole Talos situation, this change makes it so that while both sides are pissed off, one reacts with frustrating diplomacy and patience while the over reacts with stubborn honour and impulse, a more cultural divide rather than a pro/anti Talos one.

The Imperial position would be to play along with the Thalmor in the open, but to secretly fund and organise cults to other men-turned-gods and Imperial/Nordic hero gods such as Pelinal, Wulfharth, Ysgramor, Reman, Alessia and Martin, as well as the concept of Ysmir (which would actually include Tiber Septim and The Last Dragonborn). They would not openly support nor allow any arrests or persecutions of these cults by Justiciars. The Stormcloak position will remain "Fuck that bitch this is Skyrim."

Geography

This might sound crazy, but Skyrim was too hot.

No I'm kidding, I'm not so in love with the lore that I think a game of endless snow would be anything but boring. But there are some things that were cut out of the land that left Skyrim wanting. For instance there are hardly any settlements. Amber Guard, Granitehall, Nimalten City, Reich Corigate, Lainalten, Oakwood, Pargran Village, Laintar Dale, Dunpar Wall, Dragon Wood, and North Keep are all Skyrim cities that are missing from the game. Like not even abandoned ruins, they're just not there.

I totally understand there are size limitations but this is meant to be a country. It has five town sized cities and three village sized cities. And some villages. And they mostly look like Riverwood. Seriously, what exactly is the difference between Karthwasten, Falkreath, Shor's Stone, Winterhold and Riverwood, all towns from different Holds? It's like if shopping malls were made of wood.

The other thing about the vanilla settlements I didn't like was Bethesda seems to be stuck in Fallout style post apocalyptic design. Solitude has been there for thousands of years but no one has ever thought to shift these boulders from out of the middle of the street? There are ruins in better shape than Windhelm and Markarth? You can sum it up with Whiterun's Western Watchtower, which looks exactly the same after a dragon destroys it. Surely the ravages of civil war and the dragon crisis would have a bigger impact if things weren't already destroyed.

In fact, let's address the Imperial Fort situation. At the start of the game only 3 forts were occupied by actual soldiers, two of which were destroyed in the early game (Helgan and the Western Watchtower). Literally ALL other forts are in ruins and occupied by bandits or other undesirables. Consider that Skyrim is a country that recently took part in the Great War, but is currently dealing with a Civil War. Forts are not easy to build, and are insanely useful for medieval warfare. It truly beggars belief that practically none of them are maintained and fortified until the Player Character decides to get involved. To strain credulity further, many of the war camps you encounter in the wilds are literally in the shadows of major fortifications that have been left to rot. There is even a side quest to reclaim a Nord's fort from bandits, which is also a ruin. Is the implication that the man lives in a ruin? Or is it that in the short time the bandits have been there they've done a century or two of damage? Why would they do that?

Skyrim has a lot of dungeons, and a lot of quests that are basically "clear dungeon", we can't sacrifice some of this boring content for some more towns or forts, with characters, and things to do?

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moodcrab · 8 months

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Yay Skyrim finally has """"""fishing""""""

#skyrim #elder scrolls #elder scrolls memes #skyrim memes #elder scrolls morrowind #truestl #elder scrolls oc #oblivion #tes6 #morrowind #tes 5 #tes #tesblr #tes 5 skyrim #tes lore #the elder scrolls 6 #the elder scolls online #the elder scrolls #skyrim anniversary edition

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moodcrab · 8 months

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If you like my TES writings, consider giving my OC a look! It would mean a lot to me

People, Part I

The Djosé

The Djosé are a tall, fur covered humanoid with two horns. To us, they would look like a bison-person in the same way a minotaur is a bull-person and a fawn is a goat-person. Despite their size and relative strength they are generally peaceful and gentle people, unless provoked.

The Djosé of the Great Stone Desert and the Moody Mountains of the northern Dawnlands have no gods, they are ancestor worshipers. Due to their unique physiology, they don't breed and have children like we do, they die, and eventually the body regenerates and is born again with no memory of the previous life. They quite literally reincarnate as a means of reproduction. A quirk of this method is they have need of only one gender, or to be more precise, are genderless.

Djosians believe that you as a living individual only exist in the speck of time when your soul (or Djo) and your body (or Sé) are combined. When you die your body awaits regeneration and your soul moves on to a new body. Therefore, all individuals you ever know or come before you are truly unique. A death is therefore both tragic and wonderful, and the Djosians hold those who have died with great regard (hence Ancestor Worship).

The purpose for existence, they believe, is to experience every possible thing through the eyes of every possible person. They believe that one day the universe woke up and went mad from the sheer immensity of everything, so it split itself into shards (Djo) to better understand itself, and that one day, all souls will have lived in all bodies, and the souls shall combine into the Great Djo (essentially the first "god") and the bodies shall combine into the Great Sé (essentially a new world).

The Djosé have a very significant funeral right that each individual begins at reincarnation (birth). Each Djosian will build an intricate stone stack throughout their lives, into which they will incorporate items or carvings to represent pivotal times or experiences in said life. Upon death, a Djosian is tied in a funeral sack filled with a specially bred moth that dehydrates the body and organs, preserving them. The moths are then released, never to be reused, and the body is intermed in the stack to await its next life.

This process is timely and difficult, as the stacks are not in specific locations such as a cemetery, but a location of significance chosen by the Djosian who builds it. The shrines, once vacated, act as memorials and shrines at which the living meditate.

On very rare and momentous occasions two Djosians might meet who's souls and/or bodies once formed another individual, a common Ancestor. This Reunion is very special, as Djosians can't remember past lives, and this chance encounter allows both of them to commune with their common Ancestor. Such a meeting is marked out by their horns starting to glow as they get closer to each other. Such events occur once or twice in a generation, and are celebrated in a holy festival known as Séjoar in Djorian (their language).

Both individuals meditate and receive three visions, a shared memory that they both see, and one separate vision each. By tradition they must never speak of these visions, except for the shared memory. This is followed by feasting and celebration.

The Djosé come from the harsh Stone Dessert, that according to legends was swept clear of all earth and vegetation by a thousand years of rain that wore the mountains flat. The Djosé are the only race hardy enough to call it home, and live off lichens and mosses, which is about the only things that grow there. The stone desert resembles a real world mesa dessert, but instead of warm reds and terracotta oranges, it is coloured grey blue slate, with bands of green and turquoise, laced with fine golden veins. The area's mineral resources are of great interest to outsiders, if they could only figure out a way of surviving it.

On the rare occasion a Djosian might venture beyond its homeland, it might discover it is known by another name; Troll.

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moodcrab · 9 months

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Alessia X Morihaus 😳

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moodcrab · 9 months

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We need to talk about the Cum Lore of Reman Cyrodiil

First let's address the whole "his Dad fucked a hill" thing.

So yeah the story goes that King Hrol and his men, during a time of division and strife for Cyrodiil, saw a vision of Alessia. Hrol decided to "make union unto a hillock" which is exactly what it sounds like; he had sex with the actual dirt, and it was so good he actually died, his sheildthane died, and everyone else went insane.

Nine months later and the hill had grown into a mountain that would one day be Sancre Tor, and a shepherdess climbed up and found baby Reman with the Amulet of Kings embedded in his forehead (or just wearing it, depending on who you ask). Either way, this is proof that the baby was the legit Dragonborn and the shepherdess was able to walk him straight into the White Gold Tower and sit him on the Ruby Throne uncontested.

Now some might say that this is religious allegory mixed with Reman dynasty propaganda with just a sprinkle of truth; a King of the land making love to the land itself, representing its founding mother, producing the literal perfect righteous ruler of that land;

"I am Cyrodiil come." -Reman Cyrodiil, and he meant it literally.

...when in truth a noble probably sexually exploited a commoner, getting her pregnant, who then murdered him and claimed her son was legitimate. It's a very pessimistic view, and when you consider some of the crazy shit that has 100% definitely happened on Tamriel, it's a little overly skeptical. Like Elsie God-Hater levels of jaded. But however it happened, the Amulet of Kings, and later his Thu'um, proves Reman was the real deal.

I really want to believe the story, not only because it perfectly encapsulates how gross real life ancient mythology is, not only because it's a unique and crazy story where this demi god emperor is literally made of dirt and jizz as a living personification of the country, but because that shepherdess would later become one of Reman's concubines who would bake his cum into bread and feed it back to him, and this shit is so wild as it is without her also being his mother!

Reman, which means "Light of Man" (ray-man) really brings home the Roman flare to the Cyrods with his crazy origins, he's a much cooler and more mysterious figure than that Tiber Septim dickhead, and it would be very hard for the Thalmor to so easily dismiss his divine credentials. Talos is banned? Good riddance, who wants crackers when we have fresh baked bread at home 😋.

I read once that Reman spontaneously ejaculated over the corpses of his slain enemies. I don't know if that's canon or just some Reddit Kirkbride insanity but I read it and now you have. The true Ninth Divine right there.

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moodcrab · 9 months

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😍 HE'S PERFECT 🥰

Atmoron

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moodcrab · 9 months

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Sheogorath IS Lorkhan!!!

My take on the creation of Mundus goes like this. Lorkhan god of space wishes to create the physical realm Mundus.

Why? Because his fellow Et'Ada may all be powerful gods but with nothing to do they would remain big balls of untapped potential for eternity. In other words, what use is space to grow with no limitations from which to break through? Or bounce off of? You can't build muscle without resistance. You'll never fulfill your potential if there's no motivation to do so. Take Arkay, a god like any other but with no mortals to live and die, no souls to psychopomp, what is he for?

So Lorkhan decides to create Mundus by playing a trick on some of his fellow Et'Ada, while recruiting others to help him play the trick. Those he tricked would one day become the Aedra, Magna Ge and the Earth Bones. Those he recruited, as well as those who refused to take part one way or the other, would become the Daedra.

But part of Lorkhan's plan was its failure. He intended to get caught last minute, and at the moment of Convention Magnus and his followers fled Mundus creating the sun and stars, while the Trinimac and the Aedra ripped Lorkhan apart, his broken body created the moons, his heart was launched into the sea where it would create Red Mountain and eventually the Numidium, and his soul was shattered throughout time and space to wander Nirn as the Shezzarine. This is when the Deadra who didn't follow Lorkhan saw their opportunity, and attacked. Jyggalag, the mind of Lorkhan that sought to bring order to this crazy universe, was driven mad and cursed to live as Sheogorath.

In short, Mankar Camoran was right. So where's my proof?

Let's start with linguistics. The Bretons are man-mer, one foot in both sides of the Ehlnofey schism. They have the merish view of Lorkhan as this devilish trickster god, but they call him Sheor, like his manish name Shor.

Shor - Sheor - Sheogorath

Lorkhan is also known as Shezarr, the missing god of the Cyrodiilic pantheon. That Lorkhan shaped hole keeps getting filled with gods of war/ spirits of the endeavours of man. One such god was Ebonarm, sworn enemy of all Daedra, with the notable exception of Sheogorath. Why is that? Perhaps Ebonarm sought vengeance for Lorkhan's betrayal, which Sheogorath is not only innocent but one of the victims?

How about that guy you meet in The Shivering Isles, Dyus of Mytheria? He is the one thing of Jyggalag's world that Sheogorath refuses to destroy after returning from the Greymarch; his librarian. The keeper of the knowledge of CREATION ITSELF! Not only is Sheogorath unable to bring himself to destroy Dyus, he keeps him immortal and imprisoned in the library.

"As the Great Library, it once contained all the knowledge in creation. However, spare me your grief. My imprisonment is as meaningless as my immortality. Time and place are nothing. Constructs of a feeble mortal mind attempting to categorize and understand the world around it. If you were one of the fortunate few, you would one day understand and accept this. However, you are not and you will not."

"Contained within its walls were the logical prediction of every action ever taken by any creature, mortal or Daedric. Every birth. Every death. The rise of Tiber Septim. The Numidium. Everything. All predicted with the formulae found within Jyggalag's library."

It's interesting he uses both Tiber Septim (Talos) and Numidium as examples as both are examples of those Lorkhan shaped gods filling the Shezarr hole, and both use the heart of Lorkhan/Mantella to achieve divine power. So Jyggalag/Sheogorath hold the knowledge of creation, which they would know because they are manifestations of the mind of the creator Lorkhan.

Mankar Camoran believed that Mundus was a realm of Oblivion as Lorkhan was a Daedric Prince (Jyggalag??), so Dagon has every right to inherit it. This can easily be written off as an excuse to dominate the mortal plain, but if my theory is right then this belief is a legitimate way of interpreting it. If Mehrunes Dagon was one of Lorkhan's loyal recruits he might want to conquer what he sees as his inheritance.

"How little you understand! You cannot stop Lord Dagon. The Principalities have sparkled as gems in the black reaches of Oblivion since the First Morning. Many are their names and the names of their masters: the Coldharbour of Meridia, Peryite's Quagmire, the ten Moonshadows of Mephala, and... and Dawn's Beauty, the Princedom of Lorkhan... misnamed 'Tamriel' by deluded mortals."

"Yes, you understand now. Tamriel is just one more Daedric realm of Oblivion, long since lost to its Prince when he was betrayed by those that served him. Lord Dagon cannot invade Tamriel, his birthright! He comes to liberate the Occupied Lands!"

Consider Boethiah. If Lorkhan was plotting against the other Et'Ada who would make a better ally than the Prince of plots? Consider what she did to Trinimac, the Aedra that "killed" Lorkhan. She not only humiliated him in battle, she ate and excreted him as Malacath. In doing so she transformed his followers into the Orcs. She exposed the grandest Aedroth knight to be just the same as the Daedra, using Mundus as a playground and mortals as toys, and she turned his merish followers into ugly brutes, exactly what the mer accuse men of being. And she did so in the service of the Chimer, leading more elves away from their "ancestors". I mean, she could have just killed him... But she chose to destroy what he was. Strip away his pretensions. It just feels personal. Vengeful.

Consider also that Boethiah is almost certainly the Night Mother of the Dark Brotherhood. Think about it. Why would Sithis care about contract murder in Tamriel? He is the void. Boethiah on the other hand is all about sneaking around plotting to murder people, and tricking a bunch of goths into worshipping the wrong god. Using the corpse of some poor Bravil girl she has made a cult to Lorkhan, who is a being of Sithis. Ever wonder why the statue of Sithis in Oblivion is of a man with his heart ripped out? Remind you of anyone?

But it's just a theory. It gets crazier when you accept that Lorkhan and Akatosh are the same person. But that's a rambling theory for another blog.

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moodcrab · 9 months

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Fixing Delphine

This bitch.

I actually like that they made a character that is on your side but is somewhat unlikable, Delphine is Team Dragonborn, but she's not really one of the good guys. And that's cool, conflict means drama. So what's the problem? Well unfortunately, this drama is surface level and isn't used to drive the story, so It's kind of just annoying.

People oversimplify their hatred of Delphine into "She wants you to kill Paarthurnax," because unlike Delphine, people actually like Paarthurnax. Understandable, but barely scratches the surface. We'll get to The Paarthurnax Dilemma in time, but that quest is a symptom, not the illness itself.

If I could sum up Delphine in a word it would be "inconsistent." For example, she's a fugitive waging a one woman war on the Thalmor from the shadows, who's only survived this long from sheer paranoia - but she also uses her real name and leaves a note in Ustengrav for whoever happens to pick it up with directions and a pass word to her secret hide out.

She needs to go through her super secret contact Farengar to use the Jarl's resources to go into Bleak Falls Barrow, a tutorial level dungeon she can see from her house, and she's impressed that you did it - but she also goes personally to the other side of the country to delve alone into the massive Ustengrav to steal the Horn of Jurgan Windcaller, no issues, just a quick in and out twenty minute adventure.

She takes the fact that you found her Ustengrav note as proof you're the Greybeard's new guy and not some Thalmor plant even though she herself, a non Dragonborn, had also completed Ustengrav and taken the horn proving it's totally possible. She even points this out in her own dialogue then demands we prove who we are, even though that was the whole point of the Ustengrav note. It's also a pretty big assumption that just because I'm the guy the Greybeards call Dragonborn that I can't ALSO be with the Thalmor.

We are left with this awkward sense that the writers are flailing to make us think this woman is competent and objective, without actually having her do anything that clever. Just act like the dumb thing was smart and have her act like a cocky brat if questioned about it.

Inconsistency. It's her thing. Does she hate the Thalmor? That would make sense given what we know about her. But that gets dropped half way through the main story and suddenly she hates The Greybeards, for absolutely no reason at all. She gives a reason, but it's bullshit.

In her own words, "If the greybeards had their way, the dragonborn would sit on a mountain talking to the sky." But that's not true is it. We know The Greybeards, they encouraged us to fulfill our destiny. Even if you say you want to follow their Way of the Voice, they'll be glad to hear it but warn you not to let it get in the way of what needs to be done. Delphine even uses Tiber Septim as an example, which is even stupider because The Greybeards actively encouraged Tiber to conquer Tamriel. Have I read more in game books than the dialogue writers??

But that's not the end of it, when it becomes convenient for the plot this hatred is flipped once again from The Greybeards onto dragons. Not Alduin. All dragons. Despite the fact that, as a Blade, she should know about Nafaalilargus, a dragon ally of the Empire and the Blades for thousands of years, and the Blades don't just indiscriminately kill all dragons no matter the circumstances, and that Tiber Septim himself almost certainly met Paarthurnax at some point, she suddenly seems to be acting like she has a personal grudge against dragons. Which brings us to the Paarthurnax Dilemma...

See here's the thing, you could easily write off the frustration everyone feels towards this quest as Bethesda's crappy design, where there is no conclusion other than to kill Paarthurnax, or else leave an unfinished quest languishing in the menu. Bethesda apparently didn't consider the idea that anybody would actually prefer to turn on the Blades, even though the Blades have become a bit of a running joke among the fans, or that anyone would take umbrage with Delphine giving out orders and ultimatums.

But no, it's so much worse than that. Delphine being a surly unlikable c u n t from the day we met her is one thing, but the fact that she has been wrong about almost everything she's ever said in game, and still having the AUDACITY to treat us like her work bitch and us never, not once, getting the opportunity to put her in her place... That's not poor quest design, that's the game gaslighting us.

Let's do a quick list of every one of Delphine's theories, and how many were actually correct shall we:

You are not the Dragonborn ❌

The Greybeards shouldn't be trusted to identify a Dragonborn ❌

The dragons aren't just coming back, they're coming back to life ✅

The Thalmor have something to do with the dragons returning ❌

Esbern is dead ❌

The Greybeards just want the Dragonborn to sit on a mountain and meditate ❌

The Greybeards wanted Tiber Septim to just sit on a mountain and meditate ❌

Paarthurnax, having lived in exile for thousands of years, deserves corporal punishment ❌

As ACTING Grand Master of the Blades, she gets to boss around the Dragonborn ❌

She deserves a seat at the peace negotiations ❌

And these are just the things that are factually wrong, leaving aside opinions on her morality and shitty attitude. This is the woman the game presents to us as a shrewd strategist.

BUT I CAN FIX HER!

Like I said I like the idea of a character who is on your side but is somewhat unlikable. It actually won't take much to make Delphine endearing to the fans. We have to do a Boromir on her. A Lot of people dislike Boromir throughout the Fellowship of the Ring but weep at his death. We have to tweak three things to have the same thing happen to Delphine:

1. Make her actually competent and useful so that while we don't agree with her we can see why she does the things she does, and desire to keep her around.

2. Have her mistakes called out and have consequences.

3. Have her redeem her mistakes with a badass honourable death.

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moodcrab · 10 months

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Note* it's entirely possible that Kematu is also totally lying and his story is just as untrue, but we can't know this for sure because if it is a lie it's a good lie. It fits with the context of the game. It's really just a matter of opinion.

Note** Other legit points that have been raised:

Within spitting distance of Saadia, Heimskr "speaks out against the Thalmor" on a literal daily basis but the Thalmor don't seem to care.

The Thalmor use agents on several other occasions in the game, even in Stormcloak held territory such as Windhelm and Riften, they are always either High Elves or Khajiit, in other words members of the Dominion. They sometimes even wear full uniform while doing so. So why do they need to use a third party with Saadia in Whiterun?

The Saadia situation mirrors the Delphine situation quite a bit. Delphine is a foreigner working in a tavern in Whiterun Hold as a cover because she is on the run, just like Saadia. However, the Thalmor are 100% actively trying to catch Delphine, there is no question about it. But they don't use the Alik'r. Because that wouldn't make any sense.

(Unlike Delphine, Saadia at least had the sense to change her name, so Delphine still holds the trophy for worst written character in an Elder Scrolls game. Yes, Delphine is getting her own blog post soon!)

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moodcrab · 11 months

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Note* it's entirely possible that Kematu is also totally lying and his story is just as untrue, but we can't know this for sure because if it is a lie it's a good lie. It fits with the context of the game. It's really just a matter of opinion.

Note** Other legit points that have been raised:

Within spitting distance of Saadia, Heimskr "speaks out against the Thalmor" on a literal daily basis but the Thalmor don't seem to care.

The Thalmor use agents on several other occasions in the game, even in Stormcloak held territory such as Windhelm and Riften, they are always either High Elves or Khajiit, in other words members of the Dominion. They sometimes even wear full uniform while doing so. So why do they need to use a third party with Saadia in Whiterun?

The Saadia situation mirrors the Delphine situation quite a bit. Delphine is a foreigner working in a tavern in Whiterun Hold as a cover because she is on the run, just like Saadia. However, the Thalmor are 100% actively trying to catch Delphine, there is no question about it. But they don't use the Alik'r. Because that wouldn't make any sense.

(Unlike Delphine, Saadia at least had the sense to change her name, so Delphine still holds the trophy for worst written character in an Elder Scrolls game. Yes, Delphine is getting her own blog post soon!)

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