misuseit
Your Sickness Feels Like Home
Emma bleeding where they cant see. This is my own personal blog about my struggles and my ED, OCD, anxiety and depression. Anyone who looks at this blog will see that mental illness is not beautiful or glamorous. It's painful and it's disgusting and ugly sometimes, and it hurts the people you love. Sometimes what it takes to get through it is knowing you're not alone.
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There is happiness found in red cheeks
and sore sides
in stained yellow teeth unabashed
smiling wide
in birthdays
in cupcakes
in sins and white lies
in scars peeking out
without shame of my thighs
there is happiness found in the folds of my skin
in the fat that I earned when I learned I could win
there is happiness here in this life
without you
I'll show you the things I, recovered, can do.
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It was good for a while, being empty. I didn’t hurt anymore. But as time went on, it was like I could hear myself from far away, begging for permission to come back.
Myra McEntire
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My heart skips a beat everytime, not sure if it’s from the question or the amount of caffeine in my system
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*has Intrusive thought*
Me: I am very uncomfortable with the energy we've created in the studio today
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I've seen their emaciated bodies
Hollows and protrusions
Deep enough to hold rivers
Tall enough to form mountains
On the terrain of the self
I've seen it
I know what it would look like if I tried it on
It's nothing I don't understand
Nothing I cant comprehend
But I need to see it with my own eyes
Just to know I can
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If you're reading this:
✓ you need more than 1200 calories
✓ you're more than your body, your suffering and your recovery
✓ go grab a snack or a whole meal (you have unconditional permission to eat)
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Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost to be born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember longer and, as I say, get sadder younger than anyone else in the world. I know, for I'm one of them.
Rad Bradbury, Dandelion Wine
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Isn’t it wonderful how you’re always finding new songs and new books and new shows and new hobbies and new places and new people to fall in love with? There will always be things to love, as long as you stick around to find them.
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What’s going to make you happy right now? Is it some cake? Is it a nap? Is it calling your mom? Is it going on a drive and blasting music? Is it taking a bath? Is it reading a book?
Check in with yourself because you deserve that happiness, whatever it is.
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