miss-ddarling
Loving Myself Unconditionally
One step at a time
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That painful neurodivergent moment
When you know you’ll never love someone
As honest as you.
That you live in a world
Full of toxic family structures that create toxic norms
And a world where people live in denial
And call therapy a joke.
Honestly isn’t real in a world where lying benefits
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Oh dad,
How you were right.
Nobody will ever love me as much as you did.
I wish I could join you so I wouldn’t be
So alone in this world.
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I know I’m now completely alone.
Part of it is through stopping talking to people who didn’t accept me, who made me feel lonely and a freak in their presence.
Now it’s the alone knowing I have nobody to call on even if I needed it.
Knowing I have nobody I can trust.
Now that’s a new pain.
Seeing a world of people surrounded by support systems when you only had ones that took from you , degraded you and made sure you didn’t grow in ways they didn’t benefit from.
I guess I’m getting through my worst fear.
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I wish I was brave enough to end it.
Always searching for reasons to stay is exhausting
Almost as exhausting as knowing I’ll always make someone a priority that’ll always make me second to someone.
Im tired of my emotions always being too much for others.
Of giving unconditional love and only receiving conditional.
I work so hard to try to be happy, to try to have e ouch to eat, to always afford to have a shelter.
Im tired. I don’t want to try anymore.
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That’s when I knew . Connect with yourself before anyone else.
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he wasn’t there for me so I found someone who would be, myself.
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“As I get older I’m more and more comfortable being alone.”
- Sienna Miller
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I love me
Whew I can’t even be around people long they be trying to steal my energy 🤣
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