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miraclesabound · 1 hour
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another one
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miraclesabound · 1 hour
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miraclesabound · 1 hour
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With the Reddit 3rd party app crackdown and the ongoing horseshit Elon Musk is pulling with "X", I realize a lot of people here might be pretty new. So I put together a quick and easy guide for using Tumblr for anyone new who might need it.
Tumblr was made by David Karp and we call him Daddy around these parts (^///^)
You are not safe from fandom-gif attacks ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
Speaking of fandoms, the tumblr fandoms are always ready to grab their [object] and go to war against the Beliebers ╰(*°▽°*)╯
The only safe refuge from fandom tumblr is with hipster tumblr. If you can get a cool alt-girl to take you under her wing, you might be safe... for now (●'◡'●)
You will watch the first episode of Supernatural... and then you're part of the Winchester family. (Or if you skip right to season 4, we don't blame you. It's where Destiel starts (*/ω\*))
This is not a glomp-free zone ☆*: .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆
Use missing e. It's the only way to make Tumblr useable on Internet Explorer (this is the most popular browser and you're probably using it right now) :-D
Our only adult-supervision is John Green... and even then does that REALLY count as supervision? DFTBA! φ(゜▽゜*)♪
Just this once, everyone lives. It's bigger on the inside. Elementary, my dear Watson.
If you see Misha Collins staring at you, the polite response is "Saving people, hunting things, the family business." O.O
I might lose followers for this, but this blog supports gay rights, and yours should too (14 gifs of Sherlock and The Hobbit)
Tumblr will teach you more about the world than you'll ever learn in school. ○( ^皿^)っ
Tread carefully... we have teh yaoiz O.o. Oh you don't know what that means? Well let's just say... it's full of lemons here.
If you see Hannibal Lector in a flower crown, tell him it looks very nice. His boyfriend Will Graham made it for him. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
Do not enter the dog park. The dog park will not harm you.
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miraclesabound · 3 hours
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I know it's been said before, but... I'd like to take a little time to really point out all the many ways the locals are trying their hardest to be kind to Jonathan and to help him however they can, even at risk to themselves.
The innkeeper's wife breaks her silence enough to tell him not to go, and when he won't agree, to warn him about the eve of St. George's Day and ask him to delay. When that fails too, she gives him her crucifix. That's probably her personal protection she's giving up to him.
She's not done. She tells the driver of the coach about Jonathan, and I think asks him to rush through the pass so Dracula can't pick him up tonight.
The people nearby who overhear her look at Jonathan with pity. While they don't directly try to assist here, I can't help but notice that they're on the bench "which they call by a name meaning "word-bearer"" and talking loud enough/repetitively enough that Jonathan is able to look up their words about various supernatural threats. They outright say the word for "vampire", making it the first mention in the book. If we assume they subscribe to a belief where you don't name the evil lest it come after you, that could be them trying to indirectly get him some warning.
The whole crowd try to protect Jonathan from the evil eye when he's about to set out.
That one guy pointed out God's Seat to Jonathan... maybe trying to bring his attention to something nicer, maybe some kind of religious protection? A kind gesture regardless.
The driver makes a fairly black humor joke about dogs that seems to be hinting at wolves coming after them. I wonder if he's half-expecting Dracula to send wolves to hunt them down. Regardless, even though he arrived late to pick everyone up, he pushes really really hard the whole time to try and rush them through before Jonathan would be picked up. He succeeds well enough that they're a whole hour early, even.
As it gets dark, everyone else on board also starts urging the driver to go faster, and watching out the windows for Dracula's approach. They're invested in this too.
When they enter the Borgo Pass, they all start giving Jonathan protective gifts. I suspect those were meant to keep themselves safe as they pass close by Dracula's castle, but they insist he take them all instead.
They sigh in relief at their early arrival, and not seeing Dracula. The driver does the smallest most halfhearted pretense of trying to get Jonathan there, before declaring they'd better leave now since he's not getting picked up.
They obviously can't directly oppose Dracula when he arrives, but I have to mention the guy who quotes Lenore. That's maybe stupidly open about what Dracula is but it's still pretty ballsy even if he didn't really expect the Count to hear him.
They're just... doing their absolute best to help him. I love them so much.
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miraclesabound · 3 hours
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Okay, first of all: it is not at all surprising that tumblr is into this beef. at least half of being in fandom is beefing constantly, and the levels of haterdom that Kendrick Lamar has achieved are...... truly impressive and a little bit scary.
this is gonna be messy and not comprehensive but i've been thinking about this for like a week and there's just so much....... context. there's layers to this shit.
so let's start at the beginning.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
DRAKE AKA THE BOY AKA THE 6 GOD AKA THE TEFLON DON AKA CHAMPAGNE PAPI AKA WHEELCHAIR JIMMY
Aubrey Drake Graham is a rapper and actor from Toronto, Canada who I first became acquainted with from the television show Degrassi, where he played Jimmy Brooks, a hot headed jock who was later targeted in a school shooting and was paralyzed from the waist down. Everyone was skeptical when he started rapping in the 2010s, but he was a talented enough musician and business man--especially in his ability to chase and hop on trends--that he has become a very powerful figure in the music industry. One of his earliest massive hits is YOLO, a song that was inescapable when I was in college.
Drake has long had a reputation for being soft, firstly because he used to make music that women really fucked with (Hold On, We're Going Home is a great example, as is the video for Nice For What), and also because, well, he is a rapper from Canada who got his start on fucking Degrassi. This has very obviously bothered him throughout his career.
KENDRICK LAMAR DUCKWORTH AKA KENNY AKA KDOT AKA THE SECOND MOST PETTY PULITZER PRIZE WINNER
Kendrick is so different from Drake in almost every capacity. Kendrick is a rapper from Compton and from the start he was showered with critical acclaim for his technical skill but not necessarily the same kind of fame and success as Drake did. KDot has rapped a lot about his experiences as a gang member, and in many track reminds the listener that he has killed someone. His albums Good Kid M.A.A.D. City and To Pimp A Butterfly are considered modern day hip hop classics. They're really both incredible albums tbh but very very dense and emotionally effecting. Kendrick also won the 2018 Pulitzer Prize for music for his album DAMN. in 2018.
On top of that, Kendrick really holds it down for the culture--his song I and Alright became spontaneous protest chants during the George Floyd protests in 2020. I actually sort of can't listen to those songs anymore because I associate them with that movement so strongly!
PROLOGUE
It wasn't always beef between Drake and Kendrick. In fact, Drake had Kendrick open for him on tour in 2012 and Drake featured on the Kendrick single Poetic Justice. The only evidence of animosity between the two occurred after Kendrick's infamous verse on Big Sean's song Control, where Kendrick essentially named a bunch of rappers and said he was coming for them to be the greatest rapper of all time. Drake was one of the people he named.
Many people interpreted this as a diss, but Kendrick didn't respond to anyone iirc. At the 2013 BET Awards, Kendrick's verse in the cypher referenced Drake's album Nothing Was The Same, and talked about tucking a "sensitive rapper" back in his pajamas. Drake insisted there was no real issue. HM!!!!!!
SIDEBAR: THE STORY OF ADIDON
Kendrick is not the only person that fucking hates Drake. In 2018, the rapper feuded with one of his idols, Pusha T. If you don't know Pusha T, actually, yes you do: he is one half of Clipse, which had the smash hit Grindin'. If you have been in a public school where kids are slamming that beat out on the lunch tables you and I come from a shared heritage.
I don't want to get into the weeds here, but Drake and Pusha went back and forth until Pusha dropped The Story of Adidon, where Pusha revealed that Drake had secretly fathered a child with an a sex worker in France. At first Drake denied it but then like a year later he claimed his son as his own. He was shamed into caring for his son through rap beef. For years, I have maintained that the hardest bar in rap music is "You are hiding a child!"
youtube
This is important to note because this is the first time beef with Drake like, stuck. He has beefed with other people before, but usually he just pumped out a pop radio hit and dominated the airwaves, basically neutralizing whatever response he was gonna get. Drake would blame Kanye for this and then start beefing with Ye but that's a whole other thing.
LIKE THAT
This is where the current beef starts. In March, rapper Future, a former Drake collaborator, released an album produced by Metro Boomin called We Don't Trust You. Kendrick has a surprise feature on Like That where he says "motherfuck the big three, nigga it's just big me." This is a reference to the J. Cole and Drake song First Person Shooter, where the two refer to themselves and Kendrick as the big three of rap. Kendrick doesn't want Drake to speak his name even as a compliment.
youtube
J Cole dropped a response and then literally three days later apologized and removed it from streaming. What Did He Know??????
DRAKE RESPONDS
On April 13th, a leak of a song goes around Twitter and people think it might be Drake's Kendrick diss. IIRC a few days later it shows up on Spotify as a song called Push-Ups. He also releases a song called Taylor Made Freestyle, where he makes fun of Kendrick by using AI voices of two iconic California rappers, Tupac and Snoop Dogg. He also mentions Taylor Swift, saying that Kendrick is a bitch for moving his release dates around not to conflict with hers, and that his feature on Bad Blood was stupid.
Tupac's estate threatened Drake with a cease and desist and Drake took down the song.
EUPHORIA, 6:16 IN LA
On April 30th, Kendrick releases Euphoria, an extremely fucking mean song. He calls out Drake for being a culture vulture for black American culture, referencing the way that Drake will identify a music trend, go to that scene, and then package it and sell it under his own name. He really does go as far as to change his accent on some of his songs, it's super weird! At the end of the track, Kendrick disses Drake using the regional accent and slang from Toronto, Drake's hometown.
youtube
Three days later, Kendrick drops 6:16 In LA, which is much shorter and rougher than Euphoria, though just as nasty. Hilariously, the beat was produced by Jack Antonoff, Taylor Swift's major collaborator and main producer. The song also samples an Al Green song where Drake's uncle played guitar. Check Jack's faves on Twitter--I would love to know what Drake did to piss Taylor off!
FAMILY MATTERS AND A QUICK NOTE
On May 3rd, Drake drops Family Matter. On this track mostly he calls Kendrick short a lot. He also implies, but does not outright say, that Kendrick beats his wife Whitney, who is shown on the cover of Kendrick's album Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers.
youtube
Now, I want to mention this because it's a serious allegation but 1) rap beef is not journalism, sometimes these dudes just lie and 2) many of the things that Kendrick will go on to mention can be corroborated by outside sources, but this I haven't been able to. Also the way that Drake says it on the song does not really make me feel like Drake even means it, but is just searching around for something that will provoke and insult Kendrick. You may feel differently.
Not to say that Kendrick is perfect about women and abuse: Mr. Morale has some weird... stuff on it about women; Kendrick is just kind of a hotep; he threatened to take his music off Spotify if they took down R. Kelly's catalogue. No one in this conflict is perfect. I would argue Drake suffers from a much deeper level of sickness.
MEET THE GRAHAMS, NOT LIKE US
So, all this time, people had been wondering where the fuck Kendrick's response was. I thought he might not respond--it's not really his style. About an hour after Family Matters drops, Kendrick releases a song called Meet The Grahams. In previous songs, Kendrick alleged that Drake had a leak in his camp, and that the people around him dislike him so much they're feeding Kendrick dirt. Based on how quick this response came out, I would say that's probably true.
This song.... is fucking nasty. It's addressed to everyone in Drake's family, starting with his son Adonis. In the first verse, he apologizes to Adonis for having such a horrible father, and also says that he wishes Adonis's grandfather had worn a condom. By the time he's addressing Sandra, Drake's mother, he tells Sandra that he wishes men like Drake would die. He then insinuates that Drake is a pedophile.
youtube
Now, there have been many, many instances of Drake getting caught talking to underage Instagram models etc etc. The most famous example of this is when Millie Bobby Brown, then 14, said that she was friends with Drake and they text often. Drake at that time was 36. That's not fucking normal behavior.
Kendrick also says that Drake has a secret eleven year old daughter. Turns out the only bar harder than "you are hiding a child" is "you are hiding a second child."
That night--literally, I was brushing my fucking teeth and my husband was already asleep--Kendrick releases Not Like Us. On this track, he repeatedly calls Drake a pedophile over a fucking DJ Mustard beat.
youtube
It is a completely bonkers song. It made me feel like I was hallucinating. People have already started playing it in the club. Kendrick successfully used Drake's main tactic of releasing a club banger when there's beef against him. Like no shit, the Dodgers social media referenced the song in a recent tweet, this is a club banger about how Drake is a pedophile.
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On this song Kendrick also has a bar that insinuates that there at least six more diss tracks in the chamber. I have no idea what's going to happen and I'm kind of fucking terrified. Anyway thanks for reading, sorry if I left anything out.
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miraclesabound · 3 hours
Text
Okay, first of all: it is not at all surprising that tumblr is into this beef. at least half of being in fandom is beefing constantly, and the levels of haterdom that Kendrick Lamar has achieved are...... truly impressive and a little bit scary.
this is gonna be messy and not comprehensive but i've been thinking about this for like a week and there's just so much....... context. there's layers to this shit.
so let's start at the beginning.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
DRAKE AKA THE BOY AKA THE 6 GOD AKA THE TEFLON DON AKA CHAMPAGNE PAPI AKA WHEELCHAIR JIMMY
Aubrey Drake Graham is a rapper and actor from Toronto, Canada who I first became acquainted with from the television show Degrassi, where he played Jimmy Brooks, a hot headed jock who was later targeted in a school shooting and was paralyzed from the waist down. Everyone was skeptical when he started rapping in the 2010s, but he was a talented enough musician and business man--especially in his ability to chase and hop on trends--that he has become a very powerful figure in the music industry. One of his earliest massive hits is YOLO, a song that was inescapable when I was in college.
Drake has long had a reputation for being soft, firstly because he used to make music that women really fucked with (Hold On, We're Going Home is a great example, as is the video for Nice For What), and also because, well, he is a rapper from Canada who got his start on fucking Degrassi. This has very obviously bothered him throughout his career.
KENDRICK LAMAR DUCKWORTH AKA KENNY AKA KDOT AKA THE SECOND MOST PETTY PULITZER PRIZE WINNER
Kendrick is so different from Drake in almost every capacity. Kendrick is a rapper from Compton and from the start he was showered with critical acclaim for his technical skill but not necessarily the same kind of fame and success as Drake did. KDot has rapped a lot about his experiences as a gang member, and in many track reminds the listener that he has killed someone. His albums Good Kid M.A.A.D. City and To Pimp A Butterfly are considered modern day hip hop classics. They're really both incredible albums tbh but very very dense and emotionally effecting. Kendrick also won the 2018 Pulitzer Prize for music for his album DAMN. in 2018.
On top of that, Kendrick really holds it down for the culture--his song I and Alright became spontaneous protest chants during the George Floyd protests in 2020. I actually sort of can't listen to those songs anymore because I associate them with that movement so strongly!
PROLOGUE
It wasn't always beef between Drake and Kendrick. In fact, Drake had Kendrick open for him on tour in 2012 and Drake featured on the Kendrick single Poetic Justice. The only evidence of animosity between the two occurred after Kendrick's infamous verse on Big Sean's song Control, where Kendrick essentially named a bunch of rappers and said he was coming for them to be the greatest rapper of all time. Drake was one of the people he named.
Many people interpreted this as a diss, but Kendrick didn't respond to anyone iirc. At the 2013 BET Awards, Kendrick's verse in the cypher referenced Drake's album Nothing Was The Same, and talked about tucking a "sensitive rapper" back in his pajamas. Drake insisted there was no real issue. HM!!!!!!
SIDEBAR: THE STORY OF ADIDON
Kendrick is not the only person that fucking hates Drake. In 2018, the rapper feuded with one of his idols, Pusha T. If you don't know Pusha T, actually, yes you do: he is one half of Clipse, which had the smash hit Grindin'. If you have been in a public school where kids are slamming that beat out on the lunch tables you and I come from a shared heritage.
I don't want to get into the weeds here, but Drake and Pusha went back and forth until Pusha dropped The Story of Adidon, where Pusha revealed that Drake had secretly fathered a child with an a sex worker in France. At first Drake denied it but then like a year later he claimed his son as his own. He was shamed into caring for his son through rap beef. For years, I have maintained that the hardest bar in rap music is "You are hiding a child!"
youtube
This is important to note because this is the first time beef with Drake like, stuck. He has beefed with other people before, but usually he just pumped out a pop radio hit and dominated the airwaves, basically neutralizing whatever response he was gonna get. Drake would blame Kanye for this and then start beefing with Ye but that's a whole other thing.
LIKE THAT
This is where the current beef starts. In March, rapper Future, a former Drake collaborator, released an album produced by Metro Boomin called We Don't Trust You. Kendrick has a surprise feature on Like That where he says "motherfuck the big three, nigga it's just big me." This is a reference to the J. Cole and Drake song First Person Shooter, where the two refer to themselves and Kendrick as the big three of rap. Kendrick doesn't want Drake to speak his name even as a compliment.
youtube
J Cole dropped a response and then literally three days later apologized and removed it from streaming. What Did He Know??????
DRAKE RESPONDS
On April 13th, a leak of a song goes around Twitter and people think it might be Drake's Kendrick diss. IIRC a few days later it shows up on Spotify as a song called Push-Ups. He also releases a song called Taylor Made Freestyle, where he makes fun of Kendrick by using AI voices of two iconic California rappers, Tupac and Snoop Dogg. He also mentions Taylor Swift, saying that Kendrick is a bitch for moving his release dates around not to conflict with hers, and that his feature on Bad Blood was stupid.
Tupac's estate threatened Drake with a cease and desist and Drake took down the song.
EUPHORIA, 6:16 IN LA
On April 30th, Kendrick releases Euphoria, an extremely fucking mean song. He calls out Drake for being a culture vulture for black American culture, referencing the way that Drake will identify a music trend, go to that scene, and then package it and sell it under his own name. He really does go as far as to change his accent on some of his songs, it's super weird! At the end of the track, Kendrick disses Drake using the regional accent and slang from Toronto, Drake's hometown.
youtube
Three days later, Kendrick drops 6:16 In LA, which is much shorter and rougher than Euphoria, though just as nasty. Hilariously, the beat was produced by Jack Antonoff, Taylor Swift's major collaborator and main producer. The song also samples an Al Green song where Drake's uncle played guitar. Check Jack's faves on Twitter--I would love to know what Drake did to piss Taylor off!
FAMILY MATTERS AND A QUICK NOTE
On May 3rd, Drake drops Family Matter. On this track mostly he calls Kendrick short a lot. He also implies, but does not outright say, that Kendrick beats his wife Whitney, who is shown on the cover of Kendrick's album Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers.
youtube
Now, I want to mention this because it's a serious allegation but 1) rap beef is not journalism, sometimes these dudes just lie and 2) many of the things that Kendrick will go on to mention can be corroborated by outside sources, but this I haven't been able to. Also the way that Drake says it on the song does not really make me feel like Drake even means it, but is just searching around for something that will provoke and insult Kendrick. You may feel differently.
Not to say that Kendrick is perfect about women and abuse: Mr. Morale has some weird... stuff on it about women; Kendrick is just kind of a hotep; he threatened to take his music off Spotify if they took down R. Kelly's catalogue. No one in this conflict is perfect. I would argue Drake suffers from a much deeper level of sickness.
MEET THE GRAHAMS, NOT LIKE US
So, all this time, people had been wondering where the fuck Kendrick's response was. I thought he might not respond--it's not really his style. About an hour after Family Matters drops, Kendrick releases a song called Meet The Grahams. In previous songs, Kendrick alleged that Drake had a leak in his camp, and that the people around him dislike him so much they're feeding Kendrick dirt. Based on how quick this response came out, I would say that's probably true.
This song.... is fucking nasty. It's addressed to everyone in Drake's family, starting with his son Adonis. In the first verse, he apologizes to Adonis for having such a horrible father, and also says that he wishes Adonis's grandfather had worn a condom. By the time he's addressing Sandra, Drake's mother, he tells Sandra that he wishes men like Drake would die. He then insinuates that Drake is a pedophile.
youtube
Now, there have been many, many instances of Drake getting caught talking to underage Instagram models etc etc. The most famous example of this is when Millie Bobby Brown, then 14, said that she was friends with Drake and they text often. Drake at that time was 36. That's not fucking normal behavior.
Kendrick also says that Drake has a secret eleven year old daughter. Turns out the only bar harder than "you are hiding a child" is "you are hiding a second child."
That night--literally, I was brushing my fucking teeth and my husband was already asleep--Kendrick releases Not Like Us. On this track, he repeatedly calls Drake a pedophile over a fucking DJ Mustard beat.
youtube
It is a completely bonkers song. It made me feel like I was hallucinating. People have already started playing it in the club. Kendrick successfully used Drake's main tactic of releasing a club banger when there's beef against him. Like no shit, the Dodgers social media referenced the song in a recent tweet, this is a club banger about how Drake is a pedophile.
Tumblr media
On this song Kendrick also has a bar that insinuates that there at least six more diss tracks in the chamber. I have no idea what's going to happen and I'm kind of fucking terrified. Anyway thanks for reading, sorry if I left anything out.
3K notes · View notes
miraclesabound · 5 hours
Text
I mean, I think Tommy will know anyway!
37 Minutes [pre-outbreak!Joel x f!reader]
Read on Ao3
Fandom: The Last of Us
Ship: Joel Miller x you/f!reader
Tags/warnings: Cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, (kind of) forced orgasm, squirting, PiV sex.
Summary: You wake up one morning needing Joel, and he comes as soon as you let him know that. And while his life may be busy, he takes the time to thoroughly satisfy you.
Words: 2,092
A/N: This is inspired by this post by @swiftispunk. It came across my dash around Easter and it's been living rent-free in my head since then. Finally had time to write it. Enjoy!
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It’s just one of those mornings when you wake up with that itch that your own hand or your box of toys can’t do anything about.
Getting out of bed and pulling on a t-shirt, you grab your phone and go out to the kitchen to put the coffee on. You send Joel a text, short and to the point: Got time?
He calls you immediately. You smile as you press the green receiver.
”That was fast.”
”You read my mind,” he tells you in a muffled voice. ”I woke up thinking about you.”
”Then come over. And you could’ve texted me that.”
”Texting takes twice as long, I ain’t got time. See you in fifteen.”
You barely get to finish your coffee before you hear Joel’s truck on your driveway, and you’re not even by the front door when he knocks on it. As soon as you open the door, he’s through it, arms around your waist, lips on yours. He’s in a hurry, you can tell, but you love these hurried meetings, if only because he wants you so much. You love being wanted this much, this hard, this desperately.
He tastes of coffee, same as you, and a little sweat on his upper lip. It’s early, but the temperature is already in the mid-eighties. Your AC is keeping your home nice and cool, though.
You shove the door close and wrap your arms around Joel's neck, kissing him back and groaning when his hands slide down to your ass, fingers digging into the soft flesh as he pushes you up against him. He is already stiff, and you wonder if he’s been so during his entire drive here.
"Don't have long," he lets you know between the kisses. "Gotta get to a building site across town in an hour, and - "
"Then make it count," you cut him off, and Joel reacts immediately, grabbing the hem of your t-shirt, and pulling the garment off of you. He presses his lips on yours again, hands on your tits as he walks you backwards to the bedroom. The kiss breaks only for as long as it takes him to get rid of his own clothes before he pushes you down on the bed. He immediately kneels before you and pulls down your panties before leaning in to kiss your cunt. You sigh out the first little hint of pleasure, but that sigh turns into a moan as Joel wastes no time teasing you. His tongue, quick and agile, starts to work your clit.
“Joel…!” you keen, legs opening wide to give him better access between your thick thighs. He’s sloppy and loud, but not aimless in his endeavor. His hands travel up your thighs to your belly, then to your breasts, where he rolls your nipples between forefingers and thumbs. You buck against him, keening to encourage him to go on, take hold of his hands and push them against your tits to make him grab them. He hums against your clit, looking up and grinning at your enthusiasm. How he can smile and have his tongue do that to you at the same time is beyond you, but you do not dwell on it as Joel puts it into a higher gear. Tongue on your clit, he pushes you quickly towards your peak, and when the pleasure turns more intense, you start to grind against him, your fingers plaiting with his and holding on, head thrown back to your Yes, yes, yesyesyes! until his tongue takes you over the edge. Your legs twitch as you try to catch your breath, but Joel doesn’t give you much of a respite.
“’nother one, beautiful,” he murmurs, licking his lips and letting go of your hands. “You taste so fuckin’ good.”
He attacks your clit again, licking, pushing, and prodding. Your hips buck up but are immediately locked down to the mattress by one of his strong arms placed across your lower abdomen. Your pussy clenches when you feel his fingertips at your opening. The second after, he slides two fingers inside you, his tongue and lips still on your clit as he finds that magical spot on your front wall. You shout out, back arching off the mattress, hands digging into the sheets as he massages that spot.
“God, Joel, oh God, don’t stop, fuckfuckfuck!”
He’s breathing heavily against your folds, but his tongue doesn’t stop, and his fingers are insisting on drawing a second orgasm from you. It’s almost too much, but you woke up wanting him, needing him, so you let your mind go blank and surrender, your moans turning more and more breathless the further you go. When you come, there is no sound, only a momentary stiffness in your entire body before you fall apart. You’re trembling all over, but Joel still goes on licking you. Your clit is on fire, your pussy is clenching, but goddamn him, he doesn’t stop.
“Joel,” you cry out, “stop, I can’t, I need a rest!”
“One more,” he tells you gasps, letting your clit be for just a moment. “I know you can, baby, be good for me now, gimme one more.”
You shake your head and press your thighs together, trying to crawl away, but Joel exhales sharply and grabs your waist.
“Just stay where you are, sweetheart, it’ll be over soon.”
He pries open your legs again, and this time he plants his mouth on your clit, and sucks. Your upper back shoots up from the bed but Joel already has his arms around your thighs, holding them open, locking his head firmly between them. The pleasure is almost painful in its intensity, shooting through your entire body, and you’re desperately trying to hold onto his head, the sheets, yourself, anything to relieve the force with which he’s sucking your overstimulated clit. But Joel doesn’t budge, and when you start to kick, he gets up onto the bed and lifts your lower body up into the air. Never once does his lips leave your clit, and you feel his scorching, labored breath on you, but nothing else suggests that he’s having any trouble lifting half of your heavy body off the bed. You kick, and he growls, finally letting go, but only to grab he backs of your thighs and bend you double. Your swollen pussy is obscenely on display, and you don’t get to ask him to wait before he slots his lips over your clit again.
You’re helplessly trapped, bent double and held in place by Joel’s strong builder’s hands, moaning and cursing until the pressure becomes too much. You hear a splash, Joel who hums and slurps, and you laugh without knowing why. Warm liquid is running down between your ass cheeks, and Joel latches back onto your clit, this time gulping the wet before getting a hold.
The third orgasm finally tears through you, and Joel releases you to tremble before him. You want to close your legs, but your hamstrings are so intensely stretched that you have to roll over onto your side to press your thighs together. Your clit is throbbing painfully, the skin around your pussy is grated raw by Joel’s facial hair, but he’s already nudging you to return onto your back.
“You did great, darlin’,” he praises you thickly, his tongue stiff after its service. “Just lemme grab a rubber, and I’ll fuck you good, okay?”
You whimper in return and blink your eyes open. Joel’s face, blurry at the edges, is somewhere above you, smiling at you before disappearing out of sight. You can dimly see the ceiling fan rotations, but truth is you can barely see at all, so you rub at your eyes before drawing your fingers through your hair.
Joel returns next to you, and you dimly hear the rustle of the condom wrapper. He takes his place between your legs, opening them gently.
“Be a good girl for me, or I’ll eat you out again,” he asks you sweetly, and you know you won’t survive that, so you let your knees fall to the sides, even if your hips are getting tense.
He slides into you slowly but surely, one inch after the other until he’s fully sheathed. Bending over to kiss you, his tongue slow now, he gives you a moment to adjust before he straightens his back, takes you by the waist, and starts to pump into you. It’s fast and shallow, and he gets breathless quickly, huffing out each quick breath before sucking in new air in time with his thrusts. You don’t even know if you’re breathing at all anymore, but you’re catching up with him now, and raise your hips slightly to meet his thrusts. He growls and comes down onto his forearms, getting in deeper. You embrace him, pull him down and into you, guide his head right next to yours where he hides his face in your neck as you pant your encouragement into his ear. You kiss, bite, and suck his neck, scratch your nails down his back, and slap his ass.
“Harder, Joel, harder, I need it harder!”
He snarls, his head snaps up from your neck as he gulps air into his lungs. His arms curl around your head as he picks up the pace. His cock is so deep, so hard, filling your pussy to the brink of annihilation it seems, and he doesn’t stop, he just goes on and on fucking you, his body slick with sweat that rubs off on you, his breaths growing increasingly audible for each thrust.
“Fuck!” he finally grunts before pulling out. “Roll over, baby.”
You obey, getting on all fours, and are immediately shoved down onto your chest as he slams into you. Hands on your hips, he goes hard and fast, groaning now as he breaths, one hand scrambling for a grip on your lower back without finding. His cock keeps assaulting your pussy, you are in heaven, and you still keep asking him to go harder. He pushes you down, hands pressing into your lower back as he goes on fucking you, reaching impossibly deeper each time, until you’re screaming and have to muffle yourself by pushing your face down into the sheets. Joel swears, his hips start to move erratically, and then he drives himself deep inside and stays there as he roars, pushing even deeper.
He slumps down next to you, panting like after a marathon. You turn your head to better breathe, but you can’t turn move your legs. Joel lies next to you, eyes closed, mouth open as he draws shallow breath after shallow breath, skin glistening with sweat. You want to say something but have to lick your lips several times before you can form words.
“Fuck, but you’re good.”
He blinks, and slowly turns his head towards you.
“What?”
“You’re so fucking good at this.”
“Am I?”
His cluelessness is adorable.
“Yes, you are, Joel!”
“I don’t know…” He makes a move that resembles a shrug. “I just enjoy you.”
Like this is just any ordinary fuck. You smile widely, a new kind of warmth spreading inside you. Joel just is that kind of humble person.
He now draws a deep breath, sighs it out, and then sits up. He leans over you to kiss your back, shoulder, neck, and finally mouth.
“I gotta go.”
“Sure.”
He leaves the bed, throwing a glance at the bedside clock radio.
“37 minutes. That’s a new record.”
“Jesus Christ.”
You hear the rustle of clothes and manage to roll over onto your back. Everything hurts so good, and you’re grateful you don’t have work today.
Joel sighs. “You look so fucking pretty, baby.”
You hum, smiling at him. As he picks up his t-shirt, you remember something. 
”Put it on the right way.”
“Huh?”
“You had your t-shirt on backwards and inside out when you got here,” you giggle. “Make sure it’s the right way now.”
“But then Tommy will notice, and he’ll know where I’ve been,” Joel points out pragmatically, still putting the t-shirt on the right way. It immediately gets dark spots in the front.
“I think he’ll know either way,” you yawn. Joel returns to bed for one last kiss.
“Fuck, I wanna stay.”
“I want that too.” You cup his cheek to keep his lips on yours for a moment longer.
“Mmm…” he hums into your mouth. “See you this weekend?”
“Absolutely.”
He presses one last kiss on your mouth before leaving you to your boneless rest.
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miraclesabound · 6 hours
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Series Masterlist
MDNI 18+
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Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish x f!Reader
Synopsis: No established timeline. Random series of what life is like when Soap is on leave and embracing his inner workout menace
fluff, explicit smut, unprotected p in v, some exhibitionism, he's my Dom Soap
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Slippery Soap *** wc 2.7k (birth of gym rat soap)
Recovery ***
Bench Press ***
Soap Circuit ***
Grocery Bag Warm ***
Wine Dine 69 **
Endurance Training **
Protein Snack **
I'm your God now ***
Masked Menace ***
Sweating out the Toxins ***
Heart Rate ***
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Gremlin Soap (Gym Rat Soap art)
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miraclesabound · 6 hours
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miraclesabound · 9 hours
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"Do you know what day it is?" I answered that it was the fourth of May. She shook her head as she said again:
"Oh, yes! I know that! I know that, but do you know what day it is?" On my saying that I did not understand, she went on:
"It is the eve of St. George's Day. Do you not know that to-night, when the clock strikes midnight, all the evil things in the world will have full sway? Do you know where you are going, and what you are going to?"
Jonathan Harker's journal, May 4.
Fun facts:
1. Saint George was Vlad the Third's saint patron.
2. By the Orthodox Church St George's day is on May 6. In this holiday you mustn't work, you should praise your animals and reward shepherds.
3. The eve of this day was a dangerous time, when the evil creatures caused the terrible events to happen to the village people and their animals. For example, they steal milk from cows.
4. Saint George also has the function of wolves shepherd. There is a Slavic saying "What's in wolf's teeth is given to them by Saint George".
5. Saint George is the saint patron of my city, and I know his iconic image since my childhood.
Finally, I got this funny picture, because there were very picturesque thoughts about Dracula running away from St George in my head.
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miraclesabound · 9 hours
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Purposely exhausting him is part of the strategy, I suspect.
Nina reads Dracula 🦇
May 5th
My good friend Jonathan has made it to Dracula castle at last! Although his travels were a little more stressful than he would have liked. I’m not worried though!!! He’s always sooo dramatic!!!
So what do we start with?
There are many odd things to put down, and, lest who reads them may fancy that I dined too well before I left Bistritz, let me put down my dinner exactly.
Of course. 🤦‍♀️ I sure hope this love for food won’t be used to quiet his survival instincts later in the evening…!
I could hear a lot of words often repeated, queer words, for there were many nationalities in the crowd; so I quietly got my polyglot dictionary from my bag and looked them out. I must say they were not cheering to me, for amongst them were "Ordog"—Satan, "pokol"—hell, "stregoica"—witch, "vrolok" and "vlkoslak"—both of which mean the same thing, one being Slovak and the other Servian for something that is either were-wolf or vampire. (Mem., I must ask the Count about these superstitions) (😢)
As he spoke he smiled, and the lamplight fell on a hard-looking mouth, with very red lips and sharp-looking teeth, as white as ivory. One of my companions whispered to another the line from Burger's "Lenore": — "Denn die Todten reiten schnell"— ("For the dead travel fast.") (😡)
THIS IS NOT NICE!!!!! We don’t judge people based on appearances!!! So what if he has fangs and claws and turns into a bat when he thinks no one’s looking? Down with these unrealistic beauty standards!!!
As we wound on our endless way, and the sun sank lower and lower behind us, the shadows of the evening began to creep round us. […]
Sometimes, as the road was cut through the pine woods that seemed in the darkness to be closing down upon us, great masses of greyness, which here and there bestrewed the trees, produced a peculiarly weird and solemn effect, which carried on the thoughts and grim fancies engendered earlier in the evening, when the falling sunset threw into strange relief the ghost-like clouds which amongst the Carpathians seem to wind ceaselessly through the valleys. […]
The only light was the flickering rays of our own lamps, in which the steam from our hard-driven horses rose in a white cloud. […]
It grew colder and colder still, and fine, powdery snow began to fall (!), so that soon we and all around us were covered with a white blanket. (!!!)
Environmental storytelling… snow like a shroud over my good friend Jonathan… I’m not worried at all! ❄️
[…] but just then the moon, sailing through the black clouds, appeared behind the jagged crest of a beetling, pine-clad rock, and by its light I saw around us a ring of wolves, with white teeth and lolling red tongues, with long, sinewy limbs and shaggy hair.
🎶 TAAAAALE AS OOOLD AS TIIIIIIIIIIME 🎶
Was this a customary incident in the life of a solicitor's clerk sent out to explain the purchase of a London estate to a foreigner? (Completely customary. Please carry on.)
Solicitor's clerk! Mina would not like that. (🥺) Solicitor—for just before leaving London I got word that my examination was successful; and I am now a full-blown solicitor! I began to rub my eyes and pinch myself to see if I were awake.
Oh so we do find out what he came here for!!! I love that Mina supports his career and that the thought of her brings him comfort… even though there’s nothing to fear:
"Welcome to my house! Enter freely and of your own will!"
"Welcome to my house. Come freely. Go safely; and leave something of the happiness you bring!"
For this is perfectly normal alive human behaviour!!! 🦇
The Count himself came forward and took off the cover of a dish, and I fell to at once on an excellent roast chicken. This, with some cheese and a salad and a bottle of old Tokay, of which I had two glasses, was my supper.
You may fascinate a human by giving him a piece of cheese 🧀
His face was a strong—a very strong—aquiline, with high bridge of the thin nose and peculiarly arched nostrils; with lofty domed forehead, and hair growing scantily round the temples but profusely elsewhere. His eyebrows were very massive, almost meeting over the nose, and with bushy hair that seemed to curl in its own profusion. The mouth, so far as I could see it under the heavy moustache, was fixed and rather cruel-looking, with peculiarly sharp white teeth; these protruded over the lips, whose remarkable ruddiness showed astonishing vitality in a man of his years. For the rest, his ears were pale, and at the tops extremely pointed; the chin was broad and strong, and the cheeks firm though thin. The general effect was one of extraordinary pallor.
Hitherto I had noticed the backs of his hands as they lay on his knees in the firelight, and they had seemed rather white and fine; but seeing them now close to me, I could not but notice that they were rather coarse—broad, with squat fingers. Strange to say, there were hairs in the centre of the palm. The nails were long and fine, and cut to a sharp point. As the Count leaned over me and his hands touched me, I could not repress a shudder. […]
I am all in a sea of wonders. I doubt; I fear; I think strange things, which I dare not confess to my own soul. God keep me, if only for the sake of those dear to me!
MY GOOD FRIEND JONATHAN YOU HAVE A FIANCÉE/GIRLFRIEND/MINA
You know what, I’m sure it’s just exhaustion talking. He’ll see more clearly after a good night’s sleep! 💤
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miraclesabound · 11 hours
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Imagine Richie with a partner who's even more of a hothead than he used to be and having to keep them out of fights...
Reader: So that asshole at work got too chummy again...
Richie: Shit - need me to talk to him?
Reader: No, because there is but one course for me to follow - I'LL FUCKIN KILL HIM MYSELF!
Richie: NO!
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miraclesabound · 16 hours
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Mediasch with only a light meal seems like a bad idea, but I'm also a bit of a stick in the mud with these things.
I wonder when the last time is that some poor soul went or was compelled to the castle - the locals seems to have spread the word quickly to come and see Jon off on his perilous quest.
To think such glorious countryside can be so ominous! I don't blame the people one bit for setting up shrines where they can.
Do the other passengers and the coachman think that they would be punished as well? The new driver does demonstrate prodigious strength - I don't think I would want to drink around him either.
I still hold to my theory that the driver was purposely riding in circles so that Jonathan couldn't get his bearings. It's a conceit I remember from a Sherlock Holmes story.
"Enter freely and of your own will!" - I hear what you're doing, you tricky excuse for nobility...also, even in the modern day, it would still be weird for someone of the Count's stature to not have a doorman, right?
"He...has grown to manhood in my service." Another short but very evocative line!
I've missed the detail about the pointed ears before!
There are plenty of hunters in the city, Count, they're just of a different kind.
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miraclesabound · 16 hours
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full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009
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miraclesabound · 22 hours
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Jonathan is NOT trapped in a time loop Jonathan is trapped with a toddler who keeps asking him to tell about the time mama and dada killed a vampire with his uncles (and aunt).
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miraclesabound · 1 day
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miraclesabound · 1 day
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The Bear, 2x09.
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