mindmattersofkc
Mind Matters
This is my personal space. A collection of my thoughts. Published journal. Outlet of my feelings. Things I wanted to do. Things I wanted to have. Emotions I wanted out. People I am with. Places I've visited. People. Fashion. Places. Feelings. Love. I love to write but not a writer. This space is where I can become what I'm not.
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So today, I found out from a cardiologist that I have a heart problem. Don't know how extreme it is just yet. Was told to have my heart checked via ultrasound as my ecg result doesn't look well.
Tomorrw, will find out how it is really.
Whatever the result may be. All I pray is for Him to be with me as I go through this.
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My baby love 馃け馃徎 https://www.instagram.com/p/CEYvQo3DbWZgFxx15WOIQDRjFfh-wU-f2WuO840/?igshid=1xann95jonxy1
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I'm one month today! 馃槉 I feel really fuzzy and cranky most of the time. I could latch for more than 2 hours straight. I could sleep in my Momma's arms for an hour or so and the moment she puts me down, I'm wide awake! No, I don't want to sleep alone. I just wanna be wrapped around Momma's arms, close to her heart. Momma said I'm going through growth spurt that's why. It's been over two weeks now. Here's to more sleepless nights, Momma! 馃槉 鉂わ笍鉂わ笍Ethan #GrowthSpurt #BabiesOfInstagram #OneMonthEthan https://www.instagram.com/p/CD50RXejoDw92Dvv7oprrYa3Qo1CbcOmEisabg0/?igshid=1fdnl1ti7nyir
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Tired and sleep deprived momma. 馃槕 There are those chill days with bubba but most days, restless. Ugh... growth spurt! (Bubba is outside with lola so I could rest for few minutes while he's in good mood #MilkMakingMom #FTM #OneMonth #PadedeMom https://www.instagram.com/p/CD5zLiuDHOGdxa5EvEo993IDRe7KtKPqsBnqaQ0/?igshid=155i1dx571pe8
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Bubba's not a fan of 馃こ selfies but definitely a fan of milk. 馃嵓 馃榿 Took a quick photo before he unlilatch again. 馃槀 This is us after 4 weeks. https://www.instagram.com/p/CDzpqJzDNaBsLPUQbO27tgjyh3P3-299-5b1kY0/?igshid=1flgb41z1nxt6
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There are days when it's easy but often than not, it's hard.
-Motherhood.
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In love with you everyday. 鉂わ笍鉂わ笍鉂わ笍 https://www.instagram.com/p/CDUxCSxDXDdb07Tk6MvklvkLzF1J4JubbLOlRM0/?igshid=1oqyzje9xv26r
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Eight days of being a mother. How time flies. I give high regard to every mother out there who endured what I'm going through now. First couple of days was pure bliss. I got to sleep and recharge myself until baby was sent to our room.
Until sleepless nights came where I only get naps for few minutes and baby's up again. He's got different sleeping patterns daily. They're unpredictable. One day he's so well behaved and let's me get some decent sleep whereas another, he's just so fuzzy.
My spirits down as i write this. Not because I'm not happy. I am. Thankful even. It's just that it's so difficult. That it would be this hard. Painful. I wanted to give my best to my child but how can I do so when I feel. really uncomfortable.
My breast were swollen for two or three days now. I don't mind waking up so many times and sleep less but if feeding my baby meant unbearable pain whenever he latches and sucks causing uncontrollable tears, that if there's easier way than this, I'd chose it.
But for now, all I can do is to let those tears flow, clench my fist, hold on to something for support, scream, cry, and breath in order for me to feed my child.
I thank God for the strength that helps me keep going despite the pain and hardship.
Laters.
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Bubba's first night at home ain't easy as I thought. I. wonder what he's feeling. His behaviour is unusual compared to when we were at the hospital.
He feels uneasy. Just wanting to latch the whole time. Cries when milk has been taken away.
He usually latches maximum of 30 minutes. Now, he won't even let go of my breast. Poor baby. I wish i knew what he wants.
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#TGIF #OurDailyBread https://www.instagram.com/p/CCcNrBzDmQ1dqBr_G7PEGTJLu7QsJ4n2_B99a80/?igshid=1j6uri11edaze
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"Mum, is that food I see?" -Biggieboo #aspinsofinstagram #AsPin #doggo #dogsofinstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CCZZt3ZDnF7ZQdkNsxDnCvwc-9BuwSCV-2Pp6Y0/?igshid=mywe5di1layr
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A good life is a collection of happy moments. Happy Wednesday! https://www.instagram.com/p/CCW2eytDGlwQGjDBmLcQhNLhbnedGqQjyVe2K40/?igshid=69yyvbklajet
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Trust His Timing
I was tryin to get pregnant for over two years. Frustration, depression, envy, pressure, disappointment, and anxiety. I felt all those during the process. I wasn't getting any younger and i felt the need to bear a child as soon as possible.
Getting married wasn't even my priority anymore. I had to have a child, I told myself.聽
One day, I decided to lift it all up to Him. I fervently prayed that in His time, it may happen.聽
My colleagues were getting pregnant one by one. Someone who's been trying for more than five years of marriage, another who's bearing their second child after a year in between, someone younger than me by two years whom I thought has no plans of having a baby yet got pregnant, and another who's also having her second child. Who's left out? Me.
But you know what, it never affected me coz I learned to trust His timing. They'd often tease me and say, "sana ikaw na ang next". I tell them, "darating din ako dyan sa tamang panahon".
I admit, we weren't religiously going to church. On Sundays, we just stay home and rest. I'm guilty of not honoring that commandment so I thought that makes me less deserving of His blessings. So I thought, why not make it a habit to read at least a verse a day from the Bible. I downloaded Our Daily Bread from the Playstore and decided to read everyday.
My soul started to be fed spiritually. I share my daily reflections thru my FB stories.
I went on with the flow. Never pressured. Bought some products believed to be effective for fertility to help myself.
Right after finishing the box of juice we ordered, wish granted. He made those products as instruments to answer my prayers.聽
So that's part of this journey.聽
Believe, trust, and pray.聽 God is good. He listens and does what is best for you. Just trust His timing.
xo, KC
PS. Sharing my story really late. I鈥檓 on my 38th week as I write this. The only time I get to sit and write my thoughts.
#MakingMemoriesOfUs#D&MK#PregnancyJourney MommaMaria#Blessed#AnsweredPrayer#FirstTimeMom#OurDailyBread#MyPregnancyJourney
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