Viewing of Grades

I’m studying at Mapua Institute of Technology, today is the viewing of grades. I kind of know that i have a failing grades, yes with S cause its not just one but three failing grades. I’m not proud of course, but as of now I’m having second thoughts about my course, I have a problem.

At the moment my mind is in chaos because what I really want to happen now is to be accepted at a job. I really need a job. What will I do?

Rejected

I had been rejected by the company that I had an interview. I failed the sales talk part. I don't know what to say. I'm upset and disappointed. Well its the part of everyones life, to feel disappointed and upset. Sometimes it makes us even more stronger than we think, but others still leaves them with disappointment, and it gets worst. I wanted to have a job now and get over this problem already but we all know that its not that easy to do it. Especially when you don't know what to do. God I wish I'm a vampire, just a little compel, and then bwala, victory. But life is not easy. Life is supposed to be hard, if your life is easy it means you're living in a wrong way. Adviced my friend to make an action, because that is what lacks her. But then I realize that is my problem too. I lack of action. I always think, talk, but i never even try to move. And its hard to move.

I have an interview later

Ughhh... until now I can't believe that I have an interview. Its my first time so I'm not really good at this. But I always think of what I want and my family. I want them to be happy, because of me, because of what I will do. I always wanted to help them. Ever since when I was a kid, they always sacrifice. Sacrifice everything. I realize it now that is the most selfish thing that they ever did to theirselves, because they let me be happy even though they already going down. I haven't done anything that can make them feel worthy or proud, so I really hate it. But now its time, its my turn to sacrifice and make them happy. I dont need anything, just their supports will do. Good Luck to me.

Her name is Joey. She is sweet and crazy. Always wants to have fun. Adopt her please! Hahaha just joking, I love this cat.

Answer that burns

The reason why I question things because I'm confused. Confused to my life. After all the things that I had done, everything is not worth it because thats not the life that i want for my self. I want something adventure and surprises me. Something that will make me think how I got here, how do I know this, how I became rich, then I will recall every single moment of my life, and  will never find an answer because if I find the answer it means my life is falling apart.   Its 2:26 in the morning. It is true this time makes us question, makes us curious about something that we dont want to bother. Its funny that, ever since kindergarten, I only questioned "What is my problem that makes them think that I'm a monster, that I'm bad, that  I'm a loser." Everytime I question that to myself, until now, well the difference is now I know what the answer is but I dont care, because I know that it will hurt me.   Nobody's perfect. Everyone knows that but why do they still judge, why are they insulting one another. The only answer is Pride.

The reality that hunts me.

My life is a complete mess. I don't know what happened, you thought you're drinking wine, but its just a water. Everything is a lie. Every minute I'm realizing what my parents did wrong, what I did wrong. Thinking why I did that makes it wrong, do I have a problem besides from this and that, or am I just doing this because I'm tired of this shit already. I don't know. Next week my parents will know that I failed all my subjects that the sacrifices are not worth it. My dad is doing everything just to make sure that I graduate, that I will have the life that they wanted, it should been them but they failed so they are passing it to me. All the failures. They want me to change it. They want me to put an end on it. But the problem is I dont know what to do. I dont know how to make them proud, to make them happy, to do the things that they want for me. This life is not for me. I want to put an end to it but how. How am I gonna put my parents feet to a place that has everything. How to get all of it. Education they said. Education is the key, they said. Yeah all right thats the key, but did they ever thing that dream, love, and happiness is the key. If you don't have that three stupid words, you will never feel the success, even if you finish college. Maybe you think I already have it. I still haven't got any of it. I don't even have anything. I haven't done anything to my life yet, and it makes me mad. It makes me feel this depression. It makes me question everything that is happening. How I wish I know the answer, but I dont.

I was alone at the hallway, waiting for my friends to end their classes. I am sitting at a desk for engineer, pondering about my future, which I think is near on to me already. (Wrong! wrong! grammar) I mean is, I'm about to enter the reality. Its hard to say that, when you graduated from college, its easy to find a job, yes its easy, but how am I gonna live with it. Now and then, I found myself thinking what might happen to me, am I gonna be rich, am I gonna work for money or the money will work to me. Sometimes I felt like my life will change in just a second. Something will happened. Do I need to prepare myself, or am I just gonna live through it. I want to be rich, I want to give everything to my parents because I think all the sacrifices and hardwork, can't replace the things that I can give to them someday.

I really love this part

Oh my god what is this? Are they gonna get married? Or something.

A song that always make me scream YEAH!!!!

How to manage your depression?

Just talk to God.

Its not the end

Have you ever felt broken? Like your heart is about to explode, literally, because of how painful you’ve been.

I have felt that, I fell in love with my friend, that somehow can’t have any connection with. We don’t like each other in a romantic way, and I just see him as a guy who fell in love with my friend.

I fell in love to the guy who fell in love to my friend. Its really weird and ridiculous. I didn’t saw it yet, that I liked him, till he approached me and told me “ I’m the only person who will catch you if you ever fall. Only and will only be me. Trust me.”

I was really puzzled that day. We was just shooting for our project, and I just took a peek on a cliff, and then he said that. That day was really hard, and stressful but when he said that to me, I felt safe and confused. He never tell me anything about being careful, or anything. He was always mean to me, then that happened.

That was a long time ago, and until now I still remember every detailed, what clothes he was wearing and who he was with.

I never knew he was that sweet. I don’t have a clue, and I regret everything. Every stupid things that I did infront of him. He was the one for me, but of course, you can’t get everything. Even though you like each other.

There will always be the thing that can never happen, is him to love me. I guess that is life, one day you thought you are in a fairytale, the next day you’re in the reality that sucks.

Well, that is life, you need to be hurt to move forward.

Now he is with someone. Me? I’m waiting, dealing with reality, and fighting the world.

Good luck guys, everything is tough, but you can take that. God never gives any problem that can’t be solve, just trust him.

Happy Blogging. Enjoy ✌✌👍😊

I wanna scream ‘I love you’ from the top of my lungs, but I’m afraid that someone else will hear me

A (Shipped) Gold Standard - Fall out boy

Its been a long time

Wow, I was mesmerized to my blog, its not that good, I know, but the sense of it, it really hit me. I ri-read all my post, and realized that I've been advicing everyone, except myself. *laughs Its been 3years since I've put something in here. I created a new account because I thought that I forgot the password on this one, that I realize I didn't, and thanks to my boredom and procastination, that I have opened this account again, and re-read all the post that still amazed me. I 'm not making myself feel good or something, but if you, like right now, have a time to read all the blogs that I've been posting, you will see the sense. Its not about me, its about us, and the universe. I mean, for the past 3 years that I've been wondering what my life will be, and just noticing it now, that I've improved myself. Yes, I already improved myself. I'm a lady now, I think I matured a little. I think like an adult, but even though I improved, there is always one thing that we keep on finding. And that is ourselves. As I said a while ago, I've been advicing everyone, but me, and now I ri-read my blog, that I realize how amazing it is that it made me calm a little. I realize that I just need to find myself, I didnt say that I've already found myself, but I adviced myself. While I was reading, it really hit me, it sink in. I'm really grateful and happy, because even though I dont have any achievements in life yet, I felt that I already aim something, and that is to advice myself and do it. Its hard to advice oneself, but you will just realize that all the advice that you keep telling anyone, you already did it, or about to do it. Today or not now or in the past, but you already did it. And its the best thing ever. But of course the best thing in life is to follow your heart and God. Because God knows everything, even what your heart tells. Happy blogging everyone. Enjoy 😊😊😊👍🎆🎉🎉🎊💯

Yeah we rule the CR

*Caption this* Vain inside the Comfort Room. Forgive us. Wahaha. 3:))

Every girl deserves a better guy. Why do you need to insist or put yourself into a useless one if there is still a guy who can give you and do everything that she can just to.impress you, just to make you proud, just to make you smile a lot bigger each and every day. You can’t please anybody. Even...

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

Listening to senti songs