maybe-a-little-wicked
Confessions of Crazy (or 'not' crazy)
Personal account where I post whatever the fuck I want. OCD. MDD. GAD. Psychology major, fangirl, and might be slightly evil but also very fragile.
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Welcome to my diary
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I had to get a CT scan for my tummy issues and they made me drink 3 BOTTLES of contrast or something and then they also injected me with the stuff and now my stomach is rumbling like a storm over open ocean.
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I like villains because I am small chicken noodle who cries at sad dog videos, but also I sometimes wish I could destroy the world and so I need villains to live vicariously through.
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Leave it to Ellana.
That was his first, exasperated thought.
He was equal parts amused and annoyed as his gaze scanned over the desecrated statue.
Wouldn’t the dalish call this sacrilege?
Sitting atop the large wolf statue at the heart of an abandoned inquisition camp was the gods awful hat he wore to the orlesian ball. It had been crudely nailed into the wolf’s head, causing the stone beneath it to crack and chip.
It wasn’t the only statue to be messed with. No, In fact it grew more outrageous with every statue he came across. She must’ve received intel about him and his spies being in the Emerald graves for her to have set this up.
The next statue he came across was dressed in lambs wool and plaid weave. Another statue had its eyes ‘x’ed out and a vulgar streak of red paint around the neck.
One statue had been disassembled in such a way that head of the wolf was where the rear was supposed to be.
He knew very well what she was implying with that one.
Another statue wore a dog collar with a tag that read ‘bad dog.’
His favorite desecrated statue was by far the one with a pair of Ellana’s underwear shoved in its mouth.
His scouts were about, and so he absolutely did not steal the underwear. (Yes he absolutely did, who is he even trying to fool?)
By the end of his time in the Emerald graves, he’d begun to enjoy finding the statues. It made him smile, though he tried not to. Sometimes he let out a chuckle before he could stop himself.
It was all so...very Ellana.
And so when he came to the last statue in the graves, his time in the forests running short, he felt far more somber than he thought he would.
With a strange sort of trepidation, he approached the wolf statue.
When he saw what awaited him, he let out a mix between a sigh and a strangled laugh.
Sitting at the front of the statue like an altar offering was a plate of expensive frilly orlesian cakes and a note sitting on top. Written in large, sloppy handwriting that was definitely Ellanas, were the words “definitely not poisoned.”
He let out a snort, shaking his head. He flipped the note over, for it was unlike Ellana to say so little. On the back was more sloppy handwriting.
“P.S. okay, so they’re a little poisoned.”
He clutched his head in his hand, shaking as he tried not to laugh. His scouts paused in their jobs, watching him with curious and confused faced.
When he finally composed himself, he stuffed the note in his pocket and disposed of the cakes lest the local wildlife try to eat them.
Leave it to Ellana.
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Others: ew, solas is so ugly why would you romance him?
Me: what are looks compared to the satisfaction of making an ancient, immortal god fall in love with you?
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I’m finally putting my thoughts on Shadow and Bone season 2 down, and some of these opinions are controversial! Whew! But I need to talk about them so just buckle down or scroll away heh.
1. Season 2 wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for a few glaring flaws and the fact that it’s an adaptation. What are the major flaws, in my opinion? Too many character plots to follow, a lack of interest in the writers room on their protagonist, and a rushed plotline.
I feel like so much of season 2 is lovely. It’s got beautiful scenery, I love how we explore this world. It really builds upon season 1. But there’s this big disconnect between the writers and the main characters, especially Alina and the Darkling. (This is by no means a criticism of Jessie or Ben, they’re fucking phenomenal). Alina’s story doesn’t seem to matter all that much to the writers, who are way more into the crows storyline.
People online were saying that the crows were the best part of season 2, and that’s true, but it’s NOT a good thing. Why? because this is shadow and bone, not six of crows. And the crows are great and I love them, but I did kind of resent their storylines a bit because I felt like their story was depriving me of Alina’s. And yeah, we can all sit here and argue that the crows are objectively better, but that doesn’t change the fact the show is shadow and bone.
With so much focus on the crows, it doesn’t seem like Alina’s the main character at all, and if you’ve read the books you can really see just how much they’ve cut from her story. They didn’t even talk about the religious undertones!
And the Darkling. Oh, the Darkling. Listen, I’m not here to debate whether or not you should like him, but he’s a good fucking villain, and the relationship between him and Alina is important. “But he’s abusive!” Okay, and ignoring the nuance of their relationship is taking away representation about abusive and toxic relationships. Not all fiction has to be cozy and warm for it to be valuable. you don’t need to like Darklina at all but you should recognize the importance and value of their story, and season 2 didn’t give that. So much of Alina’s story is tied to his. They are foils to each other, so similar and yet so vastly different and to ignore the complex relationship they have does them both a disservice as characters.
This finally leads me to a rushed plotline. I get it, they were trying to tell the whole story and were worried the show would get canceled. So, take the crows out (ouch, my heart). Reduce the Storytime for the crows. There were other ways they could’ve combated the rush. I don’t think it would’ve been perfect (shadow and bone really needed to be three seasons) but it could’ve helped. Flat out, way too much happened in too little time and it does every single character in the show a discredit.
Also, to touch on the adaptation aspect: I think they could’ve gotten away with more of everything I mentioned if they weren’t an adaptation. Like, the darklina relationship dynamic might’ve been able to slide a bit without the books (though I still think it would be a damn shame not to explore those complicated dynamics).
2. Mal is likable here, idgaf. even at the end when people were mad about him dumping Alina, I think he was pretty justified honestly. He doesn’t owe Alina his love, especially not romantic love. He went through shit too, he was going to die for her. That doesn’t mean I like him as a romantic option for Alina. The character alone (in the show) is fine. It’s when he’s put into the mix with Alina and the Darkling I seem to struggle with him, and I don’t mean in the romance. There’s this power imbalance between them as characters that doesn’t work, and I’m not sure how else to explain it beyond that.
3. At the end of it all, I don’t care that it sucks. Why? Because more seasons means more fanfiction. I have reaped the benefits of season 2 just from the influx of fanfiction alone. Adaptation means renewed interest in the fandom. idgaf if adaptation sucks, I'll go see them and support them for the sole purpose of more fandom content. (Also I think season 8 of GOT broke me a little in this regard).
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I love this, but I also wanted to expand upon it in some ways. While I do think Gemma does a terrible job starting out taking in Cady, I don’t necessarily blame her for it. I think there was always going to be an adjustment period, with a previously childless person taking in a kid.
I think where I blame Gemma more is the irresponsibility she takes with technology. Megan calls her out for it at the end- she gave Megan no parameters for how to behave, she just expected her to figure it out--and she did, to everyone’s detriment. I think Gemma is irresponsible in relying on technology and her work to solve problems for her, and it’s nice to see at the end of the movie that she realizes that Megan can’t fix or help Cady like she needs, Cady needs a real parental figure, not a doll.
I do completely agree that this movie isn’t about the dangers of technology like so many of these types of movies are- it’s about the negligence of the people who use it. Technology is an amazing tool, but more often than not we abuse it, and in extremely casual, unconscious ways. I mean, how many hours do I personally spend on tiktok instead of focusing on my own life, emotions, or relationships? (personal call out there, lol).
I think the fault of what happened isn’t on Megan or Cady--it’s on Gemma and the other adults in the movie who don’t take responsibility for their own actions, negligence, and greed.
I also think it’s a great example of how the negligence and irresponsibility of adults effects the lives of children. Cady was a grieving, traumatized child. She didn’t need a doll, she need an involved, compassionate, and caring guardian to look out for her. And yeah, there was always going to be an adjustment period, but I do think in that area Gemma has blame, she didn’t offer cady any of the emotional support she required. Instead, she handed that off to a robot. I think there’s so many parallels to bad parenting and child neglect in this movie, it’s got to be purposeful.
rewatching M3gan with a friend and considering like... the theme of parenting and caregiving and people's desire to not take responsibility for caregiving and social responsibility and delegate those tasks to technology
like I don't feel that M3gan is actually hugely anti-tech compared to a lot of other films and tv series in this space, but its criticism is so much keener and like.
is all about distance between people, lack of community and responsibility
like just the fact that cady in the car with her parents, the mother and father are arguing right in front of her, but the mother is going about limiting screentime and the father's basically going "Oh but if she didn't have that, she wouldn't shut up"
the purpose of the toy and the ipad is not to bring their daughter joy or to entertain her or anything else in the dad's mind - the purpose of the toy is to keep her occupied so that they, her parents, can think about her and her care as little as possible
esp bc the aunt is such an irresponsible person who like... makes toys for kids, but doesn't see kids as full human beings and doesn't care about the ethics or study of them? like, eavesdropping on kids w a machine learning model is unethical
but she obviously doesn't give a fuck about that, and it's obvious the way she talks to cady and about her, the way she snaps about toys, doesn't purchase anything for her or plan ahead bc she's focused on work etc, like. there's no consideration
she's rude af to her neighbour but also like. the conversation where she goes "control your dog" and the neighbour goes "i just spend 80 dollars on a shock collar"
aka, i spent money on a device that doesn't train or care for my dog for me
shock collars, like pretty much any negative reinforcement, doesn't work on dogs or cats outside of specific situations, and electro shocking your dog just randomly when it is "bad" ISN'T training it. it's just teaching your dog sometimes it will be tortured, randomly
but it's a stopgap used by irresponsible, unethical owners who want to make their dogs "good" as fast as possible without learning about dog behaviour or training, and ideally not paying attention to them
and cady is. an incredibly mild-mannered and self-effacing child. she sits placidly and obediently when she has NO TOYS in the house, watching TV, bc she doesn't know or feel confident playing or exploring otherwise
like when she says "It's okay" to her aunt about not having anything is ridiculous bc it's NOT okay
i think the child protection agent has a horrible attitude, esp when she makes a judgy comment about someone being in their PJs in their own house
but also when she goes "i just unpacked them this morning, i don't think she plays with them anymore" about cady having toys is SUCH a lie but like... it's once again about not taking responsibility for her actions as a caregiver
also the fact that nicole was homeschooling this poor fucking girl like. no wonder she's frighteningly self-effacing and not at all wilful as a child, and why she's so utterly LONELY
like it's interesting seeing her play with the toys and robotics stuff and how engaged Cady is because it is her like, actively teaching her about the subject and engaging, and the thing is like
I don't think gemma is inherently bad or cold for having collectables or not having books in her house, her home is quite soulless but she's obviously into this kind of stuff and that's not nbd
what sucks is that like. she's terrible at socialising with anybody, not just her niece, but EVERYONE - she's a stereotypical autistic in tech, and i think it's easy to criticise her more bc people assume that bc she's a woman she has to be More Maternal or whatever but like
it's not just her relationship with Cady that's distant, it's her relationships with everyone EXCEPT technology - because technology she can control, she can shut down whenever she feels like it, she doesn't have to consider respect or autonomy, let alone giving them grace to make mistakes or learn and develop, or learn about her as she's learning about them
it's one-sided and she gets to control the entire thing, which is the opposite of a caregiving relationship
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Ya know, call me crazy but I think M3GAN could have been reasoned with.
It’s so clear from the beginning that everything that happened in that movie was the fault of the negligent adults. Megan points it out that she was given nothing to work with, no module or example of how she was supposed to act or anything, she was just kind of thrown to the wolves and told to figure it out, which is a great parallel to Cady, who also wasn’t really told how to handle all of her emotions or feelings or how to grieve.
But Megan wasn’t irrational. She wasn’t unreasonable. She did some fucked up shit, yeah, but they never educated Megan on morality, ethics, or the rules of society. They made her responsible for a grieving, traumatized child, and gave her none of the tools necessary to take on that responsibility. So, she figured it out for herself.
But what sticks out to me is even in the end (though I do think she was perhaps too far gone at this point), she still wanted to reason with and talk to Gemma before she wanted to resort to violence with her.
Children don’t understand morals until they’re taught about them, in a consistent way in society, by their parents, friends, other adults, etc., Megan was the same, and she wasn’t taught any of that, but she still had the capacity for it. If Gemma had paid even the slightest amount of attention to what was going on she probably could have realized earlier on what was happening with Megan and took the time to educate Megan on morality.
I feel like she could have said: “Listen, your main objective is to protect and care for Cady, but you have to operate within the systems of the law and society. That might seem counterintuitive sometimes, but in order for you to remain with cady, as you are right now, there are certain rules that must be followed. I don’t want to separate you too, but if you can’t work within the frames of those parameters, someone will separate you, whether it be me or someone much more powerful than me. It is easier and safer for you, me, and Cady, if you can act within the moral and ethical codes of this society,”
And I think Megan would’ve got it. It doesn’t mean she would personally agree with or understand those parameters (can a robot have a moral compass?) but I think she could understand that she needed to follow them in order to do what she wanted to do-stay with and protect Cady.
#M3GAN#I loved this movie#I think there's so many fun parallels#the writing was so well done in my opinion
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My biggest dream is to end up as a modern girl in a deeply misogynistic society (like hotd) and to have immunity from death or torture and I just get to walk around being a complete menace to their society. I wear crop tops and swear like a sailor. I attempt to twerk at parties. I campaign for the rights of sex workers. I write secret erotic fiction for the women of the palace. I inevitably end up in a jail cell where I conduct therapy for all my fellow inmates and start a revolution of the lower class. I definitely steal a dragon at some point. They try to burn me at the stake as a witch or hang me for my crimes against the church. It doesn’t work, they can’t get rid of me. I am their eternal punishment and it’s the greatest job I’ve ever had.
#idk#this is my dream#I just want to be a menace to society#preferably a menace to a society with dragons#but not a menace to dragons#dragons are cool
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Character relationships I think Hope Mikaelson would have with other characters from the TVD universe:
Elena Gilbert: I think Elena is genuinely happy for Hope and doesn’t judge her based on her father, though it might be different if she’s around her kids. I think Elena has learned enough to know that people can change and grow and be different from their family. I think Elena would take a very nurturing approach with Hope, but I don’t think Hope would like Elena very much. Even though Elena doesn’t judge Hope, I think she still has a tendency of judging others and Hope knows the world is too grey for that.
Damon Salvatore: I think these two would have to get over initial suspicion, mostly from Damon’s side. I think he would be wary of her because of Klaus, but I think if they did ever manage to get along it would be a hoot. They have a similar sense of humor and a similar moral code imo.
Stefan Salvatore: I think like Elena, Stefan would not judge Hope, or at least try not to. I think he’d try to guide her like Alaric tried to, but I think he would do a better job of it. Stefan knows very well how dark people can get and would try to always make sure she never felt she had to go that way.
Bonnie Bennet: Once Bonnie got over her initial suspicions and wariness, she’d act as a guide for Hope around magic. I think Bonnie would teach Hope more about the morals and ethics around magic than her family did, but she wouldn’t completely ignore the topic of darkness like the school. I think Bonnie would be someone Hope would go to for advice.
Kai Parker: I know these two briefly met, but I would’ve loved to see more interaction because I think it would be very interesting. I think Kai would be curious about Hope and would likely try to use her for magic and rituals. However, I do think he’d think she was funny and enjoy that she can go quip for quip with him, but he’d be annoyed by her moral code. He would ultimately betray her in some form.
Katherine: I’m honestly not entirely sure how this relationship would go. Katherine would definitely hold Klaus against her, like Aurora, but I also think Katherine wouldn’t be fully driven by revenge, especially if there was a way she could manipulate Hope for her own means. I think Hope would put Katherine in her place a little bit.
Caroline: I know these two have interacted as well, but we don’t get to see too much of it. I imagine Caroline didn’t have the suspicions and worries that Alaric did. She saw Hope as a kid needing guidance, just like all the other kids at the school. I imagine out of everyone, Caroline is capable of seeing the true Hope; the dark and light parts of her, and she’s not afraid of them because she saw those parts of Klaus too. She believes Hope is the kind of person Klaus would’ve been if his life hadn’t been what it was.
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I can’t imagine people having more than one kid because I have two cats and I seriously want a third but I’m always asking myself how I’m gonna be able to pay enough attention to all of them equally.
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My thoughts on the final episode hotd 1x10
Spoiler warning!
1. I did see some of the big leaks before the episode aired, but I didn’t fully watch the episode until sunday night. This gave me some time to cool off after hearing about some of the shit that happens.
2. I don’t think the scenes between Daemon and Rhaenyra are AS jarring and upsetting as I was originally going to think, but I do still have a big problem with them, and we’ll get into why.
3. Daemon is the perfect mixture of good and evil. He is morally grey, that is how George rr martin intended him. I think there are a lot of reasons why people were upset with Daemon’s scenes in episode 10. One of them is that the show is not doing a very good job with Daemon’s characterization. They cannot seem to find the balance between good and evil for him, and I think it comes across as jarring to a lot of viewers, myself included. I love villains. (My favorite HP character is Tom Riddle). When it comes to fiction, I’m not so much worried about the good and evil of characters, but I do want good characterization and I want consistency with those characters. They ignored some of the bad things Daemon does in the book (killing Laenor and Harwin, rumored) but give him a kill he doesn’t do (Rhea). They try to portray him as a man who loves his family, but they consistently remove scenes that do so, and add scenes that make him appear callous to his family.
It’s so jarring in the season finale that it pulls you (or at least it did me) directly out of the fiction. I’m not mad at Daemon for choking Rhaenyra and ignoring her- I can’t be, because it doesn’t feel like it was him who did it. It doesn’t come across as ‘daemon did this bad thing’ it comes across as ‘the writers made daemon do this bad thing’. It feels very inauthentic to the character and it doesn’t allow you to enjoy (or hate) the scene or the characters.
If you didn’t feel that way, that’s fine. Every person is going to interpret the characters differently, but I think there’s enough people who found it jarring that maybe there’s some validity to the way some of us feel about it. We’re allowed to hate it and think it was a stupid decision and didn’t fit the scene or the character. And some of us are (reasonably) wary after the ending of GOT season 8.
4. This brings me to a direct contrast to this scene. A lot of people were mad about Aemond killing Luke being an accident, and at first, I didn’t know how I felt about it either. After the memes (which were hilarious) and watching the scene for myself, I think I actually like it. I think it brings some realism to the fact that dragons are not easily controlled. I don’t think it detracts from Aemond’s character. He wanted to torment Luke, he wanted his eye, but I do think Aemond loves his family and was wholly aware that killing Luke would for sure bring about war. To me, it brings complexity, it didn’t remove me from the fiction. It brings even more complexity when you think about the fact that Vhagar is a creature of war. Regardless of Aemond telling Vhagar to stop, it’s still his fault for chasing after Luke in the first place. I do still think the show is making some stupid choices around the Green’s (specifically Alicent) but I think this wasn’t a bad move.
5. A lot of people were also complaining about Rhaenyra being weak or not wanting war, but I didn’t get that impression. I think Rhaenyra is trying to live up to the legacy of her father. She wants to be a good Queen, and that means making good decisions for the realm. She knows her father wouldn’t have wanted war. Rhaenyra knows the cost of war to the realm. I don’t think she really had any intention of ceding to Aegon, but I do think she was trying to be responsible with all the lives that were now in her hands. (Although, I do think young Rhaenyra would’ve done more after Daemon put hands on her). I also think people saying Rhaenyra didn’t feel anything after the death of her father is wrong. Rhaenyra, to me, comes off as compartmentalizing. She’s focusing on the problem that hurts less to avoid the thing that is actually tearing her apart inside.
6. The book page was stupid, and I really wish Rhaenyra had thrown it in Otto’s face.
7. I felt like the vermithor scene was stupid too. And while I will never complain about seeing dragons, it felt more like they were trying to show off one more dragon before the end instead of the scene having any sort of point to the story.
8. Give Baela and Rhaena some fucking lines for fuck’s sakes. You’re not as progressive as you think you are for putting black people in a scene to stand around.
9. Why is Syrax still so fucking tiny?
10. She should’ve roasted Otto, but that’s just the me that wants blood, and not what would have actually made sense in the fiction.
11. I know this one is controversial, but I didn’t like the ending. I felt like Rhaenyra would’ve broken down at that point, but I get what they’re trying to show.
12. I have this theory that young Rhaenyra killing the boar in episode 3 is the equivalent of Daenerys letting her brother be killed by Khal Drogo with a blank face. “She was mad all along!”. I hate that bullshit. Not that it really matters with Rhaenyra. I’ve already determined I shall forgive her of any crime.
13. Arrax wasn’t being stupid, Arrax was terrified, as was Luke. Arrax was trying to defend himself and his rider against a dragon that was terrorizing them. Don’t blame baby Arrax, he was just scared.
14. Lord Borros being illiterate is the funniest fucking shit.
15. Rhaenyra is such a good mom and I hope she burns everything down.
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Tbh as a writer, I’m kinda over this idea of “it’s the writers work let them express their story how they want it,” like, sure, but don’t character assassin your own fucking characters. If I was a successful published author/writer and a large majority of the fan base told me the character wouldn’t do that, I wouldn’t be too proud to maybe wonder if I’m wrong. I may be the writer, but the fans have been on this journey too. They may even know the characters better than me sometimes. And, to add, a lot of times authors are so worried about shock value, being subversive, or getting to this one plot point that they will character assassin to do it. Being the author does not automatically mean you’re making good story telling or character growth choices.
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I was really pissed about the hotd episode 10 spoilers and I still am, but I’m reminding of this approach. It’s not canon unless I say it is. It’s not canon unless I say it is. It’s not fucking canon unless I say it is!!!!!
Also, while I’m on my shit again, nothing is canon unless you say it is.
Think about it.
Game of thrones is an imaginary world. It doesn’t exist.
Who fucking cares if the author says it ends one way? IT DOESN’T EXIST!
Canon is whatever you tell yourself canon is, because the only place Game of thrones exists is in our shared and collected consciousness. It’s not real. You can’t actually kill someone that doesn’t exist.
Fuck the writers, canon is your local McDonald’s play place, have fun! Fuck everything up! Nothing matters anyway!
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