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Danger: Fannish Things Ahead
A place to celebrate fanfic. And shows. But mostly fic.
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tlk never beating the queer show allegations 🌈 part 1/? | haesten and his poorly hidden pansexuality
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I mean, that's great? It really is. But there needs to be a straight up special Emmy just for him, for his voice work. Because Cross was wonderful. But when you consider that he brought them ALL to life?
Excellent 👌
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There was a young man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two
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okay we need to have an intervention.
i've noticed that people don't leave the same kind of unhinged compliments under fanfics that visual artists usually receive (eg, "i want to eat your art"), so i've come up with a list that you need to start employing when your friends send you their WIPs and when your favorites update on ao3 but you're having a hard time commenting something that sounds intelligent and you still want to support them
"you're like if [famos author] (eg, Victor Hugo if the fic is angst) was into [fandom]"
"well THIS has been added to my pre-sleep daydream schedule"
"this fic invaded my mind and consumed my brain like a spore"
"I'M LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS ONE, FOLKS"
"yOu'Ve AlReAdY lEfT kUdOs HeRe"
"this fic has me scratching at my yellow wallpaper, it's so good"
"this fic has me checking under my floorboards for the heart of a kind man i murdered, it's so good"
"i'm making my parents read this"
"i know only one chapter is out so far, but i'm going to print this out, staple it together, and put it on my bookshelf next to the canon material"
"this fic gave me another mental illness"
(you can only do this one once) "i made an ao3 account specifically to bookmark this"
"i'm going to print this out so i can eat the words on the paper"
and a couple that are just nice (without the feral nature):
"i made a custom playlist to listen to while i read this fic"
"this fic reminds me of [song]"
"i really liked the part where [x], it really stuck with me"
"i really liked this line, [quote the line,] it was so well-written!"
artists: draw fanart of the fic!! it doesn't matter if you think your art skills are good and it doesnt matter if it's just a sketch!! let the author see it!!
make a moodboard!! for the fic!! let the author see it!!
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Tech would have been so excited to take Phee’s last name
except the problem was, the rest of the Bad Batch took it, too.
It started with Omega. She was out shopping with Tech for one thing or other when he introduced himself as “Tech Genoa” and she just got so excited and bounced up and down and exclaimed, “And I’m Omega Genoa!” And it wasn’t really the time to correct her, except then Wrecker picked up on it and he got so excited because “that’s right, we get a last name now!!” And they just run around the house screaming “Omega Genoa” and “Wrecker Genoa” while a flabbergasted Tech tries to find a tactful way to explain that actually only he gets the last name.
Hunter and Echo of course know how the last name thing works, but they also thinks it’s hilarious, so they start using it, too. First just as a joke around the house, but then it just kinda starts to roll off the tongue, and admittedly, it’s kinda nice having two halves of a name instead of just one. Crosshair thinks the whole thing is absurd, until someone new in town asks him which family he belongs to and he just scoffs and says, “Genoa, obviously,” and he started using it after that.
And that is why Phee came home from an expedition two weeks later to see a hand carved sign on the front of the Batch’s door that reads “The Genoas” and an extremely exasperated but endeared Tech.
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thire gets the idea after watching a group on the senate rotunda during another long shift. he brings it to fox when fox is too tired to find a reason to say no. uggggh leave me to perish is basically an enthusiastic yes, in fox speak.
thire’s next stop is thorn.
“‘guided tours’?” thorn repeats, like the words are the name of a virulent strain of space flu. “tours of what? you know commander fox won’t have natborns in the barracks. he barely lets vode in.”
thire waved his hands dismissively. “not here. the city. the upper levels. the mids and the quarters.”
“but we don’t know anything about those places. what are you going to tell them? ‘here is where a senator threw their coffee on me.’ ‘one time i petted a tooka down this street.’”
that thorn was simply refusing to see the genius of thire’s plan was an affront. thire perched on the edge of thorn’s desk and folded his arms across his chest. he kicked thorn gently on his shin guard.
“the natties are visiting for the day, thorn. maybe a few days. but that’s all. they don’t know anything about coruscant! they’re kriffin’ coruscant shinies.” thire tilted his bucket in a grin. “you know shinies pretty much believe anything we tell ‘em. just gotta say it right.”
thire had been promoted to commander because he had the commander voice locked cold.
thorn spun his seat from one side to the other slightly as he thought. he hummed under his breath.
“we could offer one tour a day, in shiny armour. meet a group, walk them around for an hour taking osik, what are they gonna know different?” thire added, not quite wheedling.
“and you’ll be charging for this?” thorn asked.
“of course.”
thorn stopped spinning. he nodded once and held out his hand. “let me look at the rates.”
thire gestured broadly to the statue of the torgruta behind him. “and this is the original founded of bolo-ball. she was banned from playing on three worlds after dirty tackles—very gory, don’t let your kids see—and that’s why all torgruta have to wear padding on their montrals. now if you’ll follow me to—“
“excuse me—“
“—just this way, mind the speeder—“
“excuse me that’s not right—“
thire glanced at the droid following him, who had been earwigging during his tour. he gestured for his group to go ahead and waited for the droid to catch up.
“you don’t pay, you don’t get to comment,” thire said flatly.
“but your facts are incorrect!” the droid protested.
thire sighed. “they’re the facts as i know ‘em., pal. got a problem, take it up with the guild.”
coruscant had a guild of tour guides. couldn’t exhale on the blasted planet without someone charging.
“i am with the guild!” the droid said. “i’m observing your tour as part of the registration confirmation.”
kriff.
thire shifted in place. “i—“
“and for a reasonable fee of 5% net, i will gladly endorse your tour, trooper,” the droid said, proffering the pad it was holding. “coruscant rewards initiative and entrepreneurship! if you’ll sign here?”
thire grinned behind the protection of his shiny bucket. he took the pad and signed with a flourish—thank you, commander grizzer—then returned it to the droid.
“i think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship,” thire said.
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taglist: @foxyanon @alexagirlie @sihtricsafin @neonhairspray @gemini-mama
@lexeirikrleif @sigtryggrswifey @skyofficialxx @djarinsgirl27 @m-a-s-h-k-a
@verenahx @mrsarnasdelicious @diiickbrainn @little-diable @maii777
@urmomsgirlfriend1 @dixie-elocin @elle4404 @bubblyabs @ylvie50
@hb8301 @willowbrookesblog @apolloanddaphnis @jennifer0305
@carnationworld @justanother-sihtricgirlie @stark-head @reidsbookstore @thenameswinter99
@deathbluestar113 @ladyinred2248 @zaldritzosrose @maryelle-cats @penumbrie
@solinarimoon @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @yungpoetfics @legitalicat @stupiddarkkside @volklana
if you want to be added to/deleted from the taglist, message me 🖤
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Finding Home
A new story!! It's a simple romance--a genre that, when well executed, I find tremendously satisfying. This part is entirely written, and will update on Saturdays. The goal is to have seven parts: romances for all the marriage candidates, giving them all Healthy Adult Relationships. I'm gonna try to do that and not be dead boring. We shall see...
On that note, I have been reliably informed that if you don't know the Stardew video game, this just reads like a romance novel. If that's your jam--give it a try!! But alas, there will be no swords. Or evisceration. At least in this part.
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Fic Rec Friday!
It's baseball season in America! Which means it's time for not only hours of tv and radio while spinning/gardening/whatever, but it's time for baseball-themed fic! Of which there is never enough.
This is an absolutely delightful Sherlock AU where the boys are baseball players. The author ( @earlgreytea68 ) knows their stuff--all the baseball is totally accurate (except maybe those pesky rooming arrangements.) Plus their characterizations are an absolute delight to read, in any of their Sherlock fics, actually. A consistently fluffy, feel-good author with a fic set in my favorite sport. What's not to love?
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clones accidentally but deeply getting into jedi trading cards. when a battalion meets another in the field, they can be found in huddles playing swapsies. GARComm has a flourishing marketplace. when different corps go to new planets, they scour the stalls for cards. rarer cards are sent in internal mail so everyone gets a chance to see them.
the jedi, observing from a distance, think it’s great for the clones to have an interest. none of their business, though! :):):)
then they see padawans trading with some of the corries and … okay… they can be a BIT nosy, right?
the force is rich with embarrassment that day
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The sounds of the 80s.
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I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.
For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.
When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.
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"There's no hope for the future." And that's how they felt during the Atomic Age, during the World Wars, during the Enlightenment Revolutions, during thr plagues, during the Viking raids, during the fall of Rome.
Yet, we persisted.
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when you censor yourself like this -> *** on my dash i respect your right to privacy but I AM trying to decipher it like we're playing hangman or something. is there an o in there give me something to work with
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give me one season of the bad batch but it's set during clone wars era, so it's just them being a squad together and going on missions and being cool in perfect synchronicity. it can be a mixture of before and after they got echo in their ranks. I just want to see them work together when things were a little more simple, when they were together. my badass 99s. please.
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Crosshair's 10 Most Impressive Shots in "Star Wars: The Bad Batch"
We're now officially three weeks removed from the series finale, so I thought it'd be a fun time to look back at our favorite sniper and review some of his most impressive shots.
Note, I'll be ranking items from "The Bad Batch" TV show only, so there won't be any entries from "The Clone Wars" S7.
I did get a lot of input from folks here and on Twitter, and a lot of people ended up saying the same ones. I put them on here along with a few of my own.
As for how I determined the order, I judged based on a combination of: the distance of the shot, the size of the target, the speed of the target (if applicable), other external factors like light conditions and weather, and "internal" factors like Crosshair's physical and mental state.
You're free to disagree with which ones I picked and how I ordered them. It's all subjective.
Also, I don't proclaim to be an expert in marksmanship nor am I a military sniper. But, I do have a general baseline for how difficult Crosshair's shots would be IRL. I used to go shooting with my dad a lot at both indoor and outdoor ranges, and I was pretty decent at both pistol- and rifle-shooting. So, that's what I'm using to judge Crosshair's shots.
With that out of the way, let's dive in with #10:
10. Killing Lt. Nolan in 2.12 "The Outpost"
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I probably wouldn't have put this one on the list for myself, but I had multiple people suggest it should make the cut.
While this shot is very important narratively, it's not very impressive from a purely technical perspective.
I mean, hitting a relatively stationary human-sized target from a few meters away... It's definitely not the most impressive shot on Crosshair's resume.
However, I did feel it was worth adding to the list for the simple fact that Crosshair is physically exhausted and mentally broken in this scene. He basically uses the last of his strength to kill Lt. Nolan, because he immediately collapses right afterward.
Also, Crosshair might be right-handed, but he's pretty good at shooting his pistol leftie. We don't really see the shot hit Nolan, but if you zoom in after his body hits the ground, you can see that Crosshair shot him straight through the heart. He wasn't leaving that bastard alive after everything he and Mayday went through.
9. Lunch tray ricochet in 1.01 "Aftermath"
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Even though this isn't a shot in the traditional sense -- considering there aren't any firearms involved -- I had to put this on the list for two reasons.
One, I had multiple people suggest it; and two, because I've watched this scene dozens of times and only recently found out that Crosshair actually hits two clones with his lunch tray.
He initially throws it at the clone Tech was fighting, presumably knocking him down. But then it ricochets so hard that it basically clotheslines another clone who's just standing there, minding his own business. Dude was hit so hard, he was like floating in midair for a split second.
Also, this plays into my headcanon that Crosshair would be excellent at any sports that require excellent aim and coordination. If he was on a basketball team, he'd be a three-point specialist for sure!!
8. Plan 55 ricochet in 3.12 "Juggernaut"
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This is the closest thing we get to a trickshot in S3, so I had to include it on the list.
Here, we see Crosshair's quick-thinking and perfect aim take out several troopers at once by purposely ricocheting his shot off the magnetically sealed doors.
As we know from “A New Hope,” magnetically sealed doors/surfaces are no joke. You really have to know what you're doing or someone's gonna get hurt. Thankfully, Crosshair is a freakin' pro at this!
It honestly reminds me of all those crazy pool shots where you have to plan out four or five bounces/angles ahead to get the angle you really want.
7. Downing a spaceship on Ryloth in 1.11 "Devil's Deal"
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NOTE: This is the only clip I couldn't readily find on YT. So I included the clip of Crosshair killing Orn Free Taa from the same episode to maintain symmetry in this Top 10 list.
Don't let the clip fool you. The shot I'm actually talking about takes place before this, when Crosshair -- from like 300 meters away, mind you -- takes down a fast-moving ship by shooting one of the engines.
Look, I love S3 Crosshair with all my heart, but his shooting abilities were severely diminished after his time on Tantiss. When I was doing my S1 rewatch and got to this scene in 1.11, I was like "Oh yeah, I forgot Crosshair used to be able pull off crazy shit like this."
It's actually sad how many of his made shots in 1.11 are like an inverse of his missed shots in 3.11. Here, Crosshair easily shoots a tracker onto Hera & company's ship, and later shoots the engine with no problem, despite the speed and distance.
In 3.11, though, he misses CX-2's ship and fails to track Omega back to Tantiss. 😭
6. Shooting Wrecker's knife in 1.01 "Aftermath"
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Now we're getting into the really impressive shit! Most of these remaining entries have Crosshair shooting small targets and/or fast-moving ones.
In this instance, it's both. Wrecker throws the knife like this is skeet-shooting or something, and Crosshair just very casually shoots it into a droid.
Have you ever seen someone who was so good at their job/hobby that they make it look effortless? Like they're not even trying? This happens to me sometimes when I watch the Olympics. I'm like, "That's not so hard. I could probably do that." And then I try it for like half a second, and I'm like, "Oh no, those people are insane."
That's how good S1-2 Crosshair is. He makes shooting a fast-moving knife look effortless.
5. His four-kill trickshot in 1.15 "Return to Kamino"
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These next three are all no-brainer entries. I think the biggest question will be why I went with the order I did.
Here, we have Crosshair displaying two very important elements of marksmanship/sniping: patience and careful aim.
Crosshair evidently set up at least four mirrors (I counted the ricochets in the shot) well in advance in the exact spots he needed to take down his Imperial squad, if need be. That's some serious foresight and preparation -- to know exactly where everyone would be standing, and have all the mirrors ready to go ahead of time.
He must've set them up even before he brought Hunter into the training room, or Hunter would've seen them and probably signaled his teammates.
He's also hitting a target that seems to be somewhere between the size of a golf ball and baseball from like 10-20 meters. And with his sidearm.
I know everyone loves the hallway mirror ricochet to kill the squadron of battle droids in TCW Season 7, but it didn't qualify. But, honestly, I think this one is more impressive anyway. He hit the first 1.15 mirror from farther away than he does in TCW S7, and he's using his pistol in 1.15 rather than his rifle and scope.
Talk about accuracy!
4. Sniping the tank in 2.03 "The Solitary Clone"
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Oh man! I think we all love this one, right? It's just one of my favorite sequences in the entire show -- the framing, the colors, the effects of the dirt flying up behind him.
I love how Crosshair baits the droids to get the exact angle he needs, and the dude clearly has nerves of steel for staring down the barrel of a tank without flinching. I wonder how many times he's done it, considering he seemed to know exactly how to beat them. I'm guessing at least a dozen.
This is another example of "expert making their expertise look effortless," when in reality, we'd all shit ourselves if we attempted to do the same.
Honestly, sometimes I wish we could've had this version of Crosshair face off against Hemlock in 3.15 -- the dude who stared down the barrel of a tank and didn't flinch at the most literal version of "kill or be killed."
3. Stairwell trickshot in 2.03 "The Solitary Clone"
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While I love the tank sequence more for the aesthetics, I have to rank the 2.03 stairwell trickshot above it.
That's partly because Crosshair's still physically and mentally recovering from nearly getting choked to death. But, it's also partly because -- just like with Wrecker's knife -- Crosshair is shooting a target that someone else is throwing.
That means he has to adjust to whatever trajectory and speed they throw it at and compensate accordingly, which can understandably be very hard to do in a split-second.
And, in this situation, Crosshair can't even see the puck directly. He's looking at it through at least one or two layers of reflective mirrors. Dude's reaction time is insane!
He also manages to take down at least four or five droids with a single shot, including the tactical droid, which is several meters up the stairwell and into the next room.
I'm not sure if the clones learned any advanced mathematics during their training on Kamino. But if they did, I think Crosshair would've loved geometry and maybe trigonometry too! He would also absolutely kill in a game of pool. I wanna see him go to the SW equivalent of a pool hall, and show Omega that he can hustle people too! He just needed to find a game that would better suit his strengths. LOL
Anyway, as insane as this shot is, Crosshair has two others on his resume that are even more impressive:
2. Saving Omega & AZI in 1.16 "Kamino Lost"
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This is one of three entries on this list that *no one* mentioned when I asked for suggestions, but I had to include it. That's because it is -- without a doubt -- the most bafflingly impressive shot Crosshair makes in the entire show.
I have watched this scene dozens of times, and I still have no idea how he knows where Omega and AZI are.
Initially, I thought -- as others did -- that he's using an infrared scope to see their body heat in the water. But, that doesn't appear to be the case.
The only times I can recall Crosshair activating an infrared capability is when he has his rangefinder, which is attached to his helmet. As we see in episodes like 1.01 "Aftermath" and in 3.07 "Extraction," he specifically has to put the rangefinder down in front of his eye to use the infrared option.
No, his scope is just that -- a regular scope. The infrared capability is only attached to his helmet's rangefinder, which he doesn't have in this scene.
Thus, I have no idea how Crosshair is using a regular-ass scope to find Omega and AZI in the dark ocean. The point of a scope is to see better, and I don't know what he might see beside more darkness. AZI's eyes aren't active and, even if Crosshair spots Omega's flashlight, Omega dropped it when she went after AZI, so it's not exactly on her.
I'm willing to believe that Crosshair has better eyesight than the average human in the Star Wars universe or IRL, but his eyesight must be insane if he can see them in the water, even with a scope.
But, whether it's eyesight, some other enhanced sense or just plain luck, Crosshair knows where in the vast, dark ocean they are — not just the angle but the depth too!
It's really hard to tell how far down they are, but I'd say at least 20 meters. And if he is able to see them somehow, he might have to adjust the shot for refraction in the water too.
Plus, unlike the other entries on this list, Crosshair isn't shooting a blaster bolt. He's shooting a cable, meaning he'd have to adjust his shot to accommodate its weight and trajectory once it hits the water. Additionally, with how Omega and AZI are situated, he needs to have the cable hit and latch onto AZI, without hitting Omega in the process, and get the exact angle needed to drag both of them to the surface.
Like I said: I have absolutely no idea how he made this shot. It's definitely the most impressive one he makes in the entire show based solely on external technical factors.
But of course, there is a parallel shot later in the series that's his most impressive one of all...
1. Freeing Omega in 3.15 "The Cavalry Has Arrived"
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I will never shut up about this scene. It's been living in my head rent-free for three weeks already, and will continue to for several months.
This is undoubtedly the most important shot in Crosshair's life: the shot to save his kid and free his family from Hemlock once and for all.
And everything is working against him: It's dark. It's raining. Omega and Hemlock are like ~40 meters away. The target is the binders between their hands, which is like 3-5 centimeters wide, and won't exactly be stationary. Oh, he's using CX-2's stolen blaster, which doesn't even have a scope on it!!!
We the audience get a POV of what Crosshair sees from over his shoulder, and I can barely see Omega's face, let alone her hands!! I said in the previous entry that Crosshair's eyesight has to be better than the average person's because, holy hell, how can he see that?!?
And, even worse, Crosshair is physically and mentally spent in this scene. He had to return to his own personal hell -- the place where he was tortured and traumatized for months -- then got beaten in a fight and had his dominant hand chopped off.
He and Hunter are running on pure adrenaline at this point. They are absolutely hellbent on getting their kid back, even if they die or collapse in the process. They were practically hobbling out of the CX lab together, and when they crouch down on the bridge, Crosshair has to steady himself against Hunter because he doesn't have his other hand.
And, as the final cherry on top of this proverbially shitty sundae, Crosshair absolutely terrified of missing.
A few episodes ago, the guy couldn't hit stationary fruit from like ~15 meters away with a scope in daylight and in a controlled environment. He even tells Omega: "Close doesn't count. It's either a hit or a miss." Because in a high-stakes situation like this, missing your shot could mean death for you or someone else.
Crosshair already feels like he failed Omega because he missed the shot on Pabu. And now, he has to make an even tougher one with every disadvantage stacked against him and her life literally in his hand.
I don't blame the guy for doubting himself.
Thankfully, Hunter and Omega have complete faith in him, and despite everything he's been through in S3, he has faith in himself.
And so, in the shot to end all shots in "The Bad Batch," Crosshair hits his target and frees Omega.
He and Hunter then subsequently turn Hemlock into Swiss cheese before Omega gives Crosshair a much-needed hug, causing me to cry for the 100th time.
I'll admit: as much as I would've loved seeing another mirror trickshot or some other crazy ricochet in the finale (or just S3 in general), this scene is basically perfect.
It also makes for a nice little parallel to the S1 finale, where Crosshair saved Omega's life after she saved his. Here, as he says himself, he goes back to Tantiss to free her because she freed him first.
As someone said on Twitter when I asked for ideas about this list:
"(Crosshair) put his whole heart and soul in this shot, and he didn't miss. He couldn't afford to."
Like I said: this was the shot that freed the entire Bad Batch family from Hemlock forever. So, I think by default, it had to be No. 1 on this list.
*******
Anyway, thanks for reading! It'd be fun to put together another TBB list like this. I guess I'll have to pick a subject first, though, because I don't have any ideas. If you have any, send them my way!
(EDIT: For anyone who’s also on Twitter, give me a follow. @CatchingClassic )
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if u ever feel bad about ur limited knowledge of the star wars universe, dont worry! din djarin knows less than u and hes literally in it.
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