matrixcowgirl
matrix cowgirl
Artist and her designed thoughtsšµ
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Currently listening to āBĆ©caneā by YamĆŖ
Maybe this would start taking a different format and Iāve been in a cycle of death and rebirth the past few months. I havenāt been in the space to write, create or even conceptualize my thoughts chronologically. Having alone time has been helping a bit, as well as not being so present on social media and the one or two trips Iāve taken this year.
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Currently listening to āBad Habitā by Steve Lacey
Iāve been a curator for maybe 4 years, an artist for 3 years and an organizer for what 7 years now??
Excluding the years I didnāt acknowledge myself as an artist which has been like foreverā¦
I feel like this is the year big things are supposed to happen for me but at the same time I will not live a wishy washy life. Iām duly supposed to grind now more than ever. Due to experience and lessons Iām learning, Iām taking more steps towards the path I want to be in and itās joyous being in the journey. There are antics in life and honestly thatās just it. Being a creative is life itself.
Known rest
Burnout
Hyper awareness
Disassociation
Everything is a fucking cycle.
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Currently listening to āEvery Nightā by Jungle
Iām drinking a cup of tea this morning and Iām reminded of my essence. I havenāt had the time to read or stay present in my solitude but Iāve also understood the fact that we should appreciate each era weāre in. Itās of utmost importance to find ways to discuss your thoughts with likeminded people and see different perspectives.
Iām once again reminded of why I started this blog. I felt I couldnāt confide in anyone about my worries and anxieties and it was a splendid idea to channel my thoughts into writing. Posting things online without a care in the world could also be healing (so long as itās not the same crowd on your other social media platforms lol). Iām driven to explore other ways to express myself and I want to create, till I feel the creative burst of energy in my veins.
The past month has been a lot of partying and seeping into a different ethereal reality and itās been surreal; the other personalities I get to encounter and also getting to know people even if it be surface level. Iām excited for whatās to come in a place where I see myself finding balance.
This month of November hopes to contain more of me slowing down along with studio time. I have a performance left this month and I have an exciting project that I canāt wait to share! Iāve been able to learn some lessons about work-life-friends situation and Iām glad Iām able to utilize my findings.
Iām delving more into my spiritual practice and it is an amazing journey. I went to the Yemoja festival and it was honestly great energy and also all kinds of people and entities there. I hope to learn better discernment with people and energies in the future.
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Itās now October and the end of Venus retrograde and I feel and have felt so much. As I lay on a couch in my friendās apartment (a new surprising connection anyways!!), Iām truly seeing how far Iāve come and also how I couldnāt have gone through all of this alone. I think community you can hold space in and trust is so important. Surround yourself with creative people who also want you to thrive and honestly, see how you bloom.
Listening to Florence & the Machine and itās a beautiful contact with my nostalgia. I only feel like Iām recovering from a lot of past burnouts and relationships and the likes. And all of these stem from the post-pandemic era. Iām finding alternate ways to exist and be an artist and to reflect the times.
There are so many important things to be done truly. One of those is trusting yourself to exist in this spectrum.
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Currently listening to āPaint The Town Redā by Doja Cat
Itās been a lot of things happening in the past few months but as you can see Iām thriving through it regardless. In the midst of the turmoil thatās happening to me today, I find the time to type this. A lot of my time was spent working so much I became burnt out again (which we can say has been several times within the year). Iām not productive enough on my art despite me claiming to have been so busy (well I think thatās also a harmful perspective cuz Iām actively comparing myself to other peopleās content and lives in this hyper realistic world that we live in). Iām basically trying not to compare my successes with others and in turn not being appreciative of my wins no matter how small. Iām doing things even when Iām not doing all the stuff Iāve planned to do. Maybe no expectations and detachment can come in handy at times.
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Currently listening to āEchololiaā by Yves Tumor
I really know Iām very due for a post. Itās been so long (at least for me) since Iāve been here. A lot of updates to ponder on but itās not all that serious in the long run.
A good thing is becoming an aunty to a beautiful moon baby (parents might not see it like that- but it is to me cuz she was born during the Capricorn super moon) and after checking out her birth chart, Iām excited for her to grow. I literally scouted pinterest for cute stuff to make and inspo as well. Also a cat mommy and canāt wait to be able to financially afford these responsibilities.
Iām also back on my groove and I can also say that I no longer dislike human design as Iāve found it useful to me. Applying this knowledge to my career and into making this a full time job. Iām probably being so hard on myself by wanting to achieve certain things but Iām also now a lot calmer about the decisions Iāve decided to take.
Iāve also realized that I really donāt know so much about myself and would like to explore that option by challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone. This includes solo travel, which I would like to incorporate more of in the near future (I already have some plans in mind ;)
The first half of the year has flown by and itās been as amazing as it has been so nerve wracking. Iām still struggling but truthfully hoping for the best outcomes that can uplift me from the situations Iām in. Cheers to the journey of living up to my authentic self š„
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Currently listening to the album āThe Age of Pleasureā by Janelle MonĆ”e
My days have been going as thus. I feel like thereās nothing interesting or spectacular going on, like thatās the reason I havenāt had even so much to write for weeks now. But I think itās okay to be bored and things donāt have have to be happening all the time, maybe that will make me hyper vigilant about the inconsistency in my life. Itās something Iām working and coming to terms with in my day to day routine.
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Currently listening to āSpicyā by Aespa
Been a month since Iāve moved to my new space and yeah it still comes with its qualms but itās okay, Iāll survive. Iāve tried to understand that things like this happen and I ought to be open to what changes are.
Also Iāve been feeling really different about myself recently. Like I have power at my fingertips. Itās giving manifestation girlie and Iām living for it actually. Itās a good time to create actually and Iām giving myself the freedom to make things at my pace but at the same time having some sort of management on me. Inspiration is good but discipline keeps you going, I tell myself this a million times and I wonder when Iām going to believe myself.
A photo project on the rise. It could also develop into something I can make prints from. š¤š¼š¤š¼
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Currently listening to āReckless & Sweetā by Amaarae
My next watch will most definitely be āNext in Fashionā to stay inspired about making clothes and being a DIY queen in general, itās amazing the things you can put your mind into again even when it seems like all hope was lost before. I recently bought knitting and crocheting supplies and Iāve been beaming for days now.
Havenāt been thinking too deep about my screen time but Iāve been trying to notice patterns in the topics Iāve been interested in as of late. Iāve been thinking flow but it maybe seems too obvious if you think of water for instance (which seems like what a lot of the art communities have been interested in exploring these days) but maybe I might like to interpret it in other ways. Iām not going to dive too much into spirituality because itās something Iām learning on my own part; but then we can think of social currency and money (whether in its physical or virtual forms) as essential parts of understanding for artists and creatives.
Also a bit disappointed in myself because I might not have been taking the opportunities I have been grateful for more seriously. Dedicating time to studies and internships and the likes can be very tasking but I hope I can really manage my time wisely. I look to Rowena Tsai on YouTube for some active productivity tips š«š¢
#art prompt#artists on tumblr#artistsupport#spotify#performance art#artsypeachy#worldofartists#my personal world
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Currently listening to āLegsā by Boyish
I recently moved to a new place officially so there has been a lot going on. Itās a very suburban townscape and it has a lot of potential as an artsy town. I moved here to really focus on my practice so letās see how this goes.
Observing space is very different for everyone and it has been a lot of downloads for me. Iāve had time to be a lot calmer and maybe a bit focused on the things that are actually important.
Starting more projects and Iām also trying to be in tune with my moon placements so definitely a lot more themes around home š” and nature, land and everything in between. I ought to be disciplined enough to see this through.
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Currently listening to chatters of people eating lunch and conversing.
How does it feel being social again after being in isolation for a long time? It feels strange, could be blissful and have you feeling you emerged after the end of the world. I imagine if all of earth is phased into a new entity and extraterrestrials want some info on how we used to live they would find these sorts of things fascinating. Maybe thatās how I want to live a bit of my life or fully.
I can feel myself entering a new era of my digital presence and I believe the universe rewards those who are consistent.
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Currently listening to āProtect my Energyā by Little Simz
Itās been a bit hard to do or even think art stuff when youāre undergoing different circumstances but I advise you also find the time to do spontaneous art, like a creative collaborative shoot you plan with your friends. And read books fiction or not, cuz itās a slow activity that you can sometimes ease into.
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How do artists receive care? Especially when you have to survive in a whole system thatās not always designed for the fluidity of creatives. Housing? Living expenses? Daily survival needs? Mental health? Itās also another layer knowing that one person cannot necessarily change the world but instead of being nihilistic, we should just continue to support ourselves through life. As nature supersedes the test of time; and we are nature.
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Currently listening to Sounds of cityscapeā¦ yeah generator noises in the surburbia generally speaking.
Iām currently freelancing and watching exciting things grow. Love that for me. As much as I want to practice writing lengthy paragraphs it takes practice and patience. Someday Iāll be able to write my thoughts freely.
Iām in the space between but Iām also getting my energy back. Itās more likely because weāre in Aries āļø szn. There are many things I want to embark on but I also have to chill. Manage my time and not go on the extremes of doing various projects at once and being the epitome of exhausted after.
Artist and her designed thoughts as you can see in my bio is an exciting project actually. I feel so much more accountable (I guess??) when I donāt have to cater to anyoneās expectations. Cuz apparently, the concept of actual people pleasing has ruined my IG. Looking towards better consistency now, regretting not having a digital presence in the past doesnāt matter anymore. Nostalgia could be death at times.
#artistsupport#spotify#artists on tumblr#art prompt#performance art#artsypeachy#women artists#social media
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Currently listening to āWhat You Wonāt Do For Loveā by Bobby Caldwell (tt made me listen to it)
Sometimes I think about partners of creatives with its whole up and downs and likewise two partners who are both creatives. We see throughout history what those kind of relationships could be like. But does it entirely explain its nuances?
Everyone navigates these things differently but at the same time, I feel I donāt have too much to say about these things. Artists are influenced by their emotions and their surroundings.
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