Lucienne,,. I know not what I am without my long-wear luminous finish foundation

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Nightmare Dream design

It’s 1989 and they’re talking shit about you

so many sleepy girls in the world who have to wake up to go to work when they could be sleeping it makes me so

im really enjoying the sandman, but this lucifer/morpheus fight feels like playing rock paper scissors with a kid except the kid keeps pulling "gun" or "spock" or "god". its very important you all know that this is not a criticism.

This is why Morpheus has trust issues

cant get over desire. pissed at dream and decided to make it everyone else’s problem. my friend u could have just got into a wrestling match w him and u probably WOULDVE WON!!! u couldve made the corinthian sing show-tunes at him for a century! couldve had hob break up w him in the pouring rain!!!! having a whole child and fucking up generations for this shit???? AND IT DIDNT EVEN WORK???? couldnt be me

lucienne: what i’m saying is that you were held under conditions of complete dehumanization for over a century-

dream: i’m not human

lucienne: -shut the fuck up. sire. my lord. your majesty. that’s not the point. you were naked in an orb. for a hundred years.

matthew: yeah that’s fucked up. it’s like capturing mew. from pokémon.

lucienne: it’s exactly like capturing mew from pokémon.

When the sigils don't work and you have to call to tell your little sibling you're visiting

tumblr user greelin changing their icon to The Trident himself means nothing but also everything

Level 40 Dream Endless takes 2d8 emotional damage every turn when faced with Brown Eyes.

Bonus:

[photo ID: Ferdinand Kingsley as 19th century Hob Gadling in “The Sandman” 2022 Netflix adaptation. He is smiling while looking at Morpheus, who is off-screen. Overlaid is a tumblr text post by user jeezllouise which reads, “hate when men have big beautiful brown eyes like a baby cow. shut the fuck up.” Hob has brown eyes. End ID.]

pls appreciate my poorly made meme bc I genuinely think I’m the funniest person alive

So did the pigeons just see like....a giant moody pigeon throwing bread at them????

tried to make him more comic-like… at least that hair :)

Matthew: What even is his password anyway?

Hob: Fuck you Matthew

Matthew: What the hell? You're not even gonna tell me?

Hob: No. That's his password. "FuckYouMatthew"

Matthew: Oh. No numbers, huh? Not too safe.

I wanna write a Hob/Dream fic except it's Dream being like "now we shall have sex" and Hob is like "wait for real" and Dream is like "why would it not be for real" and Hob is like "okay but like imaginary dream sex or like here in my bed right now, what are we talking" and Dream is like "firstly. dream sex is real sex. secondly yeah here on your bed in the waking world, what is confusing" and Hob is like "...like anal sex?" and Dream is like "...if you like? this seems more distressing to you than I anticipated?" Hob is like "well ever since I found out you're the King of Dreams (which was NOT my guess for what your deal was btw fyi) I sorta assumed you...didn't? have the parts?" and Dream is like "the parts?" and Hob has no fucking idea if this. this. being. if he has a penis and balls and or a vagina and or a butthole or like what, is like the deal. what's up down there. metaphysically speaking. "does your kind have sex to reproduce?" and Dream is like "sometimes yes but usually no" and then Hob is like "do you need to eat food to live" and Dream is like *SCOFF* really scoffily because he is a dick, and Hob, losing his mind, is like "okay then you see my confusion because, and I'll be crude here, why do you even need genitals or an asshole" and Dream, horny, is like "FOR SEX"

Okay but the way Lucienne looks down and quietly says "only things you should never know" about The Fates. Idk about you but to me that suggests that she asked the fates for help when Dream was missing and it didn't go as planned

[photo I.D: a gif of the Vine, “Two Moms at Brunch” by user drewistru. drewistru acts as two different moms as they eat - having a silent, heated conversation solely through the use of animated facial expressions. /end I.D.]