Diagnosed

I've been wanting to write about this one for over a month, now, but I've had this writer's block on on the urge. It's been awful. So today I finally just sat down and started writing. If this post is rambly, sorry.

I've been suffering from chronic pain and fatigue for over 10 years, and I have various medical issues that cause those problems. But those problems got drastically worse after I had Covid in Thanksgiving of 2022. I was fully vaccinated, but I am immunocompromised, so I wasn't surprised when I caught it from my son anyway.

I spent the past year going from specialist to specialist (and changing a couple of primary care doctors I wasn't happy with, anyway), trying to get them to understand this was a case of Long Covid. However, I ended up being misdiagnosed or finding doctors that didn't even think Long Covid was a thing. Some thought Houston didn't have a Long Covid clinic (or didn't want to refer outside of their hospital system). But in general, they shuffled me through and I felt like I wasn't taken seriously with these doctors. Eventually, I gave up.

Just about 3 months ago I had an appointment with a new pulmonary specialist at UT Med Center. After the first 5 minutes with me, before ordering any tests, he said, "You have Long Covid. I'm going to refer you to our Long Covid Clinic here at UT."

After one visit with the Long Covid doctor (this guy spent an entire HOUR with me in the appointment), he told me I have ME/CFS and POTS, both of which came from having Covid the prior year. ME/CFS is a form of Chronic Fatigue and more can be found out about it here:

I could have been treated there at least 6 months ago. Possibly 9 months ago, if any of my other doctors had taken me seriously, goddamnit! But now, for the past year, my health has gradually gotten worse because I haven't been able to do a goddamn thing. When you aren't able to do, you lose your strength. You lose your stamina. You lose a lot of things. By now, I'm pretty much housebound. It seems I only get out when I have a doctor's appointment. I see more doctors than people I know and that can be depressing.

But I finally got a diagnosis, and the feeling of relief was amazing. I literally cried, right there, when I heard the news. Not because this has no cure, but because a doctor finally took me seriously. I felt like my fight was over and I could finally get help.

And that's exactly what I'm getting. All my specialists are at UT, now, and they know about the Long Covid clinic. They're right there at the same location. I'm already getting some PT at home, for as long as insurance pays for it anyway. Insurance is paying for spinal injection procedures for chronic pain now, where they were denying them, previously. I have a couple of other new specialists that handle other areas of ME/CFS that I'm supposed to see after the holidays. Things are finally moving.

I have hope.

This is going to take a long time...

Now that things are unpacked, I'm going through and deciding what to sell. You know, what exactly haven't I seen in months and not noticed? Well? Unless it's a seasonal thing I may as well sell it, right?

This is always good way to find out if there's a monster in the closet. And if there is, one should properly introduce oneself, of course. Don't forget to show up to the closet door with a nice casserole dish! HAHA

Sleeplessness

What happened? I woke up around 3:30 this morning. No particular reason. I don't hurt that much. Yeah, I did fall asleep unusually early last night for some reason, and I did get a decent amount of sleep. So, after trying and not succeeding to get back to sleep, I got out of bed.

I was immediately welcomed by my three cats, who were pleased I was awake with them. They will want gooshy food early this morning, I imagine. Well, they will have to wait. But I did sit in the floor and spend some time with them. But, it's not time for them to eat, and I decided to tackle "Mt. Laundrymore" instead. Hanging up my clean clothes is one of my procrastination hangups. Doing the laundry is never a problem. Then I went into the kitchen for water, coffee, and "first breakfast" (I am still underweight).

Two hours later. I'm still not sleepy. I'm only just now putting music on.

What wakes us in these moments? Is it just outside noise in the middle of the night? Or is it the "noise" inside our heads that we never acknowledge? Like the noise of my procrastination on the laundry, screaming at my subconscious, telling me I'm inadequate because I never hang up my clean clothes? Hmm... I suppose I'll find out tonight, when I go to sleep. Haha!!

Chosen Family

Man, sometimes blood family can really let you down. And, when that happens it really breaks your heart. But that's what makes you appreciate your chosen family.

Not going into what this was about. I'm just grateful today for my chosen family, my close friends, and their support. I love you all.

Progress finally being made!!!

Finally! Although I don't trust it by now, and I hesitate to be hopeful. I've been fighting these damnable doctors and my insurance company for a little over 2 months. I swear, American Medical has evolved into a form of legalized "organized crime", sponsored by our own fucking government. We pay them "protection money" and they aren't "protecting" us anymore.

Ok, here's where we are.

After the car accident 2 months ago, insurance denied the MRIs for my thoracic and lumbar, demanding I do PT first. This didn't make sense, as it would risk severing my SPINAL CORD and causing PARALYSIS (no doctor has understood this denial). Insurance denied these on 2 occasions.

Insurance has denied infusions for pain relief so I can avoid opioids.

Insurance has denied infusions for steroid treatments for the inflammation, which is causing nerve damage. Oral steroids aren't going to cut it. Oral anything isn't going to cut it. That's how bad it is.

Insurance finally approved the 2 MRIs after someone at my spinal doc's office did something. I have no idea what. I swear, this guy is probably the only one of the specialists in the world I have who gives a shit, which explains why it takes so long to actually see *him* instead of his PA. Also seeing a pain specialist he's suggesting. Thank fuck. Same day as the MRIs but I don't care. They're right there next to each other.

Also filed a grievance with my goddamn insurance company. Blue Cross Blue Shield of Texas Medicare Advantage. And, yes, there IS a difference in how they treat you if you're on Medicare Advantage. Their coverage, from what I've heard, is still ok if you're on their non-Marketplace plans. But, if you're on a Marketplace, or a Medicare Advantage Plan, they're only in it for every penny they can keep for themselves. They don't give a rat's ass about you. Unfortunately, I found all this out after I went with Medicare Advantage. Now, I'm kicking myself for telling people to do the same.

Oh! Damn near forgot - my medical expenses are going to be reimbursed, up to a point, too!!!! My car insurance claim rep finally got through the BS with chasing down all the BS with DoorDash and the bitch who hit me. Yeah....either that bitch wasn't on an active run, or she just didn't really work for Door Dash. BUT, this isn't all bad news. See, this is why it's always a good idea to have that uninsured motorist coverage, kiddies, even if you only have an old, used car that's paid off and you have liability only. With uninsured motorist coverage, if someone hits you and has no coverage, if you're injured, your insurance can reimburse your expenses up to $X (X=noted in your policy). So, all these co-pays I've had, I'll at least get those back. I don't know if I'll get more back or not. If I do, BONUS! If not, I'll still be happy.

An Introduction

Hey, I'm not going to write much right now, but I should at least introduce myself. Let's get that right out of the way. And this blog isn't going to be "visual" until I get whatever is going on in my neck, shoulder, spine, and every fucking joint in my body under control. I need to conserve how much time I spend on the keyboard right now.

You see, I'm one of the numerous people who suffer from chronic pain. I've dealt with it for so long ... goddamn, I've lost track of how long. Of course, I'm a woman, in the United States, which means I'm totally bent over when it comes to a doctor taking me seriously on anything.

Oh, this isn't an introduction, is it? It's really more of a post. Sorry. I really hurt right now.

You're going to see some kind of rant here, especially on American Medical, Big Pharma, Women's Rights (VERY IMPORTANT). Also, Healing the Inner Child, PTSD, Therapy, Epilepsy Awareness, Mental Health Awareness, and many other topics.

I'm one of the older GenX'ers (gods, did I spell that right??) and proud of it, baby!

Last thing right now. You will see a profuse use of the words "fuck" (and its various conjugations), "cunt", "goddamn", "cocksucker", and on and on. I do not believe these words are offensive. No. Words that attack a person's race, sex, gender, orientation, body size, etc....are offensive. These are words that harm other people. They go far beyond the "shock" value and the "Well, I never!!" reactions people have.

Alright. This should give you a rough idea of who I am, at least for right now. More later, when I address all this other crap.