When we're looking at why Wei Wuxian took so long to even consider that Lan Wangji might really like him, I think we should maybe place more weight on that time when they were trapped in a cave together at around age eighteen, and Lan Wangji told him his dad was dying and started to cry and Wei Wuxian was like SHIT and fidgeted awkwardly for a while like ahhhhh I hate when people cry especially men what do I do????

And then he tried to find something to say and Lan Wangji was like 'shut up' and he shut up, and Lan Wangji said 'you're a loathsome person' and he shut up so hard he left him alone for three entire days.

Like if I spent three days trapped in hell with someone, restraining myself from reaching out for human interaction because not subjecting them to my personality was literally the only thing I could do to help with their state of misery.

I would have a real hard time letting go of the understanding that the thing this person wanted from me was not to have to deal with me.

Path Unlocked

A loving, married couple wake up one day to find that they have returned to their high school days, when they were the most popular student and the class geek.

not wei wuxian saying “it’s, uh, normal for men to do stuff like this once in a while” immediately after like ????

late late happy women's day ‼️

going a bit nuts over the first interaction between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji upon his return from the Burial Mounds.

aside: i’m assuming that Lan Wangji acquired the title Hanguang Jun during the Sunshot Campaign (i don’t recall this being explicitly stated but it seems to make sense??), so it would have to have happened during the three months that Wei Wuxian was missing. and when he returns, he tells JC that he investigated and learned that he and JYL were well before going on his revenge path. but he addresses LWJ as Hanguang-Jun, revealing that he’s also checked in on him.

but to my point:

when LWJ refers to him as “Wei Ying,” it implies a closeness or intimacy after everything they’d shared and been through, even upon seeing him like this!! that’s a lot for LWJ! but when WWX, who has called him “Lan Zhan” even when it wasn’t appropriate and kept pushing for them to be friends all these years, suddenly calls him by the respectful honorific “Hanguang-Jun,” it’s a direct “fuck off, we are not friends.” and i think this is an intentional distancing from someone he cares about, someone whose opinion he values but whose affection he simply can’t bear at this time bc he’s overflowing with pain and grief and guilt and hate. and this has to be just as jarring for poor LWJ as seeing him like this in the first place.

then, when LWJ confronts him about his methods and WWX is clearly annoyed, he challenges him with basically a “wtf are you gonna do about it?”, before jumping to an obviously disingenuous “Lan Zhan”, coldly mocking LWJ’s belief in their friendship. (“We’ve just been reunited after so long […] That’s not nice, is it?” is enough to give you whiplash after the initial response.)

when LWJ doesn’t budge, WWX takes it a step further, imitating JC’s address of “Lan-er-gonzi”, again in a subtly mocking way. LWJ calls him “Wei Ying” once more, still trying to reach out, until WWX says his well-being is none of LWJ’s business.

at this point, LWJ loses his cool and yells “Wei Wuxian” to be met with an equally angry “Lan Wangji!” and this last outburst is basically LWJ conceding and taking a step back, allowing the distance between them bc WWX won’t let him near.

the way they say each others names says more about the conversation they’re having than the actual words they’re using, and i’m losing my mind about it.

This piece was originally drawn for the JP audio drama's 2023 illustration contest of which I was one of the third prize winners. MDZS's French publisher asked to include it with volume 3 of the French edition, so I made a few edits for them and that is the version you see here.

(You can see my other guest contributions to the French edition of MDZS by browsing this tag.)

I was reading a CQL fanfic today (because I will never be able to let go of this story, be it the novels, graphic novels, animation or series) and it made me realise something.

NHS knew it was WWX from the beginning, not MXY, because he’s the one that orchestrated WWX’s resurrection. This, I knew. BUT, what I realised was that when WWX used the exact words NHS had used to describe the fan (2 wars, multiple life altering incidents, death and a good decade and a bit later), NHS would have realised his old friend, whom he’d just helped resurrect, remembers those small conversations they used to have, remembers that this is NHS’s favourite fan and WWX chooses to say something complimentary about it, unlike the first time, because he knows now why NHS prefers artistic avenues over wielding the cursed sabers of his sect.

This was something small I’d missed while watching the series, but I can’t help but think about how NHS must have felt in that moment, after having lost the people close to him, like WWX, and to have one of them back, after so long.

Thank you for your time reading this delayed realisation of mine. I will now return to my tears…

STOP, JUST STOP

THÔI NHA TRỜI ƠI

im totally not thinking about wei wuxian humming wangxian to himself at the bottom of the burial mounds, half dead

because that would mean im crying and im DEFINITELY NOT

Novel WWX: Since reincarnating in Mo Xuanyu's body, I'm not as high on the eligible bachelor's list.

Donghua WWX: Yeah, Mo Xuanyu isn't nearly as handsome, but I'm still pretty cute in this body.

Manhua WWX: I do miss being tall though.

Live action WWX: What are you guys talking about?

Part 2

in this read-through of mdzs, i keep thinking about the parallel that’s drawn between the relationships between Wei Wuxian & Jiang Cheng and Xiao Xingchen & Song Lan.

we have the very close brotherly bond, broken by a dispute where one of them (JC/SL) is seriously hurt and blames the other. WWX and XXC then give up a vital part of themselves (golden core and eyes) to repay what they perceive as their debt to the other. this ends up leading them on a dark path where they rely on other powers (XXC’s sword and WWX necromancy) to make up for what they lost in the sacrifice, which eventually causes them to kill innocent people, suffer greatly, and die of (arguably in WWX’s case) suicide. this is a very broad brush strokes parallel of course, and the situations aren’t identical but still similar enough to be clearly intentional.

after XXC dies, SL decides to roam the world fighting evil alongside his friend’s soul, intending to heal it and tell him that it wasn’t his fault.

after WWX dies, JC tries to hunt down his soul to destroy it completely because everything is his fault.

disclaimer: i’m not a JC hater. i think he’s a brilliantly complex and morally grey character. i think ppl who think he’s done nothing wrong are equally as wrong as the ones who think he’s an irredeemable piece of shit. that’s not the point and this post isn’t about him.

but this difference in an otherwise incredibly similar narrative is striking! and it’s jarring that WWX actually gets the happier ending.

which brings me (surprise surprise) to Lan Wangji and the blindfold scene. and my connection here isn’t as solid as i’d like it to be so i may need to think it over some more, but i do think there’s a connection, bc the only other time we encounter blindfolds* are with the character of XXC. and if we draw the line between WWX and XXC from the above, the blindfold scene during the hunting party seems to reach forward in time to connect us back to this. the kiss that Lan Wangji feels incredibly guilty about, that he likely perceives as a violation, a loss of integrity and self control, which echoes some of the dark-path-experiences of the above, but that also kinda creates this lifeline from the doomed narrative of an irreparable damage of brotherhood to a new connection between LWJ and WWX, which blossoms here and leads LWJ to try desperately to prevent WWX from going down the dark path to begin with. it has a fairy-tale-like quality to it, like the brave knight who kisses the sleeping princess to save her. but bc it’s all entangled in the above relationships, and it’s technically already too late, the saving doesn’t happen until after WWX comes back and LWJ has learned how to save him, not by stopping him but by trusting, supporting, and protecting him.

this is all rambly, run-on, and incoherent but there’s something there, i swear it!!

Mark for later: * exist *

Me: let’s just mark stuff I want to read later there

Also me: * bookmark absolute everything that seem intriguing despite have yet to read anything *

Or

* open a new tap and just leave them there *

Caves are weirder and more varied than you think

There’s a fic on fanfiction(.)net that I’ve kept tabs on for years to see if it’s been updated or not. While I’m no longer even in the fandom it’s written for, it just has one of the greatest storylines I’ve ever read. Last time it was updated was 2011.

The other day, I decided to reread the entire thing and leave a very in-depth review of what I thought of each chapter. I also mentioned how I started reading it when I was 13 and am now 21, but always came back to see if it was ever finished because I loved it so dearly.

Today, said author sent me a private message saying that her analytics showed that the story was still getting views even after all these years, but no one ever bothered to leave reviews other than “update soon!!!”, so she never felt motivated enough to finish it. She said that me reviewing every single chapter with lengthy paragraphs made her cry and meant the world to her. She also mentioned that she felt encouraged to write the two remaining chapters needed to complete the story and that she would send me a message the night before she updates the fic.

I’m literally sobbing. I’m so excited :’)

Please always remember to leave a review when reading fanfiction!!! It means a lot to a writer.

View Suspended II by Dutch artist Paul Veroude

View Suspended is an art installation by Paul Veroude in which a Mercedes F1 car was 'exploded' into 3,200 parts, each part suspended by string tethered to the ceiling of Mercedes-Benz World's F1 exhibition in Surrey, UK.

:/

Wangxian warmup doodle.