girl who wont shut up about how she "loves a man in uniform" but as she keeps talking it becomes clear she's talking about butches in customer service jobs

The three distinct types of found family:

Commits crimes together.

Fights crimes together.

Constantly switching back and forth between the other two at a horrifying speed.

you can imagine girls covered in alarming amounts of blood for free any time you want. they cant stop you from doing this

it's such a bummer that losing control of your emotions only makes the entire situation worse in really embarrassing personal ways. losing control of my emotions should give me pyrokinesis.

Reminder, since we're entering slush season and a lot of people are buying them now: door mats that say "welcome," "come on in" or similar messages count as invitations to both the fey and vampires.

Door mats that say "Smith Household" etc are safe if you live near vampires, but may count as giving your name out to the fey. Don't risk it.

Door mats with neutral images or text are fine, but make sure it's actually neutral. It turns out all those cheeky d20 mats that say 'roll for initiative' not only count as an invitation but an invitation to fight.

Had a group night at the Agency where we drew together! Here's Jacob's drawing of the Agency members! He's so talented!

Art by @space-is-out-there

So many, but here's my main one: Love triangles. Especially if it's between the boring protagonist having to pick between two EQUALLY boring suitors! That's not a triangle, it's a V! If you ask me, they should all just form a poly squad. That's a real triangle!

@fanfictionjumbler

I’m naming my biggest pet peeves when it comes to some anime, vent, and then tag someone to go next! Why? Cuz I felt like it!

My top pet peeve being anime characters that are suppose to be part animal with animal ears, but for some reason also had human ears!

Seriously, it’s always a turn off for me in games, manga, and anime. It just tells me that the creators only care if the characters look pretty and don’t care enough to pay attention to those details.

The only exceptions for me is when it’s only momentary to display their quirky personalities. A good example being Maomao from Apothecary Diaries whenever she gets excited. Another exception is if the ears are just part of a hairstyle or just accessories to compliment the character.

Other than that, it just irks me so much! Heck, freaking My Little Pony does this correctly in Equestria Girls! When they do their transformation and gain pony ears, their human ears flat out magically disappears! If a cartoon aimed at kids cared enough to show that much detail, then there’s no excuse!

Which is why when I do see anime or the like using demihumans that actually do this correctly, I’m like, “YES! THEY CARE! THANK YOU!”

As for who I’ll tag…

@lucakairomi

Man, the flesh sucks. I'm gonna abandon it for the machine.

Hello,

Our resident Sliggoo seems to have trouble telling the difference between food and objects (and my prosthetic arm). Since he's blind, we've done our best to make the house more accessible to him, but I was wondering if you had any tips? Also, is Sliggoo... goo... corrosive? I always wash my hands after I pet him, but I'd like to know just in case.

Hey there!

Sounds like you got your work cut out for you, let me see, we have worked with some blind pokemon, even my trusted partner Bliss, a very large Beedrill who is very protective of small pokemon, has serious vision problems in one of her eyes.

I think the biggest challenge is space for your Sliggoo. They can tell what they are touching by absorbing it into their body a bit.

Imagine their body like one large tongue, they know if something is dangerous, tasty, friendly, etc, by absorbing it into their skin a bit and seeing how it affects them, just like humans need to taste certain things to know if it's good.

They can also use their little antenna and shell for some area perception and light echolocation, but smell, taste, and feel are going to be their biggest senses.

I would suggest you help your Sliggoo with sensory training, get them used to using more smell so they can tell the difference between toys and food, and will be less likely to have the confusion.

If you want to make your house more friendly, then you'll probably want hard floors, probably concrete or linoleum, so he can get around easier, and you can clean up easier.

You should also consider putting down textured strips in a path so your Sliggoo will know he's on the right path for certain areas like, a line that goes through the kitchen, to the living room, to the bedroom, bathroom, etc.

It's like a train track for them.

As for your arm, Sliggoo's goo is more water-based, so it's actually pretty good for people's skin, but you might not want to get it in certain things that can rust.

It is not acidic, however, unless sligoo chooses to use its acidic goo.

If you have a prosthetic, make sure it's plastic or has been water sealed.

Other than that, I think you all should be good, but feel free to ask more if you need help.

me. I am.

i love when people try to insult me bcs they always give me sickass descriptors for myself. never heard an actually insulting one

According to our resident herpetologist Jacob:

There's only three snake species native to England, and only one is venomous: the adder. They're large, but not usually a threat to people.

According to our resident genius Koya, bats are one of the animals that can transmit rabies to humans, which is fatal if contracted. It could also be a confused vampire. Either way, snake has gotta be the way to go.

Here's a tough one:

You have to remove an animal from a room. Your equipment is a long stick, a bucket and a hoodie.

I may seem cool and unflappable, but I got this badass scar trying to open a can of sliced peaches 😎

whump community give unto me your most pathetic wet cardboard lady whumpees. give me your sexiest, sultriest, 100% pure bitch with red lipstick lady whumper. give me your sweetest, kindest, gentlest lady caretaker.

they are all my girlfriends now

i know the whump community hates women characters or whatever but the lesbian in me is dying for bloody femininity please

let them have thicc thighs and bazoinkas and wear dresses with the hem ripped to shreds so they can run faster. have them sprint in heels. have them use their stilettos as weapons when they jam it into a person's eye. girls kissing girls. beautifully manicured nails chipped and broken away or idly tracing the length of a blade. fishnets and stockings with runs gouged in them. low cut blouses that leave their collarbones exposed to be traced with the tip of a weapon. tight dresses that hug every curve to distract wandering eyes while they spike a drink. girls kissing girls. long silky hair to be wrapped around a hand and pulled. messy curls. a sultry villainess or a vixen in distress. smeared lipstick and mascara running down their cheeks. jewelry ripped from their necks and earrings torn from their lobes. clawing their way out of the carnage to emerge victorious, drenched in blood, beautiful in their madness. being upset that their hair was forcibly cut or their favorite bra was snapped or missing their skincare routine. girls kissing girls. feeling icky when they've been stripped of their womanhood. being empowered when they reclaim what's rightfully theirs through any means necessary. using their sweet face and lilting voice to draw a false sense of security in their victims. feminine rage and revenge. being underestimated because what could such a pretty little thing like her do? girls kissing girls. ultra femme cottagecore babe drenched in red. black leather dommy mommy being the gentlest caretaker. sisterhood. to be kind and nurturing or cold and cruel. did i mention the girls kissing girls.

Does anyone at the agency have any New Year’s resolutions?

I know Koya wants to beat his record of cases solved in a year- 143 is the number to beat, apparently! It should be higher, but he refuses to count the ones I've named. "The Auspicious Angler" is a perfectly fine case name- and it's alliterative!

Arnold wants to remodel the bathroom- a tall order, for sure, but I believe in him! Lord knows Koya won't be of much help, unless he thinks there's some sort of new undiscovered species of mold growing in there. With what he tracks into the house, it wouldn’t surprise me.

Sylvester says he's going to start cutting back on smoking, since it makes the entire place smell- and Smudge cough. Meg is a fan of this one, and so am I! Kick the habit, Sylv! Just please don't start vaping instead...

Smudge says his New Year's resolution is to... eat "that thing on the table that smells yummy". Better go tell Meg to move the candles up higher...

Meg wants to stop Smudge from eating our candles. (It won't happen.)

As for me, I don't usually make New Year's resolutions because I'm awesome the way I am! But if I had to pick one, I'd want to solve more cases this year! A really big one, too! And I'll call it... well. I guess I'll have to wait and see!

Hello there! You've been visited by the random question fairy! ~ ☆

Who is on your character's metaphorical (or literal!) 'block' list? Who irritates your character just by existing? Who do they despise unconditionally? Why does your character feel this way?

I have an extensive block list, and an even longer list of people who irritate me. Malik is definitely on that list... as is Koya's brother. Not like that stops him. Constantly asking us to spy on his brother for him gets old pretty fast, and I probably don't need to elaborate on why I have a certain Southern asshole blocked...

As for despising unconditionally, I'd say the only person with the honor(?) of a place there is Damienne Noire. Multiple murder attempts will do that to you... also he's French. Need I say more?

Congratulations! You've found the fairy's...

🌟❤️~~Character Question Summoning Post~~❤️🌟

If you would like a character-focused question from the fairy, please reblog!