littlethistle17
acanthium
Head strong,
highly strung.
holding it together.
353 posts
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Will i ever be stable, i ask myself again and again.
Will i ever stop swinging, this way, Then that?
Will i settle into a person. Solid and refind.
Desperate for the balance.
A peace within my mind.
Sometimes its like im flying, like im of a differnt kind.
Yet sometimes I cant help feeling the wire begin to unwind.
Its hard underneath this burden.
Its cold behind these walls.
When I am the thing most uncertain in a world full of uncertain things.
Sometimes my soul cries.
Sometimes it sings.
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All the things ill never say to you #1
What i wanted was a long and happy marrige.
What i wanted was a partner who respected and appreciated me.
What i wanted was my child to grow up in a stable home.
What I wanted was my trust not to be misplaced.
What I wanted was to matter to you the way you mattered to me.
What i got was lies.
What i got was deception.
What i got was broken promises.
What i got was disrespect.
What i got was blame.
Hatred.
Venom.
Wrath.
What I got was near 10 months of waiting for the man I adored to wake the fuck up and make good choices.
Only he didnt.
Not once.
And now what im left with is this bullshit. Some fucked up Fantasy youve created in your head that somehow managed to not only paint me as a bad guy but also to tear down the skills I have worked fucking hard for, to discretion the life im making for myself, despite you.
Its funny how not being your wife, for my own survival. instantly means i have to be a phychotic villian in your story.
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i want to yell at you. i want to grab your shoulders and shake and just ask you why you had to make me fall in love with you. but i know that i can’t blame you. it’s no ones fault but mine
i broke my own heart
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I don’t think I will ever fully get over what happened with us, you came in & became such a huge part of my life and now with you gone, that space will never be filled back up. It’s just empty space that holds such a big loss.
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It's safe to say, after weeks and weeks of holding it up,
I'm so scared for my mind to come crashing down once again.
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“There used to be a path here… but thorn bushes have since grown.”
— Protect your heart (Via @spilledinkandtears)
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They say it gets easier.
They where wrong.
Every night it gets worse.
Every night I lie here wishing and wishing and wishing.
But wishing doesnt change a thing.
Wishing doesnt change what you did.
Wishing wont bring you back.
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it's 3am but i'm still awake because i can't close my eyes without seeing your face, and it hurts my chest remembering the things you said the last time we spoke and i wonder how it's even possible to be so monumentally blindsided by someone.
i wish i had known the signs. i wish i had been intuitive and wise and run a mile the moment i met you.
which is worse; to be naive or to be cruel? we all have issues, but that shouldn't be an excuse to hurt people. i didn't deserve what you did. we both know i didn't deserve it.
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How many sleepless nights can i take
I thought i would be tired.
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“It’s scary how fast things can change. What I mean is, it’s scary how quickly two people can go from talking to each other every single day, to not talking at all ever again. It’s almost as if nothing ever happened between them in the first place. They walk out so quickly from each other’s lives as if they never even cared. I guess it’s scary to me how fast people can throw other people away in an instant.”
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I told you
When it hit me
It would hit me
Didn't I?
Now look at me
Pathetic
Knocked down crying on the dirty floor.
My numbness comes in waves
And tonight it was a tsunami.
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“And so it seems I must always write you letters that I can never send.”
— Sylvia Plath
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I’m angry with you, but I’m not going to lie; I miss you, and no matter what I do you’re never off my mind.
a.a.
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Confidence and integrity are never toxic.
minusthenegative.com
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“When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags”
— Wanda Pierce (Bojack Horseman)
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