lion-and-dragon
I’m just fucking with you, my liege
sideblog for an army of two.
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BDSM gets a bad rep as like a violent (male) dom pushing the boundaries of a reluctant (female) sub but in my experience it's a lot of subs with wildly elaborate fantasies screaming shit like "PUT MY ASS IN THE CHILI" while a new dom is like "Okay I think, we are reaching yellow for me,"
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nobody understands the appeal of a flat chested evil goth girl. fucked up
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Old men on grindr: “Want to be my piss slave? Daddy wants to teach you a lesson you dirty slut”
Me:
#as much as i appreciate whoever reblogged this here because it is funny#you know damn well that is not my response
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Photo
Sigmar Polke - Agate Windows in Grossmünster, Zurich, 2006
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Picking strawberries with a beautiful girl and I’m not even smiling I’m just picking the most strategic berries so we can leave and I can go answer emails
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Daenerys/Jorah + tumblr text posts (part 11/?)
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i think the hottest look you can give someone after they commit acts of unspeakable violence is approval. like don't get me wrong if there's lust there too that's great, but staring at someone with gore dripping down their chin and coating their hands to the wrists with undisguised appraisal and admiration. maybe giving them a little nod as if to say 'well done'. THAT'S what says "yeah we're gonna fuck nasty later".
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"Cyber Svetlana" 2021. by polinatammi on instagram
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wine for idiots
WHITE WINE
if you want to make a wine person very unhappy, say that a white wine they like "is giving me a little green bell pepper?"
RED WINE
honestly the only two questions you need to start credibly talking about red wine are "does it taste like red fruits (strawberry/cherry/raspberry) or black fruits (blackberry/plum)?" and "does it taste oaky (i.e. gently sweet and earthy in a way youd associate with coffee or chocolate or warming spices)
if its a fancy dry wine (not a dessert wine, not port, manischewitz or markovic) dont say "sweet," say "juicy"
FIZZY WINE
if its red and fizzy its probably a lambrusco
if youre drinking champagne talk about the "minerality," even chalk notes if youre feeling gutsy. you dont have to taste it just say it
ORANGE WINE
this is very trendy. youre gonna want to talk about its "funkiness." if you use the term "gym socks" at the right time you will get a round of laughs or at least knowing nods. if you see shmutz in the bottom dont worry about it.
MISC
if you want a wine person to talk for a while and not ask you any questions just ask them how they feel about natural wine. theyll go on for a little and you can decide to agree or disagree based on how hot they are
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