lepiidopterophobia
LIGHTBEARER.
you're the daughter of silent watching stones.
you watch the stars hurl all their fundaments, in wonderment,
forever asking more.
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I MAY END UP HAVING TO MOVE SAV ONTO MY MULTI ( @fiirecracker ) JUST BC MAN. MAN HORSE ON BEACH.
i used to be able to run 400 blogs but now im like.... perhaps one IS easier.
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THIS WEEK WAS FOR ME AND ONLY FOR ME.
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oh, osiris if you only knew.
there is nothing inherently wrong about this guardian; not from a literal sense. she is a new light. she is a guardian, freshly risen and brought to the city by one of its own hero's guiding hands. new lights enter these walls all the time. they are greeted as new friends, as possible family.
but even the truth has missing pieces and hidden layers. and this new light is no human. she is not even terran. she is the sister of shapes, the embodiment of lies and cunning. she is that which raked across your mind and left you unresponsive for months. and, though she may lack her memories, she does not lack true cleverness.
"you would not believe how many times i've heard similar," says the warlock. the gentle laugh that escapes echoes in the hollow of her chest. she can taste cicada skin in the back of her throat. "your vanguard has stopped me in the hall a few times already."
she rests both hands in her lap, straightens her shoulders. the smile never leaves her face, even as the chitin beneath her skin itches. for too long she has been forced to wear this disguise. for too long, she has been confined to this shape of skin and muscle. she itches to shed this frail flesh and return to her full glory, to soar in the skies once more.
it cannot be done. not yet. not until theo has struck the final deal with her right hand. not until they know more of what will be, and what will become of her.
and so, she smiles. "such is what i have been told. forgive my staring from earlier; i did not mean to offend." she offers a hand. "satya. i believe theo vesh called me a... warlock."
his brows are drawn tight with his posture even more so. through even the deepest depths, his mind is still as sharp as the blades once forged and wielded. and there is something not right about this guardian.
don't get him wrong, he's seen all sorts of strange guardians. warlocks who never blink. hunters without shadows. titans that don't eat or sleep. but her... it's different and he cannot pinpoint exactly what that difference is. only that it's there. there is something that distorts the edges of reality around her. if he could just... peel it back.
osiris forces himself to calm. he is in the last city. he is in the last city and... making a fool of himself. he can't just go around accusing people of hiding things. this is why people don't trust him. there is a time and place for doubt, and now is not the time nor place. not every shadow needs to be an edge.
he looks away, ashamed of how he acted. he clears his throat and looks down at his feet, swaying a little as he folds his arms over his chest. " i... thought i recognized you. "
a feeble excuse, but an easy one to make. he's been alive for a long time, and memory is not as sharp as he'd wish it. faces tend to blend. so unlike saint — who recalls every face he's saved and every face he's lost. and maybe that is in part to his own selfishness. or the fact he worries over the big picture, rather than details.
(he still remembers the bodies in the ruble.)
he pushes past the omission of truth and chooses instead to try and save face. pleasantries. " you are a new light, correct? "
#exilegend#❝ AIN’T NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN ( IC. )#❝ HOLD THE HAND OF THE GODCHILD THEY SAY AS SHE FALLS FROM THE SKY ( VERSE II. )
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pizza party for "one"
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“because that is what all you guardians are after. a golden engram, the latest exotic— something shiny, something worth a few thousand glimmer, if not more.” savathun’s dulcet tones echo as her great form lowers. she does not approach laterally, and instead allows the basin of the altar itself to remain between them. but she is closer. she is smiling. “that is why your comrades trounce through my throne world now, guardian. they search for that which will make them the next crucible star.”
her shoulders tremble with a mirthful chuckle. the smell of vanilla and boiled silk wafts through the air.
he is nothing like what she expected. the stories woven through her songs, hymns of the forgotten left by those who remembered, had spoken of those like him. titans, with their wide shoulders and loose heads. she had wondered, then, how she-who-was could have loved one so foolish. but she sees it, now. the cleverness in those eyes. the caution.
he is not like his kin. his is something more. he is something of her making, of her brood. the thought makes something in her midgut twist. she-who-was had shaped him, and now he will shape she-who-is.
“is this how you bested those who came before, guardian? with heavy steps and demanding answers? do you think that is how you will best me?” laughter echoes through the unending emptiness. cicadas hum in her chest, their wings filling the cracks of her voice. she looms in the bathing Light of her altar, and she is holy. “no, this is one mystery you will need to unravel yourself.”
shock hits his face and cuts through his indignation like a brick through a window. “i– an– an engram?”
there is a brief moment of lucid clarity. before him is the arbiter of his nightmares, the god that had tried to recreate him in her image – a god who now weilds not only her own power, but the very power he worships and weilds himself. he is outmatched without a fireteam to back him up. it would be easy for her to pluck up his ghost and dispose of him right here. he should leave. he should leave. he should form a grenade in his fist and toss it at her face and pray that buys him enough time. there is no point in dialogue, here, and no safety in it either, not like there was when she was ensnared.
the claws at his ankle dig in. he bites back a sob as it begins to drag him from the place he’d thought was safe to sleep. theo’s grimy nails search for purchase in the cracked tile beneath him, his breathing coming fast as he finds none. he will be dead soon. he will be dead and no one but strange will ever know he even lived, and strange will die soon after.
“–no. no i don’t want– why the fuck would i want an engram? i want answers.” the titan’s lower lip juts out in that pouting scowl reserved for only the greatest of offenders – the ones who’ve managed to push him from mild annoyance to righteous anger. something is nagging in his hindbrain, something about the way she talks. he should keep her talking.
“so? i’m waiting. why are you here? why bother trying to hide?”
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he speaks such heretical claims, and the god of lies laughs. behind her laughter, the flutter of a thousand wings, the screaming of cicadas, the hum of Light as it bathes her glorious throne world. what a foolish little man. what desperation, to drive him to such a wasteland. and then to claim it—
her chin lowers, the last tremors of echoing giggles leaving her, and there is a smile. it splits her face, twists her features. it bares, perhaps, more teeth than humanly possible. and when she turns to look at him, it is with all three bright, glowing eyes.
"it was always mine," says the sister of shapes, in words meant for only him. "i saved this system from the being you would have served it to. i ferried away what it wanted most, and i twisted the truth for the promises of another tomorrow. i did this all out of love, and all before you took your first mucus-filled gasp, bray."
a hand rests between them. its bone-tipped nails dig into the concrete.
"now, connect the dots yourself and tell me who i am."
"Gods were not born from that moon, but one was forged deep within the ice."
His eyes narrow for a moment as he reclaims himself and sits back. he eyes the woman. The way her words are carried. They are unfamiliar yet he has heard women like her speak before. The confidence of the world surges through her blood. Clovis cannot help but find a tinge of respect in that regard, but he still holds a concept at her other words.
" 'Yours to claim' ??" Clovis sounds flabbergasted at the thought before his voice lowers. "It was never yours to begin with. It was always meant to be mine." That last word is carried like a promise made to him by the very universe itself.
"Who are you ??"
He wonder if this was the voice he heard on Europa before. But that voice had a booming presence. This one does not need to make space for the room to hear it. She already knows it does.
#legacyfirst#❝ AIN’T NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN ( IC. )#i don't even know if this makes sense#hides my face and looks away
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try as she might, she cannot look away.
dimly, a part of her is away she is asking for trouble. theo had told her to keep her head down; to enjoy the morning sun, but not attract attention. she is savathûn, after all; sister of shapes, witch queen, the missing piece of all puzzles— her titles continue ad nauseum. she is the cleverest mind in all of existence. and despite it all, she cannot look away.
though he may not be the final piece of the puzzle, he is undoubtedly one in hers. her memories are still scattered. theo refuses to allow her into her thrown world, despite the brood looking for her. but they have her memories. they have her plots. and this warlock... while he does not have what she needs, he has pieces. of that, she is certain.
his mind had been scarred by her magic; green fissures buried so deeply in grey matter she'd feared herself unable to fix them. but she had. and she can feel it now, in that familiar place behind her tongue. she can smell the spices, taste the scream stolen from bloody lips. it is little more than a taste. she requires a feast.
the half-eaten bungeoppang is a hair away from her lips when he turns. bright blue eyes meet warm brown. where he shivers, she straightens. her midgut— or rather, the terran equivalent of it— twists. if she is still hungry, she does not feel it. instead, she feels silken rot caressing her limbs; the echoes of forgotten magic just a breath from the useless, dull things currently serving as her fingers.
not now, thinks cunning incarnate, and lowers wrinkled hands to rest in her lap. the corners of her mouth curve into a smile. the corners of her eyes crinkle into crows feet.
"oh! was i staring?" asks she-who-is. she shakes her head, as though chiding a child. "my deepest apologies; i have not yet grasped how to regulate my features while conversing with my ghost."
osiris has allowed himself to fade into the shadows as he walks the streets today. had he a wardrobe, he might've traded his usually conspicuous garb for something casual. but for now he pulls his scarf closer to his neck as he scans the crowd. people have taken to either giving him more room than he really needs, or pretend they don't see him. it feels as though everyone is watching him. constantly and always. the shadows remember him better than the sun does.
he's only here to run errands. saint said it would do him good to get out of his study and put his mind to other tasks. to look with fresh eyes. he was right, of course, and if he was anyone else he might've been annoyed by that fact. he stops tentatively in front of a fruit stall. at times he still feels so out of place here. he hears hushed tones and glances to his side half expecting them to be staring at him as they whisper. he exhales with relief when he's assured it's merely his anxieties running rampant.
it's when he feels eyes on him that he whips his head around. it must be aunor, trailing his steps, born of concern from ikora though all the same stifling. his hands shake, still so weak from disuse. he is met, instead, with the gaze of striking blue across the way.
something in him twists as a shiver crawls up his spine. he feels a lump in his throat and he takes a step back. every one of his instincts insists he flee and he knows not why.
but he is one to ignore them, in favor of sating curiosities. he forces two steps forward, letting it be known he has the intention to approach.
" you. " he says as he points a finger.
#exilegend#❝ HOLD THE HAND OF THE GODCHILD THEY SAY AS SHE FALLS FROM THE SKY ( VERSE II. )#i replied too fast im so sorry
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TWO human sav faceclaims...
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only one person has ever gotten human!savathun correct and it is this artist (who has not posted the art on their tumblr or i would reblog it.)
it was even posted on my birthday. it was made for me.
#❝ MY BROTHER IN THE LIGHT I AM SIMPLY DOING MY BEST ( OOC. )#this is a joke (about it being made for me) but it is perfect#i love it so much i have to refind it every few weeks
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i know this is in relation to series of unfortunate events but given she's my sav's human fc i'm just sitting here like teehee
#❝ MY BROTHER IN THE LIGHT I AM SIMPLY DOING MY BEST ( OOC. )#i'm making icons#sav has silver locs but i'll take it
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ind. priv. sel.
savathûn, the witch queen, sister of shapes, the first hive lightbearer
as conjured by moss.
you know i never wanted to hurt you—
—but i'm sorry, my friend, this is the end
#❝ I AM YOUR FRIEND ( SELF PROMO. )#reblogging this bc its been a minute#but its my absolute best work
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it has been nearly a year, and yet her survival remains a secret from all who need to know otherwise.
for nine months she has hidden herself amongst their ranks, wearing the face of a stranger. it is not so different from what she-who-was did, theo had told her. only she had worn the face of an ally, a friend. she had worn the face of one of the most famous warlocks, and had gotten away with it. he would not allow the same trick twice.
not that it was an option, she thinks, and takes a bite of the bungeoppang theo had ordered from a local stall.
the pastry is warm in her hands, and the sweet, nutty flavor of red bean paste is welcomed. theo had given her two for breakfast, told her to remain where she was, before he'd shuffled off. to order himself something to eat or simply to puruse the stalls, she wasn't sure. it didn't matter. a moment alone was a welcomed one, even if she was forced into this ridiculous disguise.
her eyes— just two, each a gentle human blue— scan across the scattered terrans as they meander through the bazaar. it is not too crowded on this lazy saturday morning. though the food vendors have been set up for an hour now, others are just opening their stalls, unlocking the doors of their shops. a peaceful start to a peaceful week. it makes her chitin-turned-skin crawl.
she is gazing out across the crowd when a familiar shape catches her eye. a shape she would know anywhere, wrinkled hands and furrowed brows she could never forget. it had been within his mind that she'd dove, only a few days after her resurrection. it had been his awakening that had truly sealed theo's place by her side. and it is him she has been avoiding for months.
and despite every instinct telling her to disappear into the crowd once again, the witch queen finds she cannot tear her gaze away.
@exilegend
#❝ HOLD THE HAND OF THE GODCHILD THEY SAY AS SHE FALLS FROM THE SKY ( VERSE II. )#exilegend#this is such a bad starter im so sorry
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slapping down a verse for where @thvndersnow found savathun RIGHT after the exorcism/before her right hand could find her, and now they're trying to navigate the world from that moment on.
i'll do a format writeup of this verse later but the long and short of it is that theo dove after savathun as the exorcism ended, found her dead body, though that was the end of it-- except it wasn't! and now he's essentially hiding her in the tower with her human guise on, and trying to figure out how the fuck to deal with this. while complaining the whole time.
i'll make a few starters or some shit for it eventually idk man.
#❝ MY BROTHER IN THE LIGHT I AM SIMPLY DOING MY BEST ( OOC. )#❝ HOLD THE HAND OF THE GODCHILD THEY SAY AS SHE FALLS FROM THE SKY ( VERSE II. )#i love aus don't look @ me
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a collection of my own writings … sentence starters
a warning for dark themes and profanity
“ i was just a kid. “
“ i want to be soft… “
“ you are immovable. “
“ do you forgive yourself? “
“ can i stop fighting, now? “
“ you were different. you cared. “
“ you never really cared, did you? “
“ i keep waiting for it to get easier. “
“ i’d lay down my life to keep you safe. “
“ think i’m owed a happy day… just one. “
“ i should’ve known better than to trust you. “
“ who the hell gave you the right to hurt me? “
“ you always made me believe that it was okay. “
“ no one’s ever smiled at me the way that you did. “
“ i thought i had forgiven. i thought i had forgotten. “
“ but, anger is damn well better than nothing, right? “
“ maybe some people are just made to be shattered. “
“ you gave. and you gave. expected nothing in return. “
“ all the love I’ve ever known… has never been gentle. “
“ do i fear you…? since when does a wolf fear its prey? “
“ something inside you is broken. maybe it always was. “
“ i’ll never forget their faces. i still see them every night. “
“ why do i find myself missing a life that never even was? “
“ maybe it’s time to show them what a mistake they’ve made. “
“ i didn’t know how far i’d fallen. i don’t know how i can escape. “
“ and, sure, you can fool them… but, you can’t fool them forever. “
“ i fucking hate it when you smile, because i know what’s beneath it. “
“ i found myself craving touch, aching to be held, if only for a moment. “
“ i’ll hold your heart as it deserves to be. i’ll protect it to my final breath. “
“ no, you were never meant for this, but that will not stop you from trying. “
“ i guess i always knew it was too good to be true. shame on me for hoping. “
“ a fire still has a way of blazing ,still eats you alive, even if you aren’t looking. “
“ if that’s what it takes… i’ll let the beast inside win and claw my way through this. “
“ you thought you could keep them all fooled, but your silver tongue keeps slipping. “
“ you will have my forgiveness, time and time, again. always. —— but, my trust…? “
“ i would do whatever it took to protect you… let my hands drip r e d to keep you safe. “
“ oh, yeah, there’s a lot of things i would love to say to you… ‘ fuck you ‘ comes to mind. “
“ there’s still so much of me that’s pieces of you. and i can never seem to claw them all out. “
“ how do i trust you won’t bring the lighter, the gasoline and set my garden ablaze as they did?
“ i was too young for these scars on my heart. i was too young for this blood on my hands.”
“ we climbed all the way to the stars, but heaven knows we were doomed to fall from the start. “
“ wounds don’t ever heal. you just notice them less. on good days, you forget they exist at all. “
“ why the hell do i rearrange my world for you… when you pretend i’m not even a part of yours?”
“ it took me long enough, but i think i’ve finally figured it out. i’m the villain of this story after all… “
“ the moment they touch you is the moment they should be falling to their knees, pleading for mercy. “
“ they dropped the world on your shoulders and called you atlas. ——- how long can you hold the weight? “
“ i could live without you. i could fight without you. i could survive without you. but, that doesn’t mean i want to… “
“ you were once among the strongest, appearing unbreakable, unshakable… oh, but, darling, even Rome’s walls crumbled. “
“ i don’t know how to put it into words how much i need you, how much i love you… i just know i sleep better when you’re beside me. “
“ they molded you into a monster. sharpened your claws, your fangs. ripped out everything good and holy, made you howl until your throat burned… “
“ you were so pure before they dragged you through the flames… now, you’re all charred remains and shattered bones, choking on ashes and smoke, begging for the fire back. “
“ when i tell you that i love you, i am swearing that i will be here for you when you need me. i am saying that you are my entire world. i am saying that you are more precious to me than you could ever know. “
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thinks about what it could have been like if sav had been found by literally anyone else
how much of her would there be? the glaive lore speaks of her mind still being sharp, of her putting pieces together. she would still be savathun, at her core, but she would not necessarily be our enemy. ikora, in her grief, surely would not have allowed a bargain. would our guardian have done something on their own, then, as we did with crow? made deals and led her to her memories, only now on even ground?
i'm chewing my arm off at the thought.
#❝ MY BROTHER IN THE LIGHT I AM SIMPLY DOING MY BEST ( OOC. )#immaru told her who she was. savathun the hive gd#yeah he did that#but even knowing her name she did not remember anything. only knew that she had to get her memories back.
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she is a new light.
that gets passed over so much, i think.
i was talking to raph about it, but savathun is a new light. immaru rezzed her just above the city, her brood found her, and... she never had a chance. she was brought back to her throne world and given detailed instructions, histories, overviews. she can't be more than a week, two weeks, when witch queen begins (since iirc the game operations on "real time").
ignore the fact she's savathun. think about it from the perspective of a brand new risen.
your fellow risen are out to kill you. your children (holy shit, you have children?) are telling you of this great plan. you have to stare down the g-d killer themself and bluff your way through every conversation as they piece together your memories for you. and all the while, you learn about the witness, the truth of your past. you're a new light.
savathun's revival was unfair to her. on the same level as crow's, if not worse. she didn't get to have someone like herself (disguised as osiris) to come rescue her/lead her. she didn't get to have the g-d killer come vouch for her. she had to continue she-who-was' mission of stopping the witness, even as she's learning what the witness truly is.
and i just,
[peanut butter baby] a.
we don't talk about it enough. she's a fucking new light.
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ca.yde and c.row who??
no, no. os.ris and s.avathun.
the complexities, the connections. neither who they were, fates twisted and torn by the actions of she-who-was, yet forever and inexorably connections. even if o.siris hates it. even if She is not Her. they did not ask for this. they did not want this.
and yet and yet and yet
#❝ MY BROTHER IN THE LIGHT I AM SIMPLY DOING MY BEST ( OOC. )#raph. rAPH I HAVE MISSED RPING WITH YOU FUCK#SLAMS MY HEAD INTO THE WALL#everything about your osiris fucks so severely i#i just AAAA
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