ldybluerse
The Keep
Looking to make friends to babble about fandoms with. Female | 32 | Asexual
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Run to the rescue with love and peace will follow
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Good. Omens.
the more ghibli films i watch the more i’m convinced hayao miyazaki is the only man alive who understands what love is
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I mean there was a time when women wore clothing that took at least a half hour to get into and sometimes it took assistance... and they still got raped.
There are also societies that exist today, where women are naked all the time and they don’t get raped more frequently than women who are dressed.
Its almost like rapist don’t care about the amount of clothing there is or isn’t....
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I’m going into Social Work and had a similar conversation with my therapist.
Therapist; you do know you will be working with Republicans, right?
Me: I knooowwww... I know how to behave. Just because I don’t like their lifestyle doesn’t mean I’m going to treat them like shit.
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...humans are animals. We’re a social animal, a pack creature. Which means we only want to deal with our pack and not random outsiders like capitalism forces us to do.
in addition to the fact that people just have different natural rhythms, a big reason why we can’t seem to go to bed as early as we “should” is that nighttime is, for many of us, our safest and most fulfilling time of day. we don’t have to work, we won’t be contacted by bosses or insurance companies or collection agencies or other suffocating life business… we’re likely only to be contacted by our friends, or by no one at all. night time is release; it’s ours. we can rest or recreate. we can do things we actually want to do. who would choose to cut that short?? just to usher in the next morning when our lives are not our own again? nighttime is precious and nothing could be more normal than the desire to embrace this
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I had two vastly different experiences with teachers I want to point out; one I was doing something I shouldn’t and the other I was doing something that should be cool.
The first teacher was my U.S. History teacher, for the first two or three weeks of class he would wake me up, because I was sitting in the back of the class and sleeping (this is the example of what I shouldn’t be doing) but since I always answered his questions correctly (I read the assigned reading) and turned in my homework assignments, he started leaving me alone to just sleep. Actually about a week after he stopped bugging me, I happened to be wide awake and bushy tailed. He told me to put my hand down, go back to sleep because no one else would answer with me doing all the work. I was an A+ student in that class.
Contrast that with an elective course that was something to do with preparing for the future (balancing check books, sewing, how to do laundry, basically home economics and college prep in one). Here I am, over achiever (I was bored and it wasn’t hard work) I have my work book completed, I have read the course book, besides random assignments I can’t do because we haven’t been given them yet... I’m done with my homework and it’s probably halfway through the semester. We were having time to do our course work in class, but I’m done. So what am I doing? Sleeping? Nope. Talking to other students? Nope. Not being a distraction in the least. I’m reading a mother fucking book. I am silently reading a fictional book.
My teacher tells me I need to put it away and do the work. Told her I was done. She said I can just keep working my through the workbook. Told her I did that too. She said that I needed to sit quietly then. I said I was just reading, not like I was being disruptive. No. I had to put my book away now. Thankfully, I was older and a lot more mouthy at this point because I said no and if she had a problem she can call my mother, I was fine with that. I knew my mom would go apeshit to be called for a disciplinary reason due to me READING a book because I already finished all my course work.
I also knew the school liaison officer (we took martial arts together with another police officer from the same force) and was cool with the vice principle. So, if she wanted to drag me off, I knew she would have to explain why she was punishing a student for reading in her classroom.
Sad thing is, the history teacher was a younger guy and still relatively new to teaching and the economics teacher had awards for “best teacher” from actual competitions
Teachers should let kids eat and drink in class, I have no idea why high school teachers act like tiny dictators of their pathetic kingdoms. Like, let them go to the bathroom, if they are hungry let them eat, if they are thirsty let them drink.
It shouldn’t really be so difficult.
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Emotional Stuff
Feel free to ignore. I will be talking about loss and mention a car accident.
This time of year is hard. So many anniversaries happen in one go for me.
Four years ago on Christmas Day, there was a knock on the door. My brother who lived in Georgia came for a visit. It was the first time in years we spent Christmas together. The eldest brother had moved back from Texas not long before that and my dad was on leave. We were all home. And I wasn’t in a wheelchair from surgery.
We took a picture of the three of us on the couch, it was the first one we had together in a long time. And it would be the last one.
December 26 is the Anniversary of my car accident. Woo, thanks drunk driver. I still have pain to this day from it. It’s been eight years too.
January 15th is my girlfriend’s father’s birthday, she lost him one year before we met... On January 16th. So the 15th is hard for her and this year I think the 16th is going to be hard on me. I’m still in a limbo on what I should do. She’s been making an effort again but I just feel so disconnected. I’m not even happy to see her messages most of the time and even after years I was still excited to talk to her all the time until this past year.
January 24th, four years ago my brother turned 32. His last birthday. He was so excited, he got advanced tickets to see Deadpool on Valentine’s Day. It was probably the Marvel Movie he was most looking forward to.
February 1st he would be declared brain dead. He never got to see Deadpool.
School starts next week. I have orientation later today.
I’ve been in Texas for a year now, I don’t have friends here and it’s been a slow go trying to make friends online.
I have been craving touch and affection but don’t have anywhere to turn, especially as I’m Ace and sex repulsed. This means one-night-stands arent really my thing. Social Anxiety and low self-esteem mean I’m not exactly the type to make random friends and just... lay on them. I tend to be the type that once your my friend I will probably follow you like a puppy until you get sick of me (which most people do).
I don’t have insurance here. I haven’t had a therapist in over a year... I constantly am trying to prove that while I’m not “that disabled” I am “too disabled” for retail work (I cant stand on my feet for two hours much less an eight hour shift), have to do this because I am trying to get Medicare in Texas. Which is a fucking joke.
I keep wondering why I can’t write, because I want to be creative. Why I can’t enjoy things. Why I can’t handle life lately... then I realize I’ve probably run out of spoons and have been stealing plastic ones from restaurants for years. And I probably have more forks in me then I can handle. Probably why 2019 I just... stopped functioning. It was a chore to get out of bed, showers sometimes are more trouble then they are worth to get into but lovely once there. I’m proud I remembered to take my medicine almost daily. There was a period where I couldn’t be bothered to eat this past year too.
It doesn’t help I’ve been under pressure to just be better by people who don’t understand guilt trips and throwing fits don’t make someone better.
The truth is, I was barely making it for a long time already. Twelve surgeries, a history of depression, and life going “here’s a bunch of shit that’s going to cause you deep emotional turmoil”, it’s a wonder I didn’t break sooner I guess...
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I figured they were haunted because a lot of people died under traumatic circumstances after spending a lot of time being tortured.
Pretty sure they aren’t scary because people inside are mentally ill, but scary because we willingly put vulnerable people (it wasn’t just the mentally ill but also the socially “unacceptable”) into a hell hole with both people who loved to be sadistic pricks, apathetic fuckers tired of their job so being cruel through non-action, and people who thought they were “helping” by fucking people up more.
Haunted houses be like this was an asylum and mentally ill people used be here how fucked up is that
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Honestly? This is a problem for all areas of “unattractive” in media. Don’t get me wrong, as a chubby girl and woman, I relate to this. But as an American that was born with too-big-and-too-many teeth with a too-small-mouth-and-jaw it was hard seeing movies where the bad guys (which is a LOT, including in animation) had terrible teeth. Almost all villains have this close up of them smiling evilly at some point and you get this look at their crooked teeth. Sometimes they would be yellow or blackened, maybe missing a few. Sometimes you would see a bug running around their teeth.
I was fixated on teeth for most of my life. I noticed when people had crooked teeth, or gross colored. I know that part was because my own teeth were terrible. I would have nightmares about my teeth falling out (and this was due to my crooked teeth, ever since getting braces four years ago, I haven’t had a nightmare that involves losing teeth). I had no confidence in my smile, I would cover my mouth if I was laughing too much and my teeth may show. For those with different cultural norms with smiles, big open-mouthed smiles in the United States is considered “friendly”, “open”, “good”. If you don’t smile with teeth showing people will often view it as “lack of confidence” or “hiding something”. This makes a tall (I’m 5’9”, but most of my clients as a Massage Therapist were women and most of them were shorter than me), kinda-chubby, and not exactly good looking female seem intimidating.
Because American media also do that; make ugly people the villains or jokes. People who are “okay” looking are sidekicks and background characters.
I do want to point out I am talking about my experiences with United States media and not others. One of things I love most about British television is a lot of their actors look like normal people. Granted, they are good looking average people, but they aren’t Hollywood perfect
Watch: A documentary is explaining the many ways movies, TV shows and ads makes fat people feel cursed and invisible
When you only see yourself depicted on the screen as a sidekick, a villain, a predator, or a joke, how does that affect the way you view yourself in real life?
Gifs: Fattitude
WATCH THE PREVIEW
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The Cottage in South Downs is Bigger on the Inside
Okay, I really like decorating my house in LoveNikki Dressup Queen. I basically turned the first room into an indoor garden after I accumulated a lot of plants. Recently I realized I had the beginning of Crowley’s flat. Which turned into Aziraphale and Crowley’s cottage.
Just to clarify, I only arranged the pixels about to get this room, I did not draw this in any way.
Also... I was limited. LoveNikki doesn’t have enough bookcase options in it to begin with, much less enough variety to make this more interesting. And doesn’t have many books lying on the floor items... so I did what I could.
#Crowley#Aziraphale#Good Omens#Plants#Books#Cottage#Fanfic#Crowley and Aziraphale#ineffable idiots#ineffable husbands#ineffable
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They are too sweet and cute!
Happy New Year from our darling husbands :)
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Three for Three....
#Aziraphale#We know he read those languages before they died#He still reading that stuff#and well... we know about the demon#Az Does What He Wants and Goes Where He Wants
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*bonks loved ones who dare to get too close* *bonks dog on bum* *bonks myself in the head* *lose tube to doggy guardian who is cool with butt swatting but not hitting their person with a CLEARLY DEADLY WEAPON*
Bye Whack-a-Doodle...
*finishes a roll of wrapping paper* oh shit free weapon
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I’m here, I’m Queer! And I fully support queering many things.
A good thread on whether “queer” is a slur and if it should be used or not.
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