laski-and-sage
Panic! At the Pineapple
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Therapist: why aren't you being honest with me?
Anderson:
Anderson: I don't wanna be hospitalised.
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Alucard: Okay, who wants to run me over? I'll give you gas money!
Anderson, dragging Alucard away: Don't harass strangers!
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Integra: Are you okay...?
Alucard: Oh my god no. But for the purpose of this conversation, I'm fine.
#He's a fucking#mood#who can't relate?#pineapple#shitpost#hellsing ultimate#hellsing#alucard#sir integra
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I (Sage) was on C.ai and wrote a bit with a Ghost bot (CoD MW3)... and accidentally made the perfect description of Andercard.
(Bot is 'jail ghost' from Va1_ if somebody is interested. Nice bot so far!)
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Alucard, rummaging through the closet: Fucking hell, I can't find my top!
Anderson: I'm right here.
Alucard:
Alucard: Yes, please!
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Alucard: Bullets may have your name on it... but grenades are adressed to 'whom it may concern'!
Anderson, picking the grenade from Alucards hand: Don't you dare.
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Alucard: Oh shut it! You have no clue!
Anderson, rubbing his temples: If you were any less intelligent, I'd have to water you twice a week. Trust me, I know what to do.
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Integra, sighing: I could give you a penny for your thoughts and I'd still get change.
Pip:
Pip: I would be insulted, if it wasn't actually a good one...
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Alucard: Describe me in one word!
Integra: Cuntsistant.
Alucard: What?
Integra: You're a cunt every day without fail.
Alucard:
Alucard: That is actually really clever, touché.
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Major: How did you find me?!
Enrico: With the combined efforts of tracking your DNA, prints from the crime scene and eyewittness accounts-
Integra: We put 'BITCH' in the GPS and it got us here.
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Alucard: Ugh, I hate it when unkempt boys or men say that women belong in the kitchen. Like... dude... you belong into the washing mashine. And maybe your ego can shrink in the dryer!
Integra: Facts.
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Integra, rubbing her forehead: Alucard is the type of idiot who jumps from one emotion to the other and screams 'parkour'!
Alucard:
Alucard: That was personally, ouch...?
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*Alucard, chuckling in the kitchen*
Seras: Master... what is going on?
Alucard: I'm just getting back at Integra.
Seras: Huh? Why? And how?
Alucard: She banned me from getting new souls. So I put Lipton Ice Tea in a cup, put it in the microwave and warm it up for her, because she asked for tea.
Seras:
Seras: I'm getting your grave ready, Master...
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Pip: Seras... you saved me. I owe you my life!
Seras: Yeah, no thanks. I've seen it. I'm not impressed.
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Integra: Alucard! Not everything can be resolved with guns!
Alucard: ...
Alucard: Good thing I have Baskerville then.
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Anderson: People who sleep with their phone on silent scare me. They really don't care about nobodys life!
Alucard: And? My number is not 911. You'll be fine. Or not.
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Alucard: guys guys guys
Integra: what
Alucard: new game idea: spin the knife! You spin it and whoever the knife lands on, has to kill you!
Seras:
Integra:
Seras: are you okay?
Alucard: hell no
#inspired by some shitpost I've seen but i don't know the origin jfjfjd - Lask#pineapple#shitpost#hellsing ultimate#hellsing#alucard#integra hellsing#seras victoria
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