This meeting could have been a fresh autumn pear

it’s just me and my irrelevant blog against the world

Dear professor this assignment did not nourish my fundamentally curious soul so i did not do it No penalty full 100 points please Goodbye!

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

*minces onion and garlic for you with romantic intentions*

my parents didnt let me listen to jazz while i was a child for fear that it would desensitize me to key changes

the spirit is not willing and the flesh it is not so into the idea either

mark antony voice how does a balding lying son of a pleb and an eques

Yes, it’s in US dollars, with so many currencies I think using only one makes sense to avoid confusion. Include shipping and taxes!

Also, please don’t include anything you’ve been gifted, it’s specifically what you’ve spent your money on (for any sport).

Girls will be like “oh I’m just running quick some errands” and then spend all day in the wetlands appreciating the unique flora and fauna

4:35 Blaze it sorry traffic was crazy

I was expecting anything but not Bard

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

the humble "like" is oft mocked despite what it does for us. "like, three people" is a vastly different statement from "three people". "and i was like 'what the fuck'" is vastly different from "and i said 'what the fuck'". i love you "like" and anyone who says you make people sound stupid will be killed on sight

walks out of a bar covered in kisses and I say "you should see the other guy" and you look in the bar and he's dead in a pool of blood