Adrian

False sense of self, there is only you and no one else. Sometimes I think I've lived a thousand lives. I think about it all sometimes when I'm alone at night. Old soul I've seen everything twice. Oh to forget wouldn't that be nice. The boy you were the man you'll never become. If only you came home instead of giving yourself to everyone. Leaving pieces of you that I can't find. When did something so nice become half a life?

Never underestimate the beauty of my past. Broken and refined, I was built to last.❤️👑💀

Fuck you

Bleeding inside but not from without.

If there is no proof did it even happen?

If you could see what I’ve survived than would it matter?

Judging a person is easy when you’ve made up your mind.

Ignoring a victim should be fucking a crime.

I inhabit a different kind of fate. One you aren't around for. One you cannot take. I have overcome your bullshit and tasted all you've put on my plate. Recipe for disaster you're a fucking mistake. Not made by man but Monsters. Hide behind your seething tongue. You're a fucking disaster, you're not fooling anyone.

Let go

Can’t fall asleep you’re in my head. So easily I invite you in and treat you like a guest.

You favor whatever makes you seem like the rest so blind they are to your erosion it’s as if they ask to be dust.

I lose hope when I remember you on all your memories I choke. The thoughts you shared with me those fantasies were never my own.

It’s been so long now you should be a ghost but haunting me seems what you want the most.

Whispers all around me so loud my own voice again is chocked.

It’s easy to convince fools they are wiser than most.

When does justice feel served when wicked men prevail?

Hope is a four letter word I’m tired of praying for, I think I’ll just let it go, along with you.

I think I'll be no more.

First impressions

I lose myself when I’m with you there is no one else.

When I am near you I question my health.

Can’t breathe around you, I don’t feel myself.

Who am I among all the rest?

When you say hi I hold my breath.

Gulping for air I choke on my hello, wishing that goodbye was never so close.

Happy birthday brother, I'm older than you now every year.

Fear

You've come to tell me something I don't want to hear. I beg you no, as if I have any other choice but fear. There is something about never knowing when someone is going to leave and suddenly it's the end. Something like losing and losing again. Death is a diary of pages I can't contain. Can't control my emotions, can't shut off my brain. Great big hole of a heart, with every beat I fall apart. Tired and heavy my soul has given up hope. I am a body but there is no host. I am alive but I am a ghost. I miss you more than I can explain. Thinking of you again and again. How long will it take? How long can I wait? When will it be my turn to let this soul escape?

From Paris With Love.

Surreal Mixed Media Collage Art By Ayham Jabr.

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Inside the Old-Fashioned World of New York’s Vintage Girls

Yes, they dress like this every day. And no, they’re not in costume.

Ghost

Remembering you leaves my heart heavy and my soul bruised. Walking through your void I'm swallowed by your bitter self illusions. If they gave you the world you wouldn't even choose it. Cutting deep, I pretend to be asleep. No one could ever know what secrets are hiding beneath. Maybe if you'd just walk away instead of leave. I hate you the most but you're just a ghost.

I let you think you were using me.

Turns out I used you too.

All I needed was a little freedom.

I broke free and slayed all your demons.

Mass manipulator, I've fallen out of your favor.

I've become my own savior. 

Everything you do is twisted and cruel.  

You're a bad bad man...aren't you?

Mr. Blue

Crying in your sleep, oh you weep, you weep.

I wake you up and bring you back to this reality.

Eyes glazed over, you see right through me.

Mr. Blue, you’re a sad sorry soul.

Nothing in your world is under your control.

You gave up searching for what you need.  Instead you fix your thoughts on how to be redeemed.  

What’s the recipe for complete?  I’ll mix up all the ingredients and feed you every piece.

Linger a while

If I linger come follow.

I've acquired a taste for you that leaves this soul hollow.

Just one bite and it's never enough.

I pace myself but it's real tough.

Fill me up and pour me down your throat.

I'll glide along your heartstrings unwinding them as I float.

Try me on and see if I'm your size, I'll never leave you lonely.

I'll keep you warm at night.

If you want to love me, just do it.

Standing in front of my fire, just fucking walk through it.

Don't judge me for my sins, you've never seen where I've been.

Where are the ones with the answers, they are nothing more than just shadow dancers.

Figments of imaginations run wild, try to build a conscience, try to smile.

I could not wait any longer, I was searching for peace and I had to look farther.

I'm drowning, you are the waves and I am the ocean. 

Rajaz-Bedouin Life.

Surreal Mixed Media Collage Art By Ayham Jabr.

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If we never go back to the places that haunt us, how will we know they don’t haunt us anymore?