ladysparklefarts
TALLY HO SPARKLEFARTS
here there be glitter and chaos
CONFUSION
it's what's for dinner
28y/o
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Crosshair is so glad to be back…
I saw this pose and immediately thought of Cross & Wrecker lol
Ref below the cut!
credit to artist! found on pinterest.
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Hunter was gonna use his scarf again, but Omega gave it to Batcher.
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I'm like if a chivalrous knight kissed a fair maiden's hand and said "my lady, I fight for you" and then walked off and immediately tripped over his own armor and fell on the ground
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So you know this probably happened
Emerie: Omega is not the only child on this base.
Echo: So, Hunter, we have a problem.
Hunter: What?
Echo: Apparently there are like…4 other kids here besides Omega.
Hunter: ……
Echo: Hunter? Hunter did you hear me?
Crosshair: Yeah he heard you, he’s currently printing out four adoption forms.
Hunter: -in the background- Rex doesn’t get first dibs on these ones!! Where’s my stamp!?
Crosshair: He’s still salty that Rex won’t let him adopt you. Even though you’re a grown man.
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Hi sweety! What do you think about a short prompt of Fem!Reader and Crosshair arguing, leading to a fiery kiss (pre relationship)? Maybe she's got enough of his snark and snaps, but he just grabs and kisses her, wordlessly revealing he's just mocking her because he has a crush on the reader...? Pretty please? I can't get this fantasy out of my head. I need you to write it down, so I can go on with my life! 😅
Aloha!
Oh, I think I like this one 😂
Crosshair x Fem!Reader One-shot - Chicken Legs
Warnings: Strong Language/Swearing/Arguing/Fluff/Slightly Suggestive
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Working with the Bad Batch is actually fun, most of the time. You get along well with the guys. With all but one. Crosshair.
The Sniper seems to have made it his business to annoy and criticize you. He often gets on your nerves, constantly corrects you, checks things you've done three times and always finds something to complain about. You are all the more annoyed that Hunter has sent you off with Crosshair, of all people, to run some errands.
The sergeant says, "You two need to learn to get along. I know how stubborn my brother can be, so you have to be the smarter one. Don't let him get to you. When he realizes that you are no longer interested in his talk, then you won't give him any room to attack.
You drive the speeder, Crosshair sits behind you. You had a long discussion about who should drive before you left.
"I'm the man, how does it look when I sit behind you?" he grumbles.
You glare at him.
"Seriously, that's your argument? If anyone ever doubts that we humans were once cavemen, I present you as living proof that some of us have not evolved from that time."
Your little argument goes back and forth, but in the end, you're in the driver's seat. Of course, he can't keep his mouth shut. As soon as you arrive in town and get off the speeder, he grumbles, "You're living proof that women shouldn't drive."
Frowning, annoyed, you look at him.
"Here we go again... What's so bad about the way I drive?"
Crosshair snorts and rolls his eyes.
"We don't have that much time. Maybe I should tell you what's right with it, because that list is a lot shorter."
You clench your hands into fists, trying to stop yourself with sheer willpower from grabbing his collar and shaking him, "Has anyone ever told you that your toxic masculinity is really annoying?"
He smirks.
"Yeah, you, several times."
You roll your eyes, pull out your data-pad and take a look at the list Hunter gave you. Trying to ignore Crosshair. But he won't be ignored. Cheekily, he takes the pad from your hand.
"Hey!"
"Let me do it, if you have the list, we'll forget about half the things", he insists.
By now, you're seething with anger. He's been teasing you and making stupid jokes since he got up this morning.
"What the hell is your problem? You're not that obnoxious to others, are you?!"
Serenely with a smile, he says, "Maybe you are the problem"
"Fuck. You." you press out, "Listen up, Chicken Legs, if you don't stop pissing me off, you might wake up one morning with your rifle shoved deep up your bony little ass."
He raises his brows in amusement and looks at you.
"Well, if that turns you on, I personally find it strange, but to each their own."
You raise your finger in anger, already working up another line, when he closes his hand around your finger, and you fall silent abruptly, taken aback.
"What-"
His other hand grabs your chin and holds it tight.
"Shut up for a moment," he says softly.
You stare at him as his face gets closer and closer. Your eyes automatically close as his lips touch yours, warmer and softer than you expected. As the tip of his tongue glides gently over your lower lip, you automatically open your mouth, letting him in.
Your tongues collide in a velvety collision. Fireworks go off through your body. Your pulse begins to race, your heart beats faster, your stomach begins to tingle and warmth spreads between your thighs.
For a moment your mind is completely turned off, you don't think, you just feel. But as his lips slowly separate from yours and both your and his eyes open again, you kick him in the shins.
Thanks to his armor, however, he barely feels it.
"First you return the kiss, then you kick me?", he asks, cocking a brow at you.
You say softly, "I can't stand you, you can't just kiss me".
He finally lets go of your finger, and you suddenly miss the physical contact with him. You stand there and look up at him somewhat helplessly.
"Why are you always teasing me?" you ask, confused.
He smirks, "It's given me your attention, hasn't it?"
You sigh and say, "There's another way to do it."
He nods slowly, with an irresistible smile on his lips, strokes your cheek with his knuckles and says, "Okay. I'm open to suggestions. How can I capture your attention?"
You swallow, look at him almost shyly, and say, "Just keep looking at me the way you are right now, and you'll have my attention."
Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)
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We all like us some good Coruscant Guard whump where they’re abused by the Senate and the ppl and their brothers fighting on the front, but can I get epic blackmailer Fox? The guards are treated like furniture by a lot of the senate; imagine all the secrets and scandals they might here!
Really, let Fox blackmail the Senate into giving him and his brothers (even the jackass ones) rights as sentients. And then let him nap
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Average night on the Marauder
Hunter *tucking Omega in*: Goodnight, sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.
Tech: Technically, there would be no bed bugs. We just cleaned. Why do you think there are bed bugs?
Crosshair: Goodnight. Sleep tight, don’t let the monsters haunt you.
Wrecker: Monsters?
Omega: What monsters?
Echo *sighs*: There are no bed bugs, there are no monsters. Just go to bed.
Wrecker: But what monsters?
Hunter: No monsters.
Omega: Just bed bugs.
Tech: Again, there should be no bed bugs. Have you seen signs of them?
Echo: All of you go to sleep
*Quiet for a minute*
Wrecker: But why does Batcher always sleep with Crosshair? No fair, I wanna turn
Omega: She sometimes sleeps by me
Wrecker: No fair
Crosshair: She just likes me best
Tech: Technically, it may be because of Crosshair’s unresolved trauma. Dogs tend to know when humans are not alright. Although that may not be a good enough reason because many of us have unresolved issues.
Hunter: Yes, thank you for calling us out Tech, now go to sleep
*Quiet for another minute*
Omega: I need some water
Wrecker: I have to use the refresher
Tech: It is too hot in here to sleep. What temperature is the ship set at? This is not the optimal sleeping environment
Hunter: Do not touch the thermostat!
Echo: WOULD YOU GO TO SLEEP ALREADY?
Crosshair: Okay, mom.
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Listen, I’ve been doing this fandom thing for a while (I’m old) and I just wanted to reassure you guys that you don’t have to “leave the fandom” when The Bad Batch ends, and that it certainly isn’t going to evaporate! While some people will move on, many others will continue to participate. Fandoms of this size tend to stick around long after the source material is done, and doubly so with big franchises like Star Wars where the characters are very likely to reappear in other places. Just look at the Clone Wars fandom and how active it still is, for example.
I don’t plan on going anywhere after the finale. This story and these characters are very important to me, and I’m not done playing with them. 💖
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Just a goofy doodle comic after that last episode
part 2 later?
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I pretend I do not see.
The fuck is it now.
Bitch.
The fuck—
Angy.
Certified shithead™
“First of all, fuck the captain—”
Murder on the brain.
Eat shit and die.
~
Man of few words, but many expressions. XD
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my favourite thing to do at any given time is reading chuck norris jokes, but inserting obiwan kenobi every time
Obi-Wan Kenobi plays russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and still wins
Obi-wan Kenobi doesn't turn the light on. He turns the dark off
In the Beginning there was nothing ... then Obi-wan Kenobi roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job
If you ask Obi-wan Kenobi what time it is, he always says, 'Two seconds till.' After you ask, 'Two seconds to what?' he roundhouse kicks you in the face
Obi-wan Kenobi does not own a stove, oven or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold
Obi-wan Kenobi does not sleep. He waits
There is no chin behind Obi-wan Kenobi's beard. There is only another fist
Obi-wan Kenobi does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Once a cobra bit Obi-wan Kenobi's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died
Death once had a near-Obi-wan Kenobi experience
The only time Obi-wan Kenobi was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake
and my personal favourite
Obi-wan Kenobi destroyed the periodic table, because Obi-wan Kenobi only recognizes the element of surprise
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Crosshair: I may not have a lot to my name right now, but I do have one thing—
Omega: Friendship?
Echo: The audacity?
Crosshair: Chocolate frogs.
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