I really just feel like the Enterprise writers were incapable of writing a female Vulcan. The thing I noticed immediately was that T’Pol does not act as strong as Vulcans are supposed to be, like physically. There are multiple scenes where if it had been Spock in the situation he would have gotten out of it, and that’s super annoying to watch. It’s a canon fact that Vulcans are considerably stronger than humans, but you wouldn’t know that from watching this show.
Another thing I noticed a little bit into the show is that they constantly break her down emotionally. And yeah there a few instances of that happening to Spock but it was to a lesser extent. It’s like they didn’t know how to allow T’Pol to just be a Vulcan because she’s also a woman and they see women as overly emotional, and really don’t know how to write them as anything else. That’s why they’re constantly putting her in situations where some external force causes her to lose control of her emotions. It’s not that I don’t think female characters should be emotional, but with T’Pol it’s always in a way that’s humiliating to her as a Vulcan.
Also the over sexualization thing. Vulcans just aren’t really sexual as a species, and it kinda seems like they felt the need to over sexualize T’Pol to like overcompensate for that or something??? But they never did that to Spock. It’s like they thought they couldn’t have a female character without sexualizing her in some way.