Das gon be a chicken 😊 🐓 I wish I had more exciting work to post! But until the semester ends I’m pretty much dead focused on my still lifes for class. I think that because I’m mostly self taught I have a LOT of bad habits and I take way WAY too long on some things and so I’m really behind.... I need 5 paintings by next week and I have 3 finished.... 🐔 The good news though is that I painted this in about twenty minutes!! So I’m getting better! And I’m listening to critique lol, whoda thunk it, actually following your teacher’s advice will make your art better 🙄 Artists! What’s the most valuable thing you learned in an art class? #stilllifepainting #paintersofinstagram #artistofinstagram#artistsofnewyork #chicken #studiopainting #oilpaintings (at Center for the Arts at CSI) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrF_wLNgVZX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cvjvcc2cnp5w

On the second day of art plugs I give to you another friend and (ex) coworker (I’ll never forgive you for leaving me 😫) @jlauser.art ! . Jess’s work is FUCKINGGG AMAZING and she’s been doing the artist life full time now so go support a #nycartist and buy or commission some work! 🔮 #nycshopsmall#nycpainter#nycillustrator#christmasgiftideas#giveart#makeart#supportyourlocalartist#supportlivingartists#giftideas#happyholidays2018#astrologyart https://www.instagram.com/p/BrA1sxFAkgc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1m2swe6umq4im

Hi all! Happy start of Chanukah and happy holidays to everyone! Because the days of last minute gift scramble are approaching and I am incredibly bogged down with my other obligations right now I thought I’d use my page to promote some of my fellow artists who are selling work for the holidays! 🎄 My very talented friend and coworker Michelle is taking commissions for pet paintings! Get in touch with her if you’re interested and check out her personal artwork which is absolutely incredible! @kimchellablue23 @shellseas23 #petportraits#cutegiftideas#holidayart#petpaintings#supportyourlocalartist#supportlivingartists#nycartists#nycpainter#merrychristmas#happychanukah#giveart#makeart#happyholidays#christmasgiftsideas https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq-C8EdA3Bu/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=5kdi0967fdbb

I’ve been commuting since 10 (it’s 2:30am rn) but I took this around 6 today during my second to last painting class. I’m gunna be sad once this semester is over, as frustrating as it can be sometimes I do miss taking art classes. I didn’t get a lot as far as formal education in the arts so it’s always so helpful to get any bit of instruction from someone who knows what they’re doing.... I’m not gunna be too sad tho bc these are paintings 3 and 4 (which aren’t done) and I have to submit 5.... My number one area that needs improvement is the speed at which I work.... (at Center for the Arts at CSI) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqy9F5DgJ-O/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=rarhbvzdy831

I finished my seashell painting a few weeks ago and completely forgot to post it! Here’s the whole progress, took in total about 10-12 hours, oil on canvas. 🐚 My professor had a lot of criticism though so next one is going to be very different. I’m happy to finally have some form of mentoring when it comes to painting (fun fact- I have had very little instruction in painting, and none of it was involved) but my biggest peeve with college is being told what doesn’t work but it given advice on what to do to make it work.... 🙄 I’m just glad this professor doesn’t attempt to directly touch my work (my drawing professor does! AND he does it in his painting classes too! I’d flip!!!) 🐚 I like to think I can take critique well though, some artists definitely cant. 🐚 How do my fellow artists feel about art classes and critique ? Let me know in the comments! (at College of Staten Island) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqciY86AR1R/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=a6e3amm63fvn

Instagram reeeeeally needs a queue function. That’s the only thing I miss about tumblr. I’m still trying to do this self-branding self-marketing life, I promise! But it’s hard when you’ve got so much going on, and don’t have time to work on content. For all my instagrammers on that grind, how do you guys do it?? Well, next month is likely to be as busy as this one, and then it’s Christmas!! How? I don’t know where the time goes. But I’m almost done with school and once January rolls around it’s going to be time for some real work to begin! I’ll finally have my bachelors degree, be totally done with school, and have the time to really start working on my professional life. I’m excited! If you’re interested in seeing where all my energy has been going lately go check out my ‘personal’ account, @_wolf.f where I post things that are not paintings/drawings, and don’t fit the aesthetic of this page at all lol #artistsofnewyork #paintersofinstagram #stilllifepainting #nauticaldecor #artistofinstagram #hustleandgrind #professionalartist #godimsotired (at Center for the Arts at CSI) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpVC1Q0lAcB/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=toaf735ehri4

Happy #inktober ! I used #mabsdrawlloweenclub prompt ‘lagoon’ for this one. I always forget how much I like using ink, it’s like you’re painting and drawing at the same time. I definitely will not be doing a daily drawing but hopefully I’ll get a couple done this year! Now that life is calming down I hope to be more active on here again. Who else is doing inktober? #inktober2018 #mermaid#macabreart#lagoon#siren#maneater#inkdrawing#artistsofnewyork #artistofinstagram #halloween#creepy https://www.instagram.com/p/BoxHOe_FB_k/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=bk3mtyfhfere

This one is very hard to photograph, which is probably why I never have before. 36x24”, acrylic. The Demon. This painting is one of my favorites and also one of the biggest reminders of my lack of consistent style. It’s so different from my other work, but it’s a lot like my early art. This is actually the last painting I did for myself, I haven’t been working on my own art. Unfortunately it’s just been too busy. How do you guys feel about an artists style? Do you think a successful artist should have a cohesive vibe to their work, or is it ok to bounce around? https://www.instagram.com/p/BoubD1_lHjq/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11sn3tgszgyfn

Twyla Tharp- The Creative Habit. Some good advice. #createeveryday https://www.instagram.com/p/BoE45NAFwPT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=dg5tthpjrlma

Hello everyone! 🕸 Sorry I haven’t been posting too much lately. My life has been hectic as hell the last few weeks. Between classes, my regular painting job, and my work at a haunted house I have not had any free time at all (I have had a lot of time where I procrastinated and didn’t do what I should have done but that’s not the same as free time 😅). 🕸 Hopefully next month things will settle down and I’ll have more time to work on my own stuff but until then, here’s a painting I’m working on for my intermediate oil class! My professor keeps yelling at me for taking too long and ‘working too hard’ but I think the extra effort is worth it 😊 this baby should be done soon. 🕸 For all my busy bees out there- how do you manage your time?! I’m sooo burnt out I feel like all I do right now is work, drive, and sleep. Where do you find the time to work on your own pursuits? (at College of Staten Island) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoCN2R9FaDm/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1tdj68lrgjtfj

Hi friends! Sorry I’ve been mia lately, school and work have been keeping me busy and I have not been making much of my own art lately. Buuuut you should all go follow this babe!! I had the pleasure of working with Jess as painting instructors (and I miss her everyyyy dayyyy), her work is PHENOMENAL and she out here grinding on that IG fame game so give her some love!! https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnl7ixjlPpX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1uyvrpt58y35r

Had my first drawing class today. Most of the class only did the first drawing and when the professor gave them the option to ‘call it a day’ an hour and a half early, they did. Just one other girl and I stayed to do the other ones. The first one I really tried getting exact but the other two were quick and expressive over accurate. I think taking time off from school was the best thing I could have done for myself. Being on a campus as a near 25 year old makes me really wish I’d waited to go to college like I’d wanted to. I have a completely different outlook on everything. Forcing 18 year olds to make one of the biggest decisions of their lives is just.... dumb.

Excited to announce I will be participating in this gallery next weekend at @hub17nyc ! I’ll likely be showing only pieces from my previous gallery, but if you missed it definitely come check it what I have left!

Have not really been up to painting anything substantial lately so here’s some digital progress on this big boobie mermaid I started two years ago

Hey friends! Go check out my depop and help support an artist with a really bad habit of hoarding stuff forever but never actually using it!! Right now I only have clothes up but I will be posting art as well so definitely give it a follow if you have an account!! . . . . . #depop #fashion#ootd#bebe#clothingsale

Trees trees always trees 🌲🌳

Posting on here for real for the first time in a loooooong time, I just feel like I need to scream into the void somewhere where the void might scream back, if you feel me.

I think this is the worst my depression has ever been, and on the surface it doesn’t actually look that bad. Because I’m trying really fucking hard and that’s WHY it’s so bad. I’m doing everything I can to prevent myself from crashing because with the way I feel, and have felt the last few times I hit a low point, I’m afraid that I won’t make it out this time. I cannot handle feeling like this anymore, but nothing works, nothing I do changes anything for more than a day or two. I don’t know if the fact that I haven’t been scheduled in a while is helping or hurting, because in the past work has snapped me out of it, but the last few times I did work I was losing my shit, so I’m not sure how I’m going to manage when I actually have a shift. It is REALLY hard to stand on a stage and instruct a class when you feel like this, make it a hard class and it’s impossible. I lucked out that my last shift was a really awesome, small group, because if they’d been difficult or needy it might have been bad. 

and the fact that I have like, 4 friends doesn’t help. I’ve spent the last year focusing a lot on someone who yeah, is there for me, but idk for how long. idk how secure that relationship is. right now its almost nonexistent but there are a lot of valid reasons for that, its just making everything a lot harder. the universe is really throwing it all at me. idk if having people there even would help, not that my friends aren’t keeping in touch, but like, what can they even do? nothing. no one but me can do anything about this. 

another thing that is really making this hard is that my emotions are completely different than theyve ever been during an episode, other than the whole ‘im going to post a lot on the internet in the hopes that people will talk to me because this is the most social interaction i can manage but if i dont interact at all im going to really lose it’. usually I’m numb, nothing matters, i sit around and watch a lot of tv and feel disconnected from reality, and intentionally isolated. 

this is different. I’m crying, a lot. i’m constantly overwhelmed by everything big and small, but im capable of being semi productive which isnt usually the case. im flipping a lot, from totally fine and happy and able to laugh and feeling like nothing is wrong, to complete devastation with no triggers at all. writing this ive almost started crying a handful of times.

i dont fucking know. i dont know what to do. I went to my GP and got bloodwork done and am getting my thyroid looked at because i am really really hoping I have a health condition that’s causing this, because if thats the case then maybe i can actually treat it, but i might just be grasping at straws. if theres nothing wrong with me idk how im gunna react. im almost starting to consider looking into inpatient centers. 

i fucking hate everything