there's a kind of person called a "bad person" and if we just kill all of those guys everything will be great

Dungeon Meshi - Laios & Falin

INTRODUCING THE FAIZ PROJECT

Hello! Hi! Uh... So, a while back, at the start of this account I mentioned how I was working on a Kamen Rider Saber fanfiction project. Well, thanks to a mixture of school pressure and just the sheer scale I have planned for that project, I have put it a bit on the backburner. But don't worry, as I have recently been conceptualizing another project which is starting... right now!

This is "My Soul Burns Blue: A Kamen Rider 555 Adaptation." This work, in adapting Kamen Rider 555, is intending to use the original work's iconography and base concepts to tell a personal story, one that, I hope, will go into an introspective detail into my experience into realizing and being Trans, I guess. But it is also about Kamen Riders, Orphnochs, and funny flip phones! Though you don't need to know Kamen Rider to get into it, I hope!

I initially intended this to be a much shorter work, which I could release all at once, but I realized it was going a bit larger than anticipated, so instead, I'm releasing it episodically. The link above will take you to the first part of the story.

As another note, this work would, I guess, be my contribution to the whole "Animal HRT" trend, though it has my own annoying fandom-y spin. As such, I have to thank the progenitor of the current wave, @ayviedoesthings for indirectly inspiring this work. You should check out her's and all the other ones that have been made since.

Long story short, while the horse isn't in this one, I'm sure they'll appear at some point

neigh.

CONTENT WARNING: STALKING

A lot of brewskis have noticed my slow down these last few months and this is the major reason for it. Yes, a person at my work has been following me at the beginnings of my shifts and has not gotten any repercussion. I don't feel safe anymore. My partner and I are moving, but even still we don't feel comfortable with me working at that place, however it's difficult as I don't have a college degree and this place pays more than most jobs around here.

We have some plans in place, but I'm financially struggling. I hate to do this, but I created a ko-fi to help with relocation and to help stifle some of the burden of quitting this job. All the money would go towards things like rent, groceries, and car payments. I do have a Patreon, but it isn't bringing in enough to help with this issue and I'm debating about deleting it due to me not being able to keep up with things over there.

Anything helps, but don't donate if you can't---reading this and sharing it will be a massive help still <3

I find it really intriguing that the two main anniversary riders, Decade and Zi-O, are both depicted as characters who are attempting to avoid becoming evil forces. Decade is depicted as the "Destroyer of Worlds," and is the former, and possibly future, leader of Neo Shocker. Zi-O is literally the future Demon King, and the goal is to not become Ohma specifically.

Pay attention in class, kids.

yuri in the dashcon ball pit

KAMEN RIDER DEMONS FUCKS

But he also reveals the problems with some of Revice's design decisions

Okay, so, cards on the table, Kamen Rider Revice has some of my favorite Kamen Rider designs. When they work, they are these slick, cool, iconic designs. It is a season that does legend rider designs the best, integrating the designs without being too overbearing (or just being the other riders). Jeanne is probably the best rider girl design, it's all so rad.

Kamen Rider Revice also has some of the worst Kamen Rider designs ever. Whether it be Live's highlighter yellow, or Over Demon's bullshit, some of these suits really suck. To be fair, I think the series is more hits than misses, but still.

That brings me to this thread's topic. Kamen Rider Demons. This is an ancillary rider introduced fairly early on into the series, and is a rider system that jumps around a lot, being basically Fenix's main rider system. However, the initial suit is primarily used by our boy Hiromi. And, to be honest, this design is rad as hell.

The undersuit initially has this muscly texture, looking like tendons strewn about. This muscly texture is also on the belt, tying it into that design as well. From there, the red muscles are strategically covered by a mixture of blue and bluish silver armor. It plays on the classic Spider-Man color combo to great effect. It all works so well. However, the main Vistamp gives the spider web armor on the torso and head, which is intelligently set up in the neutral black, with the other colors being the same silver and red on the rest of the body. This webbing also has an asymmetry, giving an extra visual appeal to the suit, but has a simple, nearly smooth texture, helping to not leave the suit over detailed. Plus, the whole suit has a sharp, intimidating, militaristic feel, especially exemplified by the permanently angry front eyes, flanked by some extra spider eyes on the side, glowing in a clear blue through the webbing. It's so cool! You think it would be too busy, but it somehow all meshes so well together. I would love to see him in Spider-Verse.

From there, a bit of history is given to the suit design with... KAMEN RIDER VAIL

This suit is militaristic, but in a different way. Covered in metallic armor, he wears a baggy undersuit. This both gives the suit a more aged feel (It's meant to be an older precursor to the modern rider systems) and gives the armor the freedom to be more complex. It integrates a darker silver than the main Demons and copper for the Kabuto parts. I do really enjoy this suit. However, it's important to note, because both of these suits are a part of the history of my least favorite suit in the (main) show.

OVER DEMONS

Over Demons basically just slaps the two suits together to poor effect. The undersuit is unchanged from Demons, and the torso armor is nearly unchanged from Vail, and they do not mix. The Vail armor adds 2 new colors, a new silver and bronze, all of which fight for your attention. Plus, the detail goes overboard, the torso armor adding just a bit too much texture that was gone in the main demons suit. What doesn't help is that the helmet, newly designed for the suit, adds 2 NEW COLORS, a light blue and a bluish white. It is too much.

And this is the problem with many of Revice's slapped together suits (even some of the main suits if you dislike Thunder Gale). It slaps two aesthetics together that do not mesh at all. Another great example of this is Evil/Live. The undersuit is really detailed and has a lot of colors, but the smooth black torso armor balances it all out. Then live adds a shiny white and highlighter yellow for some reason.

They use reuse to either over detail the designs, have too many colors or both. That's not to say reuse is bad, it isn't. And I get it, Revice was strapped for budget. However it can be done well. Evility Live uses the Evil undersuit and mixes it with the Holy Live armor to great effect. Destream uses the century suit, which is in a neutral white with some red details, and gives it a cool blue touch.

It can be done, but Revice sometimes just doesn't. However, that doesn't mean that Kamen Rider Demon's suit was cool enough for me to spend too much money on an action figure of it.

I call myself a comic artist but I actually just post 1 comic every 3 months

Content Warning: religion and transphobia⚠️

Happy Trans Day of Visibility 🏳️‍⚧️ I made a comic reflecting on my church upbringing as an eXvangelical trans person. The Jesus conservative Christians claim to represent looked lot more like many of the LGBTQ+ friends I know and love. Just some food for thought 💖

Finding my Visibility: A Ramble-y Writing

I hope you don’t mind this post here, it’s a bit personal, but I’ve needed to crystallize some thoughts, especially given what today is. I hope you don’t mind.

I created this little blog to act as a way to express myself properly. My realization of, well, being trans in some way, has only come very recently, within the past few months, really. It has been a long, awkward process. About 3 years worth of on and off questioning has led me to this conclusion, with some especially interesting breakthroughs getting me here. However, I am not really in a position where I can easily just come out to those around me. Making little bits online like this, even if I’m not especially social about it, has been especially affirming for me.

You know, it’s funny. Like many others I’ve seen, I did do little affirming things before “figuring it out.” Back when I first got to High School, I decided to start growing out my hair. In part, it was a pre existing bit of rebellion, what little I could do. I was taken to Catholic schooling all my life, and in my combined elementary and middle school, part of the dress code was hair length. Girls had to have long hair and boys had to have short hair, excluding certain cultural things that would probably get them sued. This did lead to a funny childhood slip where I determined gender primarily on hair length, leading to me being really confused by girls with short hair. However, my High School, while still being Catholic, let up on long hair. Therefore, on a whim, I decided to grow my hair out, spurred on further by seeing one senior with extremely long hair. I rationalized it by saying I didn’t like haircuts, mainly the prickly feeling I would have for the rest of the day around my collar. Now I see that it was more so that I found more negatives than positives in going to get my hair cut short at SportsClips. 

I say this because, towards the start of my questioning, there was this one interaction that has really stuck with me. I was in this honors physics class I took in my senior year of high school. It was a small class, there were only, like, 10 of us, made up mostly of my friends and their friends. Also, this one short soccer playing guy, but he doesn’t really matter. One of these people was this one trans girl. She was really the first trans person I ever encountered, and one of the first times I had ever encountered the concept of transness, outside of shitty conservative joke (singular) that I had inherently encountered growing up in a very conservative setting. Initially, she intimidated me, a lot. I didn’t know how to interact with her. For someone who made their entire personality “BEING GOOD AT ACADEMICS,” as I eschewed the entire concept of emotional fulfillment in any way, it didn’t compute. After Covid, I became more chill, but still felt that intimidation (all of which came internally, by the way, she was very nice). In this physics class, we had even begun interacting a little. This brings us to one random interaction in the end of one class. Us, as a class, are messing around, having a fun conversation. Then, for some reason, she says something like, “I grew out my hair because of my gender, you just kind of did it.” It was in a joking context, and I know the conversation led naturally there, but I don’t remember much of it, because my mind was preoccupied by the emotional panic of having my recently started questioning being clocked. It was a brief, yet intense panic, as I was still heavily denying myself, even still. After a bit, I eventually responded with my usual response when something came about for my appearance, “Oh yeah, It’s just because I’m lazy. I don’t really care how I look.” Usually, that was a good response, as it was often true.

Not with my hair length, though.

Cut to now, where I continue to let my hair be long, despite the hardships, a good 6 years on from my decision to let it grow out. I have a hard time of imagining my existence with short hair. I’m not  100% content with it, I wish I knew how to care for it better, something I am trying to learn better. However, I still do it because it, overall, gives me a sense of pure, positive emotion that I had lost for a long time. That’s been a lot of what has led me down figuring out my gender. I have tried to follow what has given me that emotional fulfillment, that sense of true feeling that I lost in youth. I mean, it’s not something that being in a religious family necessary perpetuates. I’ve found Catholicism, at least how it has been expressed around me, celebrates fear and repression. It especially doesn’t go well in a family with specific, traumatic losses, which become rationalized as “God’s Plan for Us.” Seeing that, seeing my grief and sadness as “God’s Plan,” I think, ultimately led me to repress all positive emotion, only allowing for sadness, panic, or the pure apathy I felt with masculinity. 

However, finding my gender, or at least, the parts of it I have found, has given me an indescribable sense of emotion that I can only rationalize as “Joy,” I guess. I think it goes deeper than that, but I don’t think any language would have the proper words for what I feel. Yes, there has been sadness for what I’ve lost and fear for what hurdles may come my way, but the Joy is also there, a joy that I only associated with guilt before, thanks to all of that Catholic guilt. I found that joy thanks to other trans people being visible. 

I think that is why today is so important. Being able to see other trans people be happy, be who they are, regardless, is what led me to detangle my guilt from who I truly was. I think it can do this for so many others, too. I have found that, even while having to be closeted in life, even the little bits where I can both see people like me and express myself gives me so much joy, that I can keep going on in my day, my week, my year, and I thank all those who were there, unintentionally, to help me figure out who I am. I am posting this in part to act as that expression, to find that joy through that apathy and pain, and also, hopefully, to help people like me. 

So, as I sit here, typing this out in my funnily trans colored JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Golden Wind T Shirt, that yes, I’m trans. I may have some shakiness in the exact specifics, but I know that I identify as more femme than I do as my assigned masculinity. I am Allison Marie, you can call me KiraRider, though. I hope you all can find yourself as I’ve found myself.

Now, I need to go back to getting deeply into Pirate media for some reason.

Moral dilemma

Thinkin bout that time Ranma emotionally ruined me

Well here it is! The promised comic about being a plus sized trans girl and how that has effected me and how I’m going to try my best to be visible for all the plus sized baby trans people out there who need representation like I did and do! 💜💜🏳️‍⚧️💜💜

The spirit of Diogenes is alive and well