i haven't really sewn much since I bought my condo and moved back in April, but my newest nibling is due to be born in February some time, so i got a bit of motivation to get back to the machine 😁
this is a 2ft square quilt top in progress because I'm so pleased with how it's coming along. the fabric is the Hello Jane line designed by Alison of swimbikequilt.com for Windham, plus a fat quarter of a bicycle print from the clearance at Walmart. (the colors are nearly an exact match, it's fantastic!)
this is my first attempt to piece a quilt with curves, though the technique of sewing curves isn't completely new. i created my own templates using a poor man's compass (aka string on a stick) and also developed the design myself, though it's not exactly groundbreaking.
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Two things have surprised me by how much they have helped keep my anxiety at a low level, and thus manageable. It's when it's running at a high level for a long time that I stop noticing it because I'm too busy being anxious, right?.
Anyway: thing 1: riding my bike. It's "relaxing" because it gets me away from anxiety-stimulating things but it is also exercise (gets my heart rate up for GOOD reasons) and requires me to focus on my coordination and physical presence. There is no mental drift here, because as soon as I start noodling on an anxiety thing, I have to pay attention to cars or other bikes, or adjust my gears, or whatever. I'm on the autistic spectrum and a lot of my anxiety has a sensory stimulation base that the thoughts jump on, like a trampoline, and when I've got sensory overload, that trampoline is way better and those thoughts jump higher and harder and faster. Biking solves the sensory thing and gets my brain in a place where I'm constantly distracted in new ways from whatever is making me anxious. I would have NEVER believed anyone about exercise helping, and this is the ONLY form of exercise that helps. Stationary biking? walking? nope! gotta be my bike on the trail.
Thing 2: sewing. Knitting was good for keeping me occupied but sewing is AMAZING. i have to pay so much more attention to what i'm doing, but it's also a repetitive task. So I have the coloring book zen thing going on, but without actually being able to zone out and let my mind wander. I usually have a movie or music going, too, which further pulls my attention away from any unproductive non-sewing-related thoughts. And then I finish up with a really cool quilt or garment to be proud of! :)
My anxiety always comes back but if i'm biking or quilting, I have at least a two hour stretch when I feel normal. And doing them on a regular basis helps me feel less like my anxiety is overwhelming.
(Math problems are also excellent. Designing quilts is a type of math/geometry, but I used to pick random numbers and try to solve quadratic equations when I needed distraction.)
(Also, too, I definitely read as another coping tool, but it's the biking and quilting that have surprised me with their effeciveness.)
Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety
A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.
This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.
THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.
You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind.
People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.
In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture.
Therefore, I present to you:
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS
–Go on a walk
–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.
–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching
–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind
–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift
–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:
–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.
–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see.
–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in.
–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.)
–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety.
–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel.
–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless.
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:
–List the capitals of all the U.S. states
–List the capitals of all the European countries
–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors.
–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.
–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.
Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself. I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too.
(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)
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confetti dot beanbags
so here's a step by step to make the sequin beanbags the toddlers in my life (and the kindergarten teacher) love
you'll need a foot of confetti dot fabric and a matching fat quarter of cotton (it'll cost less than the quarter yard)
also some wonder clips and dried beans. I like navy beans and black eye peas best. oh, and don't forget the sewing machine!
1. press the cotton and cut a piece about 10.5in long and 5.5in wide
2. pull out your quarter yard if confetti and trim the end, then cut a strip a little more than 5.5in wide. don't worry about the length which should be 11-12 inches. make sure you have at least 5.5in, and I like to give it another quarter or half inch. this confetti dot knit shifts a lot under the needle, so be generous.
3. fold both pieces in half, making sure the sparkly side is in the middle. it helps to crease the cotton, then put the confetti dot inside - it doesn't like to fold neatly and it wiggles and slinks! you'll want to clip or pin the fold in place, though I find pins to be difficult to use with this stuff.
4. sew one side, pivot the corner, then sew to the middle, leaving about 2 inches of gap. you don't need to sew the fold.
I recommend using a 3/8in seam allowance to start with, because it will shift and go wonky. go slow and hold the layers together as best you can.
5. trim the excess confetti dot and snip the two corners. no need to do the corners at the fold
6. turn right side out and make the corners crisp. prepare 1/2 cup of dried beans. it doesn't need to be exact, but err on the minus side
7. put wonderclips all around the sides without the opening, then pour in your beans. this will ensure you have space to sew. it may seem a little crowded or stiff, but as long as you can go around all 4 sides with the clips you'll be fine.
by the way, I bought a tin of about 87 of these things on Amazon for $5. they were advertised as 100, but 87 is more than enough for me (so far)
8. back at the sewing machine, top stitch all the way around. I like to go over the open side twice. use a 1/4 in seam allowance. you'll see how the clips help keep the beans from squishing into you needle zone.
9. backstitch and tie off your threads and you're done!
I don't recommend the square confetti dot as much as the little dots. they put a lot more glue on your needle and tend to peel off.
also don't sew too many of these too fast without cleaning your needle - the glue from the dots WILL gunk it up.
little kids should play with these under supervision only, just in case the beans break open. they could choke an infant. however, smaller beans should be fine for bigger kids and won't cause harm if they're swallowed (provided there's no choking). this is why I use black eye peas: they're fairly small but not so small they they make unsatisfying beanbags
we haven't had any problems with this technique or beans after 3 months with a 1 year old. he likes to listen to the sound and squish them and look at the sparkly sequins. they're helpful for hand-eye coordination as well as counting and color naming (i made 8 different colors). a 3 year old i know uses them for imagination play and story telling. she likes the sparkly colors, too.
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