Rumi

For ages you have come and gone

courting this delusion.

For ages you have run from the pain

and forfeited the ecstasy.

So come, return to the root of the root

of your own soul.

Although you appear in earthly form

Your essence is pure Consciousness.

You are the fearless guardian

of Divine Light.

So come, return to the root of the root

of your own soul.

When you lose all sense of self

the bonds of a thousand chains will vanish.

Lose yourself completely,

Return to the root of the root

of your own soul.

You descended from Adam, by the pure Word of God,

but you turned your sight

to the empty show of this world.

Alas, how can you be satisfied with so little?

So come, return to the root of the root

of your own soul.

Why are you so enchanted by this world

when a mine of gold lies within you?

Open your eyes and come ---

Return to the root of the root

of your own soul.

You were born from the rays of God's Majesty

when the stars were in their perfect place.

How long will you suffer from the blows

of a nonexistent hand?

So come, return to the root of the root

of your own soul.

You are a ruby encased in granite.

How long will you decieve Us with this outer show?

O friend, We can see the truth in your eyes!

So come, return to the root of the root

of your own soul.

After one moment with that glorious Friend

you became loving, radiant, and ecstatic.

Your eyes were sweet and full of fire.

Come, return to the root of the root

of your own soul.

Shams-e Tabriz, the King of the Tavern

has handed you an eternal cup,

And God in all His glory is pouring the wine.

So come! Drink!

Return to the root of the root

of your own soul.

Soul of all souls, life of all life - you are That.

Seen and unseen, moving and unmoving - you are That.

The road that leads to the City is endless;

Go without head and feet

and you'll already be there.

What else could you be? - you are That.

This.

When y'all talking about the negative traits of the signs be sure to remind people that a lot of the bad stuff comes from underdeveloped signs. For example underdeveloped Venus in Pisces might have a hard time staying faithful and an underdeveloped Venus in Virgo may be toxically critical BUT a developed Venus in Pisces can be so loyal and caring and a developed Venus in Virgo will accept your flaws and help you grow. You should consider that when you're looking at a potential s/o's chart rather than just writing them off based on the worst case scenario.

Circle of control

Your life doesn’t just ‘happen’. Whether you choose to accept it or not, it is carefully designed by you. The choices, after all, are yours. You choose happiness. You choose sadness. You choose decisiveness. You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation, provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things differently to produce more positive results. You will have a much better life, if you focus your mental and physical energy ONLY  on the things you can personally influence. Everything else is a  distraction that pulls you away from running your life properly. But  quite counter-intuitively, this smaller focus does not shrink your  influence and your ability to do good. It causes these things to increase. Covey calls the range of everything you spend time thinking about your Circle of Concern. Similarly, everything you can actually influence is called your Circle of Control. (excerpted from Habit 1: Be Proactive, in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey) “In looking at ways to influence and change our  surroundings it is helpful to notice where we focus our time and energy.  We each have a wide range of concerns–our health, our family, problems  at work, the national debt, etc., and it is these things in our lives  that make up our Circle of Concern. As we look at those things within our Circle of  Concern, it becomes apparent that there are some things over which we  have no real control and others that we can do something about. We could  identify those concerns in the latter group by circumscribing them in a  smaller Circle of Influence. The problems all of us face fall in one of three  areas: direct control (problems involving our own behavior); indirect  control; or no control (problems we can do nothing about, such as our past, or situational   realities). A proactive approach is the first step to the   solution of all three kinds of problems within our present Circle of   Influence. Proactive  people are smart, they are value driven, they read reality, and they  know what’s needed. And they focus their efforts in the Circle of  Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The  nature of their energy is positive, enlarging, and magnifying, causing  their Circle of Influence to increase. It’s a character focus. Any time we think the problem is ‘out there,’ that thought is the problem.  We empower what’s out there to control us. The change paradigm is  ‘outside-in’–what’s out there has to change before we can change. The proactive approach is to change from the   inside-out; to be different, and by being different to effect positive   change in what’s out there — I can be more resourceful, I can be more diligent, I can be a better listener, I can be a better leader. There are things (like the weather) that our Circle  of Influence will never include. But as proactive people, we can create  and carry our own physical or social weather with us. We can try to  accept those things that at the present we can’t control, while we focus  our efforts on the things that we can. Make small commitments and keep them.  Be a proactive, not reactive. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.”

How to Win Friends and Influence People

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” -Dale Carnegie Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. Ninety nine times out of hundred, people don't criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be. Most of them attempt by a form of reasoning, fallacious or logical, to justify their acts to themselves. When criticism is minimized and praise emphasized, the good things people do will be reinforced and the poorer things will atrophy for the lack of attention. The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated because it satisfies their desire to be great/important. If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I'll tell you what you are. That determines your character. That is the most significant thing about you. “Self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.” -William Winter People love the chance to express themselves, their worth, and to show their importance. “Actions seems to follow feeling, but really actions and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not." -William James "I have never found that pay and pay alone would either bring together or hold good people. I think it was the game itself." -Harvey S. Firestone "Let's get the other person's point of view and see things from his or her angle, as well as from our own." ~ Be empathetic. -Henry Ford You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.

Coxisms

“Good God in heaven, Newbie, there are just so very many ways for me to say this to you: Never; not in a million years; absolutely not; no way, Jose; no chance, Lance; niet; negatory; mm-mm; nuh-uh; oh-oh; and of course my own personal favorite of all time, man falling off of a cliff — Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!…"

"Relationships don’t work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won’t they, and then they finally do and they’re happy forever — gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven’t. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, ’cause I do…believe in it. Bottom line…is the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don’t let it take ‘em down."

Pick-Up award

And the award for the best pick up line goes to... "Jamie Randall: Hey, Lisa. Bruce Winston: Her name's not Lisa. Jamie Randall: I know. I know. But, if everytime I say "Hey, Lisa", then eventually she'll come up to me and she'll be like, you know, "My name's not Lisa it's... Jennifer"... whatever, and I'll do a big apology and I'll say, "I thought you were the Lisa who was mad at me for not calling". And, from then on Jennifer, or whatever her name is, will think that I dated a girl who looked just like her... who I rejected. She'll develop this unconscious need to win my approval and from then on, it's cake. Bruce Winston: Damn!"

Excerpts from 'My dinner with Andre'

"Andre: OK. Yes, we are bored. We're all bored now. But has it ever occurred to you Wally that the process that creates this boredom that we see in the world now may very well be a self-perpetuating, unconscious form of brainwashing, created by a world totalitarian government based on money, and that all of this is much more dangerous than one thinks? and it's not just a question of individual survival Wally, but that somebody who's bored is asleep, and somebody who's asleep will not say no?" “Andre: Do you know how a lot of New Yorkers keep talking about the fact that they want to leave the city but never do? Do you know why they don’t leave? I think that New York is the new Concentration Camp, where the inmates themselves have built the camp and they are their own guards. They have this pride in this thing they have built: They have built their own prison, and they exist in a state of schizophrenia where they are both guards and prisoners. As a result, they no longer have, having been lobotomized, the capacity to leave the city they’ve made, or to even see it as a prison.” "Wally: And I mean, you know, it's the same with any kind of prophecy or sign or an omen, because if you believe in omens, then that means that the universe--I mean, I don't even know how to begin to describe this. That means that the future is somehow sending messages backwards to the present! Which means that the future must exist in some sense already in order to be able to send these messages. And it also means that things in the universe are there for a purpose: to give us messages. Whereas I think that things in the universe are just there. I mean, they don't mean anything. I mean, you know, if the turtle's egg falls out of the tree and splashes on the paving stones, it's just because that turtle was clumsy, by accident. And to decide whether to send my ships off to war on the basis of that seems a big mistake to me. " "Wally: Heidegger said that if you were to experience your own being to the full, you would be experiencing the decay of that being toward death as part of your experience."

The best of the Big Bang Theory

"Yes - it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality."

"Penny: Sheldon, what are you going to have?

Sheldon: I'll have a Diet Coke.

Penny: Okay, can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.

Sheldon: Fine. I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.

Penny: That's, um, Rum and Coke without the Rum.

Sheldon: Yes.

Penny: So, Coke.

Sheldon: Yes... And would you make it Diet"

"Sheldon:Sorry I'm late.

Leonard:What happened?

Sheldon:Nothing, I just really didn't want to come."

"Just once, I wish I could go out with someone who's nice, and honest, and who actually cares about me.-Penny

What about me?-Leonard

Yes, I will go out with you.-Penny"

"Leonard: Oh. Okay. But before you say anything, have you ever heard of Schrodinger’s Cat?

Penny: Actually, I’ve heard far too much about Schrodinger’s Cat.

Leonard: Good. (He grabs her and kisses her.)"

"Leonard: Sheldon, how could you just sit there and let them spy on me?

Sheldon: They were clever, Leonard. They exploited my complete lack of interest in what you were doing."

"Stephanie: What did you do today? Leonard Hofstadter: Well, I'm a physicist, so I just thought about stuff. Stephanie: That's it? Leonard Hofstadter: I wrote some of it down."

"Sheldon: Let’s begin with the premise that everything you’ve done up to this point is wrong."

"L :What did you mean when you said you were going to miss me? L :What about that really long hug? What did that mean? P :It means I wish you weren't going."

"Sheldon: Wait, no, that’s a false equivalency. More does not equal merry. If there were 2,000 people in this apartment right now, would we be celebrating? No, we’d be suffocating."

"Penny: So, how you been? Sheldon: Well, my existence is a continuum, so I’ve been what I am at each point in the implied time period."

"Leonard giving Sheldon advice about his situation with Amy: Alright, well, lemme see if I can explain your situation using Physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis? Sheldon: Screwed. Leonard: There you go."

“Under normal circumstances I’d say I told you so. But, as I have told so with such vehemence and frequency already the phrase has lost all meaning. Therefore, I will be replacing it with the phrase, I have informed you thusly."

"Leonard: I need a drink. Do we have any alcohol? Sheldon: No. But we have potatoes, I could make you vodka. It’ll take two weeks."

Rich Dad Poor Dad

Success=Priority*Goal

Where Goal is a target driven dream.(Time management+Planning)

Evolve a well conceive plan of action, after evaluating the pros and cons of various options available to achieve what you have planned to achieve by a particular date and time.

Each activity requires a minimum quantum of time. No amount of hurrying up can hasten the process beyond a limit. Therefore accord requisite time duration for any action to fructify.

Loving what I do, till I can manage to do what I want, is an essential perquisite to excel.

Initiate change by setting a personal example. Bring in change in the behavior or attitudes by inspiring people to do things better and on their own and never through coercion.

Don’t be afraid of spending money to learn something. Acquire assets and decrease liabilities. Increase income. Try to have a business rather than a job. Educate yourself financially. Avoid bad habits of the poor such as dipping into your savings.

Psych Test

Read the following questions, imagining the scenes in your mind, and write down the FIRST thing that you visualize. Do not think about the questions excessively. 1. You are walking in the woods. Who are you walking with? 2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?

4. You walk deeper into the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream house. Describe its size.

5. Is your dream house open, or surrounded by a fence?

6. You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining room table. Describe what you see on and around the table.

7. You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. What material is the cup made of (ceramic, glass, paper, etc.)?

8. What do you do with the cup?

9. You walk to the edge of the property, where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What type of body of water is it?

10. How will you cross the water?

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This has been a relational psychology test. The answers given to the questions have been shown to have a relevance to values and ideals that we hold in our personal lives. The analysis follows->

1. The person who you are walking with is the most important person in your life.

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems.

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems (passive, aggressive).

4. The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to resolve your problems.

5. No fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence is more indicative of a closed personality. You'd prefer people to not drop by unannounced.

6. If your answer did not include food, people, or flowers then you are generally unhappy.

7. The durability of the material with which the cup is made is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with the person from number 1. For example, Styrofoam, plastic, and paper are disposable; Styrofoam, paper, and glass (ceramics) are not durable; and metal and plastic are durable.

8. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude toward the person in number 1.

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.

10. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life.

And that’s how you do it!

"There’s no easy way to say this so I’ll just say it, I met someone. It was an accident, I wasn't looking for it, it wasn't on the make, it was a perfect storm. She said one thing, I said another, next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation. Now there’s this feeling in my gut she might be the one. She’s completely nuts in a way that makes me smile, highly neurotic with a great deal of maintenance required, she is you. That’s the good news. The bad is I don’t know how to be with you right now. And that scares the shit out of me. Because if I’m not with you right now, I have this feeling that we’ll get lost out there. It’s a big, bad world full of twists and turns. And people have a way of blinking and missing the moment. The moment that could have changed everything. I don’t know what’s going on with us, and I can’t tell you why you should waste the leap of faith on the likes of me, but damn you smell good. Like home. That’s got to count for something right?"

IsThisWhatLoveIsLike?

‘He works. She works. They split the bills. Usually they leave each other to their hobbies while at times they enjoy them together. At night they watch illegally downloaded movies together. She makes him a sandwich. He helps her shop. They joke about how the people they know are stupid. He tells her about how annoying her friends are. She tells him how annoying his friends are. They laugh together. They are amazing in bed. Days are spent surfing the web together, playing games together. Or occasionally going outside for walks, coffee, or make fun of strangers. Go and eat together at restaurants. Bowling and mini-golfing. Going to the movies. She surprises him with an occasional back rub in the morning and he returns the favor by cooking breakfast. He surprises her by letting her play a video game with her, and she responds by whooping his ass at it. They respect one another and don't get jealous. They trust each other. Have cute arguments like whose turn it is to do the dishes or whose turn it is to pay when going out. They're a team. A club. A two person gang that nobody is allowed to join. It's them versus everyone else.’

Ye jo hai woh tujse hai!

Kuch bhi sochti hu, It's coz of you; Khushiyan hai kyunki tum ho toh khush hu; Tabhi toh ye jo hai woh tujse hai; Aashu hai toh dukh hai, par ye bhi toh tujse hai. {I don't ever want to say bye} Oye sun ladke, Iss janam ni karni shaadi tune pehle bta dia, par baaki jitni bhi life milegi, I will marry you only aur koi baat ni sunungi. Tere bin ni dekhni ye duniya. Na raat, na din. Ye raatei toh kaali thi, chandni banai tumne.

-Preeti

Life lessons by a learned lady of 90+

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio . "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more: 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.* 3. Life is too short – enjoy it. 4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.* 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.* 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.* 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 12. It's OK to let your children see you cry. 13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.* 14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. 15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks. 16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.* 17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways. 18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. 19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.* 20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.* 21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.* 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. 23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. 24. The most important sex organ is the brain. 25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.* 26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'* 27. Always choose life. 28. Forgive. 29. What other people think of you is none of your business.* 30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.* 31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.* 32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.* 33. Believe in miracles.* 34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do. 35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. 36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young. 37. Your children get only one childhood. 38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.* 39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.* 40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. 41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need. 42. The best is yet to come...* 43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 44. Yield. 45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift." //I marked the ones I especially liked with an asterisk '*' in the end.

"Everything Happens for a Reason"

Sometimes people come into    your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of    purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to    become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, teacher,    fraternal brother or sister, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but    when you lock eyes with them, you know that at that very moment they will affect your life    in some profound way.     And sometimes things happen to you that may seem    horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming    those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or    heart.    Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens    by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness,    and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without the small tests,    whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight flat road to nowhere.  It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the    success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become.  Even    the bad experiences can be learned from.  In fact, they are probably the most poignant and    important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for    they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to when you    open your heart.  If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because    they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your    heart and eyes to things. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those    moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.    Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.  Let yourself    fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have    every right to.  Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if    you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.  You can    make your life anything you wish.  Create your own life and then go out and live it with    absolutely no regrets.  Most importantly, if you love someone tell them, for you never know    what tomorrow may have in store.  And finally, enjoy looking forward to learning a new    lesson each day and enjoying the journey.

Mental Attitude by Elbert Hubbard

Success is in the blood. There are men whom fate can never keep down--they march forward in a jaunty manner, and take by divine right the best of everything that the earth affords. But their success is not attained by means of the Samuel Smiles-Connecticut policy. They do not lie in wait, nor scheme, nor fawn, nor seek to adapt their sails to catch the breeze of popular favor. Still, they are ever alert and alive to any good that may come their way, and when it comes they simply appropriate it, and tarrying not, move steadily on. Good health! Whenever you go out of doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every hand-clasp. Do not fear being misunderstood; and never waste a moment thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your own mind what you would like to do, and then without violence of direction you will move straight to the goal. Fear is the rock on which we split, and hate the shoal on which many a barque is stranded. When we become fearful, the judgment is as unreliable as the compass of a ship whose hold is full of iron ore; when we hate, we have unshipped the rudder; and if ever we stop to meditate on what the gossips say, we have allowed a hawser to foul the screw. Keep your mind on the great and splendid thing you would like to do; and then, as the days go gliding by, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the elements that it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought that you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual you so admire. Thought is supreme, and to think is often better than to do. Preserve a right mental attitude--the attitude of courage, frankness and good cheer. Darwin and Spencer have told us that this is the method of Creation. Each animal has evolved the parts it needed and desired. The horse is fleet because he wishes to be; the bird flies because it desires to; the duck has a web foot because it wants to swim. All things come through desire and every sincere prayer is answered. We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. Many people know this, but they do not know it thoroughly enough so that it shapes their lives. We want friends, so we scheme and chase 'cross lots after strong people, and lie in wait for good folks--or alleged good folks--hoping to be able to attach ourselves to them. The only way to secure friends is to be one. And before you are fit for friendship you must be able to do without it. That is to say, you must have sufficient self-reliance to take care of yourself, and then out of the surplus of your energy you can do for others. The individual who craves friendship, and yet desires a self-centered spirit more, will never lack for friends. If you would have friends, cultivate solitude instead of society. Drink in the ozone; bathe in the sunshine; and out in the silent night, under the stars, say to yourself again and yet again, "I am a part of all my eyes behold!" And the feeling then will come to you that you are no mere interloper between earth and heaven; but you are a necessary part of the whole. No harm can come to you that does not come to all, and if you shall go down it can only be amid a wreck of worlds. Like old Job, that which we fear will surely come upon us. By a wrong mental attitude we have set in motion a train of events that ends in disaster. People who die in middle life from disease, almost without exception, are those who have been preparing for death. The acute tragic condition is simply the result of a chronic state of mind--a culmination of a series of events. Character is the result of two things, mental attitude, and the way we spend our time. It is what we think and what we do that make us what we are. By laying hold on the forces of the universe, you are strong with them. And when you realize this, all else is easy, for in your arteries will course red corpuscles, and in your heart the determined resolution is born to do and to be. Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis.

To give, to receive and to dance.

This is a bit too long but do still read it till the end. ------------ Graduation address by Nipun Mehta, on May 27, 2013 When the student body of an elite private school in Silicon Valley was given the chance to vote on who would give their graduation address this year, they chose a man named Nipun Mehta. This is the speech that Nipun Mehta delivered. Thank you Jennifer Gargano, Chris Nikoloff and the entire faculty at Harker. To you, the class of 2013, congratulations! I’m delighted to be with you on your special day, and it is a particular honor since I know you chose your speaker. So, graduation day is here and this once-in-a-lifetime milestone moment has arrived. In the words of Taylor Swift, I can tell how you’re feeling: “happy, free, confused, and lonely, miserable and magical at the same time.” Who would’ve thought we’d be quoting words of wisdom from Taylor Swift at your commencement. Today, I’m here with some good news and bad news. I’ll give you the good first. You might be surprised to hear this, but you are about to step out into a world that’s in good shape - in fact the best shape that that it’s ever been in. The average person has never been better fed than today. Infant mortality has never been lower; on average we’re leading longer, healthier lives. Child labor, illiteracy and unsafe water have ceased to be global norms. Democracy is in, as slavery is disappearing. People don’t have to work as hard to just survive. A bicycle in 1895 used to cost 260 working hours, today we’ve gotten that number down to 7.2. So, things are progressing. But I’m afraid that’s not the full story. You’ll want to brace yourselves, because this is the bad news part. This week, Time Magazine’s cover story labeled you guys as the “Me, Me, Me” generation; the week before, NY Times reported that the suicide rate for Gen X went up by 30% in the last decade, and 50% for the boomer generation. We’ve just learned that atmospheric carbon levels surpassed 400 PPM for the first time in human history. Our honeybee colonies are collapsing, thereby threatening the future of our food supply. And all this is just the tip of the iceberg. What we’re handing over to you is a world full of inspiring realities coupled with incredibly daunting ones. In other words: miserable and magical isn't just a pop-song lyric - it's the paradox that you are inheriting from us. So, what do you do with that? I’m going to be honest - I don’t really know. I do know this, though: At the core of all of today's most pressing challenges is one fundamental issue: we have become profoundly disconnected. Rather ironic, considering that we live in an era where Facebook has spawned 150 billion “connections”, as we collectively shell out 4.5 billion likes on status updates, every single day. Yet, a growing body of science is showing what we already feel deep in our gut: we’re more isolated than ever before. The average American adult reports having just one real friend that they can count on. Just one. And for the first time in 30 years, mental health disabilities such as ADHD outrank physical ones among American children. Somehow we’ve allowed our relationship to gadgets and things to overtake our real-world ties. We’ve forgotten how to rescue each other. Yet, deep inside we all still have that capacity. We know we have it because we saw it at Sandy Hook, in the brave teachers who gave up their lives to save their students. We saw it during the Boston Marathon when runners completed the race and kept running to the nearest blood bank. We saw it just this week in Oklahoma when a waiter at a fast food chain decided to donate all his tips to the tornado relief efforts and triggered a chain of generosity. So we know that we can tap into our inner goodness when crisis strikes. But can we do it on a run-of- the-mill Monday? That’s the question in front of you. Will you, class of 2013 step up to rebuild a culture of trust, empathy and compassion? Our crisis of disconnection needs a renaissance of authentic friendship. We need you to upgrade us from Me-Me-Me to We-We-We. Reflecting on my own journey, there have been three keys that helped me return to a place of connection. I’d like to share those with you today, in the hope that perhaps it might support your journey. The First Key Is To Give In the movie Wall Street - which originally came out well before you guys were born - there’s a character named Gordon Gekko whose credo in life reads: Greed is Good. When I was about your age, Silicon Valley was in the seductive grip of the dot-com boom. It was a time when it was easy to believe that Greed was Good. But a small group of us had a different hypothesis: *Maybe* greed is good, but Generosity is better. We tested that hypothesis. When I startedServiceSpace, our first project was to build websites for nonprofits at no charge. We ended up building and gifting away thousands of sites, but that wasn’t our main goal. Our real purpose was to practice generosity. In the early days, the media was pretty sure we had a hidden agenda. "We're doing this just to practice giving with no strings attached," we said. The few who actually believed us didn’t think we could sustain it. The thing is - we did. A decade later, when our work started attracting millions of viewers, entrepreneurs told us that we'd be crazy to not slap on ads or try to monetize our services. The thing is - we didn't. We probably *were* a bit crazy. And when we started Karma Kitchen, people really thought "No way!" It was a restaurant where your check always read zero, with this note: "Your meal is paid for by someone before you, and now it’s your chance to pay it forward." The thing is - 25 thousand meals later, the chain continues in several cities around the globe. People consistently underestimate generosity, but human beings are simply wired to give. In one study at Harvard, scientists surprised a couple hundred volunteers with an unexpected monetary reward and gave them the choice of keeping it or giving it away. The only catch was that they had to make the decision spontaneously. Lo and behold, the majority chose - to give away the money! Greed, it turns out, is a calculated after-thought. Our natural instinct is, and always has been, to give. When you take Economics 101 in college, you will learn that all of economics is rooted in the assumption that people aim to maximize self-interest. I hope you don’t just take that for granted. I hope you challenge it. Consider the likes of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa, who have rocked the history of our planet with the exact opposite assumption, with the belief in the goodness of our human nature. Or consider Ruby Bridges: Six-year-old Ruby was the first African American girl to go to an all-white school on Nov 14, 1960. All the teachers refused to teach her, except for one Mrs. Henry. Ruby received constant death threats and on the way to class every day, people would line up to shout and throw things. Mrs. Henry instructed Ruby to not speak to anyone, as she crossed the jeering crowds every day. But one day, she saw Ruby saying something, so she said, “Ruby, I told you not to speak to anyone.” “No, Mrs. Henry, I didn’t say anything to them.” “Ruby, I saw you talking. I saw your lips moving.” “Oh, I was just praying. I was praying for them,” Ruby responded. Then she recited her prayer, and I quote “Please, God, try to forgive these people. Because even if they say those bad things, they don’t know what they’re doing.” A six year old! Wishing well for those who were wishing her harm. How generous is that? And what does it say about the power of the human heart? Our capacity to love is a currency that never runs out. May each of you tap into that generous ocean and discover every day, what it means to give. The Second Key Is To Receive When we give, we think we are helping others. That's true, but we are also helping ourselves. With any act of unconditional service, no matter how small, our biochemistry changes, our mind quietens, and we feel a sense of gratefulness. This inner transformation fundamentally shifts the direction of our lives. A couple summers ago, we had two 14-year-olds, Neil and Dillan, interning at ServiceSpace. One of their projects was a 30-day kindness challenge - they had to come up with and do a different act of kindness every day for a month. In the beginning they had to plan "kindness activities", but slowly they learned how to spontaneously turn their daily life into a canvas for giving. Doing the dishes for mom without her asking, stopping to help a stranger with a flat tire, standing up for a bullied kid, gifting all their winnings at the arcade to a child. Very quickly, kindness shifted from being an activity - to a way of life. It wasn't just about who they were helping; it was about who they themselves were becoming through the process. Last weekend, I happened to see Neil after a while, the day after Senior Prom, and he had a story to share, "Last night I noticed that the dance floor was too small and a few of the special needs students just couldn't get on. So I grabbed a bunch of my friends, and we started dancing in a little circle around them. Everyone had a great time." Then, he paused for a reflective moment, and asked me, "But I felt so good about doing that. Do you think I was being selfish?" What a profound question. What Neil experienced was the fact that when we give, we receive many times over. Or as the Dalai Lama once put it, "Be Selfish, Be Generous.” It is in giving that we receive. When we think of generosity, we typically think of it as a zero sum game. If I give you a dollar, that’s one less dollar for me. The inner world, though, operates with an entirely different set of rules. The boundaries aren’t so easy to decipher. Your state of being inherently affects my state of being. This isn’t feel-good talk. It’s actual science. Research shows that, in close proximity, when people feel connected, their individual heartbeats actually start to synchronize - even with zero physical contact. In neuroscience, the discovery of mirror neurons has shown us that we literally do feel each other’s pain - and joy. And joy is *definitely* not a zero-sum game. The law of abundance says that if I give you a smile, that's not one less smile for me. The more I smile, the more I *do* smile. The more I love, the more love I have to give. So, when you give externally, you receive internally. How do the two compare? That's a question only you can answer for yourself, and that answer will keep changing as your awareness deepens. Yet this much is clear: if you only focus on the externals, you’ll live your life in the deadening pursuit of power and products. But if you stay in touch with your inner truth, you will come alive with joy, purpose, and gratitude. You will tap into the law of abundance. May you discover that to be truly selfish, you must be generous. In giving, may you fully experience what it means to receive. The Third Key Is To Dance Our biggest problem with giving and receiving is that we try and track it. And when we do that, we lose the beat. The best dancers are never singularly focused on the mechanics of their movements. They know how to let go, tune into the rhythm and synchronize with their partners. It’s like that with giving too. It's a futile exercise to track who is getting what. We just have to dance. Take one of my friends for example, a very successful entrepreneur. Along his journey, he realized that it’s not just enough, as the cliché goes, to find your gifts. Gifts are actually meant to be *given.* In his daily life, he started cultivating some beautiful practices of generosity. For instance, every time he walked into a fancy restaurant, he told the waiter to find a couple that is most madly in love. "Put their tab on my bill, and tell them a stranger paid for their meal, with the hope that they pay it forward somewhere somehow," he would say. Being a fan of Batman, he took his anonymity seriously: "If anyone finds out it was me, the deal is off." Many restaurants, and waiters, knew him for this. And as a food connoisseur, some of his favorite places were also quite pricey - upwards of a couple hundred bucks per person. On one such day, he walks into a nice restaurant and does his usual drill. The person serving him obliges. However, this time, the waiter comes back with a counter request. "Sir, I know you like to be anonymous, but when I told that couple about the tab being covered, the woman just started sobbing. In fact, it’s been ten minutes and she's still tearing up. I think it would make her feel better if you were to just introduce yourself, just this once." Seeing this, he agrees to break his own cardinal rule and walks over to introduce himself. "M'aam, I was only trying to make your day. If it has brought up something, I'm so sorry." The woman excitedly says, "Oh no, not at all. You’ve just made my year, maybe my life. My husband and I, well, we work at a small nonprofit with physically challenged kids, and we have been saving up all year to have this meal here. It is our one year marriage anniversary today.” After a pause, she continues, “We always serve others in small ways, but to receive a kind act like this on our special day, well, it’s just an overwhelming testimonial that what goes around comes around. It renews our faith in humanity. Thank you. Thank you *SO* much." All of them were in tears. They kept in touch, he joined their board and they are friends to this day. Now, in that scenario, who was the giver? Who was the receiver? And more importantly, does it even matter? Dancing tells us to stop keeping track. Sometimes you're giving and sometimes you're receiving, but it doesn't really matter because the real reward of that give and take doesn’t lie in the value of what’s being exchanged. The real reward lies in what flows between us – our connection. Conclusion So, my dear friends, there you have it. The bad news is that we're in the middle of a crisis of disconnection, and the good news is that each and every one of you has the capacity to repair the web - to give, to receive and to dance. Sometime last year, I spontaneously treated a homeless woman to something she really wanted - ice- cream. We walked into a nearby 7-11, she got her ice-cream and I paid for it. Along the way, though, we had a great 3-minute chat about generosity and as we’re leaving the store, she said something remarkable: "I'd like to buy you something. Can I buy you something?" She empties her pockets and holds up a nickel. The cashier looks on, as we all share a beautiful, awkward, empathy-filled moment of silence. Then I hear my voice responding, “That’s so kind of you. I would be delighted to receive your offering. What if we pay-it-forward by tipping this kind cashier who has just helped us?” Her face breaks into a huge smile. “Good idea,” she says while dropping the nickel into the tip-jar. No matter what you have, or don’t have, we can all give. The good news is that generosity is not a luxury sport. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said it best, when he said, "Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve." He didn't say, "You have to be smart to serve." Or "You have to be famous to serve." Or "You have to be rich to serve." No, he said, "*Everybody* can be great, because *everybody* can serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You don't need to know the second law of thermodynamics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love." Harker Class of 2013, may you ALL find greatness in service to life. May you all give, receive - and never, ever, stop dancing.