fear and loathing in texas - 2023 from John McElhenney on Vimeo.

fear and loathing in texas - 2023 from John McElhenney on Vimeo.

off-parent-v3.mp4 from John McElhenney on Vimeo.

Furs Rip BW.mp4 from John McElhenney on Vimeo.

Dear Ex, We Are Different By Design

Dear Ex, We Are Different By Design

I’ve worked hard to see the divorce through my ex-wife’s lens. I’ve tried to understand how difficult it was living with me during the collapse of the economy that followed 9-11. Still, we chose to continue and have a second child. But our basic set of operating principles did not match up. There were no Love Languages back then. There were only two high school friends accelerating towards…

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Embracing the Win in My 12-years As a Single Dad

Embracing the Win in My 12-years As a Single Dad

I did not want the divorce. The divorce set me free. I did not fight for my right to be a 50/50 parent, as we had planned. I would’ve lost the legal battle in 2010. In my loss of the majority of my time with my kids I renewed my commitment to being the best dad I could be. Given the time I had, I would always strive to remain close and connected to my daughter and my son. Today, I still feel the…

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Father's Day After Divorce

Father’s Day After Divorce

This father’s day I celebrate my two kids, my dad, and my loving relationship. Here are some of the greatest “father” hits from The Whole Parent. Have a great father’s day, and if you can, go squeeze your kid’s necks, and any other family members you might see. The Father Son Emotional Loop: Struggling As a Single Dad Orbiting a Dying Star: My Father the Alcoholic Why Some Fathers Give Up After…

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Listening for Desire and Motivation: Crafting Love that Lasts

Listening for Desire and Motivation: Crafting Love that Lasts

There are a number of fragile points of contact when you begin dating someone. Moments and events can easily fracture the budding interest and enthusiasm of either partner. And what if one of the partners is good at hiding their dysfunction? How do you rattle the closets for skeletons without scaring off your new lover? The Opening Gambit in Dating Let’s say you are meeting someone face-to-face…

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Divorce Survival Kit: Keep Moving Forward, Stay Positive

Divorce Survival Kit: Keep Moving Forward, Stay Positive

A few days ago I wrote a post about trying to understand and come to terms with my son. The Father Son Emotional Loop: Struggling As a Single Dad Today, in a conversation with my daughter over lunch, I had a new insight that I did not articulate in the previous article. Here’s the nugget. Divorce Survival After the divorce, there were moments and months when I was trying to survive. My prior…

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Big Love & the Tonic Effect of Being In a Nourishing Relationship

Big Love & the Tonic Effect of Being In a Nourishing Relationship

Happiness is better shared! I love to be in love. And I love to build on the initial rush of love to discover even more love. And, there’s got to be a limit, right? How Do You Sustain a Big Love? What I know about myself, I am much happier IN A RELATIONSHIP. Now, that’s not to say, a bad relationship is better than being alone. A bad relationship, or for me, a relationship that no longer has the…

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The Father Son Emotional Loop: Struggling As a Single Dad

The Father Son Emotional Loop: Struggling As a Single Dad

I lost A LOT of time with my son. And in the negotiations about the divorce, I agreed to not tell the kids that the divorce was my then-wife’s idea. We lied to protect the children from the truth. And until recently I keep the secret, but I was not happy about the lie, nor the last-minute change of heart when my then-wife decided to demote me to the non-custodial parent. So, in the last 11-years,…

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Looking to Get a Little Higher: Seeking Elevation & Immortality

Looking to Get a Little Higher: Seeking Elevation & Immortality

Let’s admit that coffee (caffeine) is a drug. Now, let’s talk about how we get a little high each morning when we drink our daily cuppa. And if we’re starting to add full-spectrum CBD we might be getting even a bit more elevated. A day without coffee… Well, I don’t know what that’s about. Each time I’ve gotten off caffeine I’ve wound up with a week of headaches and lethargy. How Do You Seek…

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In This Moment You Choose: Happy or Resentful

In This Moment You Choose: Happy or Resentful

There are a lot of our lives that are not under our control. One of the simple (not simple to practice) realities is this: you are your thoughts. As you dwell on anger or resentment, so is your experience of life. If you can turn your face towards the sun, the affirmations and gratitudes in your life also become your life as well. Happier.  How To Stop the Flood of Thoughts It’s not easy to train…

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Dad vs. Moms: We're All #Parents or #SingleParents

Dad vs. Moms: We’re All #Parents or #SingleParents

There’s this odd phenomenon that we’re all a part of on social media. Memes tend to be supporting MOMS or DADS but rarely PARENTS. I’m not sure where this divide came from. Divorce, perhaps? Or just some instinct we have to celebrate our tribe. I suppose, it’s not at the expense of the other parent, but it often feels like it’s a statement that says, “Moms rock, dads are lazy.” The Great Divide…

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Finding Myself and My Body, Again

Finding Myself and My Body, Again

I am not going to like this post. Of all the things I am happy about in my life there is one thing that has bugged me since I was a kid. (Maybe this is not something I can completely overcome.) I was always a husky kid. I’m still a bit too husky. And with so many of the things in my life falling into place, at this moment, I am ready to turn some of my focus towards my Achilles’ love handles. And…

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What I Learned About Drinking: The Summer of Love

What I Learned About Drinking: The Summer of Love

I was dating a woman who drank. Not like the main antagonist, but daily. Recreationally. As part of “fun.” What I Learned About Drinking I would not call myself a drinker. I have a bottle of tequila in my kitchen that I bought over a year ago. I like a margarita every now and then, but it’s not really part of my routine. I’d prefer to say sober and get some creative time in after the…

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Setting Priorities in Life: The Only Path Forward

Setting Priorities in Life: The Only Path Forward

Here is my historic post about setting goals. This was less than a year before my then-wife would ask for a divorce. My goals in 2022 remain unchanged. I’ll check in shortly on my current progress.  BIG GOALS 2009 UPDATE [A dear friend commented on my 2009 priority list today, and now it’s time to update the status and see where I am, where I am making progress, and where I need to focus more…

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