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jackiekashian · 17 days

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no one reads these anymore right? Maybe i should post on wordpress…

I won’t be with Maria outside Pittsburgh tonite.

You know when you want to be mad at yourself even though it doesn’t matter and it becomes some sort of theater?

This week in scattered thought and action… not complete: I flew to Columbus Ohio and in the cab from the airport I left my airpod holder/charger and the portable brick charger attached. i got a new airpod holder charger but not a brick bc i have a backup.

I was flying to minneapolis the next day and misplaced my wallet to the tune of six witnesses and 90 minutes of scramble and me remembering witnesses to bad behavior, while technically, could be turned into an audience of my tragic death scene… they didn’t buy a ticket. So i was pretty good (tho not perfect… i was a little teary eyed and so mad at myself)… i thought i was rewarded for my patience by finding my wallet.

I go to Minneapolis and get to the airport early. So early I use up the charge on my other brick charger so plug it in. I missed the flight to Pittsburgh bc I left the charger and WENT BACK FOR IT. It’s not a fellow Marine… it’s a $100 charger. But I asked the people to call the gate and ran for it but the door was closed. So I missed the flight. And i had a small temper tantrum and cried and - it wasn’t the worst - like it wouldn’t go viral. But it was embarrassing and there was no way to get there on time for the show. So the agent has to find a new opener for Maria. My luggage is going to Pittsburgh. And I’m flying back to LA.

I am now trying to parse why I still want to hate myself for forgetting so many things this week. I want to still be mad at myself and have people be mad. Maria gave me extra money. I think - I HOPE it was the bump from last night’s show and not just sick pay:) but I’m not good at not accepting money. So I’ve taken it. I know Maria gets it. She has missed and forgotten things. But I’m just so mad and scared it’s the end of my brain working. But it’s also - A. OVER… just keep swimming Dory. And B. So many moving parts and not sleeping a lot. So chill kashian.

And I’m still in a skyclub. I’ve told the story to too many Delta reps and can’t face telling it to every friend and family member. To each person asking “so you couldn’t get another flight and make the show.” “There wasn’t another early flight?” I probably would have taken it. “The plane was there but they wouldn’t let you on?” I probably would have gotten on it. “So your luggage is on the flight to Pittsburgh? You checked it at Minneapolis?” That’s how checked luggage works.

“You knew the flight was boarding and Minneapolis gates are really far, why didn’t you just abandon the charger? The charger costs $100 - you would have got to hang with your friend, watch her work on her set, work on your new jokes and make more than $100?” And then I want to get defensive and explain tired and I already lost one… And I KNOW the questions aren’t there to make me feel worse - just people thinking out loud to get the problem and either fix it or offer ideas of how not to do it in the future. Hell, that last has not even been said to me… that’s the Parole Board Committee meeting that’s being held in my head right now. And you’ve just read the minutes. Sigh.

No sympathy is required, just venting and others might need to hear my brain and know they aren’t alone.

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jackiekashian · 3 months

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#dorkforest podcast spotify applepodcast youtube

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jackiekashian · 1 year

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Fan Faves of 2022

The votes are in for 2022!

ALL THE EPS have something for someone and are great but here is a starter list if you’re thinking to start listening to TDF and are not a numerologist completest. and it’s just guest name and dorkdom. www.dorkforest.com or wherever you listen to podcasts. It’s also on youtube.

Note: show’s been going since 2006 but I’ve only been surveying since 2011. Standup info and other podcast is at www.jackiekashian.com

2022

TDF EP 659 and 688 - Both with my Sister Darla Kashian (Fiddly/SimpleMeals and Orchestras) TDFEP 660 - My brother Phil Kashian - Fly Fishing TDF EP 658 - Caitlin Durante - Paddington Bear TDF EP 665 - Irene Tu - In-N-Out Burger TDF EP 670 - Moontower LIVE w Guy Branum, Atsuko, Chris Cubas TDF EP 675 - Shelley McLendon - Cult Documentaries TDF EP 678 - Andy Ashcraft - Marvel Phase Four TDF EP 679 - Kyle Clark - Learning to Draw TDF EP 691 - Sean Blair Flannery - Chicago Dive Bars TDF EP 696 - Carmen Morales - Collaging

TDF EP 677 - Andrea Jones-Rooy - Spreadsheets TDF EP 704 - Nour Hadidi - Pokemon TDF EP 692 - CJ Sullivan - Professional Gamblers TDF EP 703 - Kurt Braunohler - Surfing TDF EP 684 - Antonio Portela - Trombone

SO MANY GOOD ONES THIS YEAR. I’m feeling pretty strong on my “encourage people to talk” skills!! :) yay dorkouts.

DUDE. the formatting on the rest of this blows. I will try to fix it and repost. but here’s the good news. It’s LIKE PROSE NOW!

2021

TDF EP 611 - Greg Proops - Negro Leagues TDF EP 654 - Jamie Loftus - Chuck E Cheese TDF EP 605 - Tom Papa - Bread TDF EP 627 - Joyelle Johnson - Gone with the Wind TDF EP 652 - Andy Ashcraft - Sandman LARPS TDF EP 626 - Aisha Alfa - Korean Food TDF EP 634 – Heather Tomson – Grey Gardens TDF EP 640 - Brandon Palomo - Pearl Jam TDF EP 620 - Brian Swartz - M.A.S.H. TDF EP 642 - Danielle Koenig – CHEERS

TDF EP 646 - Caitlin Gill - Silk Screening Shirts TDF EP 601 – Jenn Welch - Animal Crossing TDF EP 617 - Katie McMillian - Stardew Valley TDF EP 635 – Kate Gaffney – Stevie Wonder TDF EP 651 – Tess Rafferty – Light Murder Mysteries TDF EP 624 - David Rees - Effects Pedals TDF EP 649 – Ophira Eisenberg – Novels galore TDF EP 644 – Matthew Chadourne – Criterion Collection TDF EP 647 – Jenny Zigrino – Estate Sales TDF EP 628 – Justin Mohareb – Marvel

2020 TDF EP 562 - Guy Branum - Mitford Sisters TDF EP 568 - Maria Bamford - Canadian Reality Shows TDF EP 599 - Jen Kirkman - Hallmark Christmas Movies TDF EP 565 - Darla Kashian – COOKING TDF EP 598 - Russ Kashian - Hallmark Christmas Movies TDF EP 549 - Tig Notaro – Veganism TDF EP 581 - Jenny Yang - Comfort Food TDF EP 591 - Amber Preston - Church Cookbooks TDF EP 574 - Ron Funches - Call of Duty and Animal Crossing TDF EP 577 - Barbara Holiday - Escape Rooms TDF EP 558 - Sarah Mowrey - Fleetwood Mac TDF EP566 - Matt Kirshen/Myq Kaplan - Advice Columns TDF EP 595 - Kristin Key - Mad Libs TDF EP 576 - Robert Jenkins - Guns and Safety TDF EP 588 - Sofiya Alexandra - Wheel of Time books TDF EP 570- Jim Woster – Columbo TDF EP 573 - Robert Hurt - Babylon 5 TDF EP 550 - Danielle Perez - Mariah Carey TDF EP 583 - Dar Vendegna - PIckleball TDF SPOILER 3 - Andy & Jackie - Rise of Skywalker

2019 TDF EP 523 Lydia Popovich Dolly Parton TDF EP 511 Auggie Smith Dead Comedians TDF EP 535 Christopher Titus Prince TDF EP 530 Phil Kashian Hitchhiking TDF EP 532 Brian Posehn Heavy Metal TDF EP 549 Tig Notaro Veganism SP1 Endgame Spoiler Dork Out TDF EP 503 Wynter Spears Public Restrooms TDF EP 524 Sara Benincasa Frederick Law Olmstead TDF EP 529 Caitlin Gill Murder She Wrote TDF EP 545 Mary Becquet Chinese Ghosts Vampires TDF EP 525 Matt Oswalt Taking Pictures TDF EP 510 Gary Anthony Williams Birds TDF EP 531 Robert Hurt DS9 TDF EP 547 Thom Tran The Flash TDF EP 540 Brian Jacobovitz Cthulu RPGs TDF EP 515 Judith Stephen CosPlay TDF EP 528 Justin Hermann Heroscape TDF EP 538 Dave Ross Zelda and LINK TDF EP 544 Sharon Houston Netflix British Reality Shows TDF EP 505 Kat Burdick Next Generation TDF EP 509 Michelle Biloon NYT Crossowords

2018 TDF EP 487 Amy Miller - Dolly Parton TDF EP 471 Emma Arnold - BEES TDF EP 499 - Erin Foley - Hallmark Christmas Movies TDF EP 481 - Cheryl Jones - Maritime History TDF EP 471 - Andy Ashcraft - GenCon TDF EP 482 - Nato Green - Union Organizing TDF EP 473 - Tamra Brown - Tiki Bars TDF EP 493 - Nina Manni - Air and Hotel Points TDF EP 446 - Carlos Delgado - Great British Bakeoff TDF EP 495 - Alice Wetterlund - Sharks TDF EP 487 - Mark Waid - Superman TDF EP 454 - Open Mike Eagle - Wrestling TDF EP 457 - Jean Grea - Ikea TDF EP 447 - Gariana Abeyta - All Genres have Great Movies

2017 TDF EP 390 - Phil Kashian - LOTR and MY BROTHER TDF EP 422 - Steve Agee - John Hughes Movies. Weird Science TDF EP 426 - Sara Schaefer - Cross Stitch TDF EP 431 - Jenny Jaffe - Planners. Calendars. Stickers. All the things. TDF EP 405 - Rebecca Sugar - Musicals TDF EP 438 - Jen Briney - freaking CONGRESS TDF EP 423 - Karen Rontowski - Moth Man TDF EP 401 - Jason Hatrick - Scuba diving TDF EP 429 - Kyle Clark - Halloween Theme Parks TDF EP 417 - Nat Towsen - Speed Racer TDF EP 402 - Tyler Hinman - Escape Rooms TDF EP 428 - Solomon Georgio - Black Sitcoms TDF EP 403 - Hal Lublin - Saturday Night Live TDF EP 408 - Al Madrigal - Jack Reacher NOVELS TDF EP 435 - Wyatt Gray - HP Lovecraft TDF EP 442 - Doug Stanhope - getting naked and Leisure Suits TDF EP 404 - Julie Dixson Jackson - Geneology TDF EP 427 - Lisa Allard – Quilting

2016 TDF EP 336 Jim Stewart Allen - Oregon Trail TDF EP 383 Jenny Chalikian – Xena TDF EP 387 Caitlin Gill - Roald Dahl TDF EP 358 Wil Anderson - Cricket TDF EP 359 Heather Simmons - Alice in Wonderland. TDF EP 340 Barbara Holm - Buffy the Vampire Slayer TDF EP 380 Beverly D’Angelo - things that Change your Life - Music, Places TDF EP 366 Karen Rontowski - Tarot Cards TDF EP 373 Stu Goldsmith - Boardgames with a STORY TDF EP 364 Maria Bamford LIVE at JFL Montreal (Bandcamp) 2016 I really liked: TDF EP 385 Jenny Zigrino - Authentic Historical Costuming TDF EP 347 Riley Silverman - The Potato. Mostly Frozen. TDF EP 355 Ivan Van Norman/Andy Ashcraft - Zombies & pen/paper games TDF EP 341 Cathy Ladman - Knitting TDF EP 349 Moon Zappa - The BIG questions TDF EP 368 Martha Kelly - Law and Order SVU TDF EP 367 Phil Johnson - Pirates TDF EP 362 Rory Scovel - Golf (quietly clap) TDF EP 339 Sovereign Syre - Spanish Invasion of Florida. TDF EP 348 Dash Kwiatkowski - Superman TDF EP 338 TJ Chambers - Chess TDF EP 379 Michelle Thaller – SPACE! LIVE DC Drafthouse (Bandcamp)

2015 TDF EP 303 Matt Saxe – all Vice Presidents. TDF EP 298 Jason Klamm – Vice Presidents and Lego! TDF EP 312 Greg Proops at LA Podfest – 70s Movies TDF EP 320 Wil Wheaton – BEER and Boardgames TDF EP 287 Michelle McNamara – Robert Durst and more True Crime TDF EP 294 Retta – Purses. Handbags TDF EP 323 Chez Amanda – Xfiles. Finally. TDF EP 310 David Koechner – History dork! TDF EP 268 Tammy Pescatelli – Thrift stores and Vampires TDF EP 279 Brian Kiley – Presidential Biographic Minutia TDF EP 285 Ian Abramson – McDonald’s Land TDF EP 316 Breanna Conley – Old time Photo Booth collecting 2015 another 12 that I picked: TDF EP 329 Robert Hurt – Space Ships TDF EP 321 Ryan Stout – Injustice. AS USUAL. TDF EP 324 Suzy Soro – Ghosts. TDF EP 313 Danielle Radford – great “bad” movies TDF EP 305 Murray Valeriano & Monty Franklin – Surfin. TDF EP 269 Christian Brown, Roselle Hurley and Andy Ashcraft - LARPing TDF EP 271 Bridget Everett - Barry Manilow, Richard Simmons & Rudy TDF EP 273 Sean Crespo – DUNE TDF EP 284 Brian Upton - history and aesthetics of gaming TDF EP 293 Live at Bridgetown Branum, Kilgariff and Preston (Bandcamp) TDF EP 300 Amy Shira Teitel – SPACE TDF EP 325 Gail Carriger Live in SF – Anglophile. (Bandcamp)

2014 TDF EP 259 – Laraine Newman - Dubstep TDF EP 245 – Brittnee Braun - Cosplay TDF EP 249 – Brian Regan – Line Mentality TDF EP 215 – Robert Hack – Doctor Who TDF EP 264 – Joseph Scrimshaw – Star War Prequels TDF EP 227 – Emily Gordon – Breakfast around the world TDF EP 239 – Rhea Butcher – Back to the Future Movies TDF EP 260 – Jimmy Pardo – Chicago (the band) TDF EP210 – Corey Olsen – Tolkien TDF EP 258 – Emily Heller – ESM & HS Debate

2013 TDF EP 177 - Greg Proops - Ancient History TDF EP 172 – Janeane/Bamford - Beading/SuzeOrman TDF EP198 – Live Podfest w Kilgariff/Bamford/Anthony/Valeriano - Salad TDF EP 189 – Moshe Kasher - Religion TDF EP 199 – Michelle McNamara - True Crime TDF EP 203 – Ryan Stout - Traffic Court

TDF EP 150 – Gina Yashere - Ghosts/Elevators TDF EP 151 – Craig Shoemaker - Wizard of Oz TDF EP 207 – Matt Mira - James Bond TDF EP 167 – David Huntsberger - Horses TDF EP 200 – Andy Peters/Mike Schmidt - Wrestling TDF EP 190 – Cameron Esposito - Lesbians TDF EP 202 – Matt Weinhold/Dana Gould/ Shawn Sheridan - Halloween

2012 TDF EP 129 – Live with Michelle McNamara (True Crime) TDF EP 111 – Jim Gaffigan (obscure news personality) TDF EP 117 – Corey Olsen (TolkienProf) TDF EP 142 – Live with Retta, Rajskub, Kilmartin and Scovel TDF EP 94 – Mary Jo Pehl (reading and writing and more reading) TDF EP 133 – Kira Soltonovich (Korean Spas) TDF EP 113 – Jesse Schell and Andy Ashcraft (oh. Video Games) TDF EP 98 – Henry Phillips and Mike Phirman (Guitar Comedy and Music) TDF EP 139 – Joel Hodgson (ventriloquism) TDF EP 93 – Live with Ernie Cline (the 80s and Ready Player One) TDF EP 102 – Dan Telfer (Dinosaurs and science in general) TDF EP 108 – Al Madrigal (Sales and Cartoons) TDF EP 148 – Guy Branum - Canada TDF EP 95 – Live with Kevin Eastman (ninja turtles) TDF EP 97 – Rose Abdoo and John Matta (tiny tiny ART! And The Thing) TDF EP 99 – Asterios Kokkinos (Pokemon) TDF EP 100 – PF Wilson – (history of the various football leagues) TDF EP 103 – Live with Andy Kindler (“indie” comic books) TDF EP 104 – Merrill Markoe (I feel like we talked dogs mostly) TDF EP 110 – Patrick Brady (animation) TDF EP 120 – Erin Foley (NY Giants) TDF EP 121 – Tom Franck (Art) TDF EP 130 – Lois McMaster Bujold (I dork out AT her. She talks writing) TDF EP 138 – Michael Everson (coding fonts for obscure languages)

2011 # 55 Greg Proops – Making Baseball interesting # 67 Hardwick/Palascak – Harry Potter # 37 Karen Kilgariff - Sandra Bullock # 16 Dana Gould – Planet of the Apes # 48 Aisha Tyler – girl on girl fandom # 24 Jen Kirkman/ Karen Rontowksi – ghosts/UFO # 49 Dana/James - HOLLYWOOD # 40 April/Vargus – TRIP TO MIDDLE EAST # 3 Madigan/Kilmartin – the KENNEDY’S #42 Maile Flanagan/Yuri Lowenthal - Animation #50 Michelle McNamara – True Crime #30 Ed Brubaker / Kermet Apio – Comics #14 Thrilling Adventure Hour – so many things Origin Story – #69 Andy Origin Story - #71 Maria #73 Rich Sommer – Mad Men and Boardgames #77 Matt Weinhold/Ken Daly – Horror Movies #82 Chad Daniels/David Huntsberger – just hilarious #80 Bengt Washburn – Fine art #51 Andrew Solmssen - IT #28 Eric Drysdale - VIEWMASTER #58 Bees – uh, BEES #63 Perfume – and, PERFUME #44 Jim Coughlin – A4 Paper #91 Trains!

NOTE Premium eps w/o iTunes: Here’s how to download albums from Bandcamp:

1. Download the .zip file from Bandcamp. 2. Unzip the file to your Music folder. 3. Rescan your Music folder. 4. Open the music app and listen to your tunes.

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jackiekashian · 1 year

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Hiring a Comedian for your function

Andy showed me this article about some comic who did an LA County Sheriff’s Luncheon for “600 or 700 people.“ : http://www.salon.com/2013/07/26/sheriffs_department_in_hot_water_over_race_jokes/

Andy suggested that, since people DO NOT KNOW how to book comedians at professional and business events that I write up a quick reference guide. I laughed and laughed. It’s hard to get people to read my contract when they’re paying me.

But, sure… here’s some basics. Grandma Kashian’s guide to Hiring a Comedian for your function:

Let’s start with

“What the comic will Need” to go on stage with a happy outlook:

1. KNOWLEDGE, within an hour of sitting around time, Of WHEN THEY WILL GO ON STAGE. (Dinner is at 7, awards at 8, comic at 830 - give or take a half hour… so the comic should be at venue by 730/45 so up by 9pm). 2. A place to park. 3. A place to hide/chill out before the show: A small room off the banquet hall/showroom would be great. With some water/sodas in it is sweet. It’s NICE of you to offer the comic a meal before the show but some comics don’t eat before shows and almost none of them want to, nervously, sit around with the people they will be performing for, BEFORE the show. Any meet/greet should be AFTER the show. 4. A bottle of water/soda for before and/or during the show. 5. A MICROPHONE and stand on the “stage.“ NOT a podium. Never a podium. Comedy is not a podium activity. 6. A stool or tiny table, on the stage, to PUT said water/soda. 7. SOMEONE to Introduce the comic. Short, sweet, succinct.

Now… You want to hire a Comedian. First and foremost, lady who is in charge of finding a comic that appeals to 700 politically, ethically, and religiously disparate individuals, YOU are fucked. If you go too “dumb/simple” you lose all cred as a “fun party lady" … if you go blue or dark… you get an article about you in the LA Times. If you don’t want to PAY the comic… you get a beautiful trifecta of blue, dumb and lame.

So here’s the best suggestions to protect yourself and troubleshoot your choice:

1. PAY THE COMIC. The LOWEST amount of money, for a comic with NO CREDITS/FAME/SENSEOFWORTH is $1-$5 a person attending. (plus air/hotel and ground travel if the event is out of town). For people with one of the things listed above it’s $5-$10 a person attending your event. The more well-known a comic people, think more along the lines of $40-$100 per person. If the people that booked Edwin San Juan for the Sheriff’s luncheon (a third party to my knowledge) did not pay him $600-$3000, as I have never heard of him, then they deserve what they got. You get what you pay for. A comic making money works to make sure everyone is happy. A comic working for beer and dinner MIGHT want to have more fun than you. Make a note.

2. ALERT the people attending: Comedy is an ADULT sport. The comedian will be as clean as you want, but you have to tell them. Basic “corporate dress" for comics at these events is, what is called, “TV Clean.” Cable/Primetime. Some swearing (not the f-word and, certainly not a joke using the N-word… Jesus Edwin. And sometimes not Jesus ;) is “TV clean.“ TOPICS are going to be adult. Not graphic description of sexual acts but… adult topics. If the people attending are hot house flowers… WARN them. They are not seeing a children’s show. Private shows are different than going to a comedy club with your friends and spouses. We should all understand that. But tell the comic what you like or hate. Hopefully you’ve done some research so you know what kind of comedian you’re getting. on that note:

3. Pick a comic that you like several of the samples you saw. Get their album. What the heck. Do some research. Watch a lot of YouTube videos. But with a grain of salt.

If the video you are watching is set in a club, and you like the majority of the jokes but the comic is swearing and working on their rape chunk, know that that is NOT what they’re going to do for you. You can even tell them that. Because comics are people with brains attached to their mouths. Especially if you state clearly, “No f-word. No rape jokes. Adult topics I get… try to keep the racial and sexual stereotypes to a minimum. This is an event for DOLE… try not to go too deeply into the betrayal of Liliuokalani,” or whatever.

lastly:

4. You THINK you want the comic to do 60 minutes of comedy. You do NOT. Think about how long these people have been hanging around this night. They work together all week. Or… their boss is sitting right there, WATCHING how many glasses of wine they’re drinking…

The crowd has had a. before dinner drinkds/hor d’ourvres. b. dinner c. an awards/chatty magoo session celebrating their work and, finally, d. some entertainment. NO more than 40min. My contract says I will do 40-60 min “depending on what the market will bear" (see what I did there? That’s FUNNY… a capitalism joke for the corporate types). You do the 40… you get the hell off - unless the comic IS having the time of their lives. In which case, everyone is pleased anyway.

and again: 5. PAY THE COMIC. In my contract I insist on “check in hand" before I go on stage. Why? Call it superstition from the 90’s when I had to fight with bookers to pay me… Call it I want to finish my set and be able to leave after a SHORT time of meet and greet, not waiting for you to sober up enough to “find" my check. I get paid before I get up to quell MY nerves of WHEN I will get paid. Everyone is constantly telling me that I’m so brave to do standup… well, getting paid before is my kevlar. I get a check to be reminded why I’m at your luncheon, you give me a check to remind me that you value my work. If you hate it after… cancel the check. But I’m doing the job. Pay me.

Well. That was long and cathartic. I should probably read it before I post it. But I’m not going to. There.

I don’t know how to respond to comments on tumblr…but I bet clowns would appreciate this too! Heh. ;)

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jackiekashian · 1 year

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youtube

Here’s the special / album that is only on youtube, amazon and applemusic. It’s got ads on the video… you CAN buy the DVD on jackiekashian.com

#jackie kashian #comedy #standup comedy #youtube #amazonmusic #apple music

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jackiekashian · 2 years

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still true

Shooting Women

#yesallwomen I did a standup show at isla vista UCSB one week to the day before the guy shot up the town. There was shock and the guy’s crazy “reasoning” came out and women EVERYWHERE just started pointing out the obvious things that women live with that men don’t and haven’t even thought about. The hundreds of decent men I know, personally, are shocked and made aware of these things. They are sad about what they are learning, but they are learning it. There are millions of decent men, who I don’t know, who are learning these things and talking about how to help make everyone’s experience slightly better. And there are the guys who can’t hear it. Which, when no one is attacking them specifically, there are only a couple reasons a person couldn’t acknowledge a common experience that is being shared from millions of women. There are amazing things being pointed out that are just a part of a regular day in being a human female. I don’t think about it much, it’s all automatic now. The examples listed are great, but I was reminded of the low level, constant awareness of my surroundings, constant placating of some men, constant ignoring of sexual comments from some men, and a constant answering of inappropriate questions at work and in social situations about relationships, plans for relationships, children, sex and wardrobe choices. #yesallwomen isn’t about OTHER discussions that need to be had…gun safety and mental illness. (We are living in the first 40 pages of Watership Down here, folks). #yesallwomen means; Every woman. Your mom, your sister, your girlfriend, the lady at Starbucks. Women wearing clothes, women not wearing clothes. Women covered because of conservative religious beliefs and an eleven year old girl wearing her brother’s football jersey. And, yes, even me. I’m not Helen of Troy over here. I’ve never been the woman that nations fight wars about. I’ve looked like some version of what I look like now since I was 16. track 3: “If you miss YOUR mom, I’ll hug you.” I’m no tiny, fairy beauty that infuriates a particular kind of man into feeling that women are “teases” and “bitches.” But I, too, have been belittled verbally and physically attacked for no other reason I can think of except that I’m the woman standing in front of these guys. I worked three summers in a gay resort town of Provincetown, MA at a footlong hotdog stand (1989joke: “put a condiment on that” killed with drunk gay guys). We had two 15 yr old guys filling the sodas and they had grown up in p-town. They hated gay guys. Because there are some gay guys who treat men like some straight guys treat women. Hitting on them, trying to flirt when it’s clear that it isn’t working. The women who worked at the hotdog stand explained to these young men that that’s how women live their lives. I do a bit on my new album (“98% of Men” out last month and available from amazon and iTunes ;) http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00IV8K7C4/ref=dm_ws_tlw_trk11) about how I know the majority of the people on this planet are good (and 2% of the people, men and women, are broken… so live a little defensively, but not crazy defensive, like Nancy Grace wants you to). I’ve “not been killed” a half dozen times by guys that were annoyed but took no as a complete sentence. But there is no award for not being horrible. Because you took no for an answer, because you didn’t rape someone, because you didn’t shake your baby when it wouldn’t shut up isn’t a reason to have a trophy made. So when I heard what some men are saying, I was confused. I was confused at the men that ARE taking these comments personally… saying that, because women are pointing out how their lives exist, that “women hate all men.” Then these gentlemen also insist that a specific statement such as “a man that kills women hates women” is “too sweeping.” I have thought about all of this as I’ve watched the conversation wash over me. And I have a theory about where it’s coming from: The guys that take all these things as personal attacks; “you’re lumping us all together” you’re insisting on “collective guilt,” feel attacked because they FEEL guilty - EVEN IF THEY’VE DONE NOTHING.

1. There are men that feel they SHOULD have been doing something and are mad at their own lack of Superpowers. 2. Worse, there are men that HAVE done something…if only creep on women … and feel like they’re being called on it. And they are. This is a call to stop it. Just…stop it. It’s not okay. It’s not funny. It’s not effective. It’s bad. Stop it. 3. Or, and this could be anyone of us, and it takes a grown adult of any gender to admit it, there are men that have stood by. I am not the hero of this story. I’ve stood by. I’ve let men say things to other women around me…and not spoke up. I’ve let racism be spoken around me and not spoke up. I’ve let people be mean to their kids…smacking an ear in public mean…and said nothing. Hell, I’ve let men say and elbow squeeze ME and not said anything.

I’ve stood by. I once didn’t help a man who was a. Either being mugged or b. Using the words, “someone’s chasing me” as a ploy to get into a locked corridor I was in. I’ll never know if that guy got hurt because I couldn’t trust enough to help him…but I was scared it was a ploy to get into the safety of the apartment I was house sitting at 12:30am in NYC. I know, in my head, that I made the choice to make sure I was safe. But I still feel like I was a coward. And I still think about it. But sometimes I’m afraid of the confrontation. Of the argument. Of not having the words or the physical strength to back up my convictions. I hate getting hit. But, sometimes, I still think I’m going to get hit. And no one has hit me in years. And I’ve only had to get walked to my car after a show twice in the last ten years. So, these are residual fears that still affect my life. I’ve made peace with the fact that I have been cowardly in the past. And I’ve realized that I will not always be brave. But, dammit, I try. The way I live now is not from a place of guilt but from a place of responsibility. We all, as people taking part in our collective social contract, have a responsibility to each other. Each to our abilities and willingness to find the courage to stand up to …whatever you want to call them; bullies, crazies (both male and female) or the clinically insane …I call them assholes. I don’t do it every time, even now. It’s the kind of thing that takes practice; for me, I have to practice not BEING an asshole, as well as not allowing it AROUND me. I have to remind myself that standing up to assholes is a confrontation I do not want to have but I have to find the willingness to have. And I’m still judgmental and snappish and, so, not a fucking saint either. So I’ve got plenty of work to do. But I work on being willing to do that work. Maybe it’s because I do standup and the underdog is always the hero in my eyes. The person to whom no tout in the world would suggest you put your money on… Women, Children, various non-white ethnic groups, the handicapped, the insane, the homeless…even a white guy with a shitty haircut…these are the people that comedy comes from, in my life. Fish don’t think about water, they just live their lives in it. So this hashtag thing just reminds us, to each other, that we aren’t alone, or crazy for not being cool with it. And everyone’s life is in a water we can’t know, without comedy. Comedy gives us a glimpse into other waters. Other people’s families, other people’s jobs, other people’s lives. It takes us all swimming in a lake of Native American rage or an Arkansas off-the-grid lifestyle. (What are those people hiding from?) When a comedian or a book or a show reveals to me a world I have never thought about or realized existed …I am briefly ashamed that I never saw it, and then I laugh. At all of us. Let’s all work on telling assholes to shut up as well as not being assholes ourselves.

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jackiekashian · 2 years

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Dork Forest Cheat Sheet 2022

The votes are in for 2021!

This is a list of Episode Numbers - Guest Name - Dorkdom. I take votes for faves of the year and then add a couple for variety of topics that I really thought were fun. ALL THE EPS have something for someone and are great but here is a starter list if you’re thinking to start listening to TDF and are not a numerologist completest.

Note: show’s been going since 2006 but I’ve only been surveying since 2011. The show is on all the platforms. Pandora, Spotify, YouTube. Start here if you like: www.dorkforest.com . Standup info and other podcast is at www.jackiekashian.com

2021

NOTE Premium eps w/o iTunes: Here’s how to download albums from Bandcamp:

1. Download the .zip file from Bandcamp. 2. Unzip the file to your Music folder. 3. Rescan your Music folder. 4. Open the music app and listen to your tunes.

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jackiekashian · 3 years

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This was ambitious - still in my garage if you need a shirt :)

Okay. I haven’t had the energy to ask vilmos rearrange the merch page on jackiekashian.com (OH I KNOW… he’s doing the real work). But here are the tshirts - feel FREE - if you WANT one (make sure you GET one since im bringing them on the road in the next month and they MIGHT be sold out) (and are not coming to see me in the next month - Vermont, Chicago, SF and Indiana) - Order ANY shirt on jackiekashian.com - in the NOTES tell me what you want. heh. fun game right? it’ a lot of work for both of us. :) [email protected] for questions.

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jackiekashian · 3 years

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Dork Forest 2011-2020 Cheat Sheet

The votes are in for 2020!

NOTE Premium eps w/o iTunes: Here’s how to download albums from Bandcamp:

1. Download the .zip file from Bandcamp. 2. Unzip the file to your Music folder. 3. Rescan your Music folder. 4. Open the music app and listen to your tunes.

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