itstooearlyforthisbish
All I Need is Black, White and Arial
This is my personal journal. I am an entrepreneur; I am a woman; I am a recovering addict of sex and sustantances; I am also recovering from having disordered eating. I started this blog in 2011 (I think) and it's not going anywhere. I however, am.
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Day 93/365: It's been too long
Where does one even begin?
In the begininnig...
I'll be back, swear.
Also, if baldy comes back... we shall have a date this week, wahlahi...
I don't even know where all these men popped out from...
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Day 32/365: Not me catching a fish from a group chat
In my personal opinion... I don't have high hopes, but we'll see, innit. Like... a trip to Miami is really not that expensive I've come to realize. Anyway, let me get into it. I posted on the Whatsapp group for sailors on our cruise that I was disappointed that I didn't find my husband.
This former military man sent me two voicenotes, essentially shooting his shot. I didn't like how he brought up that I'm business minded twice, and that he added a DP and posted a screenshot of the upcoming movie, One Love, the biopic of Bob Marley on his Whatsapp status. From his voice though, he sounds very sincere and like a guy who is really looking for love.
But bro... I don't know. These things - to me - are a bit of a... I forgot. I anycase, I don't see there being anything to pursue here. I can tell he's more interested in me than I am in him.
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Him
U want something and then when u get it it’s like omg………… I’m scared
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Day 15/365: I'm taking the plunge... I'm starting to rebuild my personal brand this week.
I don't know where this power came from all of a sudden. I think it was prayer this morning. Just, giving my day to God. I need to find the proper affirmation. And, I want to pull my girls in more, deepen these relationships and fly high on my career... Which, I don't even know what I want out of it. I love the stability, I love the money. I love getting out of the house.
Will share more later. Going to have the meal from last time and read... Yeah.
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Day 12/365: Today, has been - and is - a great day
Will talk more when I get home.
Next week, we're on the seas!!!
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Day 8/365: Open the floodgates of heaven
Day 1, Week 1 without a job that literally was sucking my life and my soul out of me.
Day 1 of me building my career as a software engineer. Seeing people make $300k in 4-5 years... definitely changed my perspective. It means that what I want, what I'm going for... is not fake, or unheard of or like impossible. The first guy in my friends IG share made the exact amount that I wanted: $350,000... I want that.
How do I get there? That's the question... I'm not sure I want to work in a FAANG... maybe as a contractor or something, I don't know. Just to say that I did it, especially as a software engineer.
Anyway, I think my cold is getting better? My nose is still sensitive AF, which is annoying. Flu shot me, all the shots for me ASAP. I'm taking NO CHANCES. Fuck, I think I'm going to get my 3rd C19 shot as well, who knows... who knows...
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Day 7/365: Happy Happy Happy
I quit. They let me go. I hate that I had to tell a fabulous lie, but I plan to use this time to batch content, gain a certification, and plan out my 2024. I'm feeling to do a budget trip to like, somewhere hot or something. Like, be in a hostel, only take a carry on, eat local food etc. It looks so fun!
Ultimately, I'm thinking of my next solo trip and especially, my next birthday trip. I want to make $100,000 next year. Whether at my new job, or another place. I want to hit that mark again. I want the CompTIA, just because and I'm working on my cloud certification right now. I wish I knew what direction I could go in and what my strengths are in this new territory. I'll be also making my new vision board, with ole boy on there, for sure 😊 We're locked in, like a booty hole.
Feeling to weigh, but feel it's unnecessary
I made stew last night and it's divine. Very rich, very tasty. The only thing I didn't like is how the beef didn't have or develop much flavor. It also felt dry to me. Like I overcooked it. It might have been better in soup tbh. Which I'll be making some of today with the leftover of my Dad's/stepmoms soup. Which was very tasty with rice.
My rice cooker is amazing 😋 I love having rice on standby, even if it is a shit tone of calories 😔 Yeah... All is well, by His grace. Where am I going to church today? That is the question ⁉️
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Day 5/365: Tonight, I quit my old job
I should have quit back in 2023. But here we are. I'm a contractor, international at that. I pray it goes well and smoothly. I didn't send an invoice for 2023 because well... I didn't work, and that's the truth. This lie, was unnecessary. I should have just quit back then. But here we are, now. I'd rather struggle through this now, at least I have something to look forward to at my new job. I don't even mind coming in everyday. It's work that I enjoy, like and can see myself growing in.
I'll bring up the courage tonight. God go with me.
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Day 3/365: I'm feeling hungry and... relatively calm?
Maybe its age, or maybe its just facing what's in front of me. I don't know. But I feel good. I would have liked to have showered and eaten before this, however, I sent out that proposal pretty good and I must say, I handled it pretty well.
Are los drugas working? We'll have to wait and see! Ok, I have a transman coming to my apartment at 1:30pm. It'll be cool to get this post out of the way by then WITH the manager of my choice. So. That's the plan right now. I'm not sure if I should shower first, then get this done, or what, but I want to tackle it first, so that I can desensitise myself to the whole process. Really leaning into the *I'm sick cough* and new year to get sympathy and more time. The fact is... it's alot of fucking work... and it's tedious, and boring and repetitive...
Anyway... 3 months to goooo
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I'm in the mood... for money, and work, and green tea
The tea was necessary.
I'm using my new Ember mug. So far, so good. I think I've found the right temperature for it (50 degrees), to be honest. But then again, a part of me is like, doesn't a regular like travel mug do the same thing? I dunno, I feel like my Costco mug... I hate the color OMG. Of all the colors, Sage Green?! I literally, cannot stand the color green, or orange. Funny enough, my brother's favorite colors... Ugh. It would be DOPE if it were white, or black. BUT I checked that shit online... firstly, it's $199.99 CAD. I wanted to use Mel's code for 20% off, which would have made it the same price as the one in Costco. But the shipping was $10 (not bad) and the code didn't work in Canada, which was annoying. Or, maybe it didn't work for the product I wanted.
In anycase, I now am carrying around a green mug. I love how it keeps stuff the perfect temperature though. I'm totally travelling with it. Well, probably not but like, when/if I go places to work, I'd bring it with me. The only thing I don't like, is how it dies after an hour not on the charging station, which I found to be a bit annoying. I thought it'd last way longer than that, but here we are.
I need my period to come early and I need this cold to FULLY go away. I don't want to be sick - or get sicker - while travelling. Furthermore, I don't want to be dirty and unclean when travelling with someone. Like, I don't want to leave a pad in the bathroom. I PRAY WE GET A FREE UPGRADE, PLEASE LORD PLEASEEEE!! That'll be amazing!!
But yeah, anyway... Let's get this work on sha!
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Day 2/365: Zoloft Diaries - Day 1 Round Up
Woke up with some cramping and abdominal pain. Especially on the right lower side.
Another day waking up with no morning thoughts or worry, just calm. Stomach had MAD nausea that wouldn't go away with Pepto. Filled/filling pantyliners after taking medication for BV, which is annoying. A clear mind. Hm.
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Things I Accomplished in 2023
I thought I did one some years ago, but can't be assed to find it and actually copy the template. So now, I'm just going to make a long list of all the good things that I achieved, last year.
Travelled by train to Ottawa... thrice
Stayed in a Sonder
Went on multiple solo dates: movies, dinner, art gallery etc.
Travelled to NYC, a bucket list item
Took a picture of the Wall Street Bull - Charging Bull
Ate bagels in NYC
Saw the Statue of Liberty
Took photos in Grand Central Terminal
Took photos on the Brooklyn Bridge
Visited SoHo in NYC
Took a photo on Carrie Bradshaw's stoop
Visited Greenwich Village in NYC
Ate at a famous NYC steakhouse, CUT by Wolfgang Puck
Took photos in and of Times Square
Took the Staten Island Ferry
Got diagnosed with... I actually do not remember lol
Went to therapy consistently
Travelled internationally to Jamaica
Drove across the border, multiple times
Got my first corporate job
Got health insurance benefits for the first time in my life
Passed an online tech bootcamp with 90%
Got multiple facials
Got my first custom wig (it sucks, but we move)
Saw Kaytranada LIVE
Went speed dating for the first time
Took sewing lessons
Bought myself flowers
Met the LOML
Completed three, massive, projects for the top-rated university in the country
Met with various dignitaries at the US Ambassador's picnic
Bought myself some really great shoes from Sam Edelman and New Balance
Bought myself the Charles and Keith Gabine bag
Got my first wax... hated it
Started pole dancing classes
Started whitening my teeth
Stayed in multiple hotels
Walked in an ocean
Flew business class
Started seeing a dermatologist
Started my tret journey
Got eyelash extensions... hated them... again
Went water river rafting in Jamaica
Had crab cakes... didn't like them
Took pictures with palm trees
Took an etiquette class
Bought more books this year
Had afternoon tea with my dad
Reignited my relationship with my mum, uncle, and aunt
Went to visit Mennonite country
Passed not one BUT TWO background and financial checks!
Made some new friends and acquaintences
Took photos on the steps of the MET
Visited the Temple of Dendur
Started hiking/joined a hiking club
Went to the Nike Innovation store
Had birthday cake at Tiffany's
Visited Central Park
Visited 5th Avenue
Took the NYC subway AND bus
Had a birthday photoshoot
Saw my favorite artists - Keith Haring - and his exhibit
Went to the spa several times
I went to a party/kickback/house party
Flew on a plane... several times
Took photos in Washington Square
Visited St. Patrick's Cathedral
Tooks photos with the Rockefeller tree
Visited the Bryant Park Christmas Village
Visited the Oculus... found it to be very disrespectful
Took photos of the Plaza Hotel
Took photos of the NYSE
Saw Handel's Messiah with the New York Philharmonic Orchestra
Went to the New York Public Library
Visited the world's largest Macy's
Experienced real turbulence... it wasn't that bad
Found a hair vendor for my wigs, bundles and closures
Started taking medicine for BV
Paid off one of my government debts IN FULL
God is amazing. That's the byword for this year. God is amazing.
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Day 361/365: Four days till go! Also, therapy is going great
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Day 318/365: Therapy, was helpful, albeit I wasn't completely there.
I think, yesterday it dawned on me that...
I totally forgot what I was going to say.
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