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itsblackmary · 3 months

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When Faced with Darkness

➪the one where you and anakin reunite years after he turned to the dark side.

Warnings: angst, that’s really it, anakin being manipulative, just a short fic because i was feeling inspired to write something like this

Word Count: 1.2k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡ Thank you for 3.3k follwers MWAH

“Call out to me,” you hear his unmistakable voice say again. You glanced around at your surroundings, finding nothing but the emptiness of your old room at the temple. Your old shared room, the one you hid away in with Anakin. That room had long since been destroyed, so you couldn’t quite figure out how you were back in it, or question where all the furniture went before he spoke again. “Let me in. Call out to me, angel.”

Angel.

Your heart faltered at the name and you peered out into the darkness, seeing nothing at all, but feeling that he was close by. Anakin. “Come to me,” you requested in a quiet voice, his presence growing stronger with each passing second. “Come find me.”

Though your words were faint, they echoed around the room and called back to you as a tall figure emerged from the shadows a few steps away. “I’ve found you,” he spoke and you turned around quickly, your eyes meeting his almost immediately.

His voice was a mix of himself and someone else, but his appearance was exactly what you remembered it looking like. The scar on his cheek, the flow of his hair, his teasing smirk, everything. “Anakin,” you murmured, a grin breaking out on your lips as he inched closer, his head tilted as he, too, observed you. “Is it…is it really you?”

He stepped towards you, a hum bubbling in the back of his throat as he held his hands behind his back. “Who else would it be?” He teased in his soft yet enticing voice.

It never failed to draw you into him.

Maybe that is why you were here now, because you weren’t as strong as you needed to be. Not when it came to him.

It looked like him, sounded like him, even felt like him, but Anakin is gone. He’s been gone for a long time now, and what replaced him was a darkness that even the brightest star couldn’t shine through.

Still, you couldn’t help but let yourself fall into a state of denial, wishing that this was real, that he was back and was as desperate for you as you were for him. It wasn’t hard, seeing as he looked the exact same as before, just more stoic. More dark and intimidating than he had ever appeared in all the years you’d known him.

“I’m not sure,” you answered honestly, watching as he walked around you in slow circles, his eyes raking up and down your form as if he was trying to remember how you looked under your gown and robe. “I’m not sure what’s real anymore.”

Anakin stopped in front of you, his smirk fading into a teasing smile as his gloved hand reached for your wrist. “Look around you,” he softly ordered, watching as you obeyed him without any hesitation. You were still his obedient, sweet girl. “This is our room, isn’t it? The one we shared together.”

“I don’t know,” you shook your head quickly. The room was the same, but it was just empty, so void of love and care and secrecy. You couldn’t bear to think about the last time you were in this room, back when you were at your happiest and had everything to look forward to.

Back when Anakin was still here and hadn’t given himself up. When he didn’t let himself slip further and further to a one way destination.

But he was here, right in front of you and giving you the same look he always did when you weren’t feeling like yourself and needed comfort. It was the same look, but it wasn’t him.

You hadn’t even noticed that piece by piece, the furniture began to fill the room, mirroring the way it looked before.

Your head felt like it was spinning, but Anakin’s grip on you tightened to ensure you wouldn’t fall. “Now look at me,” he quietly demanded. “Look at me.”

“It’s not real,” you admitted to yourself, despite your heart screaming at you, begging you to give in and let him do whatever he wanted to you. This was better than not having him at all. “It’s not…”

But he hushed you, “Y/n,” he spoke sternly, that same, much deeper voice from before creeping back in alongside his own. You hadn’t heard him say your name in so long, you had almost forgotten what it sounded like. “Look. Look at me.”

You always were weak when it came to him. Lifting your head, you meet his eyes, briefly glancing into the ones of a sith before you let yourself drown in the orbs of blue. Releasing a long sigh of relief, you let your tense body relax under his gaze, rendering yourself to him almost completely.

“Good. That’s good,” he praised, keeping his hand wrapped around your wrist as he moved it upwards. Placing your palm flat against the left side of his chest, his burning gaze never faltered as he pressed himself against your hand. “Feel me. Feel that I am here, with you, in our own room.”

Your head told you to pull away and run for the nearest exit, but you couldn’t see anything past all the shadows. All you could see is the apparition of your lover, who you lost ages ago. “Anakin,”

“Feels right, doesn’t it?” He asked, a small, barely there hint of mockery in his tone as he removed his hand from around your wrist and allowed you to keep your own pressed against his heart. “Feels just like before.”

You stifle a surprised cry, looking up at him with watery eyes. “Why are you here? Why now?”

His expression softened, but it was just an act. A way to tear your walls down and rip apart the growth and healing you’ve endured since losing him. You should, but you can’t bring yourself to push him away. You can’t bring yourself to not give in to him. “Because you needed me,” he answered simply. “Because you still need me.”

You shake your head but don’t pull away when he places his hands on your hips. The coolness of his glove sends a shiver up your spine, a repressed groan of longing slipping past your lips.

“And I still need you,” he added, daring to step closer to you and successfully invading your space. He made it his own as he reached his left hand up to caress the side of your face. “We’re one in the same, angel. We always have been.”

A shaky sigh leaves your mouth before he is covering it with his own. His lips envelop yours softly at first, but the gentle kiss grows stronger, a certain sinister feeling slipping from him to you, but you don’t pull away.

You grip his shoulder and cry a call of his name when he breaks the kiss. “Anakin,”

He grins down at you, a wicked and twisted sight right before your very eyes. “I know,” he consoles, pressing a firm kiss to your forehead and gripping the sides of your face much tighter than before, but it only leaves you wanting more.

How unfortunate of you to be so weak when faced with the embodiment of true darkness.

“I know,” he repeats his words, sliding his hands down so they’re pressing against the base of your throat. “Now, give in to me.”

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itsblackmary · 3 months

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spare me this - anakin skywalker

pairing: anakin skywalker + reader

summary: the council assigns you on a deathly solo mission, forbidding anakin to join you.

warnings: angst (i don’t know what is wrong with me!! i am addicted to writing it now), mentions of injury and death, anakin is so sweet and sosososo in love it’s almost pitiful, fluff

a/n: i feel like i put a part of my soul in this. i feel so drained but finishing this feels SO rewarding. another day for firsts! this is my first time writing for anakin, or anything star wars related :) this has been sitting in my drafts for MONTHS. i figured, while i still feel motivated to write, let me finish this!!! hope you all enjoy <3 i loved writing it

“three days.” you repeated faintly.

you disliked how quiet anakin was at times. it often left you more troubled than relaxed.

you frowned when he didn’t look at you from his stubborn stare at the ceiling. sighing softly, you mimicked his eyes and looked upwards, your neck rested against the headboard of the bed.

“we will come back victorious, and we will be right here. together again.”

the night before your mission’s departure, you slept in anakin’s room. it would have been much easier to ignore him, act like he didn’t exist for a while. the two of you were far too dependent on one another. the love sometimes felt overwhelming.

however, anakin’s fear was far too evident. it was strong - too strong to the point where you genuinely believed someone else could detect it. you decided that if you could soothe his worries, he’d be relieved of his thoughts.

but anakin didn’t speak. he refused, and his body simply forbid him from trying. not a touch or word was directed at you. it had almost been an hour of pure silence.

unbeknownst to you, there was a helpless feeling of uncertainty that anakin could clearly sense from you. that was what was driving him crazy.

bloodshed was a promise, you already knew it. your master had spoken grimly about the mission, and it was anakin who realized - much quicker than you - that this battle would not end seamlessly.

there was a large, if not, inevitable chance of you coming back alarmingly injured.

you were calculated, strong, and reliable. it was you who the council had chosen to lead the mission.

they were selfish, anakin believed.

“obi-wan knows this will kill me.”

anakin bleakly spoke, his voice muffled by the blanket he had brought up to his face. you decided against expressing your surprise to the sound of his voice.

while obi-wan had no idea about the true nature of your relationship with anakin, he was aware that you served as each other’s weaknesses. jedi code called for the banishment of any attachments, though obi-wan knew he himself had begun to break them when he started to form a brotherly bond with his once-padawan. he held no room for judgement.

while you hadn’t spent nearly as much time with him as anakin had, you felt very fond of him. there was a certain soothing atmosphere that only seemed to arrive in his presence.

secretly, obi-wan had pulled you aside mere hours after your mission was announced. his voice was low as he spoke, and he had gently held your arm the entire time.

“you come back within your scheduled arrival, and everything will be fine. i cannot promise you we will be at ease if you take longer.”

and, of course, through unknowing ears this was a simple comment - a statement of encouragement, really. but it was a completely different story when you could see the true intentions in his words.

anakin would not be at ease, is what he had wanted to say.

and obi-wan was right. from the moment you explained your mission to anakin, he had gone silent. you had been in your room, slowly walking in circles as you counted the tasks you were required to fulfill on your journey.

you hadn’t noticed how awfully pale your jedi had become.

now in present, you realized he had never left his stage of shock.

anakin hated this. he hated how guilty he felt for the resentment he had towards your capabilities. you had impressed the council too much, and it had put you in a dangerous position. he hated how careless you tried to sound, and he hated how you only gave the reply of “yes, master” when being told the instructions of your suicide mission. most importantly, he hated how he was forbidden to join you.

“how do i live? how do i function when you could be dead at any moment?”

you froze, eyes widening.

anakin’s words were cold, and you fought the urge to feed into his frighteningly grim thoughts.

pursing your lips briefly, you forced a smile, brushing back his hair from his forehead. anakin was laying on his back, eyes still narrow and focused upwards. you tried to keep the mood light, attempting to add a little amusement to calm the tense atmosphere his question had made.

“we’re both aware i’m capable enough to handle myself. i used to beat you during training, and i saved you from-“

your playful smile faded, and you gave up talking once you realized he had started to look up at you.

anakin knew you were strong. he didn’t need to hear your reassurance, especially when he knew even you were undoubtedly terrified.

for a while, he just stared at you. it wasn’t intimidating - he could never direct an emotion like that at you - but you felt exposed, almost as if you should shield your face.

anakin felt troubled, trying to piece together all his discomforting emotions clearly. to have you so close seemed to be a punishment. you shouldn’t be here. he shouldn’t be seeing the worry in your eyes, or watching the slight furrow of your brows. although, there was something so beautiful about your concern. he wasn’t made to feel these kinds of emotions, especially ones that one mere person could provide.

for a moment, he wished he didn’t know you. selfishly, he knew that would relieve him of the pain.

“anakin,”

his name that only ever sounded right when you said it.

“what’s the matter, ani?”

there were no protests made when you moved closer to him. the security and serenity he felt with your arms around him made it feel impossible to refuse.

anakin trusted you with his life. he’d give you his life in a heartbeat. he’d do anything for you. and yet - why couldn’t you help him believe you would be okay on this mission? it was cruel, picking on his one and only weakness. his heart, which you held so effortlessly. his mind consisted of you, you, you.

with a shaky sigh, he spoke.

“you’re scaring me.” he quietly admitted.

his eyes were glossy, nearing a depressive red. his stare was piercing. you weren’t sure you wanted his attention anymore.

confused, though mostly alarmed, you continued to look back at him. scaring him?

“you think you’re going to die, don’t you?”

your eyes widened, and suddenly you felt very vulnerable being in front of him.

“anakin - what?” you stumbled out, shaking your head in surprise. he couldn’t be serious. you attempted to talk, reassure him that you would be fine, but his gaze was unfocused. he didn’t want to listen to your futile words. anakin knew you better than anyone else.

“please, do not lie to me.” he whispered, and in that particular moment, you had never seen him so small. “spare me that.”

anakin skywalker, the reckless jedi who consistently charmed his way through trouble. someone who was so spontaneous, yet brilliant.

love kept him going. it wasn’t unrequited. he knew that more than anything. love got him up in the morning. love was adrenaline. love was everything and so much more.

he couldn’t bare losing it.

“i-“ you shook your head again, pausing briefly to lay beside him. a hand was placed on his cheek, and you caressed his face gently.

anakin’s eyes closed, and once more he felt a wave of anger pass through him. he hated the council, he hated the jedi. he hated everything to do with this. they were trying to take you from him. your sweet touches, your soft voice, your caring nature. he felt so bitter it hurt.

you pursed your lips, letting a sigh escape you.

“i will tell you this.“ you whispered, cupping a hand around his soft face. “i am scared. i act like i am not because that is what i must do.”

for the past couple of hours, anakin had assumed that hearing you admit your fear out loud would put his mind at ease. maybe, if you admitted you weren’t invincible, he could convince you to take extra care of yourself.

but your words had the opposite effect on him.

you were scared. and he wouldn’t be there to help.

“i cannot promise you i’ll be unscathed, anakin, but i can promise that i will come back to you.”

it took everything in you to not break in front of him.

you forbid him from continuing the conversation further after that.

when the morning you had dreaded arrived, you silently awaited for a signal on your commlink to commence your departure.

you had left anakin, quietly pleading for him to stay optimistic during your absence. he had helped you get dressed. his touch was like a feather, gently escorting you to a hell you could only hope would be generous to you.

weapons were hidden under your robes, as usual. two lightsabers, because you had learned from anakin years ago that an extra could never hurt.

you couldn’t help but wonder if he felt possibly felt guilty.

anakin had trained you, hoping that an increase in your skill would payoff on the battlefield to solely keep you safer when he wasn’t around.

but you had surpassed his expectations. and now, you were in this position.

it had been an honor to be praised so highly. though, you quickly found that, in reality, it was not something to completely look forward to. anakin’s worry being the main reason.

when your commlink finally sounds off, you waste no time in leaving.

three days, you had claimed to anakin.

when you finally return, a week had gone by.

and just like you had repeated to anakin so many times before - you were victorious.

though, not unscathed.

“medical-“ you breathed heavily, your hand glued to your side as you stepped out of your starfighter, your heart pounding in upmost fear as you realized your vision had begun to blur.

you couldn’t tell who grabbed you first. it wasn’t anakin, you knew that by muffled noise of calm reassurance. if anakin were here, he would have the entire building burned to the ground in seconds. if it weren’t for the excruciating pain you felt everywhere, you could have chuckled at the thought.

“requesting medical attention - yes, this is urgent.”

blinking as quickly as you could, which looked evidently labored, you watched as obi-wan spoke through his commlink.

yours had broken days ago, leaving you stranded with no communication. retreating was never an option in your mind, and you stupidly had fought until your mission had succeeded.

the consequences of your actions truly haunted you as you were lifted on to a table, the strong scent of medication telling you that, yes, your wound was as bad as it felt, if not worse.

and finally, the mask put over your mouth lulled you to a more painless state of sleep.

upon the first few seconds of opening your eyes, you tried to immediately close them again.

of course, anakin was right next to you.

you heard him jolt in his seat, repeatedly calling your name as if you would die if he stopped. his voice sounded hoarse. gently, you reached your arms out, silently begging for him to touch you. you needed his embrace. you can not have gone through all this effort for nothing. he was why you had tried so hard to survive. without a word, anakin complied to your silent request. his hands cupped your face, while yours did the same to him.

his chest was shaking with uneven breaths.

“i made it back - just like i said, right?” you spoke quietly, smiling through a wince. joking was never the way to handle serious situations with anakin, but fuck, you really couldn’t handle how broken he looked.

he didn’t smile. he hadn’t taken your eyes off of you, almost as if you would disappear the second he looked away.

“don’t ever do this to me again.”

you quickly stopped speaking at his tone. unstable and hurt. you can’t promise that to anakin. it would be selfish. you help people - your mission had hopefully saved thousands. what is one life to lose if it can save so many more? you’re skilled, why not use your potential for something extraordinary?

“leave the order with me.”

your eyes widen, bigger than you mean them to.

“i-i can’t do that.” you reply immediately, shaking your head in his gentle grasp. leaving the order was nearly unspoken of - all of these years training, dedicating your life - what would it have been for? you can’t leave. people need you - the galaxy needs you.

you would have anakin, but could you live with yourself? all these years, you’ve been taught to be selfless, so why is anakin proposing such an idea?

you’re sure he can see the conflict on your face.

“you almost died.”

his bluntness forces to you remember the stinging pain on your side. you shake your head.

“that’s a part of the job.” you speak firmly. “i would be injured a hundred times over if it meant someone won’t be.”

anakin immediately lets go of your face.

“listen to me,”

it’s nearly a full-body sob, and you watch as he stands straighter, attempting to compose himself.

you feel your heart drop to your stomach.

“you’re hurting me - i don’t care if i’m being selfish! i love you. i love you more than anything, and i know i cannot live without you.”

anakin skywalker’s love for you was almost pitiful. he himself nearly couldn’t stand it. how can one person cause so much heartache? why is it possible to care for someone as much as he does for you? his outburst was childish, and he’s aware. but he needs you to see him, so raw, so authentically. maybe if you could see the pain he was in, you would spare him more easily.

“anakin…” you whispered, so quietly you almost doubted he heard you.

the reality was, you tended to push anakin away. you were hesitant to love him. you felt greedy whenever you allowed yourself to love him so deeply. you were meant to serve others, not have feelings of your own. anakin was your weakness, and that scared you more than anything. if you were going to be powerful enough to save millions, it would be foolish to have a flaw.

but, clearly, anakin didn’t care about weaknesses. he had you, and loved you with open arms, and despite this, he preformed better than you in nearly everything. how does he manage?

“i love you too much.” his voice was defeated, and the anger he had previously held dissipated. “obi-wan saw me sulk after the three days. he stopped me from seeing you when you arrived.”

you nodded slowly. it made sense, you couldn’t imagine the scene that would have occurred if it had been anakin carrying your half-conscious body. anakin skywalker reacted according to his feelings. he was spontaneous.

you sighed quietly.

“i would never leave the order, anakin. i wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” you spoke, and winced as you visibly saw him tense.

you had to be honest with him.

reaching a hand out, you grabbed his, gently interlocking your fingers.

“but, i can promise you that i will never take a mission like that. it was reckless, i know. i’m so sorry.”

he didn’t speak, taking a seat on your bed.

he was unsatisfied, you knew that.

but you couldn’t change the entire trajectory of your life for him just because he worries you’ll get hurt. it would be wrong, and you know, though he won’t say it out loud, anakin agrees with you.

he allows himself to give into desires. it’s not because he feels he’s “deserving” of them, but because it’s something that comes so natural to him. so why must it be wrong to love you?

anakin is confident with your abilities. he knows how strong you are. but it’s second-nature for him to worry. you’re something so precious to him in this world of despair.

so he’ll stay silent and let you do whatever you please. he cannot hold you back, and he’s now painfully aware of it. but, he can help you.

more trainings, better advice, and more time.

you have each other, and he is satisfied with that forever.

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itsblackmary · 3 months

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is it real ⟶ anakin skywalker

description ⌙ it's easier to hate him than it is to be honest in how much you care for him, but anakin makes a mission of making hating him near impossible. pairing ⌙ anakin x fem!reader warnings ⌙ saber graze, tending to a wound, a petty argument, a little angst. word count ⌙ 2.8k

— request | masterlist

totally inspired by this masterpiece of a song that i can't get out of my head. it's so ani coded i had to indulge.

"there's a med-pack by the table." anakin's voice is soft, enough so to distract slightly from the searing pain emitting from the saber graze at your ribs.

"can you, fuck, help?" you barely make it to his bed before your knees give.

at your falter he rushes to you, eyes wide, "c'mere, let me see."

you don't fight him when he rips your tunics off, exposing the large gash at your ribcage. you take in a breath at the sight of it. far larger and worse than you had previously thought.

"obi-wan was right," he grabs for the med-pack before kneeling down to you, "you have to stop trying to fight all on your own."

you want to roll your eyes, you want to smack him upside the head. for as long as you've known the boy, he's had an annoying tendency of fretting over you, acting as though you were delicate.

when you were younger, it was easier for you to accept such behavior. but as the two of you grew, it became far harder to ignore the way his kindness caused your mind to drift toward something utterly wrong. friendship had since turned into acquaintanceship.

it was so much easier this way.

"says you, skywalker." your voice is gritty, watching his mechanic hand begin to clean the wound.

he ignores your irritation, "maybe if you'd let me help you—"

you interrupt him, eyes narrowed, "i'm letting you help right now, aren't i?"

his hand stills for a second before continuing its work, "you know what i mean."

you're not sure you do. in truth, there could be a million things he could mean. you rarely lean on your fellow jedi, especially not anakin. not when being around him makes your heart race faster than a speeder.

you try to avoid him as much as possible. you'd rather eat at a crowded table than with him at his empty one, rather fight a group of enemies alone than beside him, rather keep your thoughts locked away in your own head than divulge them to him.

for as great and divinely chosen as he was in others' eyes, he was a lingering distraction for you. his gaze is etched into your mind, and you find it frightening how much you draw up the vision.

if you're the means, he will always be your end.

"it's not that bad, i've seen you take worse." you try to steady your voice as you speak.

his non-dominant hand finds its way to your bent knee, sending a shock throughout your body, "doesn't mean you have to." you waver slightly at his words, zoning in on the way his lips quirk up at the sentiment.

rolling your eyes, you grab for the bandages and gauze, "i can do the rest myself."

he draws away from you but you can feel him watching you. you can tell he wants to say more— wants to press you further.

you try to ignore the way his presence affects you as you wrap your wound. it's easier that way, to brush him off. maker forbid you ever gave him the notion that you feel the way you do.

if he knew— he'd be on you like ants to honey, all-consuming. anakin was devotional, it was a flaw you enjoyed pointing out to him. you'd mock him for it, calling it the opposite of the jedi way. because it's easier to pick fun at the attribute than to imagine the way it would feel to be at the receiving end of such a trait.

it'd be sacred, surely.

you finish dressing the saber graze and hold tight to the fresh application before grabbing your tunics. it's a painful struggle to put them back on, and you wince at the stretch you have to do to pull them back over your head.

anakin, now leaning against his door, watches you in condemnation, "it wouldn't hurt so much if you just let me help you, y/n."

you make your way toward him, "i'm fine. now, can you let me leave."

he glowers at you, "no."

"what do you mean, no?" your eyes slim.

"i want you to be honest for once," he clenches his jaw before continuing, "i mean, i’m trying to help you, and you act like a brat. what's your problem?"

you stare at him, feeling frustration bubbling up inside you. he is so adept at getting under your skin and making you feel things that are far better left unexplored.

"my problem?" you scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. "my problem is that i'm sick and tired of being treated like a child by everyone around here. including you."

anakin's eyes widen in surprise for just a moment before they darken with anger, "i treat you like an equal, you know that." he spits out through gritted teeth.

"you don't!" you exclaim, the dam finally breaking inside of you. "you act like i can't handle anything on my own."

"that's because half the time it seems like-"

"like what?" you interrupt him, taking a step closer despite yourself.

"like…like maybe sometimes," his voice softens as he speaks now—almost pleadingly, "you could use some help."

you take one hand and shove him against the door, fingers digging into his robes, "i don't need your help. i don't need anything from you," you watch him sneer down at you, "and if you want honesty, then the truth is that i'd be far better off without you trailing around me all the time."

he gives an unamused laugh, "you know what i think?"

you don't dignify him with an answer prompting him to go on, "i think you shut down because you're scared," he grabs hold of your wrist, pulling you even closer to him, "i can sense it, you know. every time i see you all that radiates is fear. you're not even strong enough to hide it. what are you so damn afraid of, y/n?”

you pull away from him and shoot daggers before shoving him out of your path and exiting his room.

you rush to your own room, heart thudding in your chest. you attempt to stop yourself from thinking any further on what had just happened. sitting on the edge of your bed, you take deep breaths before burying you face in your hands. he was right—you were scared; scared of opening up and admitting how deeply you've grown to care for him.

he was beautiful, tragically so. and off limits in ways that made your chest feel heavy. you've tried to forget the way he makes you feel for years now. you've tried to tell yourself that what you feel isn't real. it can't be, not when you've sworn an oath against such notions.

yet, he remains a pertinent figure living in the back of your mind. a fantasy you indulge solely in the safety of seclusion.

the evening drags along slowly, and you take note his absence at dinner. his usual seat left empty, causing you to worry for him. it's futile to try and stop the obvious impact he has over you, especially after the fight.

he has a way of sowing himself indelibly to you.

though he remains so obvious in his fruitless kinship for you— you do the contrary. you keep your worries to yourself, and in the times you've been anything other than unemotional to him, you've reacted before thinking more than you care to admit.

you were mean, and even if he'd never know, it did hurt you to act in such a way. especially when all you really want is to see those blue eyes looking down on you with a loving gaze.

you push your food around on your plate, lost in thought, only to have a warm hand on your shoulder.

looking up, you find obi-wan, eyebrows drawn together is deliberation.

you try and push your thoughts away, masking your fears, "yes, master?"

he removes his previous look, replacing it with a soft smile, "y/n, i wanted to make sure you were okay. you took quite a blow today."

you have trouble meeting his eyes, "i'm fine master, just a small cut."

he lets his hand drop, "of course. i hope to see you for meditation tomorrow morning. it just may be of service."

he's gone before you can reply, leaving you alone with your unwanted dinner and thoughts.

hours pass by without you noticing them go. you attempt to train but your practice moves fall short. until, finally, it's late enough that even one of yoda's animated lessons couldn't keep someone from seeking sleep.

you make your way back to your room as fatigue sets in. your senses full of the one thing that refuses to ease its grip over you— anakin.

the exchange with him earlier continues to replay on a loop inside your mind, making it nearly impossible to drift off peacefully. you toss and turn for what feels like hours, restlessly upset.

abruptly, loud knocks echo through your room, interrupting your silent brooding whilst stirring the half slumber you’d found yourself in.

you can sense the familiar force signature, and you know it's anakin pounding away at your door. his energy seems off, less guarded and more haphazard. the feeling of it has you tensing.

nervous, you get out of bed and make your way to the door, still feeling hints of your previous anger and anxiety. you swing it open to find him standing on the other side, breathing heavily as if he had been running.

"what do you want?" you ask, trying your best to keep your voice level.

"i'm sorry," he says simply, not meeting your eyes.

you're taken aback by his apology, not expecting it, "for what?" you ask, confused.

"for the way i've been treating you," he says with a sigh. "i've been so focused on keeping you safe that i haven't been treating you like the equal that you are. and for what i said earlier… i didn't mean it. i just wanted to get a rise out of you."

you stare at him for a moment, trying to process his words. anakin has never been one to apologize easily, and you can sense that this is challenging for him.

slowly, you start to soften towards him, "come in." you say finally, and step aside to let him into your room.

he steps in and closes the door behind him, turning to face you. "i know we fight more often than we get along," he says tentatively. "but i don't want to lose you completely. i miss you. we used to be so... different."

you feel a lump in your throat at his words. despite everything that had happened with him, you know deep down that you don’t want to lose him either. but something is still stopping you from stating your full truth.

"well things are different now," you admit quietly. "we're different."

anakin looks at you, his eyes searching your face for meaning while his mouth forms a thin line. "why?" he asks finally.

you try to find the words but all that comes out is an half-baked excuse, "because that's just what happens, anakin."

"it doesn’t have to…" anakin presses gently and takes a step closer towards you. the heat from him fills up the room making it difficult to think straight let alone answer him honestly. you look away trying to avoid eye contact. with each second that passes by, your denial seems more insufferable.

he seems to notice this and steps even closer so now only inches are between the two of you before asking, "is it because…" his voice catches as he leans in “is it because you can tell how much i care for you. how easily you've become more to me. i tried so hard to hide, y/n, but i can’t anymore.”

you're taken aback by how easily the words leave anakin's lips despite not being able to ever even think of being as honest as him.

but at his admission, something cracks inside of you, allowing you to gain confidence, “no, i never knew you felt—” you falter at the way he's looking you down, face full of anticipation, "i never knew you felt that way. i thought it was only me."

anakin steps even closer, his breath hot against your skin. "never, i've always felt like this," he confesses, his voice low and gravelly. "from the moment i met you. maker, you've had me around your finger for years, i couldn't help but fall for you."

you feel your heart race as his words wash over you, mingled with the warmth of his body so close to yours. you can't deny the attraction that you've always felt— the electricity that seemed to spark whenever your eyes met, the way your skin tingled whenever he brushed past you.

"don't say that, ani," you whisper, feeling a rush, "this isn’t right, it could mean the worst for us, you know that."

anakin takes another step towards you, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek gently. "don't be scared, i’m not," he whispers, his eyes locked on yours. "i'm here for you. whatever happens, you know that."

time seems to still as you lean into his touch, getting lost in the heat of the moment despite yourself. you can feel his words through the softness of his touch.

and then suddenly his lips are on your own— fiercely and passionately. all of your warning thoughts fly out of your head as you surrender into him.

in that moment, there is nothing else but the two of you - lost in each other's embrace and finally free to show all the attachment that's been simmering beneath the surface for so long.

but then as quickly as it came, anakin pulls away and apologizes for the sudden kiss, visibly embarrassed by his impulsivity.

he takes a step back from you in an attempt to put some distance between you while he runs a hand through his hair nervously.

"sorry," he says softly, looking anywhere but your eyes, filled with surprise and confusion.

"i shouldn't have done that." he pauses before continuing in something barely more than a whisper this time, “i just… i'm sorry."

you stand there, still in shock from the sudden kiss but unable to deny the fluttering feeling in your heart. you want to tell him that it's okay, that you feel the same way, but you can't find the words.

anakin seems to read your thoughts, his eyes locking onto yours as he steps back once again. "i know this is a lot to take in," he says, his voice gentle and reassuring. "but i just needed you to know how i feel."

you nod, finally finding your voice. "i…i don't know what to say," you admit, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

for so long you’ve dreaded the idea of anakin knowing how you felt. you’ve been so afraid of rejection, that you’ve never considered the possibility of the inverse happening.

anakin reaches out, taking your hand, sending shivers down your spine with his touch, “you don't have to say anything," he says softly. "just know that i care about you…more than anything."

the two of you stand there for a second longer, lost in each other's eyes and the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air.

finally, anakin breaks the silence. "i should go," he says reluctantly. "we can talk more about this later if you want…but only if you're ready."

you nod once more, still unsure of what to say or do. as anakin turns to leave, you find yourself calling out to him.

"ani…wait."

he turns back towards you, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"i care about you too, i'm not afraid of it anymore. i just want you." you whisper, feeling a weight lifted off of your shoulders.

anakin looks at you, a mix of shock and pure elation written on his face. he doesn't say anything, he just walks back towards you, taking your face in his hands before pressing his lips onto yours once again.

this time the kiss is even more intense than before, all of the the passion and desire that you've both kept buried for all these years flaring out. your hands make their way to his chest to you pull him closer to you.

anakin deepens the kiss as he wraps his arms around you, tugging you into an embrace that will no doubt carve itself into your very soul. you can feel the beat of his heart against you, matching the pace of your own rapid heartbeats.

when he finally pulls away, gasping for air, you can't stop the smile spreading on your face.

"i've always wanted this," anakin whispers softly, his forehead resting against yours. "i just didn't know how to tell you."

"i'm glad you did," you reply softly, running your fingers through his hair. "i didn't know how to say either."

the two of you stand there for a few moments longer before anakin finally pulls away. "i should go," he says reluctantly. "i'll see you tomorrow?"

you nod, feeling content and happy for the first time in a long time. as anakin leaves your room, you lay down on your bed with a smile on your face— grateful to be the aspect of his devotion.

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