Cats and Tumblr Photoset

I genuinely believe that if a whole city is not safe, you should reblog every post you see a horrible situation, to let everyone know that it’s not safe.

If any of your followers are in SYDNEY CBD, and they haven’t heard anything on the hostage situation in Martin Place, then here is a post to let everyone know that you should stay as far away from the city as you can, until it’s safe. To everyone in Sydney, please stay aware, alert & stay safe.

Hybrid wolfdog is very protective of the new kitten.

OkCupid is wild

Original post by talizorah-vas-rannoch.

It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit

Eartha Kitt (via psych-facts)

Do you blame anything for triggering your bipolar episode? I have bipolar and am trying to figure it out. and feel less alone.

Let me just start this by saying that I am by no means a trained official, a medical or mental health doctor, or any other sort of psychological authority. Again, I am NOT an expert to be quoted. But I will tell you what I know and what I have experienced:

I am 20 years old. It seems that 20-25 are crucial years for mental health. My family has a lot of mental illnesses in it, including, but not limited to, bipolar disorders, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorders. I am genetically predisposed. I do not have Bipolar 1 or 2, but rather a mood cycling disorder within the bipolar category (I experience my highs and lows every day, however, for about a year I was depressed, and all the other years it seems I'm mostly manic).

[Just as "boy/man" and "girl/woman" are socially constructed, so is sex. This is a much longer conversation for another time, but the point remains that although I use a language of sex and gender binaries, I do so for the ease of mainstream speech.] "Men" experience much of their mania in a "high". Mania has a lot of energy and it's extremely fast paced. However, this seems to look "positive" or "high," whereas women experience mania as irritation.

I have been irritated, angry, stressed and on edge my whole life. When I was 13 several major negative events happened in immediate family, including a loss of my closest relative. I don't really have memories before 13.  I was still irritated and whatnot through high school, but I started becoming depressed. The summer between my freshmen and sophomore year in college (19 years old) I just felt extremely lonely. Not at first. At first I just spent less and less time with people and more and more on Tumblr and on Netflix. I didn't realize it, but I had hit a major low point. Lower than ever before. I only really had one friend I talked to every day and would hang out with. When our friendship ended I couldn't handle it. Even though I was part of clubs and orgs and a full time student, I just felt lonely.

This whole year I've felt really fucking lonely. I didn't realize it, but trying to soothe this loneliness just make me smoke a lot and have a lot of reckless sex. 

I finally took myself to the campus counseling services and forced myself not "to be positive" or to "get better," but because the minutes I spent awake felt like hours, and I didn't know how to fill them and I got bored and lonelier and furthered living in my head. 

Long story short: I am genetically predisposed, have lived through an extremely dysfunctional household, and have been living under stress for a decade. I felt like my willpower dipped without saying goodbye. And I felt like that for a year. All Spring quarter I forced myself to walk around campus as much as I physically could. I can't seem to really do anything about my moods when I'm in them, but I can now spot when I feel a "transitionary" mood, which feels oddly empty, and I can prepare myself. I've learned how to anchor myself. I've learned what is healthy for me. I think the things that really trigger an episode, for me at least, are the larger feelings of loneliness and/or stress. Trying to pinpoint what were certain events, for me, relate more to closure than to progress. Although I need closure to progress, the closure itself is not enough. The understanding is not enough. I break when my stress is too much, and from there I either feel lonely or on top of the world. 

A therapist I was seeing (who was very helpful and wonderful) showed this to me: Safety Plan. I resisted it at first, but now I see it's a sheet for those who care about me, not me documenting my most intimate "flaws." 

I don't care if it's cheesy. Things like that have given me more perspective and have aided in my journey to feeling a balanced and good life:http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2006/09/27/top-ten-terrific-things-about-bipolar-disorder/http://www.bphope.com/Item.aspx/915/accentuate-the-positive

You're on anon and I would be, too. If you send me a message with a way to contact you I'll keep it private. 

True story.

I just wanted a refill on my Sprite. 

That’s all I wanted.

and I would have done anything for it

I love your writing and I hope that you feel better soon. When you do start writing I will read. Stay strong

Thank you so much

im done

*tries to act cool by not texting back right away but forgets and never texts back*

I hope everything gets better for you. I've missed you and your writing a lot, but take all the time to make sure you're better :)

I truly appreciate the support. Thank you.

Things have been lookin' up. I'm hoping to start pumping stories out again. #hopeful #haha #stillhavethebestfollowers

The Last 8 Months

Trigger Warning: Mental illness 

An explanation and update to my followers

I started this blog in the summer of 2013. I don't love it any less now than when I created it, but I haven't been updating because I've been living the most recent "wind" of my bipolar disorder. 

In the last few weeks I've entered a space of some clarity and I'm taking charge of my life. I was in an extremely depressive state for the last two quarters of my academic year and essentially through the summer before that. I've recently started seeing a doctor and I'm hoping to get my life together/the beginnings of together before this academic year is up and I'm back off to my home town. 

I appreciate everyone's continued interest and support all these months. I love each and every one of my followers, and I promise you all the 'literotica' I can write once my shit gets together -- I've been having some pretty hot sex regardless of the shit-wirlwind that has been my life this year, so, you know, I'll be sure to add some new dets to da new workz.

Let’s not talk about it…