incorrectmedievalchina
Incorrect Quotes from c. 300 - c. 700
Does incorrect quotes mostly spanning the Sixteen Kingdoms, Northern and Southern Dynasties, and Sui-Tang dynasties, may occasionally do Eastern Han/Three Kingdoms. Main is @craftercat.
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Tuoba Shao: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.
Tuoba Gui: Only if you also don't ask why
Tuoba Gui: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Tuoba Shao:
Tuoba Gui:
Tuoba Shao: This one is fine.
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Tuoba Si: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Cui Hao: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Tuoba Si: Absolutely not.
#incorrect northern wei#tuoba si#cui hao#alternatively replace them with tuoba gui and baba daosheng
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Tuoba Si: I was thinking I'd do some magic-
Liu Yu: You? Magic? Tuoba Si, it says talent show.
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The Tuoba clan, unsure of what happened to Tuoba Gui after he got patricided:
Tuoba Yue: Is Bixia sleeping or dead?
Tuoba Qu: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.
Tuoba Mohan: Yeah, so did I.
Tuoba Lie: Okay first of all, fuck you-
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Helian Bobo: Yao Xing, my old arch enemy.
Tuoba Si: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?
Helian Bobo: I have a life outside of you, Tuoba Si. Unlike you.
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Yao Xing: Violence isn't the answer.
Helian Bobo: You’re right.
Yao Xing: *sighs in relief*
Helian Bobo: Violence is the question.
Yao Xing: What?
Helian Bobo, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Yao Xing, running after them: NO-
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Wu Zetian: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it
Li Chongrun: Just rip the bandage off.
Wu Zetian: It’s Zhang Yizhi.
Li Chongrun: Put the bandage back on.
#incorrect tang dynasty#empress zetian#li chongrun#no but historically she would have made sure everyone knew it
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Tuoba Qu: Top 30 reasons why Tuoba Qu is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!
Tuoba Si: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!
#incorrect northern wei#tuoba si#he's exhausted and overstressed about helian bobo invading#and is accountability bad when it's clan members or what?
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Li Shimin: I am a bad person. I am a very, very bad person. I am a horrible person.
Zhangsun Wuji:
Li Jing:
Chu Suiliang:
Wei Zheng:
Li Shimin: "No you're not, Bixia! We still love you, Bixia!"
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Li Zhi: Li Xian, keep an eye on Empress Wu today. She's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Li Xian: Sure, I’d love to see Mother get punched.
Li Zhi: Try again.
Li Xian, sighing: I will stop Mother from getting punched.
#incorrect tang dynasty#li zhi#empress zetian#li xian (crown prince zhanghuai)#they're so dysfunctional help them
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I'm not sure if tuoba si is my pure innocent angel or my poor little meow meow because my view of him personally changes every week, but he is 100% my baby and he deserves the world, and his haters if he has any are not welcome here.
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Thank you @linyilings210s for giving me the original idea for the previous reblog.
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"average president is convicted of .74 felonies" factoid actualy just statistical error. average president is convicted of 0 felonies. Felonies Georg, who lives in Mar-a-Lago & was convicted of 34 felonies, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
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Honestly poor tuoba si he seems like a normal person surrounded by crazy people such as tuoba shao and tuoba gui.
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Tuoba Si: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Cui Hao: You and me!!!
Tuoba Si, tearing up: Okay.
#tuoba si#cui hao#incorrect shiliuguo#incorrect northern wei#i love tuoba si so much he deserves the world
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Tuoba Si: I told His Majesty his ears flush when he lies.
Wang Luo'er: Why?
Tuoba Si: Look.
Tuoba Si: Hey Your Majesty! Do you love me?
Tuoba Gui, covering his ears: Yes.
Wang Luo'er:
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