in the process of healing

Glorify recovery

Glorify full meals, a good nights rest, and doing your best. Glorify making the consious decision to be better. Glorify the daily struggles to do whats best and ignore the evil whispers your disorder wants you to trust. Glorify winning those little, silent victories. Glorify feeling warm, full, and refreshed. Glorify health and happiness and caution. Recovery can be beautiful if we rest during our bad days and rejoice on our good days. Weather you are moving up or down, you are still moving forward. Glorify recovery, not illness.

I’ll stop when

You reach that number? That size? Oh, OK, you’ll stop when you’re happy with your body. That’ll happen right? Sure, you’ll just wake up, step on the scale, put on those jeans, smile at your reflection and get back to the way things were.

Wake up.

There is no happy number or size or reflection. There is no turning point. There is no ‘I’ll stop now’. 

There are more goals more targets more rules more numbers; more more more more more. Anorexia will not ever be happy, not at anything. You’ve heard it from professionals and those in recovery and those who’ve had an eating disorder and been the ‘worst of the worst’ but you don’t believe any of them.

Well start to.

Because one day you’re going to be sat there at the moment you promised yourself you would stop and it will hit you that there is no moment, there is no achievement, there is just more hurting to come. 

Stop listening to the evil in your mind and listen to the people who know, listen to the people who care and destroy the thought that you ‘will stop when…’ Its just another lie. 

You have permission to eat. Even if you:

haven’t exercised

eaten too much yesterday

eaten too much today

don’t know the exact nutritional value of the meal

have gained weight

aren’t feeling hungry ‘enough’

feel like you don’t deserve it 

All food is guilt-free. There’s nothing shameful about feeding yourself, ever.

friendly reminder that you’re never going to look back on your life when you’re 80 years old and wish you had spent more time counting calories and less time living

Been really struggling with my eating disorder lately, but trying my best to love the skin I’m in. Big shoutout to @taylorswift for writing this 💕

Here’s to another day aka another chance to learn to love yourself the way you are ❤️

You don't have to relapse to validate your pain.

me in ed hell: obsesses over food, hardly thinks about anything else, hates myself, wants to fade away, lots of other stuff that should not be shared, “this sucks and I want it to stop”

me in recovery: I was faking the whole thing, my ed was made up and I never truly had one, I need to try again and be sicker this time. you can eat “normally” right now because you are a liar, not because you have made significant progress managing your mental health. this makes perfect and complete logical sense.

healing takes time

Recovery doesn’t mean you didn’t suffer. Recovery doesn’t make your past experiences less real. Recovery just means you’ve decided you don’t want to keep suffering.

gotta say lads. really don’t like feeling full but you know gotta eat to live so you gotta deal with it i suppose

Hey goofball go eat. How are you expecting to keep on functioning when you skipped breakfast? You can’t.  Not properly. Go get a snack. 

This gives me so much hope

I just wanted to share with other anons who may be struggling: I’ve been recovered for 2+ years now and let me tell you, there IS a point in your life where you look back and wonder how you lived like that. You look at other people’s posts saying they’re too scared to eat XYZ and wonder how you ever let those horrible thoughts make you feel that way. Some (rare) days I do have intrusive thoughts, but now I can distinguish them from my own and recognise that I am choosing to live. You got this!!

Thank you for sharing this!