Slowly but surely practicing my skills back up in between anxiety and muscle spasms... just trying to get back to me

My cat is so obsessed with me I love it

Check out my art Instagram @p.dixart to keep up with the pieces I'm finishing while I try to fight through the burnout to get some new creations started

Just finished these two new pieces up! Check out @p.dixart on IG for this and other work by me!

woman yelling at cat meme but make it ancient greek red figure pottery

another heavy handed symbolism moment: my mom has a potted sunflower in the kitchen. because it is a sunflower, it keeps turning towards the light from the window. my mother keeps rotating it so it faces inward because she wants "to see its beautiful petals and have it really brighten up the space!" . the sunflower is visibly wilting .

uptown worm.... into the oval office she will squirm... all her policies are fair but firm... i'd elect her to a second term

Women, man.

This girl that I worked with had a bf, and they got engaged shortly after I started working with and talking to her. She told me she wanted friends, cause she didn't hang out with many people outside of her bf and his friends. So I was like cool, I need friends around my age instead of way older like usual. I even painted her and another coworker things to practice painting and as presents for christmas/in general cause, new friends! But I think she mistook my intentions.. which is also 100% normal and usually what happens. So we hadn't really talked since like, March. I also had a lot of other shit going on for myself, and I recently got fired from that job (because of discrimination, I still haven't decided how far I'm going to go legally with it but I've got unemployment about to start and a last check coming.

HOWEVER. Right after being fired, and before she knew about it, this same girl at work randomly sent me a link for her brand new OF account. On said account she lists herself as bi and only mentions being an introvert sharing her freaky side. After not speaking to each other since March. She then unsolicited called me baby girl outta no where, and I haven't corrected her with the pronoun thing yet cause I'm still too confused about wtf she's got going on. She then sent me 4 voice messages over Instagram first thing in the morning the next morning. And invited me out to a gay club with her and some other gays that all work where we used to work together. All very clear signs and indications of something, right??? And then..

Then I asked her "so what's the deal with the OF? I thought you might very gotten hacked" and her reply was along the lines of "I love sex and wanted to share that with people in my life so they could enjoy me too"

"Oh, and there will be some girl on girl action soon too so stay tuned"... 👀👀👀 OK ma'am, go off.

And then my reply, obviously, after this barrage of unsolicited everything, went along the lines of "we stab, fully support a small business. I would offer to help with volunteers but I doubt you'd need help in that department"

....lame. i know. So sue me....to which she replied... absolutely nothing. Has left me on read since Wednesday. Maybe it's because I wasn't as forward as she was being? But literally the last I heard she was engaged and had found her forever person and just wanted more friends to hang out with. But then never hung out with me when I tried and then stopped talking altogether until she sent me an OF sooooooo wtf. Why tf. Why do women. Why am I like this.

Either way all I've been able to think about since is all the different ways I wanna make her come and now I can't believe I have to wait until the day they wanna go out to hang out with her and figure it the fuck out. But, I gotta wait till I get my last check before I can do anything else about it anyway. Atm I have half a tank of gas and $25 for food till whenever that gets issued. And florida only requires them to send it out within 30 days of termination so they could technically wait till after the date everyone wants to go out before they issue it. I could get 1 or 2 unemployment checks before I get my actual final check

But anyway. Now idk if I've ruined it before it could start or if she's waiting for me to reciprocate some of the forwardness, idk if I should dig in harder and figure out something else to say or if I should leave it alone and give it some air before hanging out in person. What I really wanna do is be honest and let her know how much she's driving me crazy with everything and figure out if it's the intent or if I'm misreading things but how exactly do you misread that? Why send me the link at all if you don't either wanna think about me joining or something? We hadn't spoken in months. Idk. Maybe she thought I'd find out through work and feel left out? Why would that matter tho?

WHY AM I LIKE THIS

Officially has to leave my home of 4 years because I literally cannot spend another day of my life dealing with the crazy toxicness of my family. Staying wherever I can until I figure out what I'm going to do. Applying for jobs all over

Strata & Life in the Clouds by landESCAPEvisuals

Cape Town, South Africa by Ryan O’Shea

Le monde sensible@Philippe4269·

Jean Gaumy