soo. this picture is in one of my classrooms. its a baguette. its added onto often. the baguette used in the photos is over 6 months old. and is still being used

only aussies will get this

they come over often to my place. I ask if theyre the male prostitutes I hired and if they could take their pants off so I know I get what im paying for

mormons pass by

This afternoon confirms it:

Mormons have some kind of list of which houses NOT to stop at; they will pass you by when they are out doing their missionary thing. 

From the corner window, I saw two young guys in the white shirts and the ties walking up the block towards my sidewalk. Then they passed by and went up to the next house. 

I assume it’s because I engaged the last pair of Mormon missionaries with questions: why no one ever told them the truth about old Joe Smith who was a conman arrested twice in New York before he invented Mormonism, why a supposed divinely-inspired text would be full of untruths about Native Americans, how old Joe Smith’s doctrine of religious polygamy was an attempt to bamboozle people who thought he was immoral for marrying several young girls … 

I also assume they reported my questions back to their mission leader and he (well, it would be a he, wouldn’t it, knowing Mormon views of women in leadership) must have put my address on a no-go list to avoid the chance that I might contaminate the faith of a future Mormon. 

Poor kids. They are lied to their whole lives. Poor me, I missed my chance to enlighten a couple of ‘em.  

So I just stumbled across this, and im dying

sooo I just watched the first twilight movie for the first time aaannndd…… if his skin is as cold as ice, and bella got pregnant (I know the basic plot) then how tf would his dick have felt inside her!?!

youll be lucky to get a taNGERINE!!!

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Y'all wanna see a weird cucumber illuminati cup I found at the thrift shop?

what I see every time a cat jumps

.

true Australian bussinessmen

im bored reblog and add a photo of the grocery chain you grew up with:

Petty Level: 16.3K

This property is HOA-Free.

This is a long one, because it involves a growing escalation of actions. TLDR at the bottom. Some terms are translated because I don’t live in an English-speaking country.

We moved houses last year, to the ugliest in the street. The previous owners must have loved Mondriaan, because the front was red/blue/yellow in windowframes and door. One paintjob, many thankful neighbors and several months later, I get an invitation to a voluntary “Collective of inhabitants”, the terms read like an opt-in HOA that you can never leave. A long list of restrictions, and no benefits? No thanks.

Keep reading

I’ll make sure you never get a date again.

Over two years ago, I dated a boy for around 5 or 6 months. Let’s call him X. Ultimately, I broke up with X because he routinely sexually assaulted me, cheated on me, threatened to tell my mother horrific and untrue things about me if I left him, and many other things of that sort. We don’t talk regularly, but every time he likes a girl he’ll pretend to text me accidentally and tell me about it in an attempt to make me jealous. I have a friend who X talks to regularly, and this friend will then tell me the name of the girl he’s crushing on.

Every time this happens, I send the girl a DM. I tell her that I heard that X has been crushing on her, and that she’s free to make her own choices about dating him, but before she should do so she should know the kind of person he really is. I then tell her the truth about what he did to me, sprinkling in some old screenshots I’ve saved just for this occasion. I make sure to include that it’s entirely possible he may have changed, but should they date she should look out for those warning behaviors. I ask her to please not share any of the information I’ve given her, as he could still tell my mother many of the thing she threatened to before (not that she would believe him).

So far, I’ve done this with 4 girls. None of them have ever said anything, and all of them have unexpectedly stopped talking to him out of nowhere (according to the mutual friend). He posts on social media all the time about how he can never get a date, and occasionally rants about how women are so picky and choosy and always flake out halfway through a flirtatious relationship.

It may seem over the top, but the sexual abuse I suffered through has deeply affected me, and I fully intend to make sure he can never get a date again. Take that, b*tch. (source)

You should really have googled that.

Long story: TL;DR at the end.

I have a cousin (“Mack”) whose picture is next to the word self-righteous in the dictionary. He’s not alone in my extended family - if there’s a gene for self-righteousness and pestering other people about their lives, most of my relatives have it once. A few blessed relatives don’t have it at all. Mack, though, definitely has BOTH of those self-righteous gene alleles. He’s even a pastor (apologies to any pastors, but you probably know the kind of guy I mean).

Backstory which may interest some of you, but likely not too many, so skip a bit if you like

Mack grinds my gears, and though it is not directly relevant to what he did to inspire my petty revenge, readers may be more satisfied with what happens to him if they know a couple of other things about him.

Keep reading

those are diary cows....

Just a friendly reminder

that even if your cows got to live like this

or got to live like this

they all end up like this

I sure do look a lot like a butch lesbian for someone who isn’t a girl and who exclusively likes boys

Shots fired