sorry my activity has been crappy lately, my little lovebugs but i'll definitely be on tomorrow!!

"I'm so sorry! I got waylaid and this place is like a maze, I don't know how anyone finds their way around here, to be honest. A whore house? I - I thought I smelt okay. I mean, my roommate did my washing this week, so maybe that's it?"

"You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago. You realise I have pins and needles in my ass because i’ve been sitting here so long, right?   — You smell like a whore house, by the way."

I'd offer to fill you in on what happened but I wasn't really paying much attention to what was going on. Sounds like you had a good night regardless. Trade horror films for something funny and romantic and you have my typical evening. I don't even need horror films to freak me out. There's a 100% chance that I won't open the door once it gets dark.

Should I be glad I wasn’t at this social thing or whatever? Eh, I don’t care. Probably didn’t miss much out of the usual day routines. In all fairness I’m definitely the one who had a much better night, I spent the night with my dog, pizza and a whole lot of horror films. I guess I’m kind of a little freaked now though, there’s a more than 80 percent chance I wont be opening the door to anyone for the next few days.

Holding out hope on that. What sort of interesting stories did he have? I have to admire his courage. If I knocked heads with someone i'd probably cry and run away. The last thing i'd do is invite them for coffee.

I bet you’ll find the perfect person. He was very cute and he was kind. He also had very interesting stories to tell so I was attracted a little bt I don’t think I’ll ever see him again.

"I'm sure someone does though and I don't want to upset them. Do you want to go back to yours and cuddle and watch a movie?"

"So? Who cares? I don’t."

"Wow. Okay. Er... we're in a room full of people right now..."

"Good. Awesome."

I hope I have a good story to tell my future kids about how me and their father met. But look at me, getting ahead of myself. Were you even attracted to this kind stranger?

Maybe I’ll finally meet my soul mate. Oh! — That would be a cute story for our kids to hear.

"I'm sorry if I came on a little strong. I'll try and cool it this time. We can... we can slow things down — if that'll help you. But okay, yeah... i'm willing to give it another go."

"Nah you’re not, you’re kinda right really, like I should keep it in my pants. I um, I’ll try, I just mean, it got kinda serious yano? Like I couldn’t deal with it. But yeah, I mean, we can try it again, if you want?"

That's pretty much the cutest meet-cute ever! Seriously, straight out of a blockbuster romcom or something. You have to hunt him down, learn his name — wait no! You'll find each other again anyway. It's fate.

So today, I dropped my phone on the sidewalk and this kind stranger bent down to pick it up the same exact time I was going to and we hit our heads. So to apoligize, he offered to get me coffee so I pretty much spent a half an hour drinking coffee with a complete stranger. And I still don’t know his name.

You'll really let me do your make up? If my evil witch laugh was perfected this is where I would insert it. Which ex of yours are you planning on prank calling? We'll just call it a momentary lapse of judgement and put it down to the excitement of this fancy pants party.

Yeah, lets go watch chick flicks till we bawled our eyes out. I will braid your hair and you will do my make up. By wild you mean prank call our exes? I have decided to erase that thought in my head, I don’t know what is wrong with me. I shouldn’t have asked you your bed skills. 

"No... sorry. I'm fully aware now though and I completely share your anger on the repeated song fiasco. Isn't it a good song though?! I hope they're saving it for the finale! Well, I cn promise you that you won't catch me dancing to the YMCA — nor the cha-cha slide. I always get my left and rights mixed up anyway."

"You really haven’t been all here, have you? Okay, I secretly love that song too— YMCA on the other hand? Not so much, so I should definitely request it. I wonder if people will still dance to it though? You know… I’m surprised the cha-cha slide hasn’t played yet."

"I know, god,  i'm sorry. I was being unnecessarily whiny and feeling sorry for myself. If you're willing to try then... I can't really fault that, can I? Because I do want to be with you, that hasn't changed."

"Because I have a problem Poppy, alright I have this huge fucking issue and I fucked up alright and I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, it didn’t mean anything. I can’t promise anything but I can try, I can try really hard for you."

I'm glad you think so because now she's bald and boxed up in my parent's basement. You're always welcome at my place. Movie night, boardgames night. We could go wild. Mystery is fun! You can gather your own assumptions about people then. Besides, i'm doing you a favour. I definitely wouldn't want to know if the boy I used to take baths with is considered good in bed.

Nah, I still think your barbie looks better without its magic water hair. I think it would be safe if I will just come to your place, yeah? Okay fine, go mysterious all you want.

How do you say, stop handing me drinks I don't want any more, without seeming rude?

Then you should probably stop drinking, 

"Beating yourself up over me? Ha. Wait, you don't want me to move on? I thought you wanted me to, that's why... you know, you did what you did. I'm very confused right now. I want us to restart, but I - I don't want to be cheated on again."

"Exactly, it’s for the best that we are. You have? Shit so I’ve been beating myself up for no reason? Ha. Well, look can we just— Shit, what if I like, don’t want you to yano? Like can’t we just, restart?"

No! I will not lie. She was my special mermaid Barbie and her hair changed colour in the water and I was so angry at you. I cried myself to sleep for like a week, how's that for your conscious? I'll still come and visit you. Or you could come to mine. No, I don't want you to ask him! I'd rather my bedroom talents remain a mystery.

Lets admit the fact that barbie looks better hairless. No its okay, I like making you uncomfortable. That means no more visits from you? Sucks. Doyou want me to ask him? He will probably throw food at me and scream “FUCK OFF BEN”.

"Ew. Thank the lord you're very different people then. Don't be silly, Rex. I've already forgiven you — in fact there was nothing even to forgive, you moved on and that's fine. Now I just have to get over you too."

"If me and your mum were the same person, then you’d have commited some seriously incestuious things. Poppy, look alright, shit I’m sorry, I’ve said it like five times, please just— Can you not just forgive me? —Yeah, let’s dance alright."