Nicole W. Lee, from "Even the Dust"

I didn't sign up to compete with anxiety

Crazy to think how none of us signed up for life. We didn't consent to a world of constant competition, a world of endless struggle, a world where anxiety is the norm. We didn't consent to the life we were given. I know as an adult your life is created by your own choices at this point, but you can't ignore the luck some people get and some people don't. You can't ignore the fact that the world pushes you towards heteronormative capitalism, where you only succeed if you participate in capitalism. But most don't succeed more than a "living amount" most don't pass that line of comfortability. all due to our societies structure.

What happened to a simple, peaceful life. Where a quiet life is valued, where food is grown simply, where consumerism and competition doesn't rule our "careers" and force us to live outside our means just to feel apart of the whole being.

Not sure where I'm going with this thought. But I'm very honed in on wanting a simple, quiet life. And I don't want to feel unsuccessful for wanting that. I don't want to feel like a failure for not climbing the social and capitalist ladder. I want to shift my view and see how a small purposeful life can be quiet and out of societies way. Please don't interpret this as kooky, off grid, doomsday preparer type of view. I purely am exploring the idea of finding purpose in my life and career outside of what our capitalist society has written out for us.

Who needs a fantasy reading playlist?

Ember telling Nesta that she will find her way just breaks my fucking heart because the first half of the book is all Nesta in her element, doing as she pleases with her bestie Azriel, still doing what’s in the best interest of her family and just truly being her absolute best self and then the SECOND she’s back in the IC dynamic Ember is just watching her get berated for making a decision that we all know Feyre would also make. Like clearly Nesta expressed to Ember her turmoil over all of this and it makes me want to hug her and also slap Cassian.

It’s so tragic to see the dichotomy in one book of Nesta at her absolute best killing a fucking Asteri and then she goes HOME and … that …

I just … I have to dream that there’s something else for Nesta. A real home. Real acceptance.

Talk about daddy issues ….

ifykyk

I want motherfucking magic in life. I want romance. I want peace. I want beauty and softness. I want love and warmth.