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honeybeebard · 2 months

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Missing Files (Astarion x Lilith)

Summary// After sneaking into a young magistrate’s office to find some files that she desperately needs to get rid of, Lilith is forced to play the newly hired secretary when said magistrate catches her red-handed. What could go wrong?

(After finding this art piece by @BloodOathLilith on twitter, I immediately became obsessed and had to write a fic based on her Tav and Astarion. This is before he was turned, obviously, and will contain a filthy amount of smut with some plot at the top. I hope you guys enjoy it, and PLEASE GO FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER AND OTHER SOCIALS. SHE IS AMAZING OKAY, BYE)

WARNINGS: Smut, 18+ only, Degradation, Choking, Pet Names

“Where the fuck is it?” She mumbles to herself, combing through the files on top and inside the desk. The office was full of clutter and chaos, making it even more difficult as she desperately searched for her name on anything. Time was ticking, and if she didn’t find it soon, she would find herself in the jails below before dawn tomorrow.

The outfit she had stolen from one of the shops was itchy on her skin as she pulled at the collar of the dress, a growl rumbling in her chest as she swore and chucked the nearby pile of papers into the wall. It was helpless. She could barely make out any of these words, so how in the hells was she going to find her name?

As she turned to find some grease and a match, her last ditch attempt to burn any evidence of herself along with the rest of the office, a lone paper by the lamp caught her eye. Lilith’s eyes widened as she snatched it, her lips forming into a grin as she made out the letters of her name.

“Fucking knew it.” She smirked, kissing the paper and making her way to the door until she saw the knob turn slowly.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-

That was the only thing running through her mind as she searched for an escape, her fists curling as she saw the window to be too small and the dresser to be too full to hide in. She hurriedly shoved the paper behind her back as the door fully opened, revealing a handsome man dressed in some of the finest silk she had ever seen.

He glances around the office, eyebrows raised as he takes in the damage she has done before his eyes land on her. The color took her breath away, a cerulean blue that reminded her of summer skies that she trained under as a child. He stood tall, confident, though she knew they were almost the same height.

“And you are?” The man asked, his tone light as he cocked his head slightly. She bit down on her lip, focusing back on the problem and not how unbelievably attractive he was for a godsdamn magistrate.

“I, um,” She frowns, looking down at her dress as if it held the answer. “I was just in here because-”

“Let me guess,” He sighs, crossing his arms as Lilith prepares to be revealed. “The courts decided to send me a new secretary without warning me. Again. And just let you into my office?”

Lilith swallowed, trying to decipher if he was serious or if he was tricking her, before nodding slowly. “...Yes?”

The man rolled his eyes and walked past her, their shoulders brushing, which sent her mind buzzing as she followed him with her gaze. He glanced at his desk, clicking his tongue in dissatisfaction, before looking at her once more.

“Well? What are you waiting for? An invitation?” His tone was sharp as he waved at the stack of paperwork. “Get to work. These need to be organized.”

She hesitated, gripping her documents still held behind her tightly as she said, “I’m sorry, I’m not sure how you want me to organize these. I think I shall go fetch you another secretary, someone more suited for-”

“Nonsense, don’t go bother someone else for a job that an idiot could do. Just do it.” He grumbled, sitting in the plush chair as he began to scribble on the parchment in front of him. Lilith, not wanting to risk anything, sat down on the small chair beside the desk and gingerly lifted the file at the top.

It mentioned something about Baldurs Gate, Nine Fingers, and some other words that she could not pronounce. She tried to sound them out in her head, her eyebrows furrowed before the paper was snatched out of her hand suddenly.

“Did I say read them?” He said, glowering. “No. I said file. As in file them away. Gods, are you always this dense?”

“I am not dense!” She protested, glaring as she stood up abruptly. “Maybe you are since you can’t seem to keep a thing organized in here. No wonder you need help.”

Lilith immediately regretted the words the second they came out, her heart lurching as the man stood up and placed both of his palms on the table with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“Do you know who I am?” He asked mockingly, raising a brow. “I am Astarion Ancunin, the youngest and brightest magistrate Baldurs Gate has seen in years. I could have you thrown in the cells like that.” He snapped his fingers, his smile deadly. “I’ve had people thrown in for much less, my dear.”

She felt sweat forming on her forehead as she shook her head in apology, backing up to the door. “My mistake, Astarion, I-”

“That’s Mr. Ancunin to you, love.” He cooed, stalking around the desk. “Such bad manners for a woman dressed so lovely. It makes me wonder if you are who you say you are.” The doorknob was within her grasp, but before she could twist it, he had her pinned against the door, his arms caging her in as he sneakily stole her file from behind her. Lilith’s eyes widened as she reached for it, gasping when his hand wrapped around her throat and shoved her back.

“Ah, so this is why the snake was in the garden.” Astarion hummed, red lips turning up into a smirk. “Looking to avoid punishment for a whole list of crimes…tsk, tsk. What are we going to do with you?”

“Let me go peacefully so that my dagger doesn’t end up buried in your throat?” She says sweetly, her eyes dark as he throws his head back and laughs.

“What happened to the sweet, innocent secretary standing here moments ago? Or do you give up that quickly?” He taunts, tightening his grasp as she struggles against him. “I have your life in my hands, darling. I think you ought to tread carefully lest you draw even more attention to yourself than petty theft charges.”

Lilith snarled, baring her teeth as she tried and failed to snatch the paper once more. “Let me go, or I swear by the blade, I’ll stain this entire room with your blood.”

Before she could lunge again, Astarion deftly flipped her around so that her front was now pressed against the oak of the door, his body leaning into hers as his breath ghosted over her ear, “Temper, temper, little one, I’m sure we can come to an agreement.”

She couldn’t stop the shiver that ran down her spine from his touch and his scent, rosemary and bergamot wine, filling her nose until her vision felt fuzzy. His hands were now roaming her waist, his touch hot despite the layers separating them, but just as her eyes fluttered shut for the briefest of moments, she realized too late what he was doing.

Astarion stealthily stole her only weapon, dodging her angry fist with ease as he took a step back and twirled it between his fingers. Lilith, without hesitation, ran towards him to tackle him, only to trip over her own skirts and fall to the floor.

Until the snarky, white-haired magistrate caught her, of course.

“Sloppy.” He stated with disdain, his face inches from hers as she glared up at him. “I’m prepared to offer you a deal. A quid pro quo, if you will.”

“A quid what?” She scrunches her nose, looking at him strangely as he rolls his eyes again and pulls her up to his height with ease.

“Quid pro quo, darling. Tit for tat.” He explains, eyes glancing down to her lips before back up to her face. “I detest thieves and liars, always ready to lock them away to better our society, but there is something about you…”

She flinches instictevley as the back of his knuckles brush against her cheek, testing the waters. Lilith’s lips parted for him as he turned his hand over so his thumb could capture her bottom lip, teasing the soft flesh as the air around them became electric.

“Do we have a deal, little thief?” Astarion murmured, his grip on her tightening. She watched him, weighing her options though she already knew what she was going to do as the heat of her cunt seemed to turn into an inferno.

“Yes,” She agreed, her tone breathless. “Please.”

Astarion’s lip curled into a smirk at how pliant she had become. He let her go, watching as she fell to her knees before him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She looked up at him, hands on his thighs, and a slight nod was all she needed to free him from his breeches.

Lilith’s mouth watered as she saw the outline of his cock through his boxers, her hands greedily pulling them down so she could get to work. He was long with a little girth, his tip red and leaking as she took him all the way down her throat. She couldn’t stop the pride swelling up when he cursed and fisted his hands in her hair, obviously caught off guard.

“Fuck, darling,” He groaned, nails digging into her scalp as she set a slow, sensual pace. “You’re good at this.”

The praise made her preen inside as she ran her tongue from the bottom up on the underside of his cock, flicking it at the tip and causing him to shudder and thrust forward. She choked but only for a moment, relaxing her body so that she could take him.

She didn’t know how this situation had ended up like this, especially after the threats from both of them, but she wasn’t about to refuse such a gift. Especially when it came with her freedom and a hot elf’s cock in her mouth.

“Mmmph!” Lilith moaned, the vibrations making Astarion gasp and pull at her hair again. The pain was mixing intoxicatingly with her pleasure, one of her hands hastily shuffling her skirts so she could sink two fingers into herself.

“That’s right, little thief, touch yourself for me.” Astarion snarled, biting his lip when she raised her eyes to watch him. He could already feel his balls tightening with the urge to cum just from that sinful gaze. “Fuck yourself on your fingers, wishing it was my cock ruining that pretty pussy.”

His words made her pull off his cock for a second and whine loudly, curling her fingers as she chased her own high. Astarion, however, wasn’t having any of that as he wound her hair in his fist and yanked it back painfully. “Ah, ah, this is for me, darling. Remember your place.”

He grabbed his cock and rubbed it across her cheek, smearing the mixture of her saliva and his precum across her alabaster skin before shoving it roughly back into her mouth. Lilith didn’t care, though, her brain hazy as he fucked her mouth.

She continued to watch him as he ruined her, her eyes teary and bleary as his movements started to grow sloppy. He growled above her, lips pulled back in a primal snarl as he waited until he was almost to the edge to pull out.

Astarion didn’t give her time to react as he yanked her up and shoved her back to face the door, lifting her skirts and pushing aside her underwear in one fluid motion before he lined himself up with her dripping hole.

“I want to hear your cries, little thief, as I fuck you like you deserve.” He grunted into her ear, biting the tip of her pointed ear as he pushed himself all the way in with one thrust. The sensation of being stuffed full and his teeth grazing her ear made her see stars, her mouth hanging open as her nails dug into the wood door.

“Fuuuck…” She moaned, panting as he wasted no time in fucking her hard and rough. He was hitting spots inside of her she didn’t even realize she had, the feel of him dragging through her walls making her toes curl. “Feels so good, Astarion.”

He tensed for a moment at the use of his name before relaxing again, moving one of his hands to cup her face and turn it to the side so he could see how desperate she was.

“Look at how well you take your punishment, how wet your cunt is for a stranger's cock.” His tone was teasing, but she could hear how breathless he was as well, his other hand drifting to her clit. “You love this, don’t you…Lilith?”

“Fuck yes!” She cried out, her back arching as he rubbed small, fast circles on her clit. “Please, shit, please go faster.”

“Greedy little thief,” Astarion growled into her ear, pinching her clit between his fingers as he fucked her as if his life depended on it. The sound of his balls slapping against her wet sex echoed across his office as he felt that familiar tightening in his abdomen. “Do you want me to cum inside you, darling? Leave you dripping a trail all the way back home?”

“Gods, yes!” Lilith pleaded, her face red and eyes desperate as she watched him. “Fill me up, fuck me, I don’t care, just don’t stop!”

“I have no plans to, darling.” He chuckled, rubbing her clit once more until he could feel her start to flutter around his cock. It only took a few more circles until she was crying out his name, her eyes rolling back in earth-shattering euphoria. Astarion was right behind her, his hands falling to seize her hips as he thrust one, two more times before stilling as he coated her walls.

“That was…” He panted, looking up at the ceiling. “Amazing.”

Lilith could only nod, her legs shaky as he gingerly pulled out and fixed her outfit. She rested against the door for a moment, collecting herself from the best orgasm she had ever had, unbeknowing that Astarion was doing the exact same thing.

When she finally turned around, she was surprised to see how fast he had fixed his outfit and hair. Almost no evidence that he had just fucked her brains out thirty seconds ago. Well, except for the slight flush to his face.

He licked his lips and picked up her forgotten file from the floor, tearing it in two and handing it to her with a smirk. “A deal is a deal, darling. You are free to go.”

“Well, um,” She hesitated, crumpling the paper in her hands before looking back at him. “Thank you. For…this. And that.”

“The pleasure was all mine.” Astarion purred, turning to walk back to his desk while she walked to the door. As she opened it, she heard him call her name, making her turn to look at him.

“If you ever find yourself needing another file lost, do come by again. I’m sure I’ll be seeing your name again soon.” He grinned, sending her a wink and waving to her as she blushed and rushed out of the room.

Lilith walked down the hall and to the stairs, biting the inside of her cheek as she felt his cum leaking down her thigh. She would definitely be coming back.

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honeybeebard · 3 months

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You don't have an ao3 do you? Just curious bc I feel like I lose fics on Tumblr and find it easier to come back to them later when I want to reread on AO3 Obviously it is okay if you dont. Just wondering! Thanks for the lovely writing and I hope you have a lovely weekend.

Hey anon! I do!! Let me link it for you below!! I’m so glad you like my work and I hope you have a great weekend as well! 🩷🩷🩷

AO3 Link!

#anon ask #ao3

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honeybeebard · 3 months

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Other Forms of Stimulation (Gale x Reader)

Summary// After a fight in the Shadowlands that very nearly takes your life, you realize just what Gale meant when he mentioned that book about brushes with death.

(I am so down bad for this wizard and I had to write this. It has been a while since I’ve written so I hope you all like it!! I’d love to write more if anyone is interested but for now, enjoy this :)! Also, while this is in second person, the name used for you is Tav!)

WARNINGS: 18+, smut, talks of almost dying

As your sword cuts across the last of the shadow entities you stumble to the ground, your knees aching as you take in a deep breath. The only sound you can hear is your heartbeat as it thrums in your ears, your mind racing to catch up with what had just happened.

It had been an ambush that, thanks to the curse, you couldn’t have even perceived coming. You and your friends were already weak after the fight with the cursed drider and his group of cultists so the last thing you were prepared for was something like this on your way back to camp.

However, your group had made you proud as they battled the shadows fiercely. Karlach and her great axe, Gale and his magic, and even Astarion was kicking misty ass with his longbow. It would have been over within minutes if you had been more on guard, if you had realized just how far you had gotten from your friends while fighting.

A cold chill, like a kiss of death, had raced up your spine as you felt one of the wicked creatures wrap its hand around your ankle, knocking you prone and dragging you into the darkness. The scream you had let out could’ve woken the dead as you dug your nails into the rocky earth, scrambling for anything to hold onto.

Darkness wrapped around you within seconds, your mind screaming in pain as you felt this dark energy seep into your lungs and heart. It only lasted seconds at most before Gale had saved you, a gigantic fireball lighting up the sky, but to you, it felt like hours.

The warm hand that had pulled you back to the light was your lifeline, your words dying in your throat as you looked up at Gale who was surveying you for any damages. He had been so focused that he forgot about the fight, forgot about everything that wasn’t you, but you saw one of the wretched creatures coming towards him with its claws raised.

That was when you had leaped forward, using the last of your adrenaline rush to throw Gale back behind you and cleave the beast in two. It had let out an inhumane screech, turning into a vestige before your eyes.

Now, as reality comes back to you, so does the realization of just how close to death you had been. You turn to examine the damage, seeing your companions in various stages of exhaustion. Astarion was leaning on Karlach who was leaning on her axe, both of them complaining about wanting to go to bed which made you smile. When you turned to look at Gale you saw him watching you with a mixture of awe and concern, strands of hair stuck to his forehead.

Your eyes locked together, the tension from the past few weeks of adventuring and the fight coming to a head as you saw him move his gaze from your face to the rest of your body.

It could have been an innocent survey to see if you were hurt but when you saw the color of his cheeks and the way he licked his lips you knew it was something much more darker. Lustful, even. “I, um, once read a book that explained in some detail the effect the brush of danger has on one’s desires for uh…other forms of stimulation. Have you ever read anything on that subject?”

Gale’s earlier flirtation came to the forefront of your mind as the world seemed to close in on the two of you. While you were absorbed in your thoughts, Karlach and Astarion seemed to catch on to what was about to happen. Or, Astarion did at least.

“Come now Karlach, camp’s just up ahead and I don’t want to be here to hear their pathetic humping in the bushes.” The vampire snarked, his smirk growing when you sent him a warning glare. Karlach gave you and the wizard her own knowing smile, wiggling her eyebrows, before dragging Astarion away towards the nearby campfire.

“I, um, want to thank you for-” Gale began, stepping closer to you only to grunt in surprise when you all but grabbed him by the collar and went to a nearby tree, thankful for the brazier that was lit close by. “What are you doing?!”

“Thanking you for saving my life…and showing you how much I know about that book you mentioned earlier,” You smiled, pressing him up against the bark before pulling back slightly. “That is, if you want me to. I thought you were flirting earlier but if you were just going on another rant I am so sorry-”

He silenced you with a heated kiss, his soft hands coming up to cup your face gently as he spun the two of you around so that now your back was against the tree. “Hush now,” Gale murmured, his eyes dark as he slipped a hand up your blouse. “You’re talking too much.”

“That’s rich coming from you-ah!” You gasped, back arching as deft fingers went under your bra to palm at your nipples. It felt incredible. “Gods, Gale, more please.”

Gale hummed to himself, helping you rid yourself of your top and maneuvering your pants to sit around your ankles. It had been years since he had taken a mortal lover but he had been head over heels for you for a while. He intended to prove himself worthy to you. Worthy of saving you.

Worthy of you.

You pulled him from his thoughts with another kiss, this one rougher than the last. The adrenaline seemed to be wearing off but somehow the desire was only increasing. He groaned low in his throat when your tongue brushed against his, tasting the uniqueness of you before he pried himself away. A whine grew in your chest but it was cut off when you saw him sink to his knees, his large hands resting on either of your thighs.

“Gale, I…” You trailed off as you watched him through your lashes. “What are you doing?” His gaze was intense as he tugged your pants the rest of the way down along with your underwear, settling himself between your legs as his lips turned up in a wicked smirk.

“Thanking you for saving my life.” He echoed your earlier statement, his brown eyes twinkling with amusement before he trailed a single finger down your sex. You let out a huff of air when he brushed your clit, blushing as he felt just how slick you were as he whispered, “By the weave, Tav, you’re dripping.”

A whine builds in your throat once more as he continues his ministrations. He gently dips two fingers into your aching cunt, his own groan covering another one of your cries from just how tightly you grip his fingers. You can’t stop from bucking your hips forward towards him, silently begging him for more stimulation.

“Such impatience.” He chides playfully though you can see how ragged his breathing has gotten.

“Perhaps you should hurry up then, wizard.” You say through clenched teeth, your eyes fluttering close as he bristles at your challenge and suddenly buries himself between your legs, licking a long stripe up your pussy. It was divine. “Fuck, yes!”

Gale’s tongue sets a pace that immediately has your thighs shaking, your hands flying into his chestnut hair as he shows you just how talented his tongue can be outside of spellcasting. You had lovers in the past who would taste you, some hesitant and some enthusiastic, but none of them even came close to the man beneath you.

His nose bumps against your clit with each fervent lick, savoring the taste like he was a man starving. You raise one of your hands over your head, the other still fists in Gale’s hair, and start to roll your hips in time with his tongue. He moans into your cunt, his fingers digging into your thighs until you are they are going to leave bruises.

“Please, Gale, gods it feels so good,” You whimper, voice an octave higher as he finally seals his lips around your clit and sucks. “Ah!”

“That’s it, love, take what you need.” He growls, worshipping your pretty pussy as one of his hands rustles under his clothes to rub against his aching cock. It was already hard and leaking, a stain on the front of his pants that he was sure he would be embarrassed about later.

Your ears perk up at the schlik sound, your head dropping to watch as he fisted himself while eating you out. His eyes found yours, watching you in adoration, which made your hips increase in desperation. At some point you had hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, grinding deeper into his face to the point you were afraid you would smother him.

Not that you think he would mind that.

A fire starts to brew in your stomach as he holds your gaze, his own hips rutting up in a desperate attempt to find release. You can feel yourself on the edge as he starts flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue, the sounds positively sinful. And just as you find yourself tipping over into the pleasurable abyss of Gale’s tongue, your defenses come down and your tadpole greedily reaches out to his.

He flinches at first, his pace stuttering as he sees himself through your eyes. The desperate look in his eyes, the way the entire bottom half of his face is covered in your arousal as he fucks himself needily into his hand. Gale could practically feel your pleasure through the link and it spurs on his own orgasm.

You feel your voice grow hoarse from your screams of pleasure, not caring that the camp could hear as Gale continued to take everything you gave him. For a moment you swore you could see the orb in his chest pulse with untamed magic, could feel an electric current pulse through your veins right before he pulled away with a gasp of air.

Gale smiles up at you as you sag into the tree. He takes in your disheveled appearance, from your hair to your slick-covered thighs, and ingrains the vision into his memory. You have never looked more beautiful.

“I should,” You begin, chuckling when it takes you a moment to catch your breath. “I should save your life more often if that is my reward.”

“You don’t have to do anything quite so grave for us to do this again, Tav.” He murmurs, watching as you sink to your knees to join him on the ground. “I would gladly spend eternity between your thighs if you asked me. It is better than any heaven promised to me by the gods.”

Your lips turn up in a wicked smirk as you take his cum covered hand and bring it to your mouth, sucking the digits clean as you make sure to keep eye contact. Gale tenses, his mouth parting as you bat your eyelashes innocently.

“I might take you up on that offer but first…” You trail off, pulling him closer so that your lips brush his cheek. “We have to face Astarion’s teasing.”

A loud laugh escapes his chest as he shakes his head at your teasing, cupping your face and kissing you tenderly. The taste of your and his cum mingles pleasantly on his tongue and he has to stop himself from deepening the kiss.

“A small price to pay.” He smiles, standing up and holding his hand out for you. “Come, let’s show him exactly what a pleased woman looks like.”

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honeybeebard · 5 months

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The Mind Reader (Chapter 2)

Pairing: Astarion/AFAB!Reader

Eventual Background Tadpolycule

Chapter Summary: Astarion reaches a breaking point in trying to pretend he's not a vampire, unable to choke down food that tastes like ash to him night after night any longer. Especially when you are so close to him, smelling so terribly delectable.

Lucky for him, you don't mind helping him out.

Warnings: Smut 18+ content, dry humping, blood drinking, blood kink, telepathic voyeurism, masturbation. TW: mentions of past attempted sexual assault. (Full list of tags on AO3)

A/N: We've got our first bit of smutty-ness!

I've had Astarion try to jump my bones the second long rest I ever took in a playthrough without ever finding the exsanguinated boar, so I figured he wouldn't be able to wait too long before trying to come for a nibble.

I'm not sure if DnD rules state what happens when a vampire does eat normal food, so I borrowed this little bit of lore from Vampire: The Masquerade instead.

AO3

By now, you're very familiar with your companion's minds.

You found Lae'zel along the way. You were able to talk the two tieflings keeping her captive into letting her go without violence, appealing to their current frightened state. Lae'zel's mind is the only one so far you can't even take a crack at - she thinks entirely in Gith, so you can only rely on the emotion behind the thought to try and see what she's thinking.

She's mostly annoyed at you istik. But sometimes, in the moments she is most abrasive, you can tell she's deeply, deeply afraid. She's so far from home, away from familiarity, in a world where everything is so different and wrong, and now she's at risk of turning into the thing her people may hate the most.

Gale's mind can get dizzyingly complex. He likes thinking himself into a tizzy, but the kind of tizzy that's structured to him and him only. You find snippets of magical tomes and other wizardry in there, but when his mind wanders, you catch him thinking about certain passages of particularly raunchy books he's read recently. When you can't sleep, sometimes you enter his mind just to have him 'read' to you.

Shadowheart has the most intriguing mind so far. She's admitted that she had a few memories repressed for the safety of whatever mission her goddess Shar has sent her on. That statement alone had made your mental fingers, as well as the tadpole, tingle in excitement. Repressed memories, or forgotten ones, are some of your favourite. You've helped people dig up ones they've lost - for a price, of course. You've already tried digging around in Shadowheart's head, only for some force to violently push you out.

Never had the divine intervened in your telepathic sleuthing, and the fact that Shar, of all beings, pushed you out of Shaowheart's mind makes you want to dig deeper all the more.

But Shadowheart is a pleasant companion, so you repress the urge to be as intrusive as you usually are. Besides - you don't want to risk a smiting just for being nosy.

Wyll - your newest addition - has a similar mind to Shadowheart's. You can tell he's a warlock - his magic doesn't feel innate, like yours, nor does it feel intricately practiced, like Gale's. Whenever you try to find why or how he gained his powers, you can hear a feminine giggle resonate in your mind, one scolding you for sticking your nose in places it doesn't belong like a bad little pup.

Clearly, Wyll's patron has no interest in satisfying your curiosity.

Astarion's mind is the one you usually haunt. It feels comfortable, really. His inner commentary is incredibly entertaining, to the point that you've had to stop yourself from bursting into laughter at inappropriate times.

Other times, you feel the need to scold him like a child. He's unhappy with you whenever you help or comfort others - namely, the tieflings you meet at the Emerald Grove. They're a lovely bunch of people, so you have no trouble helping out. Astarion whines and stomps his feet at that, complaining about why you would waste time caring for others. You're not sure why you need to explain to him that while yes, being nice to people makes you feel good and generally reduces the amount of awfulness in the world, people are also more inclined to assist you back once you've been kind to them.

Gods, he really is terribly clueless on how to build proper alliances or bonds beyond throwing his (admittedly very pretty) body at people. You feel sorry for him, that for how much he hypes himself up as some master manipulator, he really misses the most obvious path of them all.

There's one thought he has that shocks you straight out of your skin. It happens when you help Arabella get away from Kagha, who has a rat's nest of a mind all on her own, that you hear it.

'Of course, the first and only blasted time I meet a bleeding heart hero in two hundred years is when I'm already free.'

The thought chills you. It is tinged with sadness, with pain, with anger, twisting and roiling inside him, as if Astarion had wished you had met him much, much earlier in his unlife, if only to experience a speck of your kindness. You still haven't figured out what exactly Astarion has been through - you haven't dug deep enough. Eventhough he doesn't have gods or patrons blocking off his memories, you feel a different sort of blockade there. One that makes you understand that not even he himself wants to look at those memories. You get the feeling he's not ready to face the turmoil in his own mind yet - and cracking him open might expose him to it. You've no desire to fix his messes for him, so you leave him be.

He'll open up when he wants to. Which will probably be never, if his behavior is any indication.

You're surprised he's kept up with pretending he's just a normal mortal like the rest of you as well as he has. You can hear him talking himself through your nightly meals - Gale's cooking really is delectable, but Astarion may as well be gnawing at the burnt-out logs in your campfire. Every bite tastes dry and ashy to him, tasteless and horrible. It doesn't help that you know that Astarion usually excuses himself early to wretch up whatever he ate before he goes out hunting.

Astarion's restraint is hanging on by a thread. You see him hesitating for but a second anytime you come across some bandits or anyone else that seems...edible. Like he's contemplating blowing his cover just to finally get a proper meal in.

Not that his cover is particularly great. He talks about how much he likes his meat incredibly rare far too much for that.

It's not a moral code that keeps him at bay, you've learned. Any time he contemplates biting someone, you hear a voice in his head - and it's definitely not his own.

'Thou shalt not drink the blood of thinking creatures.'

Astarion hears this sentence on a loop, increasing in intensity the closer he gets to biting anything sentient. His desire to obey it is wearing thin, however - he's so desperate for anything with sustenance, you estimate it'll only be a day or two until he slips up.

You had a long day today. You'd snooped through Kagha's mind, finding that she wasn't just planning of kicking the tieflings out to die, but was also planning to overthrow the whole damned Grove in Archdruid Halsin's absence - you plan to investigate that further, given the correspondences you've found in her things.

A cambion named Raphael ambushed you and tried to get you to sign some pact to get out of your tadpole situation. Fiendish minds are always a little tricky to read. You need to tread carefully, they can easily detect you, a lot of times, if they're not tieflings, they only think in Infernal, and somehow, reading a fiend's mind often leaves you feeling hot. Raphael appears to be like any other devil, ready to strike deals with those miserable enough to take them. You've no interest in taking him up on his offer.

And finally, you saved one of the tiefling children from being kidnapped by a bunch of harpies. It's been a turbulent day all around, and you're relieved to have finally made it back to camp, where Gale already has some delicious-smelling stew cooking.

Everyone's on edge. You've found no cure so far, every lead being a bust. You wish to seek out Auntie Ethel soon, perhaps after passing through the Blighted Village, because you don't want to leave any option uninvestigated - and because her mind was horrifying to you. She may have been nothing but sweet on the outside, but her thoughts were, as Astarion astutely put it, positively demented.

Lae'zel grows more agitated by the day, claiming you're all wasting time when what you really need is to be purified in the nearest Githyanki creche. She's been quite the headache for a while. You don't know why all of them have unanimously decided to make you their leader in all of this, but keeping this crew together can be a nightmare.

Gale hands you your dinner with a sympathetic look. You're aware that he's somewhat on to you and what you're doing, but he's been kind enough to keep your secret. It's an unspoken thing between the two of you - he's empathetic enough to understand that there has to be an underlying reason for you to be reading everybody's minds all the time, especially since you do it to just about anyone and leaves you be. He is, however, deeply concerned about you eventually getting exhausted and overloaded with the amount of minds you've been reading.

You're no stranger to sensory overload. You always teeter right on the edge of it, anyway, especially living in Baldur's Gate. There's even more minds to read through there that being on the road like this has given you a much-needed reprieve. You'd damn near forgotten what silence felt like. You almost dread going home, because you're sure it'll all be too much.

You collapse into your bedroll. Lae'zel's mind is the one you chose to be in tonight. Her soothingly repetitive thought process while she's sharpening her blades - though in an entirely foreign language - are comforting. Like white noise drowning everything else out.

Astarion is stalking about the campsite somewhere. The two of you have been getting along like a house on fire, your 'heroic' tendencies aside, so you'd definitely miss his presence and the fun flirtations between you if something decided to snatch him up. He's safe for now, though, and that's good enough for you.

__________

You're not sure when exactly your telepathy had started subconsciously activating in your sleep.

It must've been years, now. Perhaps it had been when you'd fallen asleep under the tree in your parents' garden while reading, the gentle Summer breeze having made you drowsy, and had awoken to the neighbour's son sliding his hands up your skirt, the laces of your blouse already undone, that it had become a habit.

You'd singed half his hair off in a panic. You remember your mother promised she'd do much worse to him when his parents threated consequences. Their family moved away rather quickly - and it was only afterwards that your mother taught you how to cast curses on people.

Ever since, your mind has started listening out for things approaching you while you sleep. People's intentions are clear in their head, especially when going after a seemingly unsuspecting victim.

It's why tonight, you hear him approach.

It's the damned sentence he hears anytime he wants to feed on a humanoid, loud and pulsing in his head. That alone is enough to somewhat rouse you, though you're not fully awake yet, eyes still shut.

'Will you shut up?!' You hear him scream in his head. 'She's right there, fast asleep. She'll never even know I was here, I just want a nibble, I'm so hungry, and gods, she smells so, so, good...'

Astarion kneels down beside you. He inhales deeply, as if sampling the aroma of a good wine.

'Fuck, she smells...delectable...'

It's not a thought someone about to dig in to a lavish meal would have. This isn't just about literal hunger.

It's desire.

He wants you. In more ways than one.

You hear him shift. He's hovering over you, now, telling himself he just wants a little bite. You figure you've entertained him enough, cutting in when you hear him think about just how close he is to grazing his fangs against your skin.

"Aren't you going to take me out to dinner first?"

Astarion flinches back like he's been struck. He scrambles away from you, standing up quickly as you follow him, getting on your feet yourself.

"I-it's not what it looks like!" He insists, raising his hands defense.

"It's not?" You tilt your head at him in feigned confusion. "Am I to believe you had something worse in mind that biting me in the neck? A sneaky dip between my legs, perhaps?"

"No! I just...I just needed, well. Blood."

"I gathered as much. Didn't think you'd slink on by just to have an odd suck on my neck."

Your nonchalance confuses him deeply. He expected a stake through the heart, not witty banter.

"How are you so calm about this?" He asks. He's not sure if you've got nerves of steel, or if you're downright mad.

"Please. You're not very subtle," you tell him. "You're pale as everything, you have incredibly obvious scarring around the neck, talk about raw meat more than is normal, and you don't enjoy food. I'm not sure if you can even taste it, but poor Gale's been testing out every flavour combination he can put together out here to find something you actually like. It wasn't hard to put two and two together, really."

No, he hadn't been able to taste any difference. Ash tastes like ash. Astarion still struggles to find words to say, so you continue on.

"I am, however, a little annoyed you would just go ahead and chomp on me in me sleep. You really don't have any manners, do you?" You cross your arms, give him a mock pout. "First, you greet me with a dagger instead of a 'hello', and now you want to bite me without asking. Bad little bloodsucker. I've half a mind to splash you with some holy water."

You don't know why, but the phrase 'bad little bloodsucker' does something to him. It's not a negative emotion, outright, but it's like a shiver passes through his mind, as if he's not sure if he despises it, or likes it.

"How was I supposed to know you wouldn't simply shove a stake between my ribs on the spot?" Astarion asks, incredulous. "People don't trust vampires."

"Maybe not, but aren't we all such good, trusting friends here?" Your tone is flat. You may find Astarion attractive, but you trust him about as far as you can throw him - which isn't very far unless you use a Thunderwave spell. "If I wanted to stake you, I'd have done it days ago. So, do you want to have a nibble, or not?"

Astarion blinks at you. "You're offering? Just like that?"

"Just like that," you say with a nod. "You're getting sloppy out there. Your movements are slower, heavier. I'd like you to be able to perform your best out there. You're clearly starving, and while I do have a softer heart than most, I can't afford carrying dead weight around."

"Ah. Yes, of course."

Astarion seems happy to have found a way to be useful to you. You're not sure you like that line of thinking, so you try to redirect him.

"Besides, it's just fair, really. We all get to stay full and fed, you deserve to eat your fill, too. So, go right ahead - but don't take more than you actually need."

His ears twitch in anticipation. "You have my word. Let's get comfortable then, shall we?"

Astarion helps you get settled on your bedroll again. His mind sings with excitement - he's happy that seducing you is far easier than he ever dreamed of.

You're happy to let him believe that. The poor thing seems in desperate need for some wins in life. Especially after you've heard him try to seduce his way into Shadowheart's good graces. She'd been quick to put him down, exposing him for practicing his flirtatious lines. You can throw him a bone for once.

Astarion traces his hand up the skin of your neck. His touch tingles pleasantly, and you turn your head to the side to give him better access. He smiles at the courtesy, before he grips your shoulders and goes for it.

His fangs pierce through your skin. The pain is sharp and icy, but it quickly fades to pure pleasure. Astarion moans against your neck as he gulps down your blood like a glutton. He's got you caged in underneath him, and swift as anything, he's got your thighs hooked around his legs.

He's hard. Desperately, painfully hard.

His length presses up against you, grinding into your hips. Any other time, you'd be ready to shove your dagger into your assailant's flesh, but Astarion has no intent of doing anything to you that you wouldn't want.

In fact, he seems genuinely worried that you don't seem receptive to this.

'What...why isn't she reacting?'

There's a storm raging in his mind right now. He's frustrated that his plan seemingly isn't working out the way he'd hoped. He's concerned that you're so frozen, that perhaps you're genuinely terrified of him - that'd not only put a wrench in his plans, but...

...but that'd mean you may not even like him.

That panicked stream of thought intrigues you the most. It's the part of his brain that you can always hear when he's particularly drawn to your scent, a feral part of his vampiric mind. You don't know much about vampires, but you do know their olfactory senses are much sharper than a mortal's, and you have caught Astarion trying to subtly sniff at you when you're out and about. You're not sure if vampires have bonding or...mating habits, but Astarion seems distraught that you, who smells so alarmingly irresistable to him, could possibly dislike him. He ruts against you, in hopes of drawing something, anything out of you.

'Did I misread all of this? Did I do something wrong? Does she not want me, after all, even with all this flirting between us?' Astarion laps at your neck, brows furrowed in a strange mixture of confusion and bliss. 'Her blood sings for me, it tastes excited, electrified...surely, she must be enjoying this. Right?'

Poor thing.

You were holding yourself back because you didn't want to give him his 'win' too easily, but with the way he's thinking himself into knots, it's hard not to feel just a little guilty for being so mean. The next time he grinds his hips into yours, you relent. It feels good to have him rut against you like this, and you let out a soft moan, careful not to wake the others.

Instantly, Astarion's mind clears, elated that he's managed to pull through. His thoughts take a heated turn, now, as you realize he wants nothing more than to devour you whole while impaling you on his cock. He wants your whimpers, your moans, your voice screaming his name in total ecstasy.

You'd like that. Fuck, you'd like that. But your devious little fantasies are disrupted by the feeling of surprise on his end, as if it's the first time in a while he actually enjoyed physical sensations like this.

You shake yourself out of your lightheaded stupor. Your vision's already gone spotty a few times.

"That's enough," you say, gently pushing up against his chest.

Astarion's too blissed out to notice. Another way, then.

"Astarion," you husk, reaching up to ghost your fingertips over his pointed ear. "That'll be enough for today."

The sensation of your touch is like a shock to his system. You feel his length twitch in excitement against you. Interesting, that something like that could dismantle him. But it is enough, and Astarion quickly draws back after licking your neck clean and sits on his haunches before you.

"Right. Of course."

You sit up as well, watching in fascination as your blood trickles down his chin.

"That was...amazing," he pants.

"I'm sure it was."

Neither of you mention that you're the first sentient creature he's ever fed on. You reach your hand up to his face.

"May I?" You ask. He nods, though he's not sure what exactly you have planned.

You wipe up the blood spilled on his face with your thumb.

"Are you always such a messy eater?" You question, a smile teasing at the corners of your lips.

You draw back to admire the wet, scarlet stains on your hand, and Astarion's eyes follow you curiously. His tongue darts out to lick his lips, clearly, he'd rather not waste any more of your delicious blood.

You have a better idea.

You stick your thumb in your mouth and lick up the blood yourself, your eyes never breaking contact with his.

Instantly, Astarion is on you again. He wrenches your hand from you and instead engulfs you in a searing kiss. His arms crush you to his form, squeezing the air from your lungs as he plunges his tongue into your mouth to lick up the remnants of your blood combined with your spittle. His mind is not forming words - all you hear is a high, desperate sound, and feel a burning need in his brain.

He stops himself from doing anything further, though you can tell it takes every ounce of self control he has not to just take you right here, out in the open. He tells himself that his behavior must be terribly strange to you, and that he should stop if he wants his plan to keep working.

"Apologies," he husks after breaking off the kiss. "I got swept up in the moment."

"No worries. How do you feel?"

"I feel...strong," he says, as if not sure how to put his emotions into words. "Happy."

You have to bite your tongue to not add 'horny' and 'feral' to that list. You're happy he feels better, though.

"That's good. I hope to see you fighting at your best tomorrow."

"You have my word."

Your blood is rushing through him. He looks refreshed, his cheeks seem less gaunt, and you swear you see the hints of a flush dust across his face and the tips of his ears.

Astarion bows his head at you. "Now, invigorating as you are, I'll be off to find something more filling. Sweet dreams, darling."

"Happy hunting, Astarion."

He stops before he leaves you entirely. "This is a gift, you know. I won't forget it."

He stalks off into the woods while you crawl back into your bedroll. He tries seeming confident as he steps away, but you know better. Once he believes he's out of earshot, he plops himself down against a tree and undoes his breeches.

You can still hear his thoughts all the way out there. Astarion imagines what he would have loved to do while he had you beneath him. He envisions himself tearing the laces of your slacks, ripping them down your delightful legs, and diving between your plush thighs for a taste. He imagines the way you would writhe under his tongue, how you would whine and moan, as he pumps his fist around his leaking cock.

You try to block him out. It's not working. His mind is too loud to do so, crying out for you. You reach out to the others' minds. They're all sound asleep - Astarion was meant to be on watch.

Fuck it.

You cut your losses and slide your hand between your legs. You're absolutely drenched with arousal - you'd liked his bite more than you'd ever openly admit. It's no hard feat to reach your peak, with Astarion's fantasy of pushing you facedown into your bedroll so he can mount you like a beast in heat so clear in your mind. You only curse that your telepathy won't let you see through his eyes - you'd need the tadpole for that and then he'd notice you were listening in.

Astarion has no idea that, the second he climaxes, spurts of his hot seed spilling over his hand as he cries out your name and a series of curses, you are tipping over the edge yourself. Your panties are ruined with your release as you come, his name whispered like a secret into your pillow.

XxxxX

@hyperfixationwhore

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honeybeebard · 5 months

Text

Helping You Remember (Enver Gortash x DarkUrge!Tav)

Summary// Ever since the crash Tav had been stripped of her memories, with nothing but her name and this violent urge inside her body wreaking havoc with every step she took. It was no small feat to control it, or at least tame it, and just when she thought she had gotten it under control a new foe, or an old ally, comes to remind her where she came from.

(I didn’t expect my first fic in the BG3 fandom to be about Gortash. In fact, I have several half-written projects of other characters but for whatever reason this man has recently taken a hold of me and I’m afraid I’ve sunk too deep. This was originally going to be a one-shot but it’s taken on a life of its own and will now be a multi-chapter!

This first chapter is heavy on angst but the next chapter will be better, I promise! I just imagine this is how your companions would react to the news as well as how Gortash gets his foot in the door of reclaiming you. I hope you like it! I normally write for ACOTAR so this was so much fun!) WARNINGS: Heavy angst, Mentions of past Dark Urge actions

It had been a long, painful journey to get to Baldur’s Gate but Tav had made it. Her companions had made it. Everyone was alive and mostly well, save for the tadpole in their brains, the end of the world, and the recent discovery of Tav’s family history. As they made their way to Wrym’s Rock Fortress it was the only thing her mind could focus on. Astarion, Karlach, and Wyll were all too happy to chat about being back but she couldn’t stop thinking about what she was.

Bhaalspawn.

Parents throughout Baldur’s Gate told stories of her kind to warn their children of the dangers of the world. She felt all the sins of her kin crawling up her back, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze in fear that they would see her for who she was. A monster. It didn’t matter how hard she fought the Urge inside her… her fate seemed to be already written in the stars. How could she save herself from this? She hadn’t even realized they had made it to the doors of the fortress until Astarion gently nudged her arm, giving her a concerned look as she was torn from her thoughts. “Are you alright, darling? You’re looking a bit clammy.” His voice was smooth but she could see the worry in his eyes. He was the first one she had told when she found out, seeking comfort in his arms just as he had done back in the Shadow-Cursed Lands. They didn’t have an official title to whatever their relationship was, sometimes friends and other times lovers, but they were each other’s closest confidants. He understood her better than herself sometimes and he had assured her that whatever she was facing, he would be there to help. So it pained her to lie through her teeth as she mumbled, “Fine. Let’s just get this over with. Hopefully, we can kill two birds with one stone.” Astarion knew she was lying but didn’t press her further, his shoulders tensing slightly as he gave a curt nod and entered the building with the others. The air was buzzing with excitement as everyone awaited the coronation of Lord Gortash. His posters were everywhere, most people hailing him as a hero, but from what she had heard from Karlach he was anything but that. And especially after discovering him at Moonrise, netherstone in the gauntlet decorating his hand, she only felt that anger within her rise more at the ignorance of the city. There was something else too, like a flash of nostalgia, but it flitted from her mind before she could grasp it. Tav shook her head as they made their way up the stairs, preparing for anything as they arrived at the grand hall.

Rows of seats lined the sides as a dark red carpet decorated the ground, leading all the way up to where Duke Ravengard and Gortash stood. Wyll visibly bristled at the sight of his father, his hand steady on the edge of his blade while Karlach slowly began to grow hotter and hotter at the sight of her former friend.

“I can practically taste his blood from here.” Karlach seethed, her fists clenching. Astarion gave Tav a worrying look, wondering if now, underneath the watchful gaze of multiple Flaming Fists and the Steel Watch, was the right time to pick a fight.

Tav gave him a reassuring smile, turning to Karlach with a solemn expression. “I know you want nothing more than to rip his heart out but here might not be the best place to do it. Let’s hear him out first.” She speaks slowly, hoping to calm the tiefling.

“Hear him out? He speaks nothing but lies! There is nothing he could say that could be of use to us.” Karlach snarls, turning her heated eyes to her and frowning.

“Just trust me on this, okay?” Tav pleaded. “I promise that you will be the first one to rip him limb from limb.”

She seemed to calm slightly at Tav’s reassurance, her flames dulling as she nodded once. “I’ll hold you to that, soldier.” Karlach says, following in step as the four of them begin to walk up the aisle.

Gortash is the first to spot them, his lips turning up in a smile as he spies Karlach first. “My eyes must be deceiving me! Karlach, my dear girl, come and be welcome.” His voice was dripping with arrogance, his arms spread wide in greeting.

“I’m not your dear anything!” Karlach snaps, her hand immediately falling to her weapon. However, just as Tav tries to step in front of them, his dark eyes turn to her and widen in surprise.

“And with you, my, why it’s my favorite bhaalspawn!” He grins as he comes closer to Tav, eyeing her up and down. “I never thought I would see you again either.”

“Wait, you know each other?” Karlach frowns, turning to look at Tav with betrayal in her eyes.

“I swear I have no memory of him Karlach. I would’ve told you.” She stresses, holding up her hands in innocence while shaking her head rapidly.

“Oh, I’d forgotten,” Gortash says smugly, chuckling to himself. “Your memories are quite lost aren’t they? Orin told me she’d made a fool of you. And to think you two have traveled together all this time and she hadn’t the faintest idea that you were one of my nearest and dearest.”

This time it was Astarion who spoke, his eyes hard as his jaw clenched. “What do you mean nearest and dearest?” There was a sense of urgency under his tone, something that Tav felt as well as she tried desperately to remember what Gortash already knew.

The dark-haired Lord smirked, taking a deep breath as he turned back to Tav and began to tell fill in the missing puzzle pieces of her memory. “You and I initiated this plot. No one could stand against the Dead Three so, after obtaining the crown, enslaving the brain, and creating a false God to rule the masses, there was little to stand in our way.”

Tav stumbled back a step, her head throbbing and pulse racing. No, she couldn’t have. She couldn’t have formed this plot, couldn’t have worked with Gortash. It wasn’t who she was. Was it?

“No. I would never.” She whispered, her eyes full of anger while Gortash ignored her and carried on weaving the tale.

“In Bhaal’s name, you set your bloody dagger to cause panic in the streets, killing in the Absolute’s name,” He smiled again as if recalling a fond memory. It made her want to vomit. “It was all going well until you had vanished, Orin claiming to be the new voice of Bhaal and taking over. She, unlike you, couldn’t control herself. She made a mess of things.”

Her stomach lurched, her knees buckling as bits and pieces of her past flashed through her mind. The blood, the screams, the wicked smile of her reflection as she all but bathed in the slain bodies of the innocent. Astarion noticed her trembling, reaching out to steady her as she tried to block out everything.

“Have you gone soft?” Gortash asked as he stepped closer to Tav, examining her guilt filled gaze with a disappointed look. “I find that hard to believe. One’s true nature will always rise to the top.”

“That is not my true nature.” She hissed through gritted teeth, rage heating her blood as she pushed out of Astarion’s grasp and walked towards the man before her. “Take it back. Tell me you’re lying.”

“I know you know the truth, Tav.” He coos as if talking to a startled babe. “I can see it in your eyes. That Urge deep within you, clawing at its cage to be unleashed. We had something great, are something great, until you were taken. I tolerated Orin, tolerated Ketheric, but I liked you. We can still finish this together.”

As he finishes his sentence one of his hands comes up to rest on her arm, an intimate gesture that sends feelings of disgust and warmth through her body. She hated this, hated him, hated how little control she felt. Once again she felt a battle in her body between the past and the present.

“Don’t touch me.” Tav growls, pulling away from him as if she had been burned. “I want nothing to do with you, with this plot. If anything this has only solidified my plans to kill you.”

She could feel Karlach’s approval from behind her, could feel her own body tensing for a fight only to falter when Gortash barked out a harsh laugh.

“Oh, my dear bhaalspawn, you have no choice.” His eyes were suddenly hard and his tone like ice as he gestured around him. “The quakes are a clear warning. Without all three netherstones ruling the brain, it will break free and complete the Grand Design. Your choices are to join me and rule or subject this entire city, yourself and companions included, to becoming illithids.”

All of her companions shifted uneasily, looking at Tav for guidance. She tried to run through all the scenarios, looking for an out that didn’t include digging herself further into her past self, but the choices remained the same.

“Together though,” Gortash straightens, giving her a charming smile. “Together we can control the brain. Renew our old partnership.”

“What kind of partnership?” Tav asked cautiously, hating how weak she sounded. Astarion cleared his throat beside her, pleading with her not to do this, but she ignored him. If she was going to find another way out of this she at least needed to get all angles of the problem…and that started with hearing Gortash’s bargain.

“Let’s discuss it somewhere more private, hm? Away from the prying eyes of both nobles and…your group.” He looked behind her distastefully. “Meet me in my office after the ceremony. Alone.”

And before she can say another word he struts back to the middle of the room, letting the Duke continue with the blasphemous ceremony. Tav immediately motions for her friends to follow her towards the back, ignoring the words of Wyll’s father as she finally takes a moment to breathe.

“You can’t possibly be considering partnering with him.” Astarion huffs. “Please tell me you aren’t that stupid.”

“Look at what he’s done to this city, to my father,” Wyll adds, crossing his arms. “An alliance with Gortash is like asking to be stabbed in the back. He cannot be trusted.” “You’re damn right he can’t be trusted!” Karlach fumes, gnashing her teeth together. “That man is worse than a devil, Tav! He’s just trying to get in your head!”

“Enough!” Tav snapped, rubbing her temples as the pounding returned. Everyone’s opinions, including Gortash’s, were starting to make her head spin. “I know this is…a lot. I can’t process it all myself-”

“What, that you and Gortash created this entire cult, this entire problem that is threatening the lives of millions of people?” Karlach’s voice was rising with each word, her flames growing by the second. “I knew you were a bhaalspawn but Bhaal’s chosen? You are half the bloody reason we are here in the first place!”

“Karlach-” Wyll tries to intervene but she brushes him off, stalking towards Tav and jamming a red hot finger in her chest.

“No, don’t Karlach me.” She snarls, glaring down at her. “Did you not hear what she has done? The acts she committed in Bhaal’s name? Amnesia or not, you all have to see how dangerous she is.”

“I’m not!” Tav protested, tears pricking her eyes as she felt their gazes on her. It was her worst fear realized. “I’m not a monster, I don’t remember doing any of those things. I would never…”

“And yet here you are, ready to make nice with the viper.” Karlach spits, standing to her full height while regarding her with revulsion. “I need time to think.”

Before Tav can say anything or reach out to plead for forgiveness, she storms off back to the entrance. Wyll looks between the two of them, his eyes full of sadness before he simply shakes his head and follows Karlach. The only one left is Astarion who is staring at her with an unreadable expression.

“Star…” She whispers, throat tight as she tries to reach for him only to physically recoil when he moves away from her hand. It wasn’t much, just a slight sway to the side, but it was enough to make the knife in her gut twist deeper. “Please.”

“I…I need a moment.” He murmurs, bowing his head before following the same path as her companions. Tav can’t stop herself from sinking to the floor, her soul aching as she brings her knees to her chest and cries. She doesn’t care that she’s in a room full of nobles, doesn’t care that everyone is watching her finally break, she just doesn’t care anymore.

Her friends, her entire world ever since escaping that damned nautiloid, had abandoned her. They had found out who she had been and had left her here, alone. Tav wanted to hate them, wanted to curse them, and never see them again, but could she blame them?

She was part of the reason this was all happening in the first place. She had caused all this pain, all this death, in the name of her father. Even if she didn’t remember it that didn’t absolve her of the guilt. If roles were reversed, she would probably question her relationship with the person as well.

“It’s all my fault.” She whispers, pressing her palms against her eyes harshly. The tears were hot as they ran down her cheeks, her shoulders shaking. Tav was so caught up in her emotions she didn’t hear the footsteps approaching her.

It wasn’t until she felt cold, metal claws tip her chin up that she finally came to her senses, blinking up at the man who had just revealed all her immoral acts as if they were nothing.

“My poor little bhaalspawn,” He purred, using his other hand to pull her up to stand. “All alone again.”

Tav sniffled, feeling vulnerable as he wiped a tear away with his thumb. Her entire body felt numb as he pulled her into his arms, shushing her with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

“Come.” He ordered. “Let me save you once more.”

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