homestuck--quotes - Tumblr blog

homestuck--quotes · 11 years

Conversation

A very lengthy collection of the DAVE_EBUBBLES from [S] ACT 6 INTERMISSION 3

(if you dont want to scroll past this on your dash/tag, press 'j')

DAVE_EBUBBLES: keep twisting junior all you get is clicks

DAVE_EBUBBLES: and

DAVE_EBUBBLES: not even he can convey the intention with his quickspun wit

DAVE_EBUBBLES: do you hear what youre saying oh my god

DAVE_EBUBBLES: oh also this cd which is 100 but i didnt drop cause it seemed like a stiff allocation of resources for now

DAVE_EBUBBLES: but he sounds like a total badass

DAVE_EBUBBLES: the thing with time travel is

DAVE_EBUBBLES: and yet as much as that guys the tooliest dude i could ever hope to meet he and i would still get along famously

DAVE_EBUBBLES: pretty cool guy here

DAVE_EBUBBLES: shit is wicked bananas i am telling you

DAVE_EBUBBLES: an antagonism ninja

DAVE_EBUBBLES: chumpelstiltskin

DAVE_EBUBBLES: an obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face

DAVE_EBUBBLES: like i know you dream about me enough already

DAVE_EBUBBLES: i got serves like a dude on butler island

DAVE_EBUBBLES: but i guess i forgot in the heat of battle

DAVE_EBUBBLES: jade hey

DAVE_EBUBBLES: cozy is a goddamn adjective

DAVE_EBUBBLES: sports

DAVE_EBUBBLES: unless you were planning on sailing that ogre down the mississippi with a runaway slave

DAVE_EBUBBLES: but i was all like IM A LITTLE BLACK RAIN CLOUD BITCH WATCH ME CLIMB

DAVE_EBUBBLES: are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory

DAVE_EBUBBLES: i mean damn

DAVE_EBUBBLES: dont expect him to rat him out either because of the "moirail" junk

DAVE_EBUBBLES: baboon?

DAVE_EBUBBLES: the glittering civilization before you was built on angry apefuck power alone

DAVE_EBUBBLES: naknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknak

DAVE_EBUBBLES: so why is the cat code so terrible now

DAVE_EBUBBLES: or semi-semi ironic

DAVE_EBUBBLES: ok im in

DAVE_EBUBBLES: my coolness is named after a dead president plus his middle initial to make it sound extra legit

DAVE_EBUBBLES: i mean like personal tragedies notwithstanding

DAVE_EBUBBLES: this fuckin thing

DAVE_EBUBBLES: cant explain to me why this aint condescension to think ill shit a brick

DAVE_EBUBBLES: anyway what do you think

DAVE_EBUBBLES: to piss him off

DAVE_EBUBBLES: juggalos

DAVE_EBUBBLES: youre the one who should be wrist deep in puppet ass

DAVE_EBUBBLES: he made this stupid leather bib for me out of a goddamn horse

DAVE_EBUBBLES: reverse psychology mind games sorts of machiavellian bullshit

DAVE_EBUBBLES: see not everybody always means literally what they say the way john and jade always do

DAVE_EBUBBLES: :V

DAVE_EBUBBLES: im more real actually cause ive been through some heavy shit already hopping around on red hot gears and i-beams for like a year

DAVE_EBUBBLES: needs to get worked over by some stuffy prude at finishing school

DAVE_EBUBBLES: caw caw motherfuckers

DAVE_EBUBBLES: like frankensteins incontinent fucking ghost

DAVE_EBUBBLES: ahahahahaha

DAVE_EBUBBLES: the kinds of wordtech ascend to godhood and look down on us patriarchally like urban watermarks in the sky

DAVE_EBUBBLES: its mostly pretty stupid and useless

DAVE_EBUBBLES: i dont know beach the thing first i guess

DAVE_EBUBBLES: why are you drawing all these human dicks

DAVE_EBUBBLES: the truth is a mystery tucked behind the pursed lips of a shitty riddler

DAVE_EBUBBLES: put their blowchutes to use and up-suck it

DAVE_EBUBBLES: ok so 2=6 awesome joke hahahaha

DAVE_EBUBBLES: even worse im wasting a killer fursona here

DAVE_EBUBBLES: turning out insane corkscrew haymakers of a billion dancing vienna sausages strong

DAVE_EBUBBLES: well youre you

DAVE_EBUBBLES: itll be called

DAVE_EBUBBLES: dont deny it bro its obvious

DAVE_EBUBBLES: the smug cracker parlor wiggle

DAVE_EBUBBLES: kinda feels like we should be drinking our asses off here

DAVE_EBUBBLES: ill be the fuckin one man welcome wagon for the john and jade teen old people and also our mom thats the plan

DAVE_EBUBBLES: i was worried we were on the verge of getting some shit done

DAVE_EBUBBLES: (yeah we know fucking squat)

DAVE_EBUBBLES: "OH SHIT EVERYONE IN THE MINIVAN"

DAVE_EBUBBLES: oh shit youre kidding

DAVE_EBUBBLES: slammer means jail

DAVE_EBUBBLES: BOOYEAH

DAVE_EBUBBLES: ok yes that image is definitely conclusive proof of something and is 100% understandable by anyone who looks at it

DAVE_EBUBBLES: your mirthful messiahs

DAVE_EBUBBLES: were are basically bruce willis and ben affleck from johns shitty crappy movie

DAVE_EBUBBLES: if youre gonna spit that kind of bravado at me im just saying put in a rhyme

DAVE_EBUBBLES: always low to the ground gettin a good prowl on

DAVE_EBUBBLES: ive been fuck deep in alt daves before

DAVE_EBUBBLES: am i supposed to break that thing

DAVE_EBUBBLES: this is the worst shitting thing ive ever seen

DAVE_EBUBBLES: im grieving to the max like a widow on dead husband island

DAVE_EBUBBLES: AWESOME

DAVE_EBUBBLES: all your books are bizarre and terrible

DAVE_EBUBBLES: what happened with the monster that is totally definitely in your room did you kill it

DAVE_EBUBBLES: hey where are you

DAVE_EBUBBLES: thats the spooky thing about penis ouija you can never be sure who did the dicks

DAVE_EBUBBLES: you dont seem to harbor any sympathy for the fact that ive burrowed fuck deep into lively, fluffy muppet buttock

DAVE_EBUBBLES: in the athletic arena of competitive achievement

DAVE_EBUBBLES: you told me how it worked all christopher ribinning my ignorant ass about that egg

DAVE_EBUBBLES: even crazy hard dudes like my bro slash weird covert biological ghost dad

DAVE_EBUBBLES: im gonna do some sort of acrobatic fucking PIROUETTE off the handle and win like a medal or some shit

DAVE_EBUBBLES: i was a little bogged down

DAVE_EBUBBLES: welp

DAVE_EBUBBLES: no one likes a basketball hog

DAVE_EBUBBLES: in the epic swaddle of legendary puppet taint

DAVE_EBUBBLES: asshole thinks its candy

DAVE_EBUBBLES: who

DAVE_EBUBBLES: youre probably burning your nutjob meow book to spite her too arent you

DAVE_EBUBBLES: just roll with it and see what happens

DAVE_EBUBBLES: skepticism is the crutch of cinematic troglodytes

DAVE_EBUBBLES: maybe even too deadpan but its a start keep at it

DAVE_EBUBBLES: im thinking none of that was actually ironic that was all pretty straighup wasnt it

DAVE_EBUBBLES: dont make me bop you on the head with a wizard

DAVE_EBUBBLES: hey bro check it out im wokring on some new rhymes

DAVE_EBUBBLES: but theyre all in outer space being insane badasses

DAVE_EBUBBLES: be honest with me cause im busy

DAVE_EBUBBLES: in bruse almighty. whoops, different bruce from the one i just mentioned

DAVE_EBUBBLES: its hot as the sizzle side of the steak

DAVE_EBUBBLES: time/shades lets go

DAVE_EBUBBLES: fist bump my future self til i got bloody knuckles and write you an even sappier bday note in my own blood

DAVE_EBUBBLES: so if youre done whipping that ogre like a rented mule

DAVE_EBUBBLES: shes mackin on me so hard all the time i start to feel embarrassed for her

DAVE_EBUBBLES: if not then we just bail everyone out yet again

DAVE_EBUBBLES: its awesome where you put that

DAVE_EBUBBLES: instead of leaving them trapped under three inches of fucking yarn

DAVE_EBUBBLES: where future me is now helping dave and we just keep playing

DAVE_EBUBBLES: THATS REALLY ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER

DAVE_EBUBBLES: actually no envermind it doesnt explain that

DAVE_EBUBBLES: like the new maconnohey jam where he smirks and like all but deliberately draws the audiences ire like a goddamn magnetron

DAVE_EBUBBLES: i dont cry

DAVE_EBUBBLES: went and perved up some sleeping girls room to take my mind of it

DAVE_EBUBBLES: this probably comes close but that doesnt make it not lame as hell

DAVE_EBUBBLES: dog it as long as possible

DAVE_EBUBBLES: the fuckin welsh sword dave broke

DAVE_EBUBBLES: i cant read this shit im sorry

DAVE_EBUBBLES: (be passin out yarn like cheap cigars)

DAVE_EBUBBLES: im going to find somewhere to pee

DAVE_EBUBBLES: like a few hours into her magic stupid quest

DAVE_EBUBBLES: dont tell john this but i think he might have been right about the puppets

DAVE_EBUBBLES: yes those exact bitches

DAVE_EBUBBLES: yeah case the fuck closed

DAVE_EBUBBLES: we both know theyre fresher than your moms change of drawers and tighter than when shes wearin them

DAVE_EBUBBLES: ok im gonna change out of this wet suit and into a dry shut your fucking mouth

DAVE_EBUBBLES: its like a grubby baton in some huge douchebag marathon

DAVE_EBUBBLES: like hey mom dad theres a dinosaur or a ghost or whatever in my room. "yeah right junior go back to bed"

DAVE_EBUBBLES: shut up and draw another penis

DAVE_EBUBBLES: ill probably forget half the shit i said anyway

DAVE_EBUBBLES: fuck im tearing up my ishades are gonna fry

DAVE_EBUBBLES: oh fuck there i am hiding behind that column

DAVE_EBUBBLES: the only thing im getting is out of this goddamn idiot cauldorn here

DAVE_EBUBBLES: im your 300 pound matronly freight-train

#dave ebubbles #DAVE_EBUBBLES #DAVE-EBUBBLES #dave strider #dave strider quote #dave strider quotes #long post #act 6 intermission 3 #im sorry about how long it is tho

24 notes · View notes