Last Seen Blogs
chelyeum-blog
Untitled
mallowjiccesyt
e l e c t r i c ⚡f i n g e r s
fandomfeelswithhellagayotps
fandomfeelswithhellagayotps
ballata
SPQR
Text
Aragorn: Ever since we are here, everyone’s had gastric issues, cold sweat and abdominal pain.
Merry: Yeah, what if the Count Dracula’s tale is real? What if there is some vampire named Dracula who wants to ensnare us?
Gandalf: Don’t be ridiculous, Merriadoc. Nothing like that is possible.
Naira: Count Dracula? In your cases more like Count Diarrhoeacula, if something.
Legolas: Count-…WHAT?!
#incorrect lotr#lord of the rings incorrect quotes#lotr incorrect quotes#aragorn#legolas#lotr#merry brandybuck#hobbits#gandalf#lord of the rings#incorrect lotr quotes#incorrect quotes
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thranduil: I know that they are gathering. Stay here, and don’t let them know that we know about them. That’s an order, Marchwarden.
Haldir: Yes, lord, you know that they are gathering, but you don’t know why. I’m going there to take a look nonetheless.
Thranduil: They are gathering for attack!
Haldir: And when will they attack?
Legolas: ..Spring. It’s always spring,……right?
Haldir *chuckling*: I’ll go there.
#incorrect lotr#lord of the rings incorrect quotes#lotr incorrect quotes#haldir#legolas#thranduil#lotr shitpost#lotr#lord of the rings
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gandalf: I see that Naira always ends up with a nasty comment…
Aragorn: Oh, she always begins with one too.
Frodo: If even one! She told me that I am stupid!
Naira: No, I did not. I only said that wisdom has been chasing you, but you were always faster.
Gandalf:
Aragorn:
Naira: And that’s a compliment…just in between us…
#incorrect lotr#lord of the rings incorrect quotes#lotr incorrect quotes#aragorn#gandalf#lord of the rings#lotr shitpost#the fellowship of the ring#the two towers#the return of the king#frodo baggins#lotr frodo
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Naira entering the Hall of Fire:
Sorry for being late, my optician’s office was crowded…
Legolas running to her and grabbing her face: What’s on your face?! Are you in pain? Haldir! Aragorn! Come here someone!! She is dying!
Naira: Legolas, those are g-…
Aragorn tripping over a bench: Everyone, stay calm! Naira don’t move! I’m gonna save you! And for Gods sake don’t touch your face!!
Naira, pushing Legolas aside: Seriously, calm down, I’m not in pain!
Haldir just sitting on a window sill, laughing and watching them trying to wrestle Naira down: Perhaps you should listen to her from time to time…
#incorrect lotr#lord of the rings incorrect quotes#haldir#lotr incorrect quotes#aragorn#legolas#haldir of lorien#modern au#lord of the rings#lotr shitpost#lotr
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
*Naira walking through the woods of Lothlórien*
Haldir: Shouldn’t you be sleeping or something?
Naira: Shouldn’t you be patrolling borders or something?
Haldir:
Naira:
Naira: Besides…have you heard Gimli? He could wake up the dead with his snoring…
Haldir: Yes, that’s what I have been waiting for.
#incorrect lotr#lord of the rings incorrect quotes#thismusthavehapenned#haldir#lotr incorrect quotes#gimli#gimli son of gloin#haldir of lórien
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
*Orophin, singing*
*Legolas cheering him up and humming into the rhythm*
Naira: Do you guys take requests?
Legolas, confidently: Yup, go on!
Naira, in exhausted voice: Please, stop
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Frodo: … I need rest! We have walked for two days by now!
Naira, Aragorn and Legolas unisono: NO! We have rested two hours ago!
Frodo: But I am really tired! Everyo-
Naira: Cry a little louder, please.
Legolas:
Frodo:
Aragorn: Frodo, understand, we are already too late.
Legolas: Aragorn, instead of talking, go wash yourself. You stink like a horse shit.
Aragorn: Seriously, Legolas?
Boromir: Maybe we should let the little ones rest fo-…
Naira glaring at Boromir, her eye twitching: You are adopted!
#incorrect lotr#lord of the rings incorrect quotes#frodo baggins#aragorn#boromir#legolas#thismusthavehapenned
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Naira on a tree branch: You know how people won’t shut up about happy endings?
Haldir: Oh no…
Naira, not losing her spirits: …yeah, so when Frodo got stabbed on the Weathertop, then got healed, yaddy yadda, and I laughed into his face, suddenly I am a bitch? This does not sound right…
Haldir, done by now: Not again, please.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Legolas: Let us speculate…is two hours a long period of time?
Aragorn: Are we talking elves or men?
Gandalf: The time perception differs from one race to another. Meanwhile for you, elf, two hours can be a blink of an eye, for humans it ca-…
Naira, braiding her hair: Training? No way. Talking to Frodo? Hell yes.
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gimli, angrily staring at Éomer pointing his sword at him: And as our dearest friend Naira once said… get fucked, Éomer!
Naira, exhausted: I never said something like that, Gimli.
Haldir: I am afraid, you did.
Naira, mockingly: I aM afRAiD yOu dID.
Aragorn, sighing: You yelled “GET FUCKED YOU MIRKWOODISH CUNT!!!!” to Thranduil… at least six times, when we have been in Mirkwood.
#incorrect lotr#lotr incorrect quotes#lord of the rings incorrect quotes#haldir#lotr gimli#aragorn#eomer
76 notes
·
View notes