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Black Friday Lingerie Sales:
If you are making the transition into high end s*xwork now is one of the best times of the year to buy lingerie and begin building your wardrobe. Summer sales, anniversary sales, sample sales and Black Friday/after Christmas sales was when I would buy almost all of my lingerie when I was first starting out.
Most of these sites/designers are a bit on the pricey side (which is another reason to buy when it's on sale) but I put a few mid and lower cost options/brands in here as well because not everyone has Agent Provocateur money.
Agent Provocateur - 30% off site wide (use code AP30) this may not seem like much but if you purchase from their outlet (pieces that are already discounted) it will add up nicely (doing it this way and you can literally buy a set for less than $100).
Bluebella - up to 50% off site wide definitely check out their "outlet" section as well
Bloomingdales - 25% off selected items
Curvy Kate - up to 50% off site wide - great store if you are plus size
Dita Von Teese - 20% off and though that may not be much, her sales page is definitely worth checking out
Fleur du Mal - an EXTRA 30% off of sale items with code 30FLEURYOU
For Love and Lemons (on their site, not VS) - 30% off everything, use code CYBERWEEK (if you're into very feminine, pink, "girly" lingerie, definitely check out their sales page)
Harlow and Fox - 30% off all in stock items (they don't have a large collection of in stock items because their lingerie is usually made to order but I wanted to mention them because their bras go all the way to G cup)
Journelle - 20% off everything which includes their sales page
Moxy Intimates - $10 off $50, $25 off $100, $45 off 150 + free US shipping
Net-A-Porter - up to 50% off select styles
Playful Promises - up to 85% off of everything
Revolve - up to 70% off
Saks Fifth Avenue - up to 80% off of select styles
Studio Pia is having a sale as well (the discount depends on the collection).
The Outnet - an additional 25% off of everything with code BLACKFRIDAY
And my absolute favorite:
HONEY BIRDETTE IS 50% OFF select styles (just stop reading and go right now)
Honorable Mentions:
Ann Summers - up to 50% off everything
Yandy - up to 80% off sitewide
I know Ann Summers and Yandy are not considered high end, however, I'm mentioning them because if you need photos, doing online s*xwork or need additional pieces to create content to post on your social media, these 2 sites can really come in handy. However, if you are really slim and/or have a small chest be very careful if you order from Yandy, a lot of their sets have a tendency to run slightly on the bigger side (even their size small) and a lot of their pieces are actually sized S/M and M/L not S, M, L, etc. They do have some XS pieces that will fit A cups fine. But if you are plus size, they have a substantial collection of plus size lingerie.
I'm not mentioning SHEIN because although they are also doing a Black Friday sale, their shit is always cheap lol.
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Safety & Protection Tips For Heauxs:
Always trust your gut.
Screen hard and heavy.
Do not accept dates, arrangements, etc when you're desperate.
Have a plan in place in the event that something does happen to you (test this plan out - i.e. making sure that the emails, texts, etc get sent and work correctly)
Use A VPN and offshore hosting.
Have a security system with a camera and have some kind of app or device (like alexa) that can be voice activated (i.e. if you scream help it calls the police, blasts and alarm, alerts someone, etc.)
Never use your primary phone (have a heaux phone)
Never post pics that you have already posted on your personal social medias (pro tip: delete your personal social medias or at least lock them, set them to private).
Make sure someone knows where you are or where you're going.
If you choose to have a weapon (be it a gun, mace, taser,etc) get proper training and never stop training. (1-2 classes don't count, you now own a weapon that can be used to seriously hurt [if not kill] someone including you. never stop training).
But most importantly:
LEARN SELF DEFENSE. There are specific classes for women that will teach you how to defend yourself against a physical assault from a man. Take these classes and keep taking them. Don't stop at just 3 classes. You want muscle memory. If you ever find yourself in a situation you don't want to have to rely on your brain to remember what you learned in that weekend class. You want your muscles to automatically know what to do without you having to think about it. Take the classes and never stop taking them.
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Becoming The Mistress
I won’t get into the ethical or moral dilemmas of this situation, that is for you to decide. If you choose to become a mistress, it is in your best interest to approach the situation practically and not with your heart or your emotions. Because if/when the relationship ends or if/when shit hits the fan, it’s usually the other woman that gets the blame (and not the man - though usually he is the one that pursued the other woman in the first place) so if you decide to become a mistress make sure you benefit from it - now, throughout the entire duration of your relationship and quite possible even afterwards once the relationship is over.
But whatever you do, don’t go into it because you have feelings, or because the sex was good, or because you're in love, or because you believe he’s going to leave his wife. Only think about pursuing this if you know this man can and will make your life substantially better:
Is he going to provide you with an allowance?
Is he going to cover the rent/mortgage on your apartment, condo, house, penthouse?
Is he going to upgrade your wardrobe?
Provide you with investments?
Is he going to buy you a car?
Is he going to buy you high end jewelry?
Will he be able to use his job/resources/connections to land you a better job, provide references or recommendations?
Will he be able to take you to events or introduce you to people that will allow you to social climb and improve your social status?
Will it be more beneficial (and worth the risk to you) to be seen in public with him or would it be more beneficial to remain a secret?
I will never tell you whether or not you should become someone’s mistress. But I will tell you that if you do decide to pursue it, do not expect this man to leave his wife, do not do this because you’re in love with him and if he does leave his wife for you, remember that he could do this to you in a few years and never forget that the mistress that marries the man has just created a job opening.
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Photo
elie saab spring/summer 2022 couture collection
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so....originally i was going to do a series of posts that basically went step by step on how to become high end...
but my plans unexpectedly changed.
i’d been keeping in touch with several of my clients and when they found out that i was about to stage a comeback and return to the world of the heaux...
2 of them propositioned me and asked if i would be interested in entering an exclusive or semi-exclusive arrangement with them.
so now i’m in 2 semi-exclusive arrangements and i’m a kept mistress lol and i have no idea if i’m ever going to be a full time heaux again lol.
so instead, what i’m going to do is put all of my advice onto this blog about what i think it takes to become high end. all the things i’ve learned throughout my experiences.
none of this is gospel. there’s more than one way to become high end, and these are just the observations and experiences of one black woman. your mileage may vary but i do believe that if someone wants to be in the top tier of providers and is willing to work hard and follow the advice i’m going to lay out, THEY WILL MAKE IT.
and since i don’t have to worry about impressing anyone or being “PC” or polite, i’m going to be blunt as fuck because i see so many girls on here and other social medias either flat out lying or sugarcoating and it’s resulting in girls being set up for failure.
but on my blog? oh i’m just going to tell it like IT IS.
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always bring your own condoms. and bring a variety of them (xtra large, latex, sheepskin, etc.)
most guys like to pull the “oh i didn’t bring any with me” trick, but since you are a professional, always have your own. (this especially goes for sbs, do not depend on your sd to bring them).
always have a variety. on a rare occasion, a guy will supply his own but don’t trust them. use your own. guys have been known to tamper with them, poke holes in them, etc. why the fuck they want to do that is beyond me so trust none and use your own.
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do you want these men to stay in your life long-term?
learn their love language(s).
don’t assume that just because he’s rich, or just because he works in a certain industry that he has a specific love language. everyone is different.
listen. ask questions. observe.
learn his love language(s).
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I spoke with Grey the other night and we jumped from one topic of conversation to the next until we began to discuss the current situation between Russia and Ukraine (although technically it’s Russia, Ukraine and NATO and “situation” is probably not the best word to describe it anymore - but I digress.)
As he was talking about it and giving his opinion and thoughts on the matter, listening to him reminded me how important it is to stay abreast of current events and to know what’s happening in the world. Especially when you’re around these men.
I don’t have a college degree. I went to college for a while and then had to drop out because I could no longer afford it (and I’d refused to take out a loan) and I never went back. But do you know what I get complimented on the most? It’s not my looks, or my body or the way I dress but how smart I am.
I don’t get where some of these girls are coming from when they advise that you should “act dumb” or that “being well informed” isn’t a big deal. Yes, there is a small minority of men that may prefer it if you don’t know anything but they are just that, a minority (and they are usually insecure fucktards that you do not want to be around). Most of these men will want you to be knowledgeable.
I’ve never once been with a benefactor, SD, client, etc., that would’ve preferred it if I was dumb. They may not have wanted me to be smarter than them lol but they definitely didn’t want me to be dumb.
When you’re high end, you’re marketing yourself as the total package. Beauty AND brains (and a few other things too). You’re marketing yourself as the girl he can spend all day, all night, the entire weekend with. These guys will take you to galas and events, you’re going to meet (or run into) friends, colleagues, acquaintances, even strangers you meet may strike up a conversation with you or the two of you and you better not embarrass him. You better be able to keep up and have a general understanding of what is being discussed because sooner or later, someone is going to ask you for your opinion (or notice that you’re not giving one) and you better not embarrass him.
You can only have sex for so many hours and so many times a day. You’re going to have to fill the rest of the time up with something else. And yeah, men love to talk about themselves and at times it will seem as if all you have to do is smile and nod lol but eventually you’re going to have to open your mouth and reply. A pretty face and a hot body will get you clients, but if you don’t have anything else to offer you’re going to end up with only 1 and 2 hour appts, and guys asking for PSE. And guess what? There’s nothing wrong with that.
If you only want short appointments and for guys to do the deed and then leave then don’t worry about what I’m saying. But if you want to be high end, you’ve got be well-informed. Because the minute that man realizes that you’re ignorant to what’s going on in the world and you can’t follow along in conversations, it’s going to turn him off and he won’t be coming back.
Unless it’s just for 1 hour. But honestly? Most guys just won’t come back. They have the money and the means to book a girl that’s the total package so they’ll choose her instead.
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getting your body right is one of the first steps. if mindset is the foundation then being healthy is the cornerstone. i don’t know why i don’t see much talk about the importance of being healthy and fit but from my experience it is one of the most crucial components of becoming high end.
men (especially rich, well off men) notice a lot and they can tell when a woman is healthy and in shape. when you’re healthy, you not only feel better, but you look better. your skin is firm and tight (which screams “youthfulness”), your clothes fit better, your skin glows, you just look better and (although i’m sure this can be said in a better way) it helps when it comes to justifying your rate.
not only that, but this world can get crazy - catching last minute flights, going to events that can last to the early hours of the morning, not to mention all day dates and overnights require some stamina (in more ways than one). being healthy goes a long way in ensuring that you can handle all of it.
one of my mentors put it this way:
if you owned a thoroughbred horse that had the potential to win lots of awards and money, how would you treat it?
would you feed it over-processed and junk food?
would you give it drugs and other substances?
would you let it lay lazily in the pasture day after day?
or would you feed it healthy, nutritious food?
give it vitamins and supplements?
make sure it receives adequate exercise?
of course you would do the latter. because you want it to win.
well in this case, YOU are the thoroughbred.
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